If it helps, many report having PTSD post major surgery.
I feel I am suffering a bit from this. Mine came about from my PTs and my surgeon pushing my knee to a painful place to measure ROM. It took me until my 7 month check up to refuse to let my surgeon do that. He had hurt me the worst at my four month check up. Of course, I had long been discharged from PT by then, but I dreaded my approaching checkups long before the day I went.
Somebody else might have just gotten annoyed about it, but my personality was deeply upset about it. It instilled a deep fear of anyone touching my leg.
It is also my personal opinion that even though we don’t remember our surgery, I think somewhere our brain does remember it, and some of us react more strongly than others to the trauma done to our body.
I am still very fearful of physical therapists, and I’m 2 years post op. I realize my fear is most likely irrational, but it’s not easy to just let it go and think positively.
Hopefully returning to work will help you. It will take your mind to things you need to think about and do at work, and it might be a good mood lifer to get back into a more normal routine, and as you accomplish things at work it will be gratifying to realize what you can do.
You will still be in healing mode for a while, so try not to feel bad if you have to ask for help, or have to put your leg up, or whatever you need to do for your comfort. I hope you have friendly and helpful colleagues who will welcome you back.
One day, one hour, one minute, one step at a time.
