TKR Jennszoo Staged TKR, working on running again
- Thread starter Jennszoo
- Start date
United States
mechellec
senior
I can relate. Went to my parents anniversary dinner last night and someone asked how I was doing and I replied that I was doing great but it was a slow recovery. They replied their husband had bounced back pretty quick after theirs. I really think people forget. Some day when our knees work great we will probably forget also but right now we just feel in such a hurry to be normal. Hang in there. We will get through this!
BossK
senior
Trying to hurry things gets me in more trouble... But patience hasn't ever been a virtue of mine. I'll try practicing what I preach. Maybe. (Don't read my recovery thread.
)
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Lilli215
senior
You could try some easy quad exercises, sit on bed or with leg on stool or recliner,put a rolled up towel under your knee and lift your leg until it's straight but still got contact with the towel, I used to do three sets of five and found it helped a lot, my knee always felt so much better after that and also some leg lifts without the towel , none of these were painful and are non resistanr but they do help with muscle tone.
I felt the same way about comments about they knowing someone that snapped back quickly. I would come back and say that my knee was different than theirs and had, had a lot more work done to it. They couldn't rebut that. Just tell them the same thing and tell them, for what all you had done, your OS says you're doing great!
I remember the Sunday before my replacement that was on that following Thursday, a fellow Sunday School member said that her husband had a horrible time after his replacement. That in therapy they put a big ice pack on his knee that was straddling between two chairs and then sat on his knee. I had all these horrible things running through my mind and actually had to run to the bathroom and throw up. What earthly good did that woman do for me by saying that. Of course, it was a fib, but I was already petrified when she said that!
Shortly after my surgery, I learned that if I just smiled and nodded my head when asked if I was doing all my exercises, that, that silenced them.
I'm not sure you're going to be ready for an outing in July. That will be less than a month out from your second surgery. Leave it open that you might have to back out.
I remember the Sunday before my replacement that was on that following Thursday, a fellow Sunday School member said that her husband had a horrible time after his replacement. That in therapy they put a big ice pack on his knee that was straddling between two chairs and then sat on his knee. I had all these horrible things running through my mind and actually had to run to the bathroom and throw up. What earthly good did that woman do for me by saying that. Of course, it was a fib, but I was already petrified when she said that!
Shortly after my surgery, I learned that if I just smiled and nodded my head when asked if I was doing all my exercises, that, that silenced them.
I'm not sure you're going to be ready for an outing in July. That will be less than a month out from your second surgery. Leave it open that you might have to back out.
debbyS
member
Hi @ Jennszoo, I have been there and to say it is annoying is an understatement. My SIL asked my husband if it hurt. Really!! These statements are coming from people have not had a knee replacement. Just bite your tongue, it will pass.
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liam2015
post-grad
Jennszoo...think of it this way: if that person who went back to work a month post-op was 20 years older than you, then i'll bet he or she didn't have 3 school age kids to juggle back and forth between school and after school activities plus being on your own while hubby away on business. (btw how is he enjoying new zealand? hope he sends you some pics.) it's hard to know whether people are saying things like this to encourage you in a positive way or to make you work harder in a negative way to obtain the same goal! i think you have been super amazing in the recovery of your first knee replacement ~ look at all you did and attended in the first 3 weeks!! i agree with sistersinhim that you should leave the girls' outing open until you see how you feel.
JennyLynne
post-grad
My dad is coming to visit tomorrow, staying with us for 3 nights. My dad the "back at work the next week, golfing soon after" TKR super hero. I am already steeling myself for the comments!
flyaway79
graduate
I really hate feeling like I have to explain why I'm where I'm at in my recovery 
Trust me! I wouldn't be lying here with this ice pack on if I didn't have to!!
Trust me! I wouldn't be lying here with this ice pack on if I didn't have to!!
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OP
OP
Jennszoo
post-grad
Right? As I'm laying here with an ice pack after taking the kids to the pool. Lol
Lilli215
senior
@ Jennszoo I'm afraid I was a bit short with anyone (friends included) who if I bemoaned the fact that it was hard going in the immediate weeks after my surgery said 'I know' I immediately retorted 'No you don't know and you never will unless you go through this'!' You don't 'know' what it's like to have a constantly aching knee, surviving on two hours sleep at night, being totally dependant , and having to walk with two canes and everything else wrapped up in this recovery!! Most of them understood where I was coming from and the rest ,well who cares!! Here in Scotland we have a superb saying for people who talk nonsense , they are told to " Awa n bile yer heid"!!! Translation- away you go and boil your head!! So folks if anyone is really annoying you with their boasting etc just utter the above phrase in the best Scottish accent you can muster
flyaway79
graduate
I hereby swear from this point forward I will NEVER give anything but sympathy and encouragement to anyone I know going through or preparing to go through this. Scouts honor!
OP
OP
Jennszoo
post-grad
And I just found out my husband has to extend his NZ trip a week. I'm so upset. I feel like they manipulated him. He told them he could only leave me for a week and once he gets there, he's being pressured bc no one else can run the training next week. The sad part is he wanted to quit this job in Feb,but he's only still there to get me through my surgeries bc the insurance was better than the new job.
But I'm totally depressed about not having help for another week. Like crying in the shower depressed. Yall know. Everything is just so much harder with this knee. Add in three kids who fight all the time, long summer days, no budget for expensive activities Bc I'm not working....
So hard.
But I'm totally depressed about not having help for another week. Like crying in the shower depressed. Yall know. Everything is just so much harder with this knee. Add in three kids who fight all the time, long summer days, no budget for expensive activities Bc I'm not working....
So hard.
JennyLynne
post-grad
Oh I am so sorry about this! I can only imagine how you are feelings. Anyone you can call in for support?
We have no family in-state so I know how hard it can be when you need another set of hands!
We have no family in-state so I know how hard it can be when you need another set of hands!
liam2015
post-grad
aww Jennszoo, i empathize with you...i can't even imagine if i had all your responsibilities along with recovering from one surgery and waiting for the next. hang in there, just one more week and after you've recovered from your second surgery, very well recovered, you should plan a girls vacation. that's what i've done in the past ~ if hubby goes on a golf trip, my friend and i plan a caribbean vacation, even when our kids were little. after all someone has to stay home with our dogs lol. you sure do deserve a break. 
flyaway79
graduate
That really stinks for his company to do that. I'm sure he feels as bad as you do. Go ahead and cry - a lot! I did it again this morning while getting dressed after my shower. Everything is just so darn difficult. You have triple the whammy with having to deal with the kids too. How do your kids react if they see you cry? Maybe they need to see that to appreciate how difficult this whole thing is, especially with their Dad gone. Just a thought.
I'm sorry that's happen to you, Jenn. I know how you must have been looking forward to having your husband back.
However, have a good cry and then just get on with it. You will manage and you will appreciate him so much more when he does return.
Do your children have friends with whom they could go and play for half a day? If they do, phone their parents and say that you need help and would appreciate them taking one child away for a few hours.
However, have a good cry and then just get on with it. You will manage and you will appreciate him so much more when he does return.
Do your children have friends with whom they could go and play for half a day? If they do, phone their parents and say that you need help and would appreciate them taking one child away for a few hours.
ditto to what Celle suggested. In fact maybe even ask your children if they can think of ways to help you out as in getting themselves invited over to other kids' homes maybe a few days.
Sometimes kids will surprise you.
Or...ask their father to ask them to help you out.(a long distance skype or phone call is better than a text message)
If they set up a board as to who does what without your input even, it might work...even a few days of this, while it's new, helps.
Sometimes kids will surprise you.
Or...ask their father to ask them to help you out.(a long distance skype or phone call is better than a text message)
If they set up a board as to who does what without your input even, it might work...even a few days of this, while it's new, helps.
OP
OP
Jennszoo
post-grad
Thanks guys. Some good ideas. And yeah, I had my cry and then I went about getting stuff done. Restocked the groceries w the new Walmart carry out service. Shop online and they bring it out to your car. So while I had to pile the kids in, I didn't have to attempt to drag them through a store while trying to shop and walk poorly. It's a great service.
My kids are hard to pawn off with the oldest having SN and my middle has anxiety and only a couple friends. I usually farm out the youngest but it helps.
I'm most mad bc I wanted to try to hit the gym a few times and swim laps and cycle and relax in the hot tub. Sigh.
And I'm def planning a weekend away with his Skymiles. Lol.
My kids are hard to pawn off with the oldest having SN and my middle has anxiety and only a couple friends. I usually farm out the youngest but it helps.
I'm most mad bc I wanted to try to hit the gym a few times and swim laps and cycle and relax in the hot tub. Sigh.
And I'm def planning a weekend away with his Skymiles. Lol.
mechellec
senior
I am so so sorry. That is a such a bummer. I would be shower crying too!
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