TKR Left TKR Recovery---Now I Have a Matching Set

[selketine]

I celebrated this year by giving myself another new knee for a matching set.

Happy Belated Birthday!! A new knee! Just think what that surgery $$$$$$$ would have bought at Tiffanys!
I'm glad to hear you had a wonderful day!

 

[JDinCT]

Firs of all.... Happy Birthday Rockgirl!!

Sounds like you have a very full life aside from TKRs. I recall having a similar stretch of life about 20 years ago when I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other, got divorced, severed ties (in a bad way) with a mentor and best friend of 20 years, and a few other things I won't get into... all over a 5-year period.

But we find a way to persevere and move on/forward.

Anyway... sounds like you need to kick that bike to the curb.....

My mom taught me a very simple lesson early in my life when faced with difficult decisions, she would put her hands out to the side like a scale and tell me to weigh the positives and negatives and when the negatives outweigh the positives, you have your decision. Sounds like the negatives are outweighing the positives on the bike therapy.

I again wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and all the best going forward in your recovery!

 

[sistersinhim]

I will add my "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" to your day. Your husband sounds like a dream come true. I wish we all could be, or have been, as blessed!

 

[Layla]

A belated Happy Birthday! Hubs sounds like a keeper!

 

[Rockgirl4]

Today was a bit of a pity party. It's Day 16 after TKR #2, and I felt like I was battling time, like my body needs to hurry up. Anyone who says this surgery isn't mental warfare should consider themselves lucky.

This came about because the morning wake-up was extra bad with the liquid-fire feeling shooting down my leg. It's daily and will be for weeks to come, I know. It makes me want to stay up forever so I don't have to face the pain every day. I don't try sleeping in--I sleep 4-5 hrs in bed AT MOST, then I get up to distract myself with my nest on the couch---phone, laptop (forums), email, checkbook, Kindle, etc. Naps on the couch are never bad, probably because they're shorter.

So I was home by myself most of the day, and people keep texting/calling asking how I'm doing. I love my mother-in-law to death, but I get the same text at 9:05 every day: "Is today better yet?.... Oh! Sorry.... Maybe tomorrow!" I just always hate having to say no, no change, same ole same ole---many times a day. Again, I know how this sounds, & I am thrilled I have people who care!!! It just messes with my head.

I talked it out with my husband tonight, saying I'm talking a big talk about not letting anyone force me what to do when I see the surgeon on 10/21. Yet in my head, I'm having mental sparring matches that I anticipate are coming soon. I keep saying there will be no PT, no pushing/forcing, no braces, no MUA talk, no guilt, and I will stick to my guns. But I'm stressed because I shouldn't have to have a conversation about any of it. I have zero faith though that it will be a simple appointment with no blame/guilt or threats tossed at me--and I can't get past this fear of what the conversation WILL look like. So yeah, if my knee would hurry up and swell LESS, I could let go of this. Time is never my friend though, and my body never just hops on board the correct time machine.

Shawn gave me the usual pep talk----no one can make me do anything, go anywhere, have any procedure, etc. He and the family are not going to gang up on me and tell me what to do with my body. It's my body, my decisions, and I have the most data/experience to know how my knee will behave anyway. I know most of this comes from 2015-2016 and the MACI physical therapy torture some of you have read about many times. I have no problem admitting I have severe control issues with certain circumstances (not people).....and the years of "PT-PTSD" have just made it 10X worse now.

Physical circumstances are the times it takes the biggest toll, especially when there's a question of whether I did my part or followed instructions, etc. My therapist asked me to check in with her weekly about this, and I didn't the last 2 weeks. I'm fixing that tonight when I email her for a telehealth appointment ASAP. I know I need to get ahead of it because it's safe to say I've already let it grab me and take hold.

 

[mendogal]

I'm glad you made a telehealth appt.

A lot of anxiety is over the ortho appointment, and you're already really clear on the needs and priorities of mind and body. And you already know what the suggestions will include.

I can relate to going down a rabbit hole of living entire future difficult conversations/arguments in my head in an attempt to reduce anxiety, only to have it become obsessive and a source of escalating anxiety.

Yet in real life I find it's possible to refuse to emotionally engage with others' unproductive demands by having some neutral stock phrases prepared ("it's just not possible" is the extreme one of them: third party passive tense, no excuses, apologies, or justifications offered. It shuts things down if all else fails).

So it strikes me that it might be helpful to develop and rehearse a script with Shawn or your therapist that you can revert to. Simple declaritives, even if they are all you say over and over. Some that come to mind might be

"we already know that doesn't work for me"

"the problem is inflammation and we've learned that forcing won't fix that"

 

[Toothfairy]

Sorry you are having such a rough time @Rockgirl4 You know your body best and know what works and what doesn’t work for you. You are right to be firm about what you will and won’t do.

 

[selketine]

I'm sorry that all of this is weighing you down. You are 8 days behind me in recovery and - you have other health issues than I do of course - but it would be a miracle to feel good at this point. I think, it's really a recovery of ups and downs. I know I felt awful on Friday - better yesterday - no reason for it. I'm sure you know this but there's no way at 16 days post-op you're going to feel better - it's still the "grind" time of recovery.

There's a lot of this recovery that you don't have control over. The medical community is all over the place with recovery recommendations for PT, how long to take pain meds, when to start doing what, etc. I'm not sure there is any other common surgery that has so much lack of consensus on how to approach recovery....much less for people with additional health conditions that impact recovery. It's not you - the amount of misinformation out there - the whole thing is just nuts.

 

[EalingGran]

Agree that the

It's not you - the amount of misinformation out there - the whole thing is just nuts.

I have a lovely surgeon who explained things well- but he raised his eyebrows at some of the things the hospital physio said like dire warnings of sleeping with the leg straight etc.
I got anxious about visits though. It is easy to think something will go wrong and you will miss something/ say the wrong thing etc etc.
I found writing down the main points I wanted covered helped me to feel more confident.
You know your own body better than anyone. Good luck!

 

[benne68]

I get the same text at 9:05 every day: "Is today better yet?.... Oh! Sorry.... Maybe tomorrow!" I just always hate having to say no, no change, same ole same ole---many times a day.

I can relate to this. My sister and a dear friend both did the same thing -- daily -- during the early days of my hip recovery. I finally came up with two different answers that made it feel less negative: "Yes, I'm improving by millimeters, but I'm improving" and "I'm right where I should be." Since both answers were true so wasn't I was lying to make them feel better. But, if hearing that answer a few times. they stopped asking daily!

Glad to read that you will be checking in with your therapist. This recovery is tough and it's so important to have a professional sounding board when we get down. Sending hugs

 

[Rockgirl4]

So it strikes me that it might be helpful to develop and rehearse a script with Shawn or your therapist that you can revert to. Simple declaritives, even if they are all you say over and over. Some that come to mind might be

"we already know that doesn't work for me"

"the problem is inflammation and we've learned that forcing won't fix that"

@mendogal This is a wonderful idea, and I like BOTH of these. I own no one any explanations!! Shawn looked over my email to the surgeon/PA earlier. I tend to give way too many details, where one can get lost in them, so he acted as my 2nd set of eyes.

 

[Rockgirl4]

@benne68 I had my usual 9:05 AM text waiting for me this morning. She didn't have much to say after I responded with the "The usual. Nothing to report really." We made a bit of small talk after that.

@EalingGran This time I definitely plan to take my list of questions with me, as the meds make me distractible when I get nervous. I keeping it simple and to the point, leading with the inflammation and asking which medication we can to help improve things.

 

[Rockgirl4]

@selketine Thanks for the reminder at how the medical community has no consensus on best practices for rehabilitation post-TKR. It amazes me that such a popular procedure still has recovery protocols all over the place. I often feel like it's the "wild west" of PT's. I also appreciate the perspective that it's only been 16-17 days...ways too early to be worrying about anything right now. I've always had my mind speeding off into the future, prepping for conversations which may never happen or play out as expected. I agree it's a major hallmark of anxiety.

I'm going to try and get a normal night's sleep tonight. My neighbor is a dear friend and the big sister I always wanted. She's showing up at 8 AM to clean my floors. She knows the best birthday present for ME was having someone spend 2 hours cleaning my hardwood floors plus vacuuming the bedrooms. She offered out of the blue last Thursday, and since we have 2 cats who shed like woolly mammoths, I say YES!!!! .She MIGHT even grab brunch/lunch later, depending on the schedule.

I have to add this though----most of us would just LOVE the idea of not having to clean everything right now, right? My husband barely has time to sleep, let alone clean one more thing. Well, he also has his own odd stuff that cause anxiety, and one of them is personal boundaries. He couldn't handle the thought of her seeing our "still clean from last weekend" bathrooms or helping me change our bed sheets....so he did those things today in between other chores. I didn't say a word, as he accept my quirks in kind. We're neat-freaks and clean constantly, so she's probably going to be bored herself after just doing my floors. It will be fun though.

I hope everyone gets a decent night of sleep.

 

[Rockgirl4]

Has anyone else experienced vivid and sometimes bad dreams from Tramadol? I have no desire to sleep most nights, as I keep waking up with odd dreams and often-times all out scary dreams. Last night was a repeat of the same. It's weird because Oxycodone and Hydrocodone haven't ever done this in 25 years of taking them so I can only blame it on the Tramadol. It's no big deal in the grand scheme of things, especially considering everything going on in the world----but I do miss my sleep!!

 

[mendogal]

I haven't ever used Tramadol; however, from personal and professional experience, each individual combination of (a person) + (a med that can effect the nervous system) = a possibility of this.

 

[selketine]

sometimes bad dreams from Tramadol?

I used tramadol sometimes pre-surgery for the terrible pain I was in (usually taking just one a day which isn't much) and trying to work full time. I just wanted to note that I felt like it make me more awake if anything... instead of more sleepy - and I don't feel either from other pain meds - but if anything more towards the sleepy side.

I see people say they take tramadol at night and I've just avoided it in the evening cause I thought it might affect my sleep. Sounds like it is keeping you from getting into a deep sleep and so your dreams are more memorable. Just wondering if you have the option to take something else at night and save the tramadol for the day?

 

[luvcats]

Happy Belated Birthday! I'm glad you got to have a nice day, knee not withstanding.

I don't get weird dreams from tramadol, but tramadol is known to have a significant effect on serotonin levels, and your serotonin levels can definitely affect your dreams. I get a very nice antidepressant lift from it. Might be worth googling the next night you're up avoiding nightmares. It might definitely be worth reporting to your doctor if you're avoiding necessary meds due to nightmares. Maybe there is another drug at the same level that would work instead.

So I was home by myself most of the day, and people keep texting/calling asking how I'm doing. I love my mother-in-law to death, but I get the same text at 9:05 every day: "Is today better yet?.... Oh! Sorry.... Maybe tomorrow!" I just always hate having to say no, no change, same ole same ole---many times a day. Again, I know how this sounds, & I am thrilled I have people who care!!! It just messes with my head.

I can really relate to this. When I was in the hospital recently, I had a lot of very lovely, loving people who regularly checked in with me to see how it was going. And when I got down about having to stay in the hospital over the weekend and on until Tuesday and exhausted because sleeping in hospitals isn't allowed, I was really down and all I could do was avoid thinking about it by reading and hiding in a book or a video.

So I submit to you, even though they are people who love you, you don't have to respond.

If you feel you must, send them a gif or an emoji. Something standard that does not require your emotional energy.
Healing is exhausting. All of your emotional energy needs to be hoarded for yourself, and carefully shared with your fabulous husband and son. You don't have to feel guilty if you have none left over for anyone else. It's in short supply!

 

[Layla]

If you feel you must, send them a gif or an emoji. Something standard that does not require your emotional energy.

What a great idea from luvcauts! You can load up an arsenal of them for those loved ones "just checking in". Given your sense of humor, I'm certain you can find many that will give them a chuckle and alleviate you of repeating, "same ole, same ole."
I hope today is a good day, Rockgirl!

 

[Rockgirl4]

I decided to try something new last night and finally got a good night's sleep--Nothing fancy or complicated, I just slept on the couch! I went to sleep at 3 AM and slept until 11:15 AM, with only 2 quick bathroom breaks. It was downright wonderful.

I'd spent my first TKR mostly on the couch in 2019. My husband wanted me to avoid it this time, if possible. This house is much more spread out, and he wanted to hear if I needed something at night. I was dreading going to bed every night though, between the maneuvering to get into bed, adjusting my Lounge Dr., dealing with the cats, and trying not to wake him up.

The couch was fast, efficient, and nothing had to be moved from room to room. I used a white noise app on my phone, hoping it would be peaceful enough to stop the bad dreams I was having constantly thanks to my new buddy "Tramadol". Either I was exhausted from sleeping so little the last week or it worked wonderfully. We will see what tonight brings.

 

[Rockgirl4]

So I removed my Prineo dressing yesterday, and the nerve pain/zingers/itching/burning went from a 5 to a 9 within 30-45 minutes. I knew I would be more sensitive near the incision, but WOW!! When they say every knee is different, even on the same body, this is a good example. I mostly had nerve pain above the knee on my rjght TKR in 2019. This TKR on the left has been all about the lower leg--mostly right below the incision. Even the edges of my ice machine cuff drive it crazy some days.