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Depression/post-op blues - open for all

@MyBionicEra -oh I get it!! I’m just now at gym 2 days a week. The gym was life bf my accident. My body is a mess, it is just going to take time & a lot of patience!! As far as flat butt-it will come back, but it is slow. Send me a message & I’ll share with you some pictures of the progress I’ve made. My surgeon suggested stairs-which I couldn’t do but I managed to conquer hanging on to my railings at home. I found some exercises that have helped and also I have gotten several massages. But only if your surgeon allows. It’s been a tough time just to get back to gym-no kidding. 4 months out. But hallelujah I can walk!!!
 
@cyclist2025 this is no easy recovery, sadly. But it does get better with patience & time. You have found a wonderful group here. I’m so sorry about your accident. I had posterior THR bc of an accident in early sept, it is very scary. Hang in there. It does get easier.
 
Depression is a real thing, especially when someone has gone through a lot of challenges getting to the point they are at. Mental health is just so important to take care of. Never be afraid to reach out to someone to get some help.
 
Phoebie said:
I think feeling vulnerable increases underlying fear and depression. I had down days and frustrating days but it was after eight weeks that it really hit me. I don't do crying and being vulnerable around people. I am the supportive one for others so this role does not sit well. I had a melt down (very quietly) a couple of days ago and had to keep disappearing as I did not want the grandchildren to see me upset. I am better but am aware my feelings are very close to the surface ready to bubble up. I fly home soon and have decided to have a few days of hibernation to reset.

When feeling vulnerable I turn into a hedgehog; all soft on the inside and spiny on the outside if anyone comes near me.
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I was just reading your post and can very much relate. I am usually the strong one with family & friends and don't (like to) do vulnerability. All my friends wanted to visit me after my first operation in 2018, but I basically hid away (didn't socialise) until I was better. I think I'm like a cat who hides underneath the bed until I feel strong again! I'm aware it can make people think I can cope with anything (work colleagues definitely thought I was invincible) which isn't true. I'm human! I think I just prefer to grieve in private (so to speak).
 
Hello everyone this is my first post. Why? Because after spending 10 days in hospital after a THR (including 6 days of in hospital rehab), I thought id be ok being at home. So eight days on at home and my emotions have dropped down real low. Physically i am noticing an improvement getting around, but im frustrated with other things. I do have someone to help me, when he is a home, but basically im inside these four walls all day by myself. To add to that its scorching flipping hot here in Aussie. Temperature reaches at least 40 degrees Celsius most days, so too hot to even try to go out and water my cottage garden or even go sit in my private little secret garden where I feel as close as i can to nature.

Yes im climbing the walls, not interested in all the things I'd planned to do to keep myself distracted from boredom when i got home. Not interested in reading, artwork, watching movies or even computer work (except for this which my daughter who lives far away suggested i try so i can get a bit of support)

Seeing as its the weekend tomorrow my friend, who i live with suggested he take me out near a lake and we could have lunch, so thats a start. He doesnt understand how I feel, because apparently im not too good at communicating how i feel. I also dont want to be a constant burden on him as he works hard at a full time job.

My friend phoned me today and said she would drive over to me (some distance away), and we'd go down to my small bakery here and have a coffee n cake. Not much excitement in this town, but i guess its a start. I think ive been a bit anxious about going anywhere on crutches or with the walker in case i trip or get too tired etc. My partner and myself have had a good talk, nobody's fault, its just been a lack of communication on my part I think. I dont want to feel like this, but i wish I'd known before my surgery that the post surgery blues would or could affect me. Maybe then i would have been more prepared. Its all only been about the physical side of things, vital pre and post exercises, absolutely no mention of feeling depressed during recovery. I only found out it was almost normal thanks to this site that my daughter referred me to.
 
@ladybird22 Welcome to BoneSmart.

I'm sorry your recovery is off to such a difficult start. There are lots of threads here on the forum that you can read to learn what others have been through with their recovery as a Basic Member.

But if you'd like personalized support from our staff about your recovery, I encourage you to take advantage of our premium services as a member of the Insiders Club. The small subscription fee allows you to start your own Recovery Thead (Basic Members cannot do that) and receive one-on-one guidance from our experienced BoneSmart Staff. Insiders also have access to our BoneSmart Library that contains hundreds of helpful articles. You can learn more here.

If you're interested, we'd love to have you join us!
 
I am four months in post surgery. I’ve been doing PT for three months plus, I was doing good the first seven weeks, then went on a vacation and overdid it. Walked 5 miles a day, climb stairs a lot as it was a walk up hotel, swam, etc.. seem to have set myself back quite a bit. I now have pain every time I get up from sitting or laying position. Need to stabilize myself before I can walk. Once moving no issues except for the normal pain four months post. My PT consists of biking for 20+ minutes. Lots of balancing exercises, stretching, leg, presses, squats, etc...approximately 2.5 hrs 3xs a week. I could feel the muscles getting stronger and bigger all in my lower body from all the exercising, but the pain is getting me nervous. It seems to hurt more than it did in the beginning especially the part of when I get up I have no control of that leg without stabilizing it first. It’s a very strange feeling there is no more get up and go. I must get up and put pressure and squeeze the muscles in that leg before I could walk. Anyone else have these issues?
 
@ladybird22 I'm so sorry to hear you have post op blues. I do recommend the Insider Club, as you can see, I've joined and find it a great comfort.

My tip would be to have a good look at what you're eating. Very often, the blues can be due to an hormonal imbalance. Not at all surprising after surgery because think of the body as a production line. Under normal circumstances it's focussed on extracting the vitamins and minerals from the food we eat and directing them to sustain a balance of hormones and other things. These hormones are a key biochemical aspect of a well functioning emotional system. Most women will have experienced to a greater or lesser extent what happens when they are out of sync prior to a menstrual cycle. Back to the analogy of a standard product run in a factory, after surgery the body isn't in standard mode. It's in a kind of emergency mode, it considers healing to be priority... And it really is. As a consequence, rather than allocating all of those nutrients to the usual places, it diverts them toward all systems involved in healing. This is the reason nutrition is so important prior to surgery. It's about optimising the state of the system because of the extra needs after surgery. A quick internet search will give you a good rundown on the kinds of things you need to be eating. A common sense approach, meat, fish, lots of fruit and vegetables of varying colours. Plenty of water because that's needed too. Personally, I really value nuts and seeds to help boost psychological wellness. Particularly almonds, Brazil nuts and pumpkin seeds. Things like broccoli, spinach and other dark green vegetables too. I'm definitely not an expert but I've taught a little college psychology and so just passing on some base level info. A little research should reveal the details that I've hinted at.
 
Very good point about nutrition both before and after surgery, @Deni444 . We recommend that BoneSmarties take a look at our NUTRITION link in the tool bar at the top of the page both on the forum and on the website. You’ll find many helpful tips about healthy eating to promote a better outcome.
 
I’m 9 weeks post posterior total hip replacement. Regardless of elective or trauma surgery, early days post op are some hard yards to cover. I took up making sour dough , relaxing you’d think eh, 4 weeks later I I managed my first decent loaf. The time was taken by trying to make a starter dough but it resulted being a great distraction and a new focus as well as having a sough dough loaf.

So that’s a good coat of gloss varnish on my recovery for family and friends, unfortunately I’m still not reconciled being knocked off my bike and found being asked a simple question by my oldest friend , how are you doing, resulted in me becoming upset. Typically I tightened the mental nut and put it on the back burner to reconcile. Unfortunately that’s twice now, the first time I was asked the same question, I wept. Clearly a better outcome or better hidden, the jury is still out on that one.

It seems reconciliation is harder than I first thought so I’m off to the doctors to see what they suggest, about the only thing I’m not open to is drugs. So fingers crossed they don’t want to medicate the problem away.

On a more positive note, requests for soughdough loafs are coming in..
 
@slowmart Hi and Welcome!

Yes, a major surgery can create a lot of emotions in us, as we heal.

That’s great that you are learning to make sour dough bread, and are successful at it. How fun! I remember years ago making Amish Friendship Bread.

Please give us your surgery date, and which hip it is, and we’ll make a signature for you. :flwrysmile:

Just to let you know, we recently implemented a new membership program and there are new Guidelines for Posting. You are currently a Basic Member, which enables you to search the forums, and read about other recoveries.

If you want a more involved experience I hope you will choose one of our subscription options so you can start a recovery thread and receive one-on-one personal support to quickly answer any questions or concerns you may have. We are a non-profit organization and the small subscription cost goes toward keeping BoneSmart available for everyone.

Best Wishes! :flwrysmile:
 
Emotions pre and post op in my experience are slightly different. I was scheduled for an arthroscopic procedure and it was cancelled the week before due to the surgeon going sick. I had myself mentally prepared and now that was gone. It took 3 weeks to a month to get over that. I found when I had my THR, that been on here chatting to others along with having a routine. Even if that’s just to watch a few clips on YouTube to organising when and what exercises I’m to do today.
Break it down into little tasks, one day at a time. Don’t get worried or compare yourself to others and how they’re recovering. As that can get to you thinking you’re behind. When in fact you’re on target. Recovery is that recovery, let it take it’s time.

Looking forward to reading everyone’s stories and hopefully help and motivate each other. No one around you can understand what you’re going through. Be patient and don’t get to much into your own head.

Best of luck with your recoveries.
 
Hi all - I had my surgery 6 weeks ago. Leading up to it I had lots of messages from people I knew (friends?) saying they would help out. First couple of weeks were fine. After that I have been left to it. Noone it checking up anymore, I am having no visitors. It's very slow during the day and I have become very lethargic, not helped but not being able to sleep properly. Family/kids both live away and don't feel the need to check on me so much.

I can feel myself going on a downward spiral quickly and I see no way out.
 
Please give us the date of your surgery and which procedure (hip or knee, total or partial, left or right) you had so we can create a signature for your posts, @Satsky1975.,

I'm sorry you are struggling with post-op blues, but know that it really is a normal and expected part of the recovery process. And, as far as friends disappearing, that's also very common -- because most people have no idea how difficult or how long this recovery is.

We can offer you much more support and advice here if you sign up for our Insiders Club Membership.

We have a two-level Membership program and you are registered as a Basic Member, which is very limited in terms of forum participation. It’s meant primarily for members who choose only to research and read on specific topics.

As an Insider, you will be able to start a Recovery thread to share your journey, ask questions and receive personalized advice from our staff. Insiders also have access to educational resources not available on the public parts of the Forum. As a non-profit, we depend upon the small subscription fee to keep BoneSmart available.

Best Wishes. I you join the Insiders Club, so we can support you in your joint replacement journey.
 
luvinlex said:
I suffered horrible anxiety followed by a very severe depression. This was after the first 6 weeks ( I'm at 8 weeks post op now from L THP ) I couldn't leave the house, kept putting off PT, in general, afraid I'd fall. I kept all the blinds closed. I did good with home health and was walking without assistance after 3 weeks. The depression was a combination of things, but, did it slam me down. I didn't want to bathe, brush my teeth, couldn't ear, couldn't sleep and my hair began to fall out in large clumps. After 6 weeks or so, your friends are getting pretty sick of picking up your groceries and doing your laundry. It took a trip to a psychiatrist, told me this was not abnormal, and try to start my home PT instructions then go in for outpatient PT. I drove my car for the first time to day, and man, did it feel good. I think the lack of PT and making myself homebound, has undone my initial PT and the muscle in the thigh has loss strength. Feels like mush and no muscle. I wondered, did anyone else suffer depression, hair loss, or any emotional issues post op?
(L) THR Nov.23,2015
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I am 3 weeks post op. They say I won't go jogging again. Watch me.
 
Welcome to BoneSmart, @heartoffire. Please give us the exact date of your surgery and which procedure (hip or knee, total or partial, left or right) you had so we can create a signature for you.

Please note that this thread is specifically for discussion of post-surgical depression and not for general posts about your recovery. I encourage you to read about our Membership Program and Guidelines for Posting.

You are currently registered as a Basic Member, which is very limited in terms of forum participation. It’s meant primarily for members who choose only to research and read on specific topics.

If you would like to share your recovery journey, you should join our Insiders Club. As an Insider, you will be able to start your own threads and receive personalized advice from our staff as well as chat with other members.

As a non-profit, we depend upon the small subscription fee to keep BoneSmart available.

Best Wishes, and we hope to see you join the Insiders Club, so we can support you in your joint replacement journey.
 
benne68, I would argue that chronic post-op pain and depression often are "joined at the hip."
I am 5 months out from my R total hip replacement. My expectations were high for recovery, yet now sinking in self pity. I have my motorcycle parked in the garage and just today while sitting on it, the pain lifting my right foot off the ground is keeping me from enjoying any ride. The surgeon said everyone heals differently and it takes time. The discomfort is so affecting my psyche.
 
Welcome to BoneSmart, @PatsFan. Please take a few minutes to read about Guidelines for Posting.

I'm sorry you are struggling with both physical and emotional pain. We'd love to be of help.

You are currently registered as a Basic Member, which is very limited in terms of forum participation. It’s meant primarily for members who choose only to research on specific topics and read others stories.

If you would like to receive personalized advice from our staff, you should join our Insiders Club. As an Insider, you will be able to start your own recovery thread, chat with other members and receive prompt answers to your questions or concerns. As a non-profit, we depend upon the small subscription fee to keep BoneSmart available.

Best Wishes, and we hope to see you join the Insiders Club, so we can support you in your joint replacement journey.
 
Hello and Welcome to BoneSmart PatsFan,
I do hope you’ll consider an Insider membership so we’re able to support and encourage you as you continue to heal. I’d like to share a few supportive words though due to the thread you’re posting under.

Five months is still early in THR recovery. It is natural to feel discouraged when progress isn’t matching your expectations. Please give yourself grace and realize that it’s okay to feel discouraged some days. Recovery has its ups and downs and you still have plenty of time for improvement. Many remark that they made strides into their second and even third years post op. Keep that in mind and please join us as an Insider…we’d love to encourage you over the next several months until you can sit comfortably on that bike and finally head out on the highway. :wink: :hog:
@PatsFan
 
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