Become an Insider

Revision TKR Never give up, keep trying, don't settle - that's me, Bonnie

old goat said:
Be careful with all that twising getting in and out of cars. You are a strong lady! Hang in there! Hugs, Ann
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Thanks Ann, I do try to always be careful. Dave is 6ft tall and me 5' 2" so I am no match for him if he loses his balance even if he is skinny now. I just try to make sure that each step he takes is very calculated and careful.

The best part of my week now is when I go to my PT. Although it is PT in the true sense of the word, they are also a sports performance training, so after I do my knee stuff I get to work out for up to 3 hours, just like being in a gym. I am getting strong all over and at the same time it makes me feel good, it is like I am part of the family there with that feeling of belonging and that is something that I need so much after losing my running community. Once I can leave Dave alone to maneuver the stairs, shower, etc., then I am going to meet up with that beginner bike group and maybe I can make myself like biking so that I won't miss running so much. I will test the waters with running without being too aggressive and see where that takes me. I can register for the Houston Marathon on May 8! The thing is...before I do run, I need to be strong in all the right places to take the stress off my my knees and let the muscles do the work. I am an experiment in the making! :thumb:
 
Bonnie -as I'm learning the hard way :hissyfit: - one step at a time. Go slow and steady and you'll be doing whatever you want in no time. Push too hard and you go backwards...You're amazing to be doing all that you are given all you've been through !
 
Bonnie, I have to admit that I love to cycle. I got my first bike--a full size one speed when I was 7 years old. I rode for hours and hours and loved the speed and the freedom. I got a 10 speed in college and began doing longer rides. so much fun, I love being in cycling groups/

Now, I have a carbon fiber 20 speed bike that weighs 15lbs. I can ride for hours---just me and my iPod. Some days I ride to Irish music and some days, i ride a little faster to cajun!! I think you will find many of the same feelings you get with running--while being a little easier on that knee.--but get a good bike, don't mess around with your college 10 speed!!!

My husband had a heart attack, then 5 bypasses, then a debfbrillator, etc. There has been a lot of caregiving on both our parts. I think an important part of caregiving is the care of the care giver---I used to go to a movie once a week. What a treat and it was so nice to relax. I bike ride in the evening when my husband is comfortable and he understands that the hour that I take is important to me. somehow just those small treats kept me going. Kelly
 
Hi Bonnie,

Thank you so much for giving me more perspective from the side of the caregiver! Pat told me the other night that it is not just me that hurts when I go through surgery. He told me that he hurts deeply to see me in pain, but is frustrated because he doesn't know how to help.

The story you have told between your husband and you has opened my eyes and I want to say Thank You!:friends:

May 4th will be here soon, and I hope we can both be better prepared for it this time.:wink1:
 
RestAssured said:
Hi Bonnie,

Thank you so much for giving me more perspective from the side of the caregiver! Pat told me the other night that it is not just me that hurts when I go through surgery. He told me that he hurts deeply to see me in pain, but is frustrated because he doesn't know how to help.

The story you have told between your husband and you has opened my eyes and I want to say Thank You!:friends:

May 4th will be here soon, and I hope we can both be better prepared for it this time.:wink1:
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Thank you so much Sonja for your kind words. It makes me feel good because it does validate my feelings. I have always heard that "the caregiver needs care" and now I can totally understand that.

Sometimes I feel like my mother, watching how she attended to my Dad's every need before he passed away. My Mom was out running and playing lots of tennis well into her late 70's and then she because a prisoner to the house taking care of my Dad who constantly had mini stokes and dementia. I had called my Mom recently (now 88 years old) and told her that I can understand what she was going through much better now.

Although my situation is not as severe as my Mom's was, my life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. At first I was sleep deprived and running on pure stress and emotion, just doing what I needed to do. Then Dave home now, all of a sudden my life did another 180 degree turn and now I am the caregiver. Before I can attend to any of my needs I have to make sure that his needs are met first. PLEASE, please don't think I am complaining...he has given me a wonderful life and the freedom to always do the things that I love to do. But sometimes I wonder if I am getting depressed, wonder how am I going to make it through this long day. Driving back and forth to doctor appts, taking (his) meds at different times of the morning, mid day and evening, making sure he eats, very slow walking in the grocery store, etc. I just get weary! So yesterday we went down to the park near my house and Dave walked with a cane and I ran circles around him literally. The park is a big loop like a figure 8 that measures 1.27 miles. As Dave walked one direction in the figure 8, I ran the opposite direction so I could always keep an eye on him and check on him every 1/4 mile or so. He wanted me to run, he said he'd be fine walking with his cane. So that we did and I felt a freedom like I have not felt in a very longtime.

I think back to some of the looks I caught on Dave's face after my TKR while I was laying on the couch being needy. I know now what he was feeling. He still loved me, he didn't resent me, but he was tired too. We do need to take a pause and think of our caregivers for they need care too! :doggieshmooze:
 
Bonnie, your words are right on the mark. My husband had a heart attack, five bypasses and then a "heart incident" and then got a defibrillator. then he had major back surgery.

We try to keep humor in our situation and even with this knee, Bob escapees for the part of the day to anywhere--the library, the grocery store. I know how he is feeling, so it is okay with me.

All of our married life has been about helping one another. I am an ADHD person who zips along and he is a very studied doctor type who plods along. Obviously, we are working to different internal drums!!! So, running while your husband walks with a cane seems like a great compromise to me as well.

the other thing I had to learn is that it is okay to ask for help. You can call one of his friends and ask if he will visit your husband while you run to the store. Or, if folks from your church want to stop by once a week, great.

I was so proud and so controlling that it was difficult for me to ask for any help and I really did exhaust myself. When I asked for help and saw how freely it was given, I was humbled and reminded that we do not need to go through life alone.

Bob and I have helped many others since then and when folks say, is there anything you need, I speak right up. I could use a dinner on Thursday since Bob has doctor appts all day---is that something you can do? Or, I have his friends visit on different days so that I can get out for an hour or so to the gym. Many of his friends are retired, so they are happy to help.

Yesterday, two of my friends came by and Bob took off right away---I don't blame him, in fact, I am happy he is caring for himself. Kelly
 
OMG I have not been here since April 29th! Everyday I wake up and say I have to get back to Bonesmart today, there are never enough hours in the day. Catching up and being caregiver takes a lot of time, life is slowly coming back to normal again, and when that happens I will be here like I want to, I have missed you all so much!

I want to wish all the Mom's a very Happy Mother's Day today, "It takes Someone really brave to be a mother, Someone strong to raise a child, and Someone special to love someone more than herself.....Happy Mothers Day to all you Mothers out there....."

I wanted to let you all know that I finally got to go on a group bike ride on Saturday morning the 5th of May. A beginner ride was taking place in my area, I turned to Dave and said, "Do you think I can go?" He told me to go, and enjoy myself!! Jake would be here with him until I got back. I went and had a wonder time just like roy and referee54 told me I would! I rode 21 miles with the group, I was not the slowest but certainly not the fastest either. I can't wait to do it again!!

Been having a bit a trouble with those darn tendons again the pes anserine but on Friday my OS called in a RX for Volteran Gel so I am hoping that will help settle the area down. He told me to slow down! For some reason the person who took the message told him that I was riding my bike 25 miles EVERYDAY! Not so...I take Dave down to the park to walk and I walk and run keeping my eye on him. He is doing much better and can now walk without the cane! Yay!!

Still sorting through all these medical bills, driving to doctor appts, going for blood work and work only two afternoons a week. Oh...I also am cooking again since Dave needs to gain 35 pounds! Not fair...I wish someone would tell me to gain 35 pounds, that would be no problem!!

Have a wonderful day all. I miss you and will be here as much as I can. xo
 
Bonnie, it's so wonderful to hear from you. Your post made me smile knowing that you have been back on a ride again. I'm thrilled with Dave's progress!! It's all that TLC you're providing!!! Hope to hear more from you in the coming weeks and months as your life settles. Happy Mother's Day!
 
Bonnie,
Thanks for the update, so glad to hear you and Dave are both doing better.
Happy Healing for both of you.
And a Happy Mothers day to you!
 
Hi Bonnie

Thankyou for the update and I'm so pleased your life has calmed down a little. Good wishes to you and Dave.
 
I wanted to let you all know that I finally got to go on a group bike ride on Saturday morning the 5th of May. A beginner ride .... I went and had a wonder time ... I rode 21 miles with the group, ... I can't wait to do it again!!
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Brilliant! Group riding with a good ride leader is terrific isn't it!

The best beginner's ones have, at the front, a strong leader who knows the way (!), and who has a loud, authoritative voice to stop people trying to 'tear it up'. They also have, at the back, someone even stronger to act as 'sweeper'. They check on anyone in trouble and can, if necessary, accelerate and ride to the front to tell the ride leader.
 
Roy Gardiner said:
Brilliant! Group riding with a good ride leader is terrific isn't it!

The best beginner's ones have, at the front, a strong leader who knows the way (!), and who has a loud, authoritative voice to stop people trying to 'tear it up'. They also have, at the back, someone even stronger to act as 'sweeper'. They check on anyone in trouble and can, if necessary, accelerate and ride to the front to tell the ride leader.
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Yep Roy, that is the way that it was! One person had a flat too, and the more experienced riders stopped and helped and they were back rolling in no time at all. For Mother's Day/Birthday that was missed I got a new Specialized PURPLE (love it) mountain bike. So now I can off road as well as on the road. Yesterday while Dave did his walking I was in the same park hoping on and off the trails riding on grass and dirt and getting a GREAT workout. So I will be doing long group rides on Saturday's and off road during the week, there are groups for that too, but I am not ready for that yet, just getting to know my new bike. We bought Dave a bike too, we will put it on my trainer and let him build strength in the house then one day when he is ready...go outside. Just like us with our TKR's we need to be ready.

I just wanted you to know about my ride because you were so encouraging to me. Maybe I can learn to love cycling so I won't miss running so much. But...I have run 12 miles in the last two weeks. Gotta do something while Dave is walking...guess that is why I got the new mountain bike!

Have a wonderful day everyone! It is my turn to go to the doctor today, an appointment I had to cancel back in February from the ICU. Just getting back to myself now...
 
RunA42K said:
I just wanted you to know about my ride because you were so encouraging to me. Maybe I can learn to love cycling so I won't miss running so much.
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Glad to be of service. Am I correct in saying you raced as a runner?

If so, you may find that time-trials on a bike provide a similar challenge (your local cycling club will be able to tell you about them and whether they run any) then when you're really fit, circuit racing (aka kermesses or criteriums) which combine being hard with being exciting too -- going round corners as fast as you can!
 
Roy Gardiner said:
Glad to be of service. Am I correct in saying you raced as a runner?

If so, you may find that time-trials on a bike provide a similar challenge (your local cycling club will be able to tell you about them and whether they run any) then when you're really fit, circuit racing (aka kermesses or criteriums) which combine being hard with being exciting too -- going round corners as fast as you can!
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I raced as a runner Roy, but not too seriously. Used to always race against myself to do better than my previous time. Mostly I just loved the way that running made me feel.

I've been on two 21 mile group rides now on my road bike. We averaged 14 MPH so I am not there yet! It scares me a little and I am afraid of traffic, like someone texting and driving and swerving into me...

Dave bought me a Specialized mountain bike for Mother's Day and I've started working a few 1/2 days a week now and I ride my mountain bike back and forth to work. I feel like cycling is really keeping the bend in my knee.

I've still had trouble with that darn tendonitis and the OS prescribed Volteran Gel, it seems to help.

Dave is coming along pretty well, he has his down days, feeling really exhausted but does PT twice a week and has gained from 147 to 154 now. He is 6ft tall. Everyday is a new day...

Everyone enjoy your day! :doggieshmooze:
 
Bonnie,
Great report, thanks for keeping us posted. Continued healing for Dave.
 
Quiet Memorial Day weekend for us. An inviting pool in the backyard but with Dave taking Coumadin and making his skin cut so easily that with a sizable slash on the side of his leg he got from a patio chair last weekend and just starting with Humira injections yesterday (which lowers your immune system), not a good idea to go in the water. The kids are off doing things with their friends this weekend, so just us two here. I guess a good day to go through all these medical bills. :sigh::sigh:

I rode with a group of 7 yesterday for 21 miles. When I begin my knee is always stiff but by the time the ride is 1/2 done it is bending great. Gotta stay active, but not too active and can't sit around either. :dancy:
 
My first time to log into the new format, although I think that I am going to like it, I am still trying to figure it out. Can someone please tell me how to get my knee 'K" icon back on there, it just shows a '?'

In 4 days I will be 15 months post op, I am still frustrated that my knee gets stiff and swells on the lateral side just above the knee cap. On the medial side of my knee , like right where that plate sits on top of the tibia but off to the left a bit, it is sore like a bruise in the bone. I can press on the area and it feels sore to the touch but I don't feel it unless I actually touch the area. It is the same area where I had gotten Pes Anserine tendonitis several times, but feels deeper.

Other than that me and husband are taking things one day at a time. With a few set backs he still is not able to return to work after more than 4 months. :)
 
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