New here and terrified

[bottomshollow]

Cookie42, you can start a thread about healthy food for recovery that members make themselves in the Social Room forum if you want to.

 

[Butterfly]

I still make soups like my mama did, too. Thick, and I basically throw in whatever I have in the fridge. A person can live very well on good nourishing soup, with maybe a salad and some fruit.

Mama lived through the Depression, and she was very careful not to waste food. So when I was growing up practically every leftover thing went into a plastic container in the freezer and when it was full, up popped a big pot of delicious soup. It was always very good and somehow very comforting. Maybe I'll try to make some tomorrow, if I can stand up long enough.

I envy you having surgery next week -- I still don't have a date, but will be seeing my surgeon on the 18th, so maybe I'll get a date then. I'm really looking forward to feeling better -- I'll probably have to have both hips replaced, but at least I'm on the road to getting it done. I'm very tired of being a crippled person. I put it off way too long because I was scared.

 

[Butterfly]

Great idea -- let's start a thread about that. I'm sure it's a concern for everyone -- being able to prepare good nourishing food quickly, or ahead of time or both. It isn't a time to be standing over the stove for hours, that's for sure.

 

[Cookie42]

bottomshollow Butterfly I did start a thread in the social area about foods during recovery. I hope to get some good replies since I asked for ideas. They may come too late for me (I'm going in a couple of days), but hopefully it will help others wanting food ideas.

 

[bottomshollow]

Cookie42

 

[Butterfly]

I've been unable to go to work the last two days because my pain has escalated so much. Today I told them I thought it would be a long time till I was well enough to come back. I work in a very small office and we have no sick leave or anything like that. But I just cannot do it anymore; last week was a nightmare, even using two canes. I had been trying to work thru this as long as I could, but that day came this week. Boss is not very happy about it. I did, in fact, leave them in the lurch, that's the truth. But this forum has taught me I have to take care of myself if I ever want to get better. I was trying at least to work thru this week till I see the OS on Thursday, but it was just more than I can handle. I am probably fired, but I'm 67 after all, and it is time to focus on me for a change, and I think I'll be OK financially, thanks to Social Security and medicare.

I guess I was hoping for some sympathy, or gratitude for how long I did hang in there, but I didn't get it. Not really a surprise. My boss is very difficult and self-centered and has gotten worse as the years have passed. When I've tried to talk with her about it in the past, she told me she didn't "want to hear about it," acting like the whole hip thing was something I was blowing out of proportion just to inconvenience HER. She has had to have seen this coming, whether she wanted to hear about it or not, watching me the last couple years struggle along with one cane, now two, hardly being able to get up the steps to the front door, not able to go anywhere I had to walk more than a few steps, etc. Truth is, the last few years I have hated working there, because the work environment has gotten nothing less than toxic.

So I am glad it's done, but I am just feeling generally lousy about the whole thing.

I need hugs. I talked to my lab, Harold, about it at some length and he assured me it will all be OK in the end because I can spend more time scratching him. I still feel crappy about it. Probably feel better in the morning.

 

[Poppet]

Butterfly, I am a great believer that things happen for a reason, such as with your job.. Doesn't sound like a nice place to work. Imagine that boss if she had to go through what you have been going through..

Time to focus on you!

 

[wigmar]

Butterfly, so sorry your boss is so uncaring, time to focus on yourself and getting better. more hugs from me

 

[Elosarabrab]

Butterfly Huge hugs from me. You will be free to recover at your own pace now and not have your boss breathing down your neck demanding you get back to work. I am returning to work on Monday. I have been off since November as I had both hips done a few months apart.
You will be fine and all the better for not trying to rush recovery.

 

[bottomshollow]

Butterfly, I understand the emotions you're going through---been there myself long ago. It's pretty much a bummer here in the beginning, but in a few days when things have settled you will feel an overwhelming sense of relief that it's all behind you.

Take care, sweetie, and keep us posted. We really really do care.

 

[Butterfly]

Thank you all for the hugs and caring. The whole interchange with the boss hurt my feelings to the bone and just made me feel insignificant. I've been there sixteen years. I think things happen for a reason, too -- it is just time for me to get out of there. The stress level was killing me. I need to be around positive supportive people, like this forum. I can't begin to say how important you have all been to me, helping me out of my panic and despair to a place where I can go forward and know I'll be OK.

My mother once told me that when people say uncaring and cruel things to you, it does not say anything about you, but it speaks volumes about THEM.

Thank you again for your support and encouragement.

Love and peace.

 

[Goody2Shoes3]

 

[Red Shoe]

Butterfly take comfort dear lass I'm a strong believer in karma and those that are unkind and lack emotion usually come unstuck in the end. In a few months time you will look back and be glad your away from this person and no doubt will move on to do better things. Get yourself well and see it as a new chapter in life and one that has a good ending xx

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks, RedShoe, for your kind thoughts. I do not wish her ill, of course, nor anyone. But I do believe the old saw "what goes around, comes around." Or, "what we do reflects back to us."

So I just need to release this negative experience and move on with positive thoughts and love. I don't need toxic junk like resentment and hurt in my heart right now. And I get a lot of positive thoughts and love and caring from this forum.

Bottomshollow was right, as usual, and I am already feeling a sense of relief.

Peace and love.

 

[tashia]

Butterfly, Here we are all friends and give hugs whenever we can. Remember you need this and you also need to suround yourself with postive people like us so you have it made. <<<<<<<Hug>>>>>>>> There are many more from here. Take care and do keep us posted and whenever you need a hug come here. Tashia

 

[Poppet]

"My mother once told me that when people say uncaring and cruel things to you, it does not say anything about you, but it speaks volumes about THEM.".... Never a truer statement made... Good for your Mum.

 

[Butterfly]

Josephine I saw my OS yesterday for the first time. He said that I clearly need both hips replaced (I knew that already from my primary doc). I wanted the anterior and he told me that based on the widespread osteopenia (not osteoporosis) and bone thinning he saw in my X-rays and bone density scan, that he thought the anterior approach would be inappropriate for me because it is easier to deal with problems like that from the posterior approach, where they have more room to work and less possibility of damaging the femur in placing the implant. He also noted I am a small person. He also said they really usually do not cut muscle anymore with the posterior approach.

He will only do the one hip at a time, with 30 days in between.

Does all this sound right to you? I liked the surgeon, and he came highly recommended, by friends of mine upon whom he had operated, by my primary doctor, and also a chiropractor and the internet.

He said he would use a titanium implant (he showed it to me -- it is mostly metal but with a plastic cup thing that goes inside the metal piece they place into the socket, so the metal head is against the plastic cup, not other metal). I have issues with jewelry making me break out and getting fat red sore ears from earrings that are not gold or stainless, which is why he said titanium.

I had wanted the anterior approach because I had heard that the recovery was so much easier and faster, but of course I don't want it if it isn't going to work as well. Is there really a huge difference between the two?

What is your opinion?

Thanks.

Peace and love to you.

Sorry for rambling on so.

 

[Josephine]

It all sounds perfect. And truthfully, the supposed benefits from the anterior approach is only of note in the first 2-3 weeks if that. After the recovery is the same for all. And it's not a case of it 'not working as well' but of your surgeon being able to cope with any unforeseen difficulties or tweeks that may arise. They may not but you wouldn't want to hamper him would you? (not that he would let you!)

And all the pros and cons your surgeon listed I would agree with 100%. The approach is not the important thing - the skill of your surgeon is and it sounds to me like he has a good eye for this.

 

[akphip]

Hi Butterfly and all of you with fears about your surgery, which is a totally normal reaction, and the associated worries that come along with preparing for that: I am 4 days postop from a direct anterior approach (DAA) THR and am AMAZED about how much pain relief I have received and how relatively easy the surgical experience was (and I don't want to minimize this since everyone goes through the process differently). However, I have an advantage in that I am also a healthcare provider with a specialty in anesthesia and although one would think that I would be fully prepared for my surgery, I too had fears about undergoing my replacement, even though I explain the anesthesia and deliver it on a daily basis several times a day as well as view the surgical procedures with the same frequency. Remember, although you can watch and explain it a thousand times, unless you personally experience something, it is still unknown to you on that level. Being a patient is the same for a healthcare provider and a lay person. It's just plain scary!

Having surgery is a frightening experience no matter who we are or what we have seen. Even though I was exposed to all of the details and information months prior to my surgery, I still joined this forum to get support from folks who had perspectives to contribute that would be difficult to ascertain from the medical/surgical community, who often do not have firsthand knowledge of what the actual step by step, beginning to end perceptions are of what all of it "felt like" to undergo a total hip replacement.

I did a lot of research prior to my procedure and was committed to having a DAA. I didn't join Bonesmart right away, but did read a lot from their forum articles on hip replacement (Bonesmart is a fabulous resource with a one stop shopping ability to provide information) as well as other websites. The hospitals I work out of do not have a lot of OS that perform the DAA so I found the names of 2 surgeons that perform it and I had consultations with both. I made sure to ask "how many" DAA's they had performed along with the usual important questions that are listed on the websites questions to ask before settling on a surgeon. The surgeon I chose had done the most DAAs in my region and was skilled in the technique. If you are a candidate for this approach, and would like to have it, make sure you have a consultation with someone who does LOTS of them because if the OS you visit does not do a substantial amount of DAA, they will spend time trying to talk you into having the procedure they do the most of because they want to do your surgery. Let's face it, they need to work and get the most patients they can. Most people forget that surgery is a business too, which is why you should shop around.

More importantly, arm yourself with as much information as you can -- read, read, read; ask your surgeons questions and make sure you have them written down in advance because when you are in the office it can be easy to forget what you want to ask when you are in the throes stress and anxiety. Make sure you feel that your questions have been answered to your satisfaction and don't let anyone "blow you off". The more information you have, the better prepared you will feel.

Lastly, if you are unable to walk without a cane and/or a walker, and not getting relief from pain medication, it is time to move forward with surgery. I am a very active person and had to drop off my activities one by one and couldn't do anything without thinking of how much pain it was going to cause me, which was everything I did. It totally consumed me and everything I did. In retrospect, I waited much longer than I should have to have my surgery. My life is already so much better. Not to say that I am not experiencing post op pain, but it is so much more preferable to the preop bone on bone pain, which was excruciating even with medication! My current pain is surgical pain, bruising and swelling, which is much more tolerable believe it or not, and I am able to put full weight on my leg, walking with a cane which I am using just for safety. I am able to walk up and down the steps and if I wasn't taking percocet (be sure to take your medication, I can't stress that enough), I could easily walk without my cane. With a DAA, by the way, I have no restrictions on movement, so I am just using the cane for safety and stability. All of this is such a relief!!

Do not delay your surgery -- it's amazing how much better you will feel. Sure, you will have some pre procedure jitters, that is normal, but your life will be so incredibly improved after it is done!!

 

[Butterfly]

Josephine Thank you for your time and concern and reassurance..

I'm very stressed about this, and I had so wanted the anterior approach, but I'll put myself in the hands of the surgeon and accept this. I guess I could go around and get another opinion or two, but it doesn't seem worthwhile since I have had such good reports about this surgeon both from professionals and patients, and I really don't want someone doing something that's dangerous or iffy just because that's what I want. I do want the surgeon to do what is best for me and I don't want to take more chances than necessary. I know that this surgeon does a lot of anterior approach surgeries, so it isn't just that he doesn't know how to do them or isn't very experienced in doing them.

Does that implant sound OK? The titanium one with the metal head and the plastic cup inside the metal cup? I failed to ask what brand it is.

I think I just need to exhale and ago with the flow. I just had another fit of fear and this too will pass.

Peace and love to you.