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Depression/post-op blues - open for all

This didn’t hit me last time, but I feel utterly dreadful. Just got home, and all I want to do is lie down and cry. I figure if I put on my ice pack while having my emotional meltdown it might at least do me some good. Everything feels so HARD. And I am in so much more pain than last time - although that might just be because different hospital = different nursing team = different pain relief regime. I had naively assumed it would be the same. Off to lie down / ice / cry.
 
Really feel for you, @Tuppence71 and crying is all part of the process. I had one day when I felt fine, but cried 20 times, yup.It’s in my diary ‘on the other side’ somewhere. I also had a meltdown in the hospital the day after the op (all over the physio) because the meds made me so ill and they had to change them.
If the pain is bad please talk to your GP or the team and ask for it to be changed, no one should be in pain.
This too will pass and you’ll be ok. Every day is different and every day is a healing day. Thinking of you.
 
Aww Tuppence, sending a warm hug your way. :console2: It will be okay.
It's really not unusual to feel the way you do. I know that's cold comfort when you're feeling out of sorts, you only want it to stop. There's the stress leading up to surgery, pain, lack of sleep, then the trauma of major surgery. Afterward you can still feel stressed, you're likely tired, and meds can come into play. Anesthesia can cause moodiness and crying. Pain meds can also because they affect our nervous system. Then there's the feeling of dependency upon others which is more difficult for some than others, and that can feel really frustrating if you're the independent type.

Keep reminding yourself that the crying is a normal response to all mentioned above and it's only temporary. Hopefully you're able to share your feelings with someone close and attentive to your needs. A little reassurance from a loved one can go a long way. I hope you're able to get comfortable enough to get some sleep.
Take your meds on schedule, stay hydrated and try to eat balanced meals with enough protein, healthy carbs and healthy fats to keep your blood sugar steady which helps stabilize emotions.
Wishing that tomorrow feels brighter for you. :SUNsmile:
@Tuppence71
 
Thank you @Layla and @Legseleven - after a dismal start to last night (failure to make it to the toilet as it took me so long to get out of bed and lurch to the bathroom on my sticks - when oh when will I stop constantly needing to wee? ) I am feeling a bit brighter today. I actually got a little bit of sleep and have managed to eat something.

But I hate feeling dependent on my husband - and it is all so undignified!

I also had an angry hospital meltdown - when the junior nurse came to take my blood pressure at 7am, I pointed out that I was way overdue some pain relief. I heard her tell the nurse in charge that I was in asking for my medication. Clear as day I heard him reply ‘I’ll get around to that in a bit’. The best I can say in my defence was that I did not swear - but I did shout/cry - ‘no, can you please do it RIGHT NOW’ ‍
 
Tuppence71 said:
when oh when will I stop constantly needing to wee?
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They pump you with fluids during surgery and that leads to an increased need to urinate. Spinal, GA and pain meds can also temporarily affect your bladder. They normally encourage hydration to prevent blood clots and constipation which will naturally increase trips to the bathroom.
I'm sure the medical staff at the hospital are used to patients becoming emotional. That experience had to be upsetting and you should have received timely pain management. Hearing the head nurse being dismissive likely felt frustrating and disrespectful of your feelings...I am sorry you had this experience.
I hope you're having a better day today. :friends:
 
Thank you. This place has helped so much over the last 48 hours. My emotions are definitely all out of whack - pain, shock, exhaustion. But I am lying in bed with an ice pack and my cats, and I know this will pass. Plus I just managed to have a wash and shampoo my hair, which helps make me feel a little bit less of a wreck.
 
Good for you! I love it.
Because we're communicating under this thread title currently, I will add that self care not only feels good, but it gives you a sense of normalcy in a situation that can feel foreign. You feel like you have some control in taking care of yourself and it feels fulfilling early on. Within hours of my surgery, I was to dress in street clothes, no hospital gown allowed. HUH?!! I believe was my response when I was instructed to bring clothes to my surgery site, to put on before I left the post op recovery room to head to my private room for the overnight. Naturally the clothes I brought were lightweight, loose and comfy, like pajama comfy...and a bra was a "no go" for me, flat out refused that one. :heehee: Nurse laughed and said she understood and didn't blame me.

The theory is that being in a hospital gown can make you feel like a patient. I thought I was a patient?!! :rotfl:
They just rendered me unconscious, sliced into my flesh and sawed my bone, doesn't that qualify me as a patient? Lol.

I do remember that first shower, which although quick, felt like one of the best ever. Aaah...to have clean hair again too. Wonderful! I also began blowdrying or styling my hair early on as well as applying "minimal" make-up after catching my bedhead in the mirror each time I'd use the bathroom. :yikes: Depressing! This may not be for everyone, but it truly made me feel better.
Still very early days for you, but I believe you'll reach this point soon enough and it does do a lot for our mental health as it provides comfort, familiarity and it feels like a big accomplishment also.
@Tuppence71
 
@Tuppence71 I stayed in the hospital gown for 3 nights as I was so slow to get out of bed because the knees weren’t working fully, and the bladder wasn’t behaving, post spinal block, and I had no one to wash my nighties. The memory of the lovely shower and hair wash at the care home I went to on the Saturday (op was Monday), will stay with me for a long time. It was bliss.
Just notice the little victories, and they soon get bigger.
I couldn’t eat properly for 11 days and drank a big jug of water and five pots of peppermint tea daily. I counted one day and I was peeing 11 times in 24 hours. Walking on my frame about nine yards each time from bed to loo, and back, so 18 yards. I was determined to manage and although sometimes in the middle of the night was hard I never used a commode. I had to pay for care, as I’m widowed, and knew I’d need some help. It worked well for me.
 
Tuppence71 said:
Thank you. This place has helped so much over the last 48 hours. My emotions are definitely all out of whack - pain, shock, exhaustion. But I am lying in bed with an ice pack and my cats, and I know this will pass. Plus I just managed to have a wash and shampoo my hair, which helps make me feel a little bit less of a wreck.
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Hello Tuppence, how did you manage to wash your hair so soon after surgery?
I've got hair envy!!
I hope you continue to feel stronger..x
 
@Shadowstar1951!
My shower is over the bath and with my painful incision this time I wasn't too keen on sitting on the bath board. I did manage to wash my hair though. I was able to position the shower head so I could lean in, just enough not to bend and stand securely holding my crutches. Some carefully placed towels and a non slip matt made it safe. I put the shampoo on a sponge for easier application. Wet hair. Stood up straight for the shampoo and then leaned in to rinse. Juggling crutches a little, the walking frame may have been easier. Not the greatest hair wash ever but it was nice and it felt so much better. I've done similar over the bathroom sink with a beaker for the water. I also have some dry shampoo but I'm not that keen. The hair looks cleaner but doesn't feel it.
 
Shadowstar1951! said:
Hello Tuppence, how did you manage to wash your hair so soon after surgery?
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How? Desperation. I have curly hair, which means no dry shampoo works, and I just felt so utterly revolting. I was told no showers for two weeks, and the idea of no hair washing was appalling. It was actually easy enough just to prop myself up on the sink and shove my head under the tap.

Now that I am feeling (a lot) stronger I have been making like @Deni444 and just showering with my right leg away from the flow of water.
 
@Tuppence71 What??? Propped yourself up on the sink, head under tap!?!?!? :what::dubious:. What are you, an Olympic gymnast? Double jointed? Or just superwoman? :rotfl:

I'm seeing you perching your bottom on the sink and somehow getting your head under that tap.
 
I’m 8 weeks out and the fatigue and depression is brutal. I’m still in a lot of pain and very tired. Had a panic attack on Tuesday because i don’t feel like I’ll ever get back to my normal life.
 
Hi donvito,
Unfortunately, fatigue doesn't help anything. I am sorry you're feeling so low. If your pain isn't managed well enough to remain comfortably mobile, consider speaking with your OS about medication, or advice for the pain. Don't forget about icing. Eight weeks is very early into the healing process of a recovery that usually lasts a full year, even longer for some. Your body is still healing.

Do you feel like sharing your activity on a typical day, over on your thread? Possibly some activity, exercises, or PT you're engaging in is contributing to the pain. We may be able to help if we understand what a normal day is like for you. Highs and lows at this point are very common. Pain, stiffness and setbacks can come and go and it's likely frightening you if you're feeling good for a day or two, then take a dive.

There is something to be said for staying busy also. I doesn't have to be physical activity all day, but try keeping your mind engaged in something other than recovery. Please reach out to your GP in regard to the depression if it continues and you feel it will help.

Rest assured, you will get back to normal life and possibly even better than you remember once you're healed. This recovery does take a lot of patience.

Wishing you comfort and peace of mind.
@donvito2234
 
You aren't alone, donvito. The majority of us struggle with depression during the first few months of recovery.
I'm sure you've read the article about post-op blues.

This is a common experience for anyone recovering from major surgery, but I think it's especially hard for us joint replacement patients because our surgeons simply don't help us go set proper expectation about how long recovery takes.

With my first hip replacement, I believed I would be back to work and activities at six weeks -- because that's what I had done after each of my previous (non joint replacement) surgeries. I soon learned that joint replacement recovery has different "rules."

The fatigue occurs because our body is using most of its energy stores for healing. I don't know if you've seen this post which explains it quite well. That fatigue, along with the pain, contributes to the depression.

I know it's hard to be patient, but try to reset your expectations about recovery. A month from now, you will be feeling better and will be able to begin to get back to things that you enjoy.
 
Had My left hip replaced yesterday , this first night is horrible.. I hope everyone here feels better.. Im still recovering from my left shoulder reversed replacement on Jan 19th!! I've heard from my PT and others that the hip is easier then the shoulder recovery!! Dont know how true that is!!
 
Hello First Timer,
I am really sorry you're hurting after your THR yesterday. I hope the pain eases up soon and recovery goes smoothly for you. We'd love to support you as a part of this community through our membership. For an enhanced experience here, we encourage you to join the Insiders Club which allows special perks above the basics, making the most of what BoneSmart has to offer. Please join us!
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