I've been pacing back and forth in my head all day about PT. I lurked on BoneSmart all day, posted some encouraging words for others, re-read articles about healing and PT and exercise... I paced around some more in my head (because I'm not in a position to really pace at the moment).
Then I finally logged on to my provider's app, opened up my appointments and one by one, canceled all of my weekly PT appointments. I checked the box "Condition Improved" for the reason for cancelation.
It was just so hard to cut the apron strings here. But I think I know in my gut that this isn't the way for me to heal. The awkwardness of doing it remotely made canceling that much easier.
I'm the type of person who usually has a difficult time bucking a system. I'll do it if the system isn't working for me, but I really have to be pushed. So I still kind of feel like I made a mistake... which I didn't...

I've been stretching here and there only as much as it feels pleasant and hurts in a good way, like yoga. And both of my legs can bend 90° now. I take turns putting my weight on each leg. I stretch. I do little mini squats. Everything I'm doing feels nice and helps me wake up my butt that fell asleep, or brings blood to my legs, or stretches out my upper back... I'm not doing anything that I don't just naturally want to do.
This is a very peaceful place to be.
