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TKR Pheebs52 Recovery Discovery Journey May 22

It occurred to me this morning that PT could call my flexion jabberwocky instead of referring to it as 81 degrees, but it doesn't alter the facts. I can still walk up stairs, pick all 12 pounds of Princess Pheebs up off the floor (she's 91-ish) while bending my knee, drive, do laundry, empty the DW, and do lots of other stuff I *shouldn't* be able to do. So, "Pretty is as pretty does," eh?
 
Functionality is what we are after. I will never understand the need to measure ROM lying down. I have a much better bend sitting down. I got some nonsense about how lying down there is nothing impeding the bend (other than my leg fat). Depending on the chair/table and how I am sitting on it, I can bend pretty far back with my unoperated knee. I call bogus on that excuse.
 
@knit2tog, spot on. My sentiments exactly. More so, my reality, exactly.

@VW54, we share a bionic left knee and a crumbling right knee. I feel your angst among other things; pffft. The entire right side of my body has been beaten, run over by a tractor trailer, ravaged in the corn. It's in desperate need of *Shelter from the Storm,*. Thanks Dylan.
 
At some unmarked hour during the night, I seem to have unwittingly crossed the recovery Rubicon. I'm standing at the edge of the precipice, looking out over the vast, mediocre territory of "less than." It stretches over the tedious horizon of the next 10 months. I'm weary of having a knee and leg that "needs work." The thrill is gone, that early adrenaline rush that somehow buoys us along in the first few weeks despite the pain and sleepless nights. It's AWOL this morning, MIA. Am I blue or simply realistic? Does it matter? I don't know.:shrug:
 
(((Kmak81230)))

All I can say is, I guess we all land here eventually, eh? Phase 2 of recovery will not be denied.
 
When I am having a downer day, my friend says "Have a day!" (instead of "have a good day!") It's her way of saying... don't fight it, don't feel bad about. Let it happen. It's not your norm. It doesn't dominate. It sometimes just is.
So Pheebs... have a day! ;)
 
Pheebs52 very well put, kinda feeling the same, knowing there's so much more work to do since the ROM is taking awhile, not to mention the new oddness of the new knee and then the pain in the other knee reminding you that you need to do this whole thing all over again . I'm trying not to complain, just facing up to the new reality and adjusting my expectations but knowing that due to the great BoneSmart people here that this will pass. We just need to have faith, keep ours heads down and before we know it, we will be on the other side.

You've got this! :yes!:
 
haha Pheebs ~ no need to apologize. you must have some of canada in you though since i notice you sometimes say "eh", which we're often made fun of for, along with saying "sorry" even if it wasn't our fault. on our news the other day, there were some americans celebrating 4th of july in toronto and this guy was saying he'd be in trouble if he accidentally bumped into someone back home, but in toronto if he bumped into someone and it was his own fault, the other person would say "sorry" lol. i think this is just a myth though, but endearing.:angel:

as JennyLynne said, "have a day". i can relate to how you feel, somedays the knee feels like it is at a standstill. as scarlett would say "after all, tomorrow is another day". i won't repeat rhett's reply...hehe!:sorry:
 
When I find myself standing on that precipice and looking out over the long recovery landscape ahead--days upon days of stiffness, swelling (Lefty still swells some), pain (if I sleep "wrong" or overdo it) and not quite being "there"--I remind myself to turn around and look back.

I spent some time living with the Aymara natives of Bolivia. They live on the Altiplano and are interesting people, and they view time very differently from the way we do. When they speak about the past, they gesture to the space in front of them. We will gesture behind us. The past is in front of us, if you think about it. It's always visible to us; it's always known. So I know where I have been, and what it was like to have new knees, and how my knees feel now. How my knees will be tomorrow is unknown to me. I cannot see that. So the concept of looking out across that recovery landscape is quite false. It cannot be seen. If I'm seeing it... what is it I am seeing? My hopes. My fears. But none of it might ever happen.

And I just love Scarlett O'Hara. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Tomorrow really is another day. Anything can happen. :fingersx:
 
Although the next month may not be exactly what you want, it won't or shouldn't be like the last month. There will be gains and activities you haven't participated in for a while. For me, that third month was huge! I hadn't driven through month 1 or 2 and my knee began to bend, I went back to work at the end of month 3.

This might be a good day to go out to lunch (with leg propped up of course) or see a movie, especially if you have a theater with reclining seats, or visit a friend. Do something special today, just within reason.
 
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Aw Pheebs it's only natural to have some down days, don't despair about the vast stretch of many months to full recovery, a year is a long time but I can guarantee you that by the time you get to where I am at just over 5 months out your knee will be feeling so much like normal that you will have stopped thinking about how long till the year is up. Your only six weeks out and what you are feeling is normal, personally I think it's wrong of the OS's to tell us that by six weeks we'll be well on the road to recovery, took me to week 14 before I began to see that light at the end of the tunnel and I went through many periods of despair prior to that! The light is now shining brightly for me- a few wee flickers but nowt to worry about- yes my other knee is now giving me problems but I try not to let it get to me, the thought of the next TKR doesn't worry me half as much as the first one did because I now know what it entails. So girl get those fishnets pulled up, lift them petticoats and dance dance dance:flwrysmile::flwrysmile::flwrysmile:
 
I'm late to the party, but yeah...what's the deal with the lying down Flexion measurements. Mine are always worse that way. And sitting is a way more natural, dare I say...functional way to bend the knee. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't have 100% confidence in the professionals that are supposed to be helping me.

As to the long landscape of recovery...hang in there. It may take forever to get totally recovered, but you'll have lots of mini milestones along the way to celebrate with us.
 
Pheebs, I remember the same feelings of "this is taking forever" and "I want my life back" at about the same time s you. It lasted a couple of weeks for me, but then I had several gains all at once. When I was in the middle of the abyss, my daughter said "remember you just walked up and down the stairs, drove the car, walked all that way, etc". You have come a long way and you will see that again soon.

As for stairs, I honestly think that stairs might be my favorite things. I know, I know, crazy, but I couldn't do them for so many years that I get such a thrill to be able to take them foot over foot. I think my family got sick of me asking them if they saw that when I went down the stairs. And, yesterday I had a couple of bags in my hand and walked up our 15 steps to the house without the railing - yes! No, I can't do that going down yet.
 
I'm sorry you're having a down day, Pheebs.
Yes, recovery does take a long time, but try to remember that you won't be doing all that time feeling as you do now. Your knee is getting better all the time and you won't always have the stiffness and pain that you have now. Every day, your knee is getting a little bit better, whether you feel that, or not.

By 3 months, you'll be doing most things and by 6 months, you'll be back to normal activity, with just a little reminder from your knee, if you ask too much of it on a particular day.

I remember my last knee at 6 months. I had gone to Sydney, Australia, to visit my brother and his family. That day, my sis-in-law and I spent an entire day walking round the markets. When we got home, my knee was aching and a bit swollen. It was telling me "Hey buddy, you did a bit much for me today. Give me a break!" So, we had a quieter day the next day. I elevated my knee for several hours and took an afternoon nap. All the achiness and swelling had gone by that evening and I went out and about on the following day.
If we had a day without too much physical activity, I could do the same again the following day.
 
Where would I be without my witty, understanding, caring, and brilliant Smartie friends? I shudder to think. In my best "Scarlett," accent (none too spiffy) "Why bless your hearts, each and every one of you." That said, rest assured I didn't tear down the drapes to make a green velvet dress. Who knows though, it could happen tomorrow, though I only have blinds here.

I'm a bit better thanks to going for a much needed back massage and meeting up with on old friend for ice-cream at a local marina with a boardwalk. No tricky, sand walk needed to watch the waves, hear the gulls and drool over the gorgeous yachts.

Still, what's puzzling is the arrival of this spiritual malaise on the heels of a very good week with many important milestones. It certainly didn't help that I slept poorly (on the sofa, unintentionally) woke with a rather swollen, super stiff knee for reasons unknown. Did I sleep *wrong* as someone said? Probably. I've actually had a few good *wake-ups* in the past week, but this definitely wasn't one of them.

My knee just feels blah, or in professional medical lingo, *oogie.* I don't have any sharp pain, just a feeling I can only describe as influenza of the knee. It's hard to define, but annoying, disturbing and I'm tired of it. I think it hit my brain as well, if not, certainly my emotions. If I thought it would remain in this state for the next year, I think I'd amputate. Logically, of course I know it will not. Intellectually, I know it will improve, but I just wasn't buying that on an emotional level this morning. I felt exactly as I had written, overwhelmed by that big, blank canvas of what the next 10-12 months might or might not bring.

Since my crystal ball hasn't functioned properly in at least 50 years, perhaps I should adapt the Aymara perception of time. clearly, they're onto something other than coca leaves.:rolleyes:
 
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