I so appreciate everyone’s support during my difficult days. I’ve felt some physical improvement over the last week. The pain is by no means gone but I’ve been able to back off to Tylenol only during the day. I still take a Tramadol at night to try and guarantee a decent night’s sleep and I still sleep with ice packs in the recliner. I’m having the most pain problems in the SI joint area, the incision, the groin and the lateral side of my knee. I finally see my OS next Thursday.
I’ve gone to the office twice this past week for just a couple of hours and brought home some work to do from here. Yesterday, I drove my car about a quarter mile to the store to pick up a few things before being taken home from the office. I have not been cleared to drive yet but I’m so sick of having to ask for things I insisted on doing it myself. The vibe of resentment is palpable and so I just won’t ask for anything that I can try and do myself. We are ALL weary of my limitations. I promised that if I felt like there was any issue controlling the car in the office parking lot that I would park and not go. What really stunned me was how quickly I wore out at the store. It was a short list but since I’ve been housebound they rearranged everything in the store so I had to wander more than I expected. My shoulder actually got pretty sore from leaning on the cart. Once home, I made my own lunch but later in the afternoon I laid down for a short nap (with ice) and slept like a stone about 2 hours until dinner. The good news is, even though I exhausted myself I didn’t feel more pain. It just amazes me how worn out I get over the simplest things.
I think this is the hardest part in some ways. I’m happy the pain is more manageable but I’m still moving slow and with a lot of caution. I am not ready to let go of the support of the cane. The family sees me doing better so they assume I need less help. I’ll ask for help with something once, then either push to do it myself or just give up that it’s not going to happen. I knew it would evolve this way and I even had a tearful discussion with my husband about it pre-op. He tried to reassure me but I knew he thought it would only be a couple of weeks and not drag on. Reading BoneSmart was what gave me the first glimpses into what I was facing and I’ll admit, it scared me. The OS was so blasé about what recovery involved and that’s what set the husband’s expectations. Overall, I think I’m doing pretty well considering a lot of the experiences I read here. But the message I continue to come away with is to not push too hard too soon and risk a setback. I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place.