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TKR Katchmo's Knees: Round Two!

:console2: Negative thoughts are part of this recovery. How can we not fear that things may never improve when the recovery is so difficult.

As far as doing the surgery too soon, do you really think your surgeon would do the surgery if you didn’t need it? We have to hope he would have more integrity than that. Your tests much have shown the need.

But I can relate to the too soon idea, too, but I got the partial, which may be because I wasn’t ready for the total.

I also married an athlete. When I was a teenager my father, who was not a sports fan, warned me not to marry “a sports nut”. I didn’t know what he meant! I only had one sister and we did not play sports. I did find out, though. I was afraid if I only had sons I would never see any of them. Thankfully my first two children were girls. They were both athletes, but also girlie, so I was not left out of everything.

I’m sorry you don’t have more emotional support from your family. That’s very hard to cope with. Though not the same at all, I hope you feel you have support from us here and know we care.
 
@katchmo
I hope tomorrow is a better emotional day for you. You are only About 8 weeks out from major surgery. The body is process of healing. I had feeling of regret when I pine for my pre surgery life. Even though I had arthritis pain in my knee, I felt like I “ used a sledge hammer to kill a flea.” I got better as time when by. You will be fine, today is just a down day, we all have them. It is part of recovery!
 
Jockette said:
As far as doing the surgery too soon, do you really think your surgeon would do the surgery if you didn’t need it? We have to hope he would have more integrity than that. Your tests much have shown the need.
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I think from strictly empirical evidence, I met the criteria for a TKR, as I have grade 4 arthritis. BUT I now think I have had it for quite awhile and my more severe symptoms that led me to the surgeon were due to soft tissue damage. In fact, before the TKR, my left knee was actually starting to feel better and I thought briefly about canceling the surgery, but for the reasons I mentioned above, I didn't. Before I injured my knee last May, the amount of pain I had varied a lot according to my diet and self care. I think if I was able to just be content with myself as I am, I could have delayed this surgery for many years, or maybe even never had it, but of course that pesky time machine doesn't exist!
 
Hi @katchmo - First , I've edited your post, above, to insert paragraphs.
When people are faced with a big block of text, they find it hard to read so, often, they don't bother.

Using paragraphs makes it much easier to read.


Second, I'm sorry you felt pressured by the athletes in your life. However, I'm certain that no surgeon would have gone ahead with a knee replacement for you, if it had not been necessary, and your insurance company wouldn't have improved it.

Don't feel that you have to keep up with these athletes of yours and be like them. Find things that you like doing, and be yourself.
Your husband didn't fall in love with you because you were an athlete. He fell for you as you were.

Some men do find it hard to be empathetic. You can't change that, but if you can instill some helpfulness in your youngest son his future wife will thank you.

Don't feel you have to wait on these lazy athletes. Demand help from them when you need it. If they're athletic enough to play sports, they are fit enough to do some work around the house.
 
@katchmo I have been following your recovery and feel we have been having similar issues. I am also regretting this surgery. My knee is okay, but I had a pulmonary embolism and am just not getting better. I thought I would be fine to travel by the beginning of May, as I have a new grandbaby coming, a graduation and a marriage proposal to my daughter. It's been seven weeks today. I could barely find the breath to pick up a birthday gift for my daughter at the mall. It scares me to think it won't get better. I feel so old. If I could, I'd give your hubby and son a swift kick!
 
@katchmo My husband isn't great at outward affection either, nor has he really ever been sick or injured. Because of that, he doesn't really get it, but he has been a really good help to me. I've found that I have to spell out what I need in very clear terms and he will do anything I need.

After my TKR, he stayed home for a month and took excellent care of me. But, I do have to tell him exactly what I need down to small details, pictures, etc. Men do well when given exact details, but don't do well when we are vague or expect them to instinctively know. Women are nurturing and caring by instinct, men need directions. Over time, he's learned more about my needs and has even come up with some great solutions and ideas on his own.

When I need sympathy and understanding, I go to those who've been through it and/or my girlfriends. Men want to fix everything and everyone, whereas women are better at the emotional things. Yes, there are exceptions, but generally this holds true. If, after being given explicit details, your husband and/or son still aren't choosing to be helpful, then I agree with Agnes and I'd give them a swift kick at the seat of their understanding. :heehee:
 
Thanks everyone for the encouragement, I so appreciate it! My husband is a good man and a hard worker, but it's just how he was raised that men don't lift a finger in the house. He's so much better than his dad was, I can't expect any more, so I don't. But I do get annoyed with my children!

First day of spring and there is sunshine and a clear path to the road so Ollie the dog and I went for a walk. I used the hiking poles this time and that worked great. I concentrated on lengthening my stride and for the first half or so I actually felt like I was walking at a normal (for me) pace. I walked for 20 minutes and the fresh air felt great, but it was actually deceptively cold, with a bitter wind, and I was underdressed, so home we went. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer, then another snowstorm moves in. That's spring in Montana.

Lengthening my stride really forces my knee and foot to move in a normal way. It wasn't painful but I could feel the joint working. I'm back in my recliner and icing. But I hope I can make this an everyday thing as I can just tell it is so beneficial. I can just imagine that those who live in temperate climates and have easy access to a walking path might definitely have an advantage.
 
Agnes said:
@katchmo I have been following your recovery and feel we have been having similar issues. I am also regretting this surgery. My knee is okay, but I had a pulmonary embolism and am just not getting better.
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Oh @Agnes , as a nurse I know how serious a PE can be! I'm so sorry it has set you back. I hope that you and I are both well enough by May to enjoy our family events.
 
katchmo said:
Lengthening my stride really forces my knee and foot to move in a normal way. It wasn't painful but I could feel the joint working. I'm back in my recliner and icing. But I hope I can make this an everyday thing as I can just tell it is so beneficial.
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Just look at what you wrote here. You are feeling your knee getting better! It's letting you know it is working well, and is improving. You are helping it by using it within its current ability and by elevating and icing after putting it to work. You can feel your striding reasserting itself. You are able to enjoy walking.

You are only two months past having this major surgery. There is so much improvement coming your way it might make your head spin. I know that sounds awfully optimistic. The pain of TKR lasts for so long it can seem like it must be part of your new normal, but it's still just part of your temporary normal. The long-term new normal is still to come.

In my recovery I noticed huge changes at two points early on: six weeks (plus or minus a week) and three months (plus or minus a few weeks). At six weeks walking became easier and the pain shifted to only with certain movements, not all movements. At three months, I had lots of energy again and the pain began to go away, some days more than others, and convert over to only stiffness. These changes are all part of the healing process.

I hope you feel better today. These blues are natural in such a long recovery. Like Spring, though, better days are just down the road!
 
@katchmo
Your post reminds me of what my late mutti always said” One mother can raised 10 children, but 10 children can’t help one mother.” So true.
 
Mutti3 said:
One mother can raised 10 children, but 10 children can’t help one mother.
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Ack! Painfully true! My oldest daughter came and helped me for almost two weeks after surgery but since then I am pretty much on my own. I still have two children at home, ages 17 and 19, but they are gone a lot with school and sports. My 19yo also has a traumatic brain injury so his own life is enough work for him. He is good for carrying things though! My youngest is a very sweet girl and will help me if I ask her but she is also the messiest girl on the planet. My hubs is also very messy! So they don't really see what needs to be done and are not bothered by it. When my TBI son is home, he usually hides out in his room to avoid sensory overload.
 
We homeschool and when all six were young I ruled the roost and we had a routine that kept everything running like clockwork. Then teenagerhood comes along with jobs and sports and routines fly out the window and mom is left scrambling!
 
@Mutti3 I had a Mutti too, my dad's mother. She died when I was about 7. She's the one that I can look to for my arthritis, as she had it pretty badly in her hips. She was born in Germany and came to the US around the turn of the 20th century. Your screen name is the first time I have ever seen my Mutti's name used anywhere. I was told that it means mother in German?
 
@katchmo Although my situation is not exactly like yours, I do understand the feelings of regret and wanting my life back. Sometimes I feel like a little old lady. I hate the sleepless nights, the stiffness, the blues, and not being able to do the simple things like going up and down the stairs foot over foot. Like you I find that if I lengthen my stride I walk more normal or with less of a limp. I’m 10 weeks post op today and in the back of my mind I feel I should be doing more.

The other day I walked 10 mins and my knee definitely told me it wasn’t happy. Same with riding recumbent bike. I did 10 mins (a 50% increase from previous days) and the knee swelled and was painful. I had to pop an Oxy with my evening Tylenol dose.

This is such a trying recovery. I think 90% is mental. It is keeping positive and hopeful that the time will come when we will be whole again. But that is a struggle. I thank God I found this forum. Otherwise, I would have gone insane.:gaah:

Hang in there!! We are in this together. You are not alone.
 
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