Mooey, the best advice is to start your own thread. You will get much better feedback that way. You will find that at the top of the main page entitled Knee Replacement Recovery Area. You will see a gray box that says "Start new thread". Give it a name and ask your questions. You will get help in no time.
As for muscle spasm, heat helps, but don't put it on top of the knee or where you have swelling. But your upper thigh should be okay. I used to put heat on the back of the knee when I iced the top, a trick I learned from the PT. No matter what, the first few weeks are uncomfortable, so try to take it easy and it will get better.