TKR Pain 2 years after TKR

[Jockette]

 

[lovetocookandsew]

This is the place to come to not only to ask questions and share good news, but to complain, whine, moan, etc. We've all been there and really understand. I hope you are able get some really good sleep, then wake refreshed and ready to meet the day tomorrow!

 

[Mollymax]

Hi. I eventually managed to get some sleep. Must have dropped off about 3am, up to toilet at 5am then slept till 8am. Sorry for the moan during the night. Waiting for hubby and the dogs to return. They should be here in about 2hrs then my peace is shattered again...lol. I know I read on here about the disturbed sleep but didn't realise how bad it would be. I have escaped the severe pain others seem to have but the sleep deprivation to me is almost as bad.

 

[Spex10]

Can you let yourself doze off during the day? That was my lifesaver last time. Not so much this time but if I feel I'm going I just let myself drift off. Sometimes it's only for 10 minutes or so but it's so refreshing. Other times the phone goes and I wake with my heart thumping!

 

[nuttybrunette]

That sleep thing...I had to talk about all of you last night as my husband said something under his breath at 1:00 AM about me having a bad habit of not sleeping. Habit?! Really?! Not how I’d categorize it. So I named you all off. And said it’s a thing. A real thing. And none of us would call it a habit. More like torture. He might have gotten more of an earful from me at 1:00 than he anticipated. But when you make a comment to a TKR at 1:00AM and we haven’t been sleeping, we are certainly awake enough to put together a good comeback and not just a one liner mumbling. He now feels for all of you nonsleepers too and won’t call it a habit again. I’m sure of that. LOL LOL

 

[Spex10]

Only one cure for him - the spare bedroom! Then at least one of you will be able to sleep.

 

[lovetocookandsew]

I think sleeping apart during the first part of this recovery is almost a requirement. When both people are getting little sleep, then no one's wide awake and cheerful, which is a recipe for short tempers and arguments. This is a time when the patient really needs a helper who has an unlimited supply of patience, and if they're not well rested, the last thing they'll have is patience.

I know from experience that a lack of sleep causes short tempers, grumpiness, no patience, etc. I have a husband who snores like a jet engine. I was getting little sleep every night; what sleep I did get was constantly interrupted by the jet taking off and I was frustrated beyond belief constantly, and totally exhausted. I am generally a cheerful and patient person, but that went out the window when I wasn't getting the sleep I needed every night. Some years ago, I finally had to realize it was okay to buck society norms and expectations and move to separate bedrooms. I ignored what some people thought, and said, and now I enjoy my nightly peaceful and uninterrupted sleep, not to mention I don't feel like smothering him any more. I'm also a night owl, and hubby is usually in bed several hours before me. I had to try to sneak into the bed without waking him, which was a pain at best. Plus, he gets up at the crack of dawn raring to go, while I'm still sound asleep. The noise and light woke me every morning and it was hard to go back to sleep. I've come to the conclusion that couples sleeping in the same bed every night can be overrated and is not always a good thing for everyone! And, when necessary, even if it's a temporary solution, it's the perfect solution for when one partner is having sleepless nights and the other one still needs to sleep and be well rested.

 

[Mollymax]

Hubby back now. I have told him that I am not sleeping and there is no point of him coming back into the room so he needs to continue to sleep in the other room. You are right he would just be a complete grump he would be annoyed at me keeping him awake. He needs to understand that I am not fit just now and I need my space whether it is to read, watch TV or cry. Part of me is enjoying having the bedroom to myself. Doubt it would go down well as a permanent thing though. We put up with shift work for 40 odd years so we are used to someone coming and going very late or very early.

 

[Mollymax]

Morning. Day 25 post op. I managed a full night's sleep apart from one toilet trip. How did I manage that? Well up until 2 months ago I took Amytriptelene. I only stopped because I hated the sweating I got when on them. I asked hubby to bring me them when he came yesterday. About 3 months ago my doctor said to up them to 30mg to help cope with the nerve pain from my lymphodema. So last night I took 30mg. I slept . It was so good not to be lying frustrated in the middle of the night.

Have been walking around inside with only one stick but two outside. So as I seem to be managing to get around and prepare easy meals etc hubby said it looked like I was ready to go back to work . . What planet does my hubby live on.

 

[Kazmeraz]

Hi Mollymax I’ve been reading your thread and chuffed you got some good zzz’s last night. I also work for HMRC and think my OH lives on the same planet as yours!
I’m nearly 7 weeks post op and struggling too. I just wish the knee would settle down and not keep surprising me with different pains aches and cramps.
Which cause me no end of worry and stress as I’m then concerned is that ok should I get it looked at?
I need to stop doing my morning inspection of the knee as it always looks the same.
I fully expected to be back up and running after 6 weeks and feel short changed. But I was also naive as I went into this with no idea of what it entailed.
I should’ve done my homework.
I will follow your progress and know I’m sending you support and encouragement throughout.

 

[Laurenkate]

I've come to the conclusion that having a knee replacement is like having a baby. You can research, read, research some more, people will tell you and tell you and tell you what to expect but until you're going through it, you don't entirely understand what you've read, researched, and been told. I only had one child but am starting to learn a second tkr is like having a second child - same process - but different in its own way too.

 

[nuttybrunette]

@Laurenkate Your child analogy is spot on. Was just talking about that last night. With first child you worry about everything. Are they progressing on time? Are they healthy? Protect them from everything. But second child, most are more relaxed about. They know it will all turn out ok so no point in fretting it all. Same with knees. My first one, I was worried and concerned about every aspect. My second knee...it will be whatever it will be. Not too many worries. Not listening to the OS or PT about ROM windows I’m much happier and time goes quicker without all the worry. I do think about it a lot but it’s more in the background, not taking over my every waking moment. And I do think it’s because it’s my second. You could tell a first time parent not to worry, but until they’ve seen their child grow up ok they won’t be able to relax. I feel for the first time TKRs, as they don’t have that past experience, but coming here to BS is the next best thing!! All kinds of past experience here to read about!!

 

[lovetocookandsew]

for getting some sleep, @Mollymax !

I think your husband lives on the planet "Wishful Thinking"! Or maybe "Dream On"! Wait, I have it, he lives on the planet "Out Of His Mind"!

God forbid he ever has to walk a mile in your shoes, but unless or until he does, he won't really get it. Mine has been with me through every single knee surgery, some extremely difficult, some not as difficult, plus numerous other surgeries, hospitalizations, six pregnancies and deliveries (and every single one of them without epidurals!) but has never actually been through anything of the kind himself. He doesn't totally understand, but he knows me well and knows I like to be busy and productive. So, if I'm lying around most of the day, he knows I need to do so. He knows as I recover I'll do more and more until I'm busy and productive all day again. He also sees me struggling to do normal tasks, but has the smarts to stand back while I do what I can and only do the things for me I can't yet do. And he constantly reminds me not to go anywhere without my phone; otherwise how can I call him to let him know "I've fallen and can't get up". He jokes about it but I know it's because he's concerned I'll try to do too much when alone and end up falling. Tell your husband you'll go back to work when you're ready, and not one second before. Also, warn him that that won't be until somewhere around three months post-op!

 

[Mollymax]

Kazmeraz another civil servant then. Where are you based? I get fed up with their sickness policies. For goodness sake major operation and I won't be ready for work for many weeks yet so they will just need to accept that. Like you I thought I would pick up quicker.
I like the analogy of child birth and knee replacement. I had 3 children and forgot each time what it was like or I might not have gone on and had the next one. Each birth was different .
Lovetocookandsew I used to say to hubby (wrong I know) that I hoped he would get arthritis and then he would know the daily pain I suffered and how much it stopped me doing the things I wanted. I used to be able to keep up with him on our walks but the worse the arthrtis got the slower I got until I ended up yelling at him that there was no point going out with him as he didn't wait for me anyway. Led to many a falling out. I guess he does worry in his own way but he doesn't show it. I have told him it would be 3 months before I intended going back to work and even then I have a holiday away with my daughter and 5year old grandson to Gran Canaria in Sept.
I will go back when I feel able to and cope with nearly an hours drive each way and not before.

 

[lovetocookandsew]

Mine doesn't exactly show it when he's worried about me, but makes jokes like the one above. I know him well, so I know how he expresses things, and know that when he tells me not to forget my phone, he's saying he's worried I might fall and have no way to get help to me if I can't get back up. He did, however, tell me later that night, the day my pain ball emptied before we got it replaced, that he hated to see me in that much pain and wished he could take it instead of me. That was huge for him as he rarely verbalizes those feelings; instead he just does things for me. I think a lot of men are like that, unlike we women who have no problem verbalizing our feelings.....all day every day sometimes.

 

[Kazmeraz]

Hi Mollymax I’m at Shipley and yes the attendance management is really stressful especially when your part time too!
My op was 6/6/18 & note ends 1/8/18 but on leave for 2 weeks after. So by time go back it will be just be about 10 weeks.
I was wondering about asking my GP about Gabapentin to help with the nerve problems in my feet have you had any experience of this medicine?
It’s bad enough struggling with the knee but my foot is driving me nuts.
It makes me reluctant to put any weight on it.
And with my diabetes it’s a real concern but not for my consultant!
Anyway Mollymax hope u get a repeat nights sleep and it’s another day under the belt.

 

[Mollymax]

Lovetocookandsew that was a lovely thing your hubby said. He sounds really kind. When my hubby says something nice about my recovery etc I will let you know. Its usually something like what he said 10 mins OK when I was dozing I. The chair and thought I would go to bed .. He said its like living in an old folks home with you just now. I am having to cook the meals and clean up or we would be eating rubbish and the dishes would pile up. However I did get him to hoover, wash the kitchen floor and change the bed. Not without him moaning mind you. I knew that this was going to be the hardest part of my recovery.
Kazmeraz I work in Dundee office and only part time as partially retired. My holiday is 1 day before my 12 weeks after operation. I was hoping to stay off till then and go back after the holiday. Surgeon has said I should be OK to fly by then. At the moment just over 3 this since operation I can't even think about going back. I expect my manager will be on the phone this coming week to see what's what. I have never had Gabapentin so can't comment on that. Is it similar to Amytriptelene?
Heading to bed soon so hoping to have another night's sleep but I could be asking too much.

 

[Txmomgmom3]

My hubby can be difficult at times with this recovery. I think it's like what others have said their not used to seeing us not able to do what we normally can do. He will be the first to let me do too much but then fuss about how I need to get off my feet. The other day one of the ww leaders I work with got a little aggravated that I wasn't working my usual schedule yet...I was upset when I got off the phone and hubby says she does know they basically amputated you from the upper leg down right? Definitely over exaggerated but he was all indignant

 

[Mollymax]

Sounds like mine. Happy to let me cook etc and run after him but when work calls says don't they know you had major operation and need time to recover. Men are strange.

 

[Mollymax]

Leg and knee very swollen. I know some of the swelling in calf is from lymphodema but knee is very tight tonight. Even foot is very puffy.