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TKR Lavender's getting a new left knee for Christmas

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Oh how nice to see my brother and how lucky I am . He wanted to talk about my surgery day and has told me he is coming to pick us up the morning of surgery to get us to the hospital . I told him it is going to be very early in the morning have to leave home before 5:30 am and do not want him having to rush as he will be working that day by 8:00 and that we had planned to get a cab but appreciate his help. He is planning to come for us he wants to and then said after he gets off work he is coming back to the hospital to see if my husband is ready to go home and then help to pick up whatever will be needed. Not wanting to rush him around but he really wants to and he helped last time as well only one that I can count on with family as he is my closest brother. My husband was telling him how much he knew that this brother was so important to me. My brother has very sore knees to and with the amount of time spent working on the cars he is doing body work on for people after he works is making them even sorer.

He was looking tired today he has been doing extra work to help pay for his motorcycle and hope he is going home now to relax. He said that he can see my Mom is finding it different without us others are doing things but he told her that in the family she had safety with me he told her that I would not have let anything happen to her as at one point talk to take her out of her house into a home. With the help we gave she was protected but now not so much as she will have to take care of this change and fight for herself. he told her that when we were together she would have been safe I would have stopped my brother from doing this but now he said she looked worried. He told her that when things were happening to my Dad I was the only one that tried to help and that she should have appreciate the love she was getting from me but now he said it is time for my husband and I to have a chance for our lives take care of our health and how much he told her she has lost with the way she treated us both .

My Dad a hard time before my brother asked if I would do Dads pills my sister in law is very aggressive and he was very uncomfortable with her when I was called by her one night I told her she needed to back away a bit and now that my Mom no longer sees me she has moved in on things. she told me she needed money back then and was hoping someone would leave her some my brother told my Mom that sister in law is only waiting to see what she can get from all of it. She asked for things from my Mom that my Gram left me and some of the things have been taken home by her not worried nothing is worth that .

Knowing things are better this way now and she is the one that has lost so much as she lost her daughter who only wanted to help. He called my brothers cowards and said that he hoped she would not be waiting for them to help as they will stand back and let it all happen. Happy to be away from it letting them fight it out not wanting anything the line will be long and whatever was left for me can be taken by whoever wants it have enough of my own and my husband and brother nothing else matters. Loving the brother that came today he strong and kind and has a heart that cannot be swayed by things dangled in front of him thankful for his closeness When my Dad died there was no funeral or visitation he did not want a funeral we did not gather as a family life just went on .

She mentioned one day about things from my Gram and I told her unless they were put on paper as to her wishes it would be difficult as a few of my sister in laws had asked her for some of them earlier on and she did not know how to tell them they were left to me. I told her that I would not come into the house if anything happened to her and deal with them so if she decided to do it and give the stuff away it would be how it would be .

I told her quite a while ago when things started to tell me what she wanted that I I would not be lining up to take things when someone dies this should not happen as not willing to fight my way along with sister in laws that do not understand they need to be respectful of things and not push their way in. would be busy grieving not planning on what I could get out of it. Families change mine did but not caring now as my life is with my husband and that is all that matters and my brother is still here. Happy to be out of the turmoil. Material things are not that important but people are and people matter more then the things they have. Holly
 
Hi @lavender

Oh Holly,

I have sat here and read the whole of your posts about your mom. It's so very sad. Unfortunately this can happen so often in families. Despite everything, you still have love in your heart for your mom, even though you do not like the person she's become. She's still your mom, she gave birth to you, that can never be taken away, although she seems to have estranged herself x that in itself is quite worrying.

My father in law can be like this but he has severe mental health issues. He will say some dreadful things sometimes to his kids. He believes everybody is against him. He was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic in the 1960's when he was admitted to a psychiatric unit after having a nervous breakdown. He gets upset very easily and falls out with people at the drop of a hat. He says he sees no one, yet you find out someone has visited. He complains of being lonely and no one visiting but he pushes people away or will often ignore them when they visit. It's very difficult. People do not want to return to visit if they're being ignored.

You have a fabulous relationship with your husband and brother, I'm so pleased about that. Your dad had got a very kind and gentle face and looked happy. That picture must bring you a lot of comfort I'm sure. I'm certain that he's watching over you and keeping you safe. You are a lovely, caring and gentle person, with a big heart.

All my love to you
Love Ann xxx
 
Hi @Nana moon 27 Hi Ann and thanking so much for your kindness it means a lot. I still love her she is my Mom but do not understand her anymore. It seemed the more you tried the more she did to hurt so happy to see my brother today very much enjoyed our visit together. I am so so lucky and try not to loose sight of the fact that I have so much to be thankful so fortunate to have had my Dad and knowing he is no longer struggling and no longer in pain but still miss him so much. My sister in law has lost contact with some of her family as she caused problems with them. Her Mom when I saw her was always nice to me and my husband but said she was not comfortable with her own daughter as she was trying to take her house away from her not sure what happened with this but know she was very upset and started to look for places to move her Mom to her Mom had her own home and did not want to go.

Used to talk to my Mom so much on the phone at one time we called each other each morning to arrange her appointments for the day and she never had to worry about how she would get out and manage what she needed to do. When something happened always called to tell her she called me to but no longer she has changed so much she no longer trusts people or at least trusts the wrong people. Have a hard time understanding what caused her to do this to me as on the day she told me how she felt just before that she told me that my husband and I were important to the family and then when we took her home she told me I was to blame never knew what to expect but still value the time we had when things were good and happy at that time to have had the chance to help.

Getting on with things looking forward to surgery date is coming closer. My husband is great and always supportive he is very patient and we are very close and so much he did that he deserved more kind treatment from her. My brother is my second youngest brother he is wonderful to have always been very close and he is the one that will take care of our things when the time comes he is trusted to do the right thing and so lucky to have stayed so close to him know we always will be close.

Again nice to receive your post so very much and hope you and your knee are having an easier time. Nice to have had a chance to chat with you and happy you are not leaving you are a very nice woman and know you have a really big heart. Just watch the Santa Claus parade on television not ours it is next weekend but one from another city nearby makes you feel very nice and like getting your tree up.

Tonight we are watching television and one show we like is "Once upon a time" so relaxing with my cross stitch eating raspberries and tomorrow we will start watching our Christmas dvd need to start early to fit them in hoping to see some before it gets too busy.

Wishing you a great nights sleep and a wonderful week and feeling so nice tonight as this has been a really nice day. Holly
 
Holly,
Thank you for your post about the Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls, they have a lot of meaning for me. I am going to have to get them out and display them when we get them to the house.
I am sorry to hear of the difficulty with your family, it hard when there are rifts.
Your surgery date is coming up fast.
 
Hi @Pumpkln Happy you have your Moms Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls they are one of the cuddliest dolls every and wonderful to hold and hug they were one of the most favorite thing that I have made. Give them a big hug they are great to hug and makes you feel so nice. Hoping you are doing alright and things are a little easier and knowing your Mom will be with you and that your dolls will be in a special place when you bring them home. Still thinking maybe I will start a few dolls cut out extra bodies when making the dolls last Christmas and think I have a few faces embroidered so already started.

They always made me Christmasy such bright little faces and such happy dolls so soft. I have some nice prints that I bought for their dresses and a few my Mom bought back then for me to . White cotton for their aprons and panties and wool that is just the right color for their hair and then not to forget the striped knit fabric that was purchased so many years ago still new lots left that my Dad encouraged me to buy so much of when we went to a fabric mill he knew it would be used and come in handy one day and it has. so think might be really nice to sew a few . I found a large bag of fiberfill stuffing at Walmart just before making the Christmas dolls so lots there to make more. I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to find someone little when I was in the hospital even a new little baby who might be spending Christmas like me in the hospital and give them one of my dolls just something that would make me feel so nice.

Going to see how it goes hoping to have enough time before appointments which will start soon and see how much I can get done making a few more not as quick as I was at making them now as I was before but maybe going to give it a go. Wishing you the best and thanking you for you wonderful post @Pumpkln nice to see you like Annie and Andy dolls to. Holly
 
@Nana moon 27 and all of the wonderful friends I have on bonesmart.

Hi Ann love your Raggedy Ann and Andy picture just love these dolls made so many of them during my highschool years and then after when I started to work they became part of me. Such beautifully happy cheerful little dolls and so perfect in a little child's arms. and a big kids arms to.

My middle name is Ann and like yours it is spelled without the e at the end some people spell theirs with. I think it is neat that you have a brother Andy and you are just like the dolls with your names together. We are alike in another way to as like you I did not have any sisters 4 brothers no sisters liked it that way my brothers were the best . Never knew that maybe would like to have a sister never wanted it any other way until they started to get married and then gained sister in laws some who liked things to go their way so then wished I had a sister to stick close to.

I found a pattern for my first try at a doll in a British magazine my Mom had Women's weekly it came with a fold out pattern for a Victorian doll she had a dust cap and a full dress with a wide ruffle on the bottom. She wore a ruffled pinafore with a ruffle on the bottom to and a set of panaloons. and a slip with ruffles sewn on she was lovely found pretty material in a store downtown it was an old fashioned store wooden floors with a creak in them loved this store. Big glass display cases looked like something out of the days long long ago. Like something out of a Dickens movie. They had rolls and rolls of lace all types, very reasonable bolts upon bolts of lovely tiny prints very tidy very out of the past love things from this time feel at home with them.

I worked part time at our Credit bureau just a young girl so with my babysitting and my little bit of pay I shopped for materials to build this beautiful doll in the book.

My Gram saw her when she was all sewn my Dad was so proud he was always proud of what we did. So my Gram when shopping one day on her lunch at a gift shop mentioned that her Grand daughter had made a doll she knew the woman in the store and the lady asked her if I would like to bring her in and let her see her. Never did I expect my little doll sewing project would end up in the making of so many more was not what I planned but enjoyed making them and imagining the little faces on the little ones who would hug and love them.

It was the year that the Raggedy Anne doll patterns were released my Mom thought it would be nice for me to have a pattern and with making the first doll knew I would have a go at it. This was so much more involved but loved watching her come together and then more orders I now as a young girl had my own doll business many hours of sewing and it was at the store that I bought my first doll supplies that I purchased my first sewing machine they were having a truck load sale so with encouragement from my Dad I went and look and brought my singer white machine home now my Mom could sew on hers as she had told me that I could use it for my sewing.

They are part of Christmas in my mind so much love in their faces soft bodies and looking last night noticed I have a few bodies and clothes cut out so now as a part of tradition going to try to fit in a sewing time to make a few dolls hoping to get time but going to do it anyway .

My husband and I wanted kids tried but no babies doctor back at that time said I had miscarried very early in my pregnancy heartbroken tried to adopt and passed with high rating with our references had a woman sent to do evaluations home study to see how suitable we would be passed went to a meeting about international adoptions and spoke to a lawyer for advice she talked to us about the things we needed to be aware of and the chance that after going through the process things could still fall through. Advised about other options as well tried it was hard but tried and still no little one so we made our lives together and being so close together decided that we could be part of others little one my brothers had babies at this time and a lady that I worked with told me one day maybe we were meant to be part of other childrens lives maybe this was our purpose she said we would be important in others kids growing up.

We were both very emotional hoping this time would be the time. but in the end we survived my husband and stood together we always have . People knew we loved kids and knew how much we wanted to have babies I knit many things put them away for the day for our own but during the days of family showers saw how much the things that we had saved hoping for our own meant to them saw their babies in sweaters and little blankets and the bank that my Gram made for me to save for our baby I gave to my brother my closest brother and told him she had asked me to give him this for his baby save it till she was born. A baby who was born just after she died. A piece of someone we all loved and he felt very thought of by her.

Something also that was told to us something we both knew but in the shuffle sometimes easy to loose track of the blessings we already had. My friend knowing not how but just that we were trying came one day she put her arm around me and said word that I have never forgotten. I know how much it means to both of you she said and my heart is breaking watching you both wanting this so much. She said a baby is a gift that I wish I could find a way of bring to you but the greatest gift even it you do not have babies is the love that you share for one another the gift of your love for one another is the best gift as a baby would be a bonus added to the life you already share.

My friends suggested we bring home a kitten or puppy cat or dog we had birds and fish but living in an apartment at that time not allowed. People even offered us kittens when their cats had babies. One day after work my husband asked if we could go somewhere before we went home. He told me which way to go and after a drive in our city and the place we stopped was the little pet store just down from our park few street over from where I was born and going inside walking to the back saw a tiny little head peaking out in behind when he moved a little was another tiny little kitten they were brother and sister and so tiny. He had spoke to the owner of this nice little shop and they were both ready to go to a home of their own . He asked me to hold the little one out front he was lovely both were.

Told him no will not hold him if he will not be ours too hard to give him back wanted a family too hard to give him back . Asked which kitten I would like to take home and said they should be together I could not choose and leave one behind so our little adventure that day was the day we started our own little family . My husband had called earlier to ask them about kittens and they knew we were coming how wonderful that day was and now that we lived in our townhouse no one could question us having our kittens.

Told to come back the next day they would be waiting for us as they would be going for their needles this day and then we could take them home. Excited all the rest of the day and then the next day at work and then back to pick them ups our little Oscar was waiting out right by the little door of the pen he knew we were coming back and know he wanted to come with us we named our little girl kitten Elizabeth .

The day we went to the store not knowing why we noticed a little girl talking the kittens in the pen my husband asked if she was thinking of taking them home and she said no she was just looking it turned out she was their little girl she was watching carefully to see that they were going to the right place and guess we passed it was their cat that had these little ones and they were finding a home for them for her family. Six months later we went back for one more a kitten for them as they being brother and sister could not have kittens together and thought a baby for them would be nice to two little tiny grey tabby sisters did not want to leave one alone so our little family was now four Katie and Emily sister to. How much they all added to our lives this happened in 1994 and so many memories of the adventures they took us on . Life has a way of changing things maybe not the way you intended to do things but sometimes gives you something you would not expect and the need to love something little was filled in a different way than we started trying to do it but still what you need with a way to have a family of our own. Holly
 
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Hi @appaloosa girl Thanks for sharing with me find I can talk here so easily thanks to all for letting me express how I am feeling and talking it out is the best medicine I agree. I have had a great life, so lucky the bumps along the way are not as common as the nice times but sometimes they can hit you so hard harder when they are bumps that come from people who you hoped cared about and love you they can hurt us the most. Thanks to all of the wonderful friends I have found here and thanks for all the care that you have all shown to me and thanks for being there when needing someone to tell how I am feeling Holly
 
Oh we were so surprised when we came home today after my husbands doctor appointment. Last night it snowed so quite a bit of snow on the ground. It is still snowing and lots on the cars but not as cold as it was earlier so snow is melting a little bit. . We were walking along the pathway to go to our house and around the corner to the pathway to get to our door and then noticed our walkway up to our door was totally bare just wet but no snow. We have a railing on our stairway now that my husband asked to have put in when I had my first surgery as our steps are a little sloped and afraid I might fall off. He asked if we could pay them to do it and they said they do this for anyone having the need and they must have came by this morning when we were out and put down salt so all melted. My husband was going to shovel when we came home so now no need snow is all gone. How nice it makes you feel how much a bit of kindness can go another blessing. Holly
 
@lavender I have been trying to get on your thread for awhile now. I would click on your avatar and your thread and would get a oops message. Finally went back through all the threads and found yours.
Glad your brother is in your life and wants to help. I don't have any siblings in the same state we are in, but we all try to keep in touch.
Glad your hubby didn't have to shovel snow.
Keep warm.
 
Hi @tiredwife It is so nice to hear from you. I have the same problem finding threads sometimes think I am putting it in right but same oops message nice you found me and thanks for your post. My brother Greg and I are so much alike actually at one time not long ago we all had so much in common but things get mixed up with everyone trying to fit so much into their lives.

We usually spend Christmas with their family but with going to the hospital not sure when I will be home probably by the 24th but not sure so he has told my husband if I am still in the hospital he would like for him to come to their house if not and I am home he wants to bring Christmas to us. My husband was thinking he would cook a turkey for us anyway and so if I am home we will have our turkey together. My brother will be off for the Christmas week between Christmas and New Years so he has plans to see us during this time he has offered to get me and my husband out even to just come for a cup of tea and a talk. Hard to get everyone together for holiday celebrations as with having brothers they usually go to the wives side. One more week and then the appointments begin looking forward to having my surgery and today just 34 more days to go. Bath bench is waiting to be built maybe today it will be quick to do and then our townhouse people are coming to put in bars they offered never had bars last time but think they might help. Hope you are having a nice week have you started to decorate for Christmas yet.

We are thinking we will put up our tree in the next few weeks before it gets too busy and my husband will put up the lights on our fence. A few years ago after Christmas we bought lights which are placed on shapes an angel, a star, and a Santa in his sleigh . They are a type of netting so just need a few nails to hold them up they look pretty in the dark when lit up Hope you have a nice week Holly
 
@lavender We never start Christmas until after Thanksgiving (except buying stuff for the grandson). I always have to rearrange the living room to get the tree in front of the big window.
I am glad you have your brother near. He seems to really care about you. You have a great day!
 
I see it today on my screen. I hear people say we can change our own thread titles and now noticing the thread tools options has appeared on the top of my screen. Never had it before but when My surgery date is here I can change my title on my own. Not sure where it came from but know it will be needed. Thanks to those who have always helped with change in thread title but now nice to have it here. Holly
 
Hi hope you are having a nice day. Last night we watched our first Christmas movie first on the list was "The gift of the Magi" the Hallmark version and love it now planning our next one to watch we love movies so this is something we have a number of so wondering which we will watch next. Holly
 
Now watching Hallmark movie "The Christmas Kiss" not sure if we have seen it before but looks like it will be great Holly
 
Hi @tiredwife Really enjoyed the hallmark movie now remember if from watching it last year. My husband and I both love the movie Miracle on 34 street to the one with Natalie Wood as the little girl. We like the older versions best to if they were made in black and white we like them that way not colorized. Just made a little visit to our park just a quick one but had a chance to feed the geese and sea gulls ducks stayed on the water. They look so cold and took them some bread trying not to let it land in the snow and get lost. Sun is shining today very cold but the sun is really nice. Home again to get warm and a bit of cleaning and then hoping to watch another movie. Wishing you a great day Holly
 
@lavender Yes I like the older versions. My favorite movie is Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. I love the music in it and it is sort of based on the Gift of the Magi. Being that they are puppets brings out the child in me.
 
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