New here and terrified

[Butterfly]

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Am I doing this right? Thanks for all your help

 

[Upstater]

Butterfly Another positive thought...we are so fortunate this surgery is available. Our ancestors had to suffer. I was worried about "giving up the time to recover" until I realized I would never enjoy anything without the new hip....and that was much more to lose.

 

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Am I doing this right?

You're a quick study----got it just right

 

[ByGosh]

Hello Butterfly Lovely avatar and welcome to BoneSmart. It's a wonderful forum and you will get all the help, support, advice, laughs and encouragement you need to get through this.
I'm sorry to hear that you're facing surgery but we're all apprehensive about it - you have lots of company with that feeling! It's very normal to be anxious. Read as much as you can and you'll learn a lot and feel less in the dark about all of it.

I was terrified of surgery, but realized I had no other option, so...it had to be done. I chose anterior for the reasons you said, supposedly quicker recovery, less restrictions, I knew a highly regarded surgeon and a few of his patients. I also had both hips done at once. My recovery has not been ideal, but that's just mine. Whether it's because I did both at once, had anterior approach, some other reason, or a combination of all reasons, I don't know. A few others who had bilateral did very well - Gershom, smrt2run and cndydutch. Check out their threads. Also SeaSiren, who is currently still recovering, is a bilateral.
I personally felt that having both done at the same time was very hard on me - I was surprised at how weak and tired I was afterward. I've gained my strength back now, though, but it's tough having no good leg to help when they're both operated on at the same time. I still have pain and the OS feels it's 'soft tissue inflammation.'
The positive with bilateral, I was told by a PT, (I didn't read this and an MD didn't tell me) is that there's less chance of a leg length difference when the OS is doing both, but I would think with a good OS the chances of that happening aren't that great. And with doing both at once, you have 1 surgery and 1 recovery. Truthfully, it's not easy, though.
Whether you do both hips with one surgery, or not, is a decision you can make with your OS when you see him - some won't do both at once, while others will.

Whether you do anterior or posterior approach is another decision, usually you go with the OS on that. One fellow who is having his hips done has posted some links on the difference between the two approaches. Check out bsilvers thread if you want to read them.

Also, you should be able to get help with the pain. Get some ice gel paks and use them as much as you can where you have pain. And I think staying off of your hips whenever possible is a good idea. A hot bath or shower can help for a time. Some people use the pain/arthritis creams at the drugstore, I didn't find them too helpful, though.
I won't recommend any particular meds, but many people will use the over-the-counter pain control meds or anitinflammatories as directed, if it's medically ok for you and it's ok with your primary doc, or OS. Or you can call your primary and see if he can prescribe something for you, or ask the OS when you see him for a med, to tide you over til surgery. I don't think you should suffer if you don't have to. I used meds pre-op - couldn't have made it without them.

I hope this isn't too much information, and that it helps some. Good luck and keep us posted! Don't be afraid to ask questions, we're more than glad to help.

 

[sandybeach]

Butterfly I am among the ones who had both hips replaced but the surgeries were 6 weeks apart. I wanted to be done as soon as possible. I haven't had a bad experience with my recovery at all. I have been back to work for 4 weeks already since my last surgery and that has also gone good. I had a hard time believing at first that I needed hip replacement. When the doctor said those words it scared me too. I didn't know anyone who had their hips replaced so I felt completely alone. I tried several different doctors and even tried chiropractic care thinking that the doctors were wrong but all that did was prolong my agony. By the time I had found my OS and had my surgeries scheduled I was in constant pain and could hardly walk. The surgery turned out to be a breeze. Recovery can be difficult but I would rather go through recovery than have the pre-op pain.

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks Bygosh and Sandybeach, for your sharing and your encouragement. I'm having a very hard time right now. I've made the decision that I have no other choices but the surgery. I had been chugging along for quite a while and doing fine with a cane; but suddenly it got REALLY WORSE almost overnight and now I have pain all the time and can't even get comfortable in bed and I can hardly walk at all. I will see the OS on July 18 and have an appointment with my regular PC doctor next week. I do not like my PC, (he is about as compassionate and interested as a tree stump) but I'm sort of stuck with him till I get this surgery past. I don't want to wait around to get assigned a new PC and then basically start over. And I have heard great things about the OS, so I am eager to see him. His scheduler told me the wait for surgery is not so bad this summer, so maybe I will get lucky.

ANYWAY, the main reason I am writing this is just for encouragement to get there. Today I could hardly get around at all, and I'm feeling very alone right now. Having a pity party, I guess, but everything in my life seems to have gotten so difficult. I have to go get blood work done tomorrow (fasting, so early in the AM and I can't even take my ibuuprofen) and I'm worried about being able to make it to the lab. I guess if I get stuck in that long hallway I'll just holler and someone will come from one of the clinics to help. I just HATE this and I can't wait to get it behind me. I just keep thinking "every day I get through is one day closer to having it over with" and that helps. I've also been trying to every day remember what I have to be grateful for (a lot!) and that this is just a big flat blip on the computer screen of life. I am very fortunate that I now have a Medicare Advantage plan that will pay for almost all of the medical stuff. I can't imagine what people without insurance face -- I could never afford it without good coverage, and I can't imagine going on forever like this.

I need a hug!

 

[Upstater]

Here's a hug! It's okay to have a pity party. It will all be ok. We all worry about different things. I was worried about not eating the day of surgery! My surgery was at 5 pm and I actually did not starve to death. This is such a great site because we all understand. You are never alone. You are going to be such a great help to others here after your surgery!

 

[Poppet]

Absolutely ok to have a pity party Butterfly.. The lead up to surgery is horrible, for me the pain seemed to accelerate and I often read it is the same for other members..

 

[Upstater]

Butterfly It just occurred to me that my pain was always intensified by any stress. Pre surgery is very stressful. My pain and stiffness increased as the surgery approached, which made me look forward to it more!

 

[Elosarabrab]

Butterfly Here's a HUGE HUG for you. We know what you are going through. It is tough being in pain all the time. It wears you down and its hard to be positive. Once you have surgery it will be like some horrible nightmare.
Hang in there. Come and vent on here as much as you need to.

 

[Cookie42]

My husband asked me the other day if I would have this surgery if I didn't have Medicare. My reply was we wouldn't be able to afford it. So I would just keep hurting. This hip is so completely different from the other in how it hurts. The first one hurt when walking and that was about the only time. This one walks fine but changing positions hurts like heck. I wake myself up groaning sometimes. And yes, it is getting worse quickly. I was wondering if I was doing this too early, but the closer it gets to the surgery, the worse it's getting, so it's not too early. Anyway (((((( Butterfly ))))) I can never get that tagging to work! HO HO it did work this time -- a first.

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks for alll the encouragement and hugs! I made it to the lab all right without falling in the hallway-- it's a REALLY LONG hallway and I made it there and back! I used two canes and it was not as bad as I though it would be. I just kept saying "I CAN do this."

Another step taken on my way!!! YAY!! Now I am going to go sit in my recliner.

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[Elosarabrab]

Butterfly I am glad you managed to get to the lab and get things underway.
Rest up take care of yourself.

 

[Jojool]

Butterfly I think it must be "in the air" today. I've been sitting here on my recliner, in tears for hours. Cant' seem to stop sobbing. I know I'm not alone, but I am so lonely. I sit here for hours on end, unable to move other than to go to the bathroom and maybe fix something to eat.....alone. My husband works full time, then comes home and works by taking care of me and our animals and the household. I don't know what I'd do without him, but I break into tears when he leaves in the morning, I just feel so all alone. My surgery is August 12. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but for now it is just sad, depressing and makes me angry that I am in so much pain. I haven't left my home since last Sunday, when my husband insisted we get out and go to the movies. It was a wonderful break from the routine, but the pain getting to the theater was almost more than I could take. Guess it's pity party day on BS.

 

[Elosarabrab]

Jojool What I said in post 30 goes to you too. Huge Hugs hang in there.

 

[Upstater]

Happy to hear your lab trip is behind you! I know you were worried. Anticipation is often the worst part of anything! Yes another step on your way to feeling better.

 

[BeckyR]

Butterfly, Jojool, Hugs, hugs, hugs to both of you! You are NOT alone. My surgery is 7/10 -- this coming Wednesday -- and I've definitely felt increased anxiety. More pain, too, because I'm off the NSAIDS. All kinds of freakish "what ifs?" come to mind -- really idiotic things. As Upstater said, we are so fortunate to have this surgery available to us. Earlier generations wound up completely crippled for the rest of their lives. We will all get through this together. Hipstah power!!!!!

 

[Butterfly]

JoJool, I think I can imagine how you feel, 'cause it is probably much the way I feel. My hips have gotten so bad I do almost nothing, certainly very little outside the house, except medical stuff and my part-time job. I'm going to have to quit that job, because even tho it is a desk job it has just become too hard to get through the day. I"m 67 and I guess it is time to quit anyway. The pain and struggle to do even the smallest things just sucks out your energy and, worst of all, your spirit. I don't have a surgery date yet, but hope it will not be too far away. It just seems like life has taken a detour around me -- everybody else is doing things and having 4th of July stuff and I'm stuck in my old recliner. And it is very hard to get into and out of and I need a new one. I've been looking online at the ones that are power recliners so you don't have to struggle with that lever thing and don't have to force the footrest down with your feet. They're pretty expensive, though, but maybe it would be a good investment for me. When my son gets back in town I'm going to talk to him bout helpingme choose a new one. Do you have one of the power recliners?

I can't even get comfortable in bed anymore, even with a whole buncha pillows stacked up under and around me in whataever ways are supposed to help.

I feel sure we will get thru this, but it sure isn't an easy road to get there. I think it has gotten worse since I quit trying to convince myself it wasn't all that bad. Anyway, we'll get thru this one way or another and be glad it is over.

 

[Butterfly]

Becky R, I do the same scary "what if" stuff, particularly if I read stories about people who are not doing so well. I "what if" about what if I die on the table, what if it doesn't work and my femur falls apart, what if I wind up totallly crippled and in excruciating pain, what if they don't control the pain, what if I get HIV from a transfusion, what if I completely lose it while waiting for surgery and go into a complete meltdown in the waiting area, etc., etc, etc., and may the worst what if is what if in the pre op workup they find out I have some horrible cancer or something and am going to die (don't know why that scares me so, but it does). Most of this, of course, comes at 3:00 AM when I've woken up in pain and in the cold light of day I realize it is irrational fear popping up. I try to say a big "NO" when I start having those thoughts. I guess it is just part of the process. Sometimes when I have those thoughts in the night, my big labrador retriever, Harold, will come and snuggle with me and that helps. Big ol' black labs are very comforting, especially at 3:00 AM. He is a bed hog, though, and he snores!

 

[Poppet]

Hi Butterfly,

I so understand those 'irrational fears" and the "what if's" ... I struggled with them For EIGHT YEARS, yes I delayed my surgery for eight years, to the point that I and my hip were in a dreadful condition. In fact we had gone out to look at electric wheelchairs!

Why did I wait... because I was petrified! In fact terrified of all that you mentioned in your post..

I wish I had known about BoneSmart and the wonderful supporting community we have back then, no way would I have procrastinated. There is much, much more negative aspects to my Pre surgery story... All that is well and truly history..

But this is not about me, it is about your fears and anxiety and helping you get across the line to take back the quality of life you so deserve, so let me try to address some of your "what it's"

'What if I die on the table' - check this out.. https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads...now-i-will-be-safe-during-the-operation.3823/.

'What if my femur falls apart' - very unlikely and that is a fear even I (whom I considered to be the queen of Pre surgery anxiety) didn't think of

'What if they don't control my pain' - have no concern about that, your surgical and nursing team are well aware of the complexity of this surgery and the last thing they want is for you to be in pain. You will get the appropriate pain meds and if you consider it is insufficient you discuss it with your medical team.. but don't forget, you won't have the terrible, exhausting, energy draining, bone-on-bone pain that you have now. In fact the first time I stood up, I was amazed.. Where had that pain gone... Well the diseased part of my hip etc was cut away and replaced by a 'state of the art' piece of beauty

'What if I get HIV from a blood transfusion'.. I had almost a complete blood exchange over the course of five days.. donated blood is very well screened now.. No chance of that

'What if I have a melt down in the waiting room' .. when you get to hospital, the whole process of admitting you and getting you prepared happens so fast.. You won't have time for a melt down.. My hubby came with me up to the Pre op annexe and was taking photos of me on my iPad on the gurney, just minutes before they wheeled me in.. He couldn't get over how calm I was! I sensed the most peaceful frame of mind come over me.. My surgeon popped his head around the curtain and said 'are we ready'.. 'You betcha I am, lets get this show on the road' - I knew at that stage that I was just an hour or two away from getting rid of the dreadful pain.. just about the same amount of time as sitting and watching a movie.. It is over so fast

'Pre op and cancer' - now that is one that didn't occur to worry wort here (me) either.. My fear around Pre op was how long was it going to take.. I had to get back to work

Hang in there, when you wake up at 3 am in the morning worrying, jump onto BoneSmart and check out the social room, there is always someone from somewhere in the world online, ready to chat with you