THR Nana has Landed on the Other Side

[NanaMama]

And this was yesterdays:


Post Op Day 12: (Sunday) For the first time in 13 days, I put on make-up, jewelry, and shoes.... I was 'going to church' - Woot! I'd been looking forward to this first outing, as well as getting to see many of my friends - I was excited! Once again, "I had a plan"...

Dan: Are you going to shower?
Me: I planned on it..... but I'm rethinking.
Dan: ?
Me: What if the shower zaps me? (It's a bit of a 'One and Done for the Day' activity at this stage of recovery.)
Dan: That's true.
Me: Maybe I'll just wash my bangs again.

Freshly shampoo'd bangs can cover up a multitude of 'bad hair', given a tight ponytail and some hairspray.

I have found, however, there is a trick to washing one's bangs (post THR) if not "in the shower". (If you recall, the shower method is to expose only the bangs when donning your shower cap). The "out of shower" method (yes, my personal creation, not yet patented) is, while standing at the sink (kitchen or bathroom).... lean forward toward tepid running water, extending the surgical leg and hip 'up and backwards'. I have Dan standing by to give me a dab of shampoo to apply to my wet bangs - (rinse, repeat). I'm not much of an exercise guru... but I figured there must be some yoga name for this ingenious pose (bending past the waist without breaking the 90 degree rule) Done! A little hot hair curler and I was set (I forgot the hairspray). Oh... and the pose is called the Half Moon (I googled it).

Getting in/out of the car was pretty easy (Thank You YouTube) and although it took a couple minutes to get up as high as I wanted to sit in the sanctuary... it was worth it to have the extra leg room available in one row (about 5 rows from the top). I was able to stand through most of the music (♫ "Leaning on the Everlasting Crutch" ♫) and I appreciated the sermon "Why Suffering?" (Why Not?) At the mention of the Apostle Paul and his Thorn in the Flesh - I had the epiphany that perhaps his malady was osteoarthritis! It would make perfect sense... thorn = pain.... side = hip. We, of course will not know what it was on this side of Glory, but it certainly does make a girl (12 days post op) wonder.

I visited the handicap stall twice - with great trepidation the first time... I was safely seated, steadied with surgical leg extended, holding fast to the grab bar.... and I hardly tinkled. I must have been over- thinking it. Oh well. I tried again, after the service - taking along a buddy to stand outside and 'chat' with me.... success... I peed like a pro.

Bidding farewell to our church family, we made one stop at Aldi where I put 25 cents in the cart and took it for a ride like it was a skate board. Dan carried my crutch (I'm sure I saw people look at him sympathetically). When we got to the check-out I was done. It wasn't much past noon, but you could safely stick a fork in me.

It was a beautiful (though windy) day - with Sunshine, Jesus, Donuts and Fellowship. I pretty much declared the "rest" of the day.... for "rest".

Thank You for praying for me

 

[NanaMama]

Have you ever seen one of those "Confession Forums" where people anonymously say things they'd never speak aloud? (OK, so I haven't either .... but my daughter says there is one at the college she attends). Sometimes I look at Bonesmart as a bit of an "HA" (Healing Anonymous). We don't know (at least I don't) a great deal about one another's identities, names, locations (other than country/state) - We can share as much or as little about our personal life and family and our common bond is the sister/brotherhood of joint replacement. We come from all different directions and backgrounds to walk a similar path ... even if no two paths (recoveries) are 'alike'.... we can identify, encourage, EMPATHIZE (whereas others can 'sympathize' - we have the advantage of knowing firsthand) and that makes all the difference.

So that paragraph was just to say - on this forum, I've shared that 7 weeks ago today I lost my job of 44 years. With it, a great chunk of my identity, the deep (daily) friendships with my "co-worker family," the pride and satisfaction I took in keeping meticulous records. All gone. Now I'm having to apply for jobs in order to collect unemployment. Do you wonder what an HR person thinks when they get a resume from someone who has worked for ONE employer for 44 years and is applying to YOUR institution? I will be 65 in less than 10 mo. I'm also dealing with my former employer re: severance. (I should say with their attorney). Some days I am so overwhelmed I want to beat myself with my crutch.

When I share the FB posts I've made (to update many people who love and care for me and want to know about my recovery...) I do so "carefully" as there are way more of my FB friends who do not my job situation than those who do. I'm a strong proponent of "levity". When you can find humor or at least something to smile about in a situation - it lightens your load. That's what my FB posts are intended to do. If any of my B/S peeps get a smile from them, I'm delighted.... but I want you to know, when @Layla used the term "Fakebook" - I was convicted of my lack of authenticity. And it's not like FB won't ever know the 'truth whole truth' etc. but the timing is critical and 'now' is not the time. I realized the 'safety' I felt here when I mentioned to @Mireille about my divorce. I would not share any of that on FB (I wasn't even on FB when I got divorced) - but there is definitely an affinity we share here and I greatly appreciate it.

I wanted to preface my next "Update" from FB with this message.... because as much as I believe my emotions are somewhat raw from surgery, pain, etc. My grief is not entirely due to the loss of the top of my femur. Most of my FB friends were quick to sympathize with what I wrote ... sighting 'similar' feelings after surgery, anesthesia, etc. They don't know the depth of emotional pain and feelings of loss I'm dealing with.... :-(

I find I come to Bonesmart now, with as much eagerness and anticipation as I do FB (ok, except I am more eager/anxious to see pics of my grandkids). So this was a 'mask free post'. I've never intended to come across as Erma Bombeck - and I know it is ok to post a "no ha-ha'/'no pressure to make you smile message' - thank you Hippies for helping me to "keep it real" -

Love,
AnonyNanaMama

PS: Most of your posts make me laugh and smile too!

 

[SaraK]

Beautifully written AnonyNanaMama! I tend to be a very private person and am careful what I post on Facebook because you never know where that info can land (with ex, boss, coworkers, etc.). I try to keep my FB posting to a minimum and have a "no client or colleague" rule for friends. I feel much more comfortable posting here because of the anonymity as well as the bond we all share because we're all on the same journey, even if by different paths. Creates that "cone of silence."

 

[Layla]

NannaMamma, you are loved here!
I'm a fan, myself. Your posts here feel real to me.

There are some things best not shared on FB. I get it. Constipation recipes being one
Deeply personal issues another. Too may people have access to others FB accounts.
It feels invasive to me at times but that's the risk one takes in posting there.
Prayers everything falls into place for you in all areas of your life. I'm sorry you're suffering emotionally
over your job loss. There will be a silver lining somewhere. You are a person of faith, as am I, and we know who is ultimately in control.......and it's not us. There is a greater purpose here, it simply hasn't been revealed yet.

Hope your day is great!
@NanaMama

 

[NanaMama]

Post Op Day 13: (Monday) - Cue Karen Carpenter:

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

I woke up to rain yesterday... I actually like rain, but yesterday was Monday and I'm still dealing with post operative pain .... and try as I might, I can't say it was a "very good day" (like my granddaughters' daily report from daycare). Not that all my days are 'very good' mind you, nor need they be, I'm just trying to be authentic in reporting the facts.

Perhaps Monday was a let down after experiencing some 'normal' on Sunday, going to church and a store. Perhaps because I didn't see anyone yesterday except Dan *Dan is enough, I'm just grasping here*... Perhaps I have too much on my mind and I'm not feeling capable of dealing with it all.

So I cried. (OK... for those of you waiting for the funny part today... just scroll on by, 'come back tomorrow') Crying is OK. Being the researcher I am... I googled 'Crying after surgery' - I mean, it can't REALLY be because it's raining on Monday, can it?

I ran across a good article called "6 Scientific Reasons You Should Never Underestimate the Value of a Good Cry." It is filled with information about the toxins and chemicals that are released in tears. How crying reduces stress. It means you are "understanding your pain and forced to see and feel it". I loved the quote "Your body rocks in rhythm with your heart." Ever have one of those good old 'ugly cries' when your body does literally rock?

Although we often associate crying with physical pain (like a child with a boo boo) - the most cleansing tears are those in response to emotional pain or stress. They rinse our souls. Tears are a bodily function. One of the six reasons given in the article (the 4th in fact): "It's Why They Make Wine." OK... I guess this is the funny part of today's post: "The wine industry would be nothing without tears, much like penicillin without syphilis. It's the trigger and the medicine." They suggest if you are "about to burst" but can't get tears out.... to get a bottle of red wine... the tears will flow "long after the Cabernet ends". I would sooner suggest watching Marley and Me or Terms of Endearment. (Or pull out a nose hair...) Any of the above would be far easier than simply having major surgery.

In the end... (be it the end of a rainy Monday, a box of tissues, or a good cry) you need to realize the 'release' provided by your tears, refreshes and renews you for the day (or hour) ahead. I actually read screaming has a similar effect ... but I live in town, I'd best stick with the tears. So once again my friends... I thank you for thinking about me and for praying that my body, heart and soul will continue their healing process.

Here's to a terrific Tuesday

 

[Mireille]

@NanaMama You made me cry! I do love ALL your posts and find something special about you. I think that the "anonymity" here makes me feel safer about sharing extremely personal feelings and emotions. There is no judgment, there's empathy and understanding. For my part, I do genuinely care about my bonesmart friends and include them in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your stories with me as they bring a smile to my face!

 

[Hippielife]

NanaMoma... you are a amazing at describing your experiences with humor and the experience of a newbie.

I am going to nominate you for the BEST “humor newbie “ THR story and BEST ”picture award.” That at least is worth 5 stars and a award winning 99.9% thumbs up and a big chocolate candy bar! Chocolate fixes everything ! Protein shakes with minerals and vitamins always helped. They gave me two a-day in the hospital and rehab helps get energy and get up walk around more help the system moving... if ya get my drift...poop emoji here! Along with all the other stimulation tequired till I finally gave in and used adult diapers. Much easier at first cant get there fast enough.

Your getting started with the healing and it’s a full time job. Take in as much help and rest as you can. I wore pressure boots from amazon and iced like crazy. I used muscle relaxer cream with hot peppers can’t remember the name...it’s the best just wash your hands after using. Also took all my meds on schedule don’t wait for the pain ..it really helped. Sleep is a healer too!
Now your gonna have a lot to look foreword this summer!

 

[Jackie222]

I’m a firm believer in the benefits of having a good cry. It really helps to get all the emotions out and allows you to move forward with a clearer head. You’re still in the very early days of your recovery, don’t expect too much from your body. Keep up with the pain meds and rest, elevate and ice.

 

[hipster333]

@Hippielife I second your nominations! @NanaMama you are a source of joy to us and I'm sure to everyone around you. I wish I was there to give you a big hug. This healing journey is not easy and I've shed so many tears and thrown so many pity parties--I'm just happy we're taking this journey together. As for anonymity--there is so much to be said about that! Most of my friends don't even know I had to keep going to the hospital last weekend--let alone that the end result was constipation (thank God I didn't posted the visits on Facebook--would not want to admit the outcome--it was hard enough and embarrassing enough admit here ). You've had a huge blow on top of everything with your job loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know that with your heart and your wit there is something amazing waiting for you.

 

[Bevlah]

@NanaMama whilst I am so sorry you have lost your job this is your opportunity to write!!!!! You have a talent that should not just be shared with us. Use your time to get as much writing don't and spread the word. One door has closed but you now have time to do what you were born to do! Go nanamamma I will buy anything that you write!

 

[Bevlah]

@NanaMama I have cried alot and bawled last night and most of today!! Like you say we on bone smart empathise and you can tell everyone on here you cried and nobody says chin up! Sending you the biggest, sloppiest and warmest virtual hug. Your posts don't always need to be funny. They are just so interesting to read

 

[AJinNH]

That’s a great story @NanaMama, Ginger sounds like a prize. You reminded me of our golden retriever, Brinkley, who we loved dearly and also knew how to assert himself and act out whenever we would come home from a trip. Just like having a toddler temper tantrum

 

[NanaMama]

To all of you, my Hip Sistas.... Seeing your messages this morning and all the little ratings (I don't totally get the whole site yet... but they cheer me) was a great encouragement.

Any of you ever watch Touched by an Angel? (It was one of my most FAV shows ever... in fact, I colored my hair auburn, back in the 90's to look like Monica... don't judge) - Anyway there was an awesome episode where Monica was "losing her faith" and Mandy Patinkin guest stars. He (Satan) comes to tempt Monica and the whole episode is filled with symbolism... he appears in "white" then in "black".... back to "white", etc. I can't remember the entire plot - but I'll never forget that "light bulb" moment at the end (You know... when Monica glows like a Christmas Tree?). She is talking to someone and says "Do you know what Satan's greatest tool is?" .... DISCOURAGEMENT. O.My.Gravy - Spot on. I can't tell you how long ago I saw that episode, but I will never forget that line ... and it has majorly changed how I evaluate circumstances.

Life situations (and yes, physical pain) can change our perspective and we lapse into Discouragement, maybe listening to the voices of Evil (or sometimes, our own voice, putting ourselves down). A kind word from someone may be all it takes to lift another out of The Pit. No matter how they got there.... Encouragement may be the hand to help them out. Here's to keeping it real and lovin' on one another. Below is what I posted yesterday - pretty generic but Progress!
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Post Op Day 14: (Tuesday) Today marked 2 weeks since my THR. It's kind of a big deal. I've gone from having a log-leg, bandaged hip, walker, pain pills, and compression cuffs, to being able to lift both legs at the same time, steri-strips, a single crutch, Tylenol and only TED hose. I've progressed to unsupervised showers. I've melted a lot of ice against my aching thigh and enjoyed many visitors, messages and get well wishes.

I've not watched nearly as much TV as I expected to - but napped more than I thought possible. I've treated my new hip like a newborn, with much of the same fear that I was going to "do something" to hurt it. New hips, like babies - don't break... It's just a matter of being careful with them. I've gone through a gamut of emotions, except for regret. I'm certainly not sorry I had the surgery or to have it behind me. I don't necessarily feel I'm improving every single day, but I know I am improving every week.

As I set out on week 3 of recovery, (and beyond) I look forward to Spring, nice weather, and walking outside. I still experience some pain as I walk (especially when the Tylenol is wearing off, or I'm without the crutch for a few steps) but there's also a pain that is missing and it's one I had become all too familiar with the past six months. It had taken a toll on my life and now ever so slowly, but ever so steadily, I'm moving toward taking my life back. Thank You "Freezer to Fork" for the yummy chicken pot pie last night. And Thank You to all of you, who pray for me/us each day!

 

[AJinNH]

Just getting to all of your other posts @NanaMama , I went from laughing to crying with you. Thanks for all of it, including the recipes. I bookmarked your post about crying as I’m sure it will help me a time or two.
It does feel safe posting here, I’m mostly a lurker on FB.
Sending you some hugs. Thanks for being real.

 

[BeBe]

@NanaMama Thank you for your posts. Really!
I so enjoy how you laugh, explain, motivate and cry through your words.
Please entertain thoughts of a new career for yourself that uses your gifts and talents through writing.
If you can write this well coming off major surgery I can't wait to see what you could come up with feeling 100% again!!
Hoping you continue to improve and gain strength everyday!

 

[SaraK]

I seriously think you should consider a self-published e-book and try to get Amazon to pick it up. Just take your Facebook postings and add an introduction! You could, if you wanted, add in some edited information from your thread here to give more of the "unvarnished truth."

I bought a book that was about someone's Superpath THR experience only to find it was not well written and didn't have a lot of useful information. You'd be surprised how many people would recommend a book that gives more information about what it's like on a day-to-day basis with a bit of humor thrown in!

 

[Layla]

Hi @NanaMama
Agree with all the rest! I think you know what
your next career move should be. Give that some serious thought...
Hope you're doing well and that your weekend is great!

PS I'm back here for the third time to direct someone to your post on constipation recipes
Post # 38....I think I finally have it in my memory bank!

 

[Bevlah]

@NanaMama hope you're ok today lovey and the blues have gone for now. I just wanted you to know that I read your posts out to my partner in bed who also agrees that you're next career has to be writing. Looking at your bs replies we all feel the same. Sending weekend hugs to you

 

[AJinNH]

Hi @NanaMama look at how many followers you already have for your new writing career!
You should start a blog. Seriously. We'd all be there, instant fans.

 

[NanaMama]

Post Op Day 15 (Wednesday): I like making my 'post op' entry the 'day after' rather than 'in the midst of' what's going on (the exception being that 911 post I made on Day 3 asking for prayer, after puking for 20 hours) Sometimes, posting the next day gives me a better perspective of what has been, instead of 'what is.'

Perspective is an interesting thing. Depending on the angle you are coming from, my Updates can be viewed as a "Progress Report" .... or a "Way to Pray" (my frequent prayers for FB friends are often based on their posts) .... or maybe even "Informational" (should you be contemplating hip surgery yourself). For me, they are to add levity to what has become a rather ho-hum existence and I'm looking forward to the next "however many years" when these posts will pop up on my FB "Memories" and I'll be reminded that I am an Overcomer!

SO ... yesterday was another solo shower day (Friend on stand-by... "Code Yellow"). No Press n Seal on the incision anymore, so the steri-strips are beginning to fall off. I washed my bangs and took note of what appeared to be a bruised toenail. I mean... it looks a little like I smashed it in a car door... but I didn't. Upon closer examination... I see it is the 'X" the nurse put on my toenail (with permanent marker) before surgery. They, of course, wanted to replace the correct hip... and everyone knows the toenail's connected to the foot bone, the foot bone's connected to the ankle bone....(ie: Leg, Knee, Thigh & HIP). ♫ O hear the Word of the Lord ♫

As I dried off and made my way to the bedroom, I texted my friend "Code Green" and proceeded to 'dress'. This is probably the part of recovery seldom discussed. Pre-Op appointments talk about medication, restrictions, PT exercises... but there's not a lot of talk (much less demonstrations) on getting dressed. Remember... we don't want to break the 90 degree angle between the hip bone (thigh, pelvis.... whichever of "dem bones, dem bones" my femur and titanium hip are attached to).

Rather than lament what I 'can't do' - I'm just going to tell you what I "do" do. I take a pair of clean underwears (that's what my 4 yo grandson calls his underpants, and it totally cracks me up). I lay them on the floor. While sitting on the edge of the bed, I put my left (good side) foot into the leg hole... and then, snagging the waist band with the hook of a plastic clothes hanger, i pull the underwears up toward me... placing my (bad side) foot into the right leg hole. I continue the upward pull with the clothes hanger until I can take hold of the waistband with both hands and complete the mission. "Ta-dah" 90 degree rule - total compliance.

The jeans are a similar scenario and in a way even easier, as I can snag a belt loop and gain even better leverage. Yes - THR recovery is a mixed bag of following orders, commons sense and yes... problem solving.

The rest of my Wednesday included lunch brought in by my oldest son, a visit with a young friend... Life Group (with my aged friends) and the rest the evening with my best friend. As I note the beginning of my 3rd week of recovery - i want to always and again thank each of you for your prayers. However you direct them... God knows exactly how to apply them, to my heart and soul... to my body and and to my life situations

May God Bless!