Don't be like me and wait too long!

[Elf1]

Haven't seen anything on the pre-op side about depression but there is an article on the post-op side that might be helpful. Unfortunately we're at that point right now that the pain just doesn't seem to let up, we're feeling bad that others are doing what we normally do, we have a tendency to hide away from friends/family for various reasons, hiding the pain is one.

We have to continue to push forward, I know it's rough, but try to do things you love and see if you can distract yourself from the pain. I saw a couple of posts ago that you had a canoe trip and ate lobster and had a really great day. I realize we can't all do that everyday, though it sure would be nice, but try to find little things you can do to distract yourself. Read, knit, crochet, bird watch, something to occupy your mind. We all have our moments of pity and that's ok but we have to not let it be a constant. You have to keep moving, again I know it's tough, and keep your spirits up as best as possible so you can be your best (all things considered) when you have your surgery.

As far as hubby's having to do more, sometimes that's how the cards fall. We take care of them, they take care of us. Was kind of in the marriage vows, for better or worse. Sometimes, when we're in the moment the worse seems to be forever. We just have to keep remembering that this is temporary and will pass. You can make it up to the hubs later when you're back to your healthy self. Take care, we're all here for you.

 

[mainegirl1]

Thank you.@Elf1
Its just that its been ongoing sick since 2014 when I had cancer an MI and TKR.. And at a recent lunch an acquaintance said I heard you have been sick all winter and now you are sick again.

I know I don't need friends like that.

I want to be me not a sickness.

 

[Elf1]

@mainegirl1 so sorry that it seems to have been one thing after another. Sometimes life just seems to want to kick us when we're down. The folks that make comments like that just don't know any better and would be the first to have a hissy if you said something like that if they were in our shoes.

I so understand you wanting to be you and not a sickness or injury! I am right there with you my hippy pal. I was so excited after my back surgery, thought finally, I can start being me again, start laughing, enjoying all the goofy stuff. Well, it lasted for a while and then the hip decided to get stupid on me.

My big boss just popped his head in my office a few minutes ago and said, hey, what's up? I said nothing, just counting down the days. He looks at me and says oh, the surgery. I said yep! He said I don't know that I'd be doing that, you sound like you're almost looking forward to it. I said I am, I am tired of being in pain 24/7, I want some relief. Oh, guess I didn't realize it was that bad. DUH! I just let people cut on me as a hobby!
Things that make you go hmmm! Stick with me, at least I'll try to make you laugh, even when I'm not trying!

 

[mainegirl1]

the doctor dance.. The PCP will not clear me.. According to her lousy records she won't since I she says I need to see my cardiologist. I have.. Its another office.. Apparently the two offices are incapable of communication. I last saw her in April and got spectacular results but she still will not give the go ahead.
WHY? Its not her surgery..that is the Orthopedics decision.

I wish I could find something funny about this @Elf1. I am soo jealous of you... in nine days you will be NEW!

 

[Elf1]

I'm so sorry you're getting the doctor run around. I hate when they do that. I learned the hard way early on that they don't communicate with each other even though they might be the ones to have referred you in the first place. The older I get the less patience I have for incompetence and then add in my pain and I tend to get annoyed pretty quick. Wish there was something I could do to help. Gentle hugs and sending good thoughts that your docs get their heads out of their butts!

 

[leejaa]

I am so sorry that you are now having issues with your PC. The only bright side is that there is time for you to contact your cardiologist and get them to send a report to your PC. It is the OS decision but as always they want to get everyone on board so are asking the PC to clear also- share any issues.

Hang in there - I know the cardiologist says to keep walking but maybe try to do it on the days it is a little less painful (I know there are no real pain free days). Use a cane or two hiking sticks to take the pressure off and try to do it on level ground - I find that uneven ground really adds to the discomfort. Sort of like recovery a few short walks even around the house is moving. Sometimes we just cannot do everything the doctors tell us.

My husband keeps saying when will I be done with surgeries - 3 since 2013 and another one to go right now. He does not mean it in a bad way but sometimes it is irritating. I still need a huge bunion fixed on my right foot so I can wear shoes easier and walk so I guess there will be another one after the hip. I am sure there will be comments from friends about that also.

You have gone through so much more and you will get through this also - there is no choice. Call and see if they have a cancellation spot - it's always worth asking. We are here for you. Let it out and relieve some of the stress of always trying to present a "happy" "Happier" face to the world.

 

[Barbaraj]

Oh, @mainegirl1, sometimes the fates just seem to conspire to make everything more complicated and difficult than it should be. Add constant pain with a bum hip and it just piles on. I am so sorry, and wish I had good advice. But what others have said is really the only way: try to distract yourself as much as you can and in terms of the doctors, take lots and lots of deep breaths and keep plugging away. It's ridiculous that you have to be the liaison between all these doctors who seem incapable of coordinating with one another. But it is what it is, regrettably. We're getting close, try to remember that--and so many others out there are in the same boat and we're all just limping along. As @leejaa notes, we're all in this together--onwards!

 

[Layla]

Its just that its been ongoing sick since 2014 when I had cancer an MI and TKR.. And at a recent lunch an acquaintance said I heard you have been sick all winter and now you are sick again.

Ignorant people need our sympathy as difficult as it is to muster up. They're clue less. You're not a sickness, as you labeled, yourself. You've moved beyond these things through good medical care / treatments and a determination to move forward. You've triumphed like a champ so don't let some silly ignoramus steal your joy.

Please don't lose hope quite yet in regard to the road blocks you're encountering pre-op.
You have two months until your surgery and given that amount of time I'm sure you'll stay right on schedule just as Elf1 is. Sorry you have to jump through hoops and I'll bet you're finding it really difficult to do so with a bum hip, lol. Sorry...couldn't resist that lame joke.
You'll be just fine and we'll be here to support and encourage you all the way to the finish line.
Big Hugs
@mainegirl1

 

[mainegirl1]

Thank you @Barbaraj
@Elf1
@Layla
@leejaa

The song of the day that keeps going through my head is Send in the Clowns.. While the office staff might be competent over all this seems not to be the day..
as far as the PCP and the Cardio goes it seems that the PCP is playing the game of "You first" but does not realize when the Cardio went. The PCP is still at the stop sign..

PCP and Cardio are on the same system and ought to know what each other did on my chart. The Ortho does know what the Cardio did.. The Ortho is at another hospital system! The PCP remains clueless..

My dentist poor people sent my clearance to the number on the form that Ortho gave me to give them.. It seems now that number is a psychiatrist..( if this were any more involved I might need one) They resent it so the OS now has two of the three correct forms..
IF there is any message its don't trust anyone.. with paperwork.. Now I understand why sometimes you get two nurses and asked your name and DOB repeatedly.

The comments about always being ill puzzled me coming from someone who had a hip replacement 18 months ago. She ought to have a clue!

I want to set those hoops on fire.. I was not too nice on the phone with the PCP office.

The Ortho office is very good at updating me on what they get for forms and they are mailing me an application for a temporary disabled permit so I can actually get in and out of the truck.. People have a tendency to park too close and I cannot open the door as wide as I need. Disabled spaces are wider.. However my druthers would be a disabled spot at the other end of the parking lot.. Usually less used but not here now with RV campers coming in with their rigs for shopping.

 

[leejaa]

Sometimes it is necessary to be a little more demanding with an office to get anything done. So much depends on their staff and the outlook of the PCP. I worked in healthcare almost all my life and sometimes I wonder why some people take jobs in health care when they do not see the connection between paperwork or bills and a patient who is already under stress.

I have learned to get a disabled parking permit right away pre surgery. It is almost more necessary pre surgery than after. The extra space to get the door really open and maneuver out is very necessary. The funniest thing was when I was working at the hospital the handicapped parking they wanted me to use was at the back of the hospital and my office was at the front-- this would have added 3x as much walking as a regular parking spot. yes, there were handicapped parking spots in the front but not for employees. My husband ended up driving me and picking me up to limit my walking prior to my left hip as luckily he had retired. Extra gas and time but I sure appreciated it.

 

[julesglass]

All the bumps on the road are maddening. There are things that need to click together and when others drop the ball it makes me want to spit nails. It doesn't take much to get me ticked off right now like going in today for annual blood test and finding out I missed the letter to reschedule it. The girl wrote down the date for me. I was late getting to work, upset with myself because I didn't open that letter. So in the car getting ready to leave and I look at the appointment card and she had put my kid's stepmother's name on the card! our names are just one letter different. Streets around town are so patched up and rough I feel everything through that car seat. okay.... breath... we're all in this together @mainegirl1 sometimes you've got to show people you are in serious pain and done with being put on hold. take care girl.

 

[Ptarmigan]

Oh, @mainegirl1 - you call it the “doctor dance”, I call it the “medical mambo!”

I know it’s not actually funny, but I got quite a chuckle out of our similar thought process

I really have to pick my moments for the mambo. Some of you may be surprised to hear this, but this kind of mess up can turn me into a shrieker. Once or twice, I am ashamed to say I made the other person cry. But @Layla is right when she says it’s better to be understanding. So, I am more careful. I can’t make these calls when I am hungry, or thirsty, or need a pain pill, or have to pee. And, secret sauce: a little emergency chocolate at hand is never a bad idea.

It’s truly adding insult to injury to make us dance, but we can definitely do it - and get exactly what we want - especially if we bring our own chocolate.

Better luck tomorrow, my fellow Hotshot!

 

[mainegirl1]

I wrote BE NICE on the back of a utility bill
Ill try!
I think I have just one more call to make
On the preop clearance sheet there are a list of all the possible docs they want clearance from
I have just three checked. PCP dentist and cardiologist
It could be far more! I feel bad for those who have eight hoops

 

[Barbaraj]

Well, @mainegirl1, I know this whole process is unbelievably frustrating as you race from doctor to doctor, but encouraging to read that you've got some stuff done and can see the light at the end of the tunnel--whew! I feel incredibly fortunate that I've had no coordination problems between medical care providers, at least thus far. Fortunately, all of them (PCP, cardiologist and OS) are on the same system so they can communicate online in their system. I didn't have any problems last time either, but I can imagine if I had I'd be crabby and frustrated, too. I think you just have to focus on the "slow and steady wins the race" approach. We're almost 2 months away from surgery now and although in some regards this seems like forever, it will be here before we know it.

 

[Layla]

Hello, @mainegirl1
Hope today is better than yesterday, allowing you to begin the week on a happy note.
You deserve a break after taking care of biz. Possibly some fresh air and sunshine to
brighten the day. Wishing you a good one!

 

[mainegirl1]

Fresh air and sunshine?
Fresh air yep
I live in a rural area just north of Portland ME
We're still seeking warmth and sunshine!
The crops are a month behind. I asked my farmer friend when peas and strawberries would be ready
He muttered something about cold mud !
But Thank You @Layla !

 

[julesglass]

My goodness @mainegirl1. I feel blessed that communication has been good between GP, lab, hospital and surgeon. I would be like this guy if I had to what you're having to do. I would put in a padded room to not to hurt anyone till surgery and had my cocktail Do what you gotta do to get them in line and marching right!!! I figure if we could we'd all ride like the Calvary to your rescue!

 

[mainegirl1]

FINALLY!!
Clearances all done..
I procrastinated moving to a cane but finally did and in the last three days have been able to walk as far as I want with no pain.. And with the help of the sleeping block pillow no pain at night mostly. Sometimes If I move wrong I get a sharp reminder. I am working now on a good long stride gait at a pretty fast clip for short distances using the cane. I am actually joining a gym class now.. yes now. I will do what I can.

I just did not want to be reminded of being old.. I guess.

 

[Barbaraj]

Good for you, @mainegirl1! Love that pro-active and confident approach. And if between the cane and the sleeping block pillow you are more comfortable and able to function better during the day, that's great! My view is that anything you can do before surgery to stay strong and active, and as pain-free as possible, is totally the way to go. Doing what you can is all anyone can ask. Go, you!

 

[Layla]

Awesome news! I'm happy for you on all counts.
Cleared for surgery, graduating to a cane and sleeping with less pain.
I hope you enjoy the gym.
@mainegirl1