THR Can you hear me from the other side?
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Queenie
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I Presume you are watching the game Mrs...........Good innit?
Sorry to hear you've been running both ends. I'm very grateful that the runny botty situation usually bypasses my family thank goodness! Although like you say it sounds like the meds are to blame.
I've got an extremely weak bladder that needs sorting out, so I can completely empathise with the need to get to a loo quickly. It's not funny when you've just had a new hip fitted is it? Although my family would shout 'Shes's off!', then one of them would make sure the door to the loo was open so that I could get in there quick. Wearing joggers always helped because you don't want to be messing with buttons and zips when you're desperate.
If it makes you feel any better I need to lose a stone. I have been comfort eating for 2mths................Well........I needed a lot of comfort didn't I!! My husband loves the new well rounded me but not many of my clothes fit and its beginning to irritate me. I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed overindulging on the chockie bickies but now I need to reign it in. I'm going to start a new healthy eating plan but not til after my birthday!
Don't worry about the weight. You can lose it when Spring comes and you're more mobile.
Hope you thoroughly enjoy your cake.
Lotsa lurve
Queenie xxxx
Sorry to hear you've been running both ends. I'm very grateful that the runny botty situation usually bypasses my family thank goodness! Although like you say it sounds like the meds are to blame.
I've got an extremely weak bladder that needs sorting out, so I can completely empathise with the need to get to a loo quickly. It's not funny when you've just had a new hip fitted is it? Although my family would shout 'Shes's off!', then one of them would make sure the door to the loo was open so that I could get in there quick. Wearing joggers always helped because you don't want to be messing with buttons and zips when you're desperate.
If it makes you feel any better I need to lose a stone. I have been comfort eating for 2mths................Well........I needed a lot of comfort didn't I!! My husband loves the new well rounded me but not many of my clothes fit and its beginning to irritate me. I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed overindulging on the chockie bickies but now I need to reign it in. I'm going to start a new healthy eating plan but not til after my birthday!
Don't worry about the weight. You can lose it when Spring comes and you're more mobile.
Hope you thoroughly enjoy your cake.
Lotsa lurve
Queenie xxxx
*Self pity alert*
three and a half weeks post op, and I spent the morning in a teary heap.
1. I'm tired. Not sleeping is really starting to take its toll.
2. I completely over did it yesterday. I went out for not one but two 20 min walks yesterday, and cooked a family dinner. And just to really make sure that upped the ante - I baked a bloody cake.
3. I forgot to take my pain killers before I went to sleep. The pain killers that sit in a pack on my bedside table.
4. I've been back at work (working from home), for the last week and a half, and its very busy. However I can really feel the strain of working from home, with colleagues moving in on my territory in my physical absence and my boss just not keeping me in the loop on things, and then making me feel needy.
5. Being reliant on other people to do the most simple things - like put the bins out - means me having to nag to get them done.
6. Feeling overwhelmed by little things - I've got parents evening on Monday at school. Madly you get 5 mins with each teacher spread thoughout the school hall, including having to get up and down a mezzanine floor on one side, and up and down the stage on the other. Dreading that more than what the teachers are going to say!
7. Sinking realisation that my 'friends' aren't perhaps the good friends that I thought they were. I've had hardly any offers of help, visits, etc. My best friend hasn't been near me for four weeks. It makes me feel very lonely. And yes, sorry for myself.
And yes, I know that points 1 and 2 result in the rest of the list and more, (so yes, lessons learnt) but I needed to offload.
three and a half weeks post op, and I spent the morning in a teary heap.
1. I'm tired. Not sleeping is really starting to take its toll.
2. I completely over did it yesterday. I went out for not one but two 20 min walks yesterday, and cooked a family dinner. And just to really make sure that upped the ante - I baked a bloody cake.
3. I forgot to take my pain killers before I went to sleep. The pain killers that sit in a pack on my bedside table.
4. I've been back at work (working from home), for the last week and a half, and its very busy. However I can really feel the strain of working from home, with colleagues moving in on my territory in my physical absence and my boss just not keeping me in the loop on things, and then making me feel needy.
5. Being reliant on other people to do the most simple things - like put the bins out - means me having to nag to get them done.
6. Feeling overwhelmed by little things - I've got parents evening on Monday at school. Madly you get 5 mins with each teacher spread thoughout the school hall, including having to get up and down a mezzanine floor on one side, and up and down the stage on the other. Dreading that more than what the teachers are going to say!
7. Sinking realisation that my 'friends' aren't perhaps the good friends that I thought they were. I've had hardly any offers of help, visits, etc. My best friend hasn't been near me for four weeks. It makes me feel very lonely. And yes, sorry for myself.
And yes, I know that points 1 and 2 result in the rest of the list and more, (so yes, lessons learnt) but I needed to offload.
Queenie
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Oh Firebrand you poor thing. I feel for you, I really do.
Considering you're only 31/2 weeks out you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. I understand that you've got to work and it must be very frustrating that you're feeling left out of the loop. Is your Boss approachable? You either need to cut back on your work load or insist that he communicates with you more. I'm wondering if the former might be a better idea.
I'm afraid it sounds like you are being a bit of a martyr........I don't mean to sound rude but I don't think you're squeaking enough. This is a massive issue amongst post op THR folk. I find it incredible how quickly others expect us to get back to 'normal'. The trouble is....and women are the worst culprits, we have the 'its easier to do it myself' attitude, mainly because it can be exhausting having to nag all the time. In most cases it's the easier option. But I think you need to let your family and friends know that actually you are no where near able to operate on the level they are expecting you to. Unfortunately the more you do the less they're are going to offer to help. Now you are in position where you feel physically and emotionally spent. You need to be honest with them. I think with the work load on top of housework etc that you are doing way too much.
You still need to be resting A LOT at this stage. Sounds like you're a very conscientious employee and a great mum but I feel you need to be putting yourself first here. It will only be for a few months out of your life. Does it matter about the dusting, the hoovering or even the cooking? What's wrong with your family eating ready meals for a while? You've had a hip replacement for goodness sake!
If you can't reign in the work load then try reigning in some of the chores at home. You probably feel like everyone wants a piece of you and you are trying your best but no one appreciates you right? It was about this time that I packed a bag to leave if it makes you feel any better. Goodness knows where I was going to go on my crutches but it got my point across!
The friends situation is a tricky one. You might have to actually phone your friends and let them know that you need a shoulder to cry on......there's that squeaky wheel again. It's really tough when you feel let down by your girlfriends but it might just be a case of having to give them a little nudge. I had one friend who I felt completely let down by. Turns out she was having her own pity party and didn't think to let me know because I was going through the mill also.
You are not alone firebrand. I've noticed that a lot of recovering THR's hit an emotional wall around the 4wk mark. It sure is a journey and a half ain't it?!
As I think I've said before, why not suggest those around you watch a THR surgery on YouTube? They'll never be able to empathise but you might get a bit more sympathy.
I'll be thinking about you.
Queenie xxxx
Considering you're only 31/2 weeks out you are under a tremendous amount of pressure. I understand that you've got to work and it must be very frustrating that you're feeling left out of the loop. Is your Boss approachable? You either need to cut back on your work load or insist that he communicates with you more. I'm wondering if the former might be a better idea.
I'm afraid it sounds like you are being a bit of a martyr........I don't mean to sound rude but I don't think you're squeaking enough. This is a massive issue amongst post op THR folk. I find it incredible how quickly others expect us to get back to 'normal'. The trouble is....and women are the worst culprits, we have the 'its easier to do it myself' attitude, mainly because it can be exhausting having to nag all the time. In most cases it's the easier option. But I think you need to let your family and friends know that actually you are no where near able to operate on the level they are expecting you to. Unfortunately the more you do the less they're are going to offer to help. Now you are in position where you feel physically and emotionally spent. You need to be honest with them. I think with the work load on top of housework etc that you are doing way too much.
You still need to be resting A LOT at this stage. Sounds like you're a very conscientious employee and a great mum but I feel you need to be putting yourself first here. It will only be for a few months out of your life. Does it matter about the dusting, the hoovering or even the cooking? What's wrong with your family eating ready meals for a while? You've had a hip replacement for goodness sake!
If you can't reign in the work load then try reigning in some of the chores at home. You probably feel like everyone wants a piece of you and you are trying your best but no one appreciates you right? It was about this time that I packed a bag to leave if it makes you feel any better. Goodness knows where I was going to go on my crutches but it got my point across!
The friends situation is a tricky one. You might have to actually phone your friends and let them know that you need a shoulder to cry on......there's that squeaky wheel again. It's really tough when you feel let down by your girlfriends but it might just be a case of having to give them a little nudge. I had one friend who I felt completely let down by. Turns out she was having her own pity party and didn't think to let me know because I was going through the mill also.
You are not alone firebrand. I've noticed that a lot of recovering THR's hit an emotional wall around the 4wk mark. It sure is a journey and a half ain't it?!
As I think I've said before, why not suggest those around you watch a THR surgery on YouTube? They'll never be able to empathise but you might get a bit more sympathy.
I'll be thinking about you.
Queenie xxxx
BarbaraR
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Firebrand, I'm 9 days ahead of you and had a total breakdown last week, so I totally hear where you're coming from. Queenie gave you fantastic advice. As I've told my husband, I can work or I can make dinner, but I can't do both. Monday I stripped the bed and left clean sheets on it and told him to make it. (He did.) After last week, I went to my boss and told him I made a mistake in coming back full time so quickly, and we worked out a bit of an easier schedule for the next few weeks.
If I were you, I'd call the school and explain that I just had major surgery and can't navigate around the school. Would it be possible for the teachers to send you updates by email? ( You shouldn't have to walk around that school 4 weeks after hip replacement. Seriously. You don't want to have a setback.)
Call your best friend and cry to her. Like queenie, I've noticed that if I cover up the difficulty I'm having, everyone assumes I'm just fine and bounced back so quickly, and they have their own **** to deal with. If she's really your best friend, she'll listen and apologize for being out of the loop. (And if she's not, you might as well find out.)
You're amazing, Firebrand. I absolutely could not have gone for 2 20 minute walks, made dinner and baked a cake yesterday. In fact, I took the ingredients out to bake before I left for PT yesterday, and ended up putting them away because I was too tired. My husband was away yesterday so my dinner last night was black bean soup from the freezer and a glass of rose. (I highly recommend the wine.)
As for work, it's hard not to feel uncomfortable but try to let that go. You'll be back in the office soon enough--you can bake them a cake to thank them for taking over some of your responsibilities and let them know you'll take it from there. Hold your head high. From what I'm reading you're an amazing worker and your boss is lucky to have you.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. XO
If I were you, I'd call the school and explain that I just had major surgery and can't navigate around the school. Would it be possible for the teachers to send you updates by email? ( You shouldn't have to walk around that school 4 weeks after hip replacement. Seriously. You don't want to have a setback.)
Call your best friend and cry to her. Like queenie, I've noticed that if I cover up the difficulty I'm having, everyone assumes I'm just fine and bounced back so quickly, and they have their own **** to deal with. If she's really your best friend, she'll listen and apologize for being out of the loop. (And if she's not, you might as well find out.)
You're amazing, Firebrand. I absolutely could not have gone for 2 20 minute walks, made dinner and baked a cake yesterday. In fact, I took the ingredients out to bake before I left for PT yesterday, and ended up putting them away because I was too tired. My husband was away yesterday so my dinner last night was black bean soup from the freezer and a glass of rose. (I highly recommend the wine.)
As for work, it's hard not to feel uncomfortable but try to let that go. You'll be back in the office soon enough--you can bake them a cake to thank them for taking over some of your responsibilities and let them know you'll take it from there. Hold your head high. From what I'm reading you're an amazing worker and your boss is lucky to have you.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. XO
Queenie
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I know you can't help it but you MUST think about yourself for once. It's only for such a short time and its not nice feeling under pressure from all sides.
Hope you're feeling better soon.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Hope you're feeling better soon.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks BarbaraR and Queenie. It's reassuring to know that I'm not completely barking! What tipped me over the edge was getting my husband to put my DVT stockings on last night. I told him they weren't on right, and he said they were fine (it's when my toes stick out through the stupid holes). How on earth can he decide they are comfortable? And I so hate having to ask him to do it. So I fidgeting with the damn things all night (in as much as you can without breaking the 90degree rule) until I gave in and came downstairs at 4am. If I ever wanted to hold someone hostage like that Kathy Bates film, it would involve those damned TENs stockings.
I've got my four week physio tomorrow - she'd better be kind to me. Or have tissues.
I've got my four week physio tomorrow - she'd better be kind to me. Or have tissues.
BarbaraR
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octopus
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Hi firebrand. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. Queenie & BarbaraR have given some excellent advice, please try and cut back on something. Maybe you could try the packing your bag thing 
Sending you cyber hugs from Downunder!
Sending you cyber hugs from Downunder! 
Anniepops
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Firebrand, I am absolutely gobsmacked that you done so so much in one day, what were you thinking!!! As much as we want to be superwoman it just isn't physically possible after surgery, something has got to give.
The thing s with Husbands and children, they don't often hear what you are saying to them...in one ear out the other so to speak and they don't often see the looks of pain, discomfort, sadness on your face. The thing that speaks loudest to them is the stuff you are doing, like cooking dinner,baking cakes and tootling out for walks twice a day. If you seem to be getting on with the normal Mam stuff okay then they think you are okay. Baking a cake was the worst thing to do.lol.....not only are you doing too much for everyone you are also baking them treats giving the impression that all is great with you.
I agree with Barbara about the parents evening, there is no way on this earth I would have even attempted to go to one of those so early out. Apart from all the weaving through desks and chairs there are also so many adults there and careless kids who could easily accidently kick your crutch on the way past...and as for the stage stairs...
I think it is time for the family to be reminded just what you have been through and tell them you are going on strike for the next few weeks Take some time for you, you need it
Take care
Ann
The thing s with Husbands and children, they don't often hear what you are saying to them...in one ear out the other so to speak and they don't often see the looks of pain, discomfort, sadness on your face. The thing that speaks loudest to them is the stuff you are doing, like cooking dinner,baking cakes and tootling out for walks twice a day. If you seem to be getting on with the normal Mam stuff okay then they think you are okay. Baking a cake was the worst thing to do.lol.....not only are you doing too much for everyone you are also baking them treats giving the impression that all is great with you.
I agree with Barbara about the parents evening, there is no way on this earth I would have even attempted to go to one of those so early out. Apart from all the weaving through desks and chairs there are also so many adults there and careless kids who could easily accidently kick your crutch on the way past...and as for the stage stairs...
I think it is time for the family to be reminded just what you have been through and tell them you are going on strike for the next few weeks
Take some time for you, you need itTake care
Ann
designergirl
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So sorry you've been going through a rough patch Firebrand. I can totally hear you about the work issue, I'm working some hours from home and like you, I'm not always kept in the loop. All I can do is send emails and voice mails and then let it go. I do have a few friends in the office that will fill me in if I ask.
I do think most people expect you to be almost healed by around 4 weeks and that certainly is not the case. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I also think knowing how much activity to do is a tricky business. If I feel good, I'll go for it, then the next day more muscle pains appear. So then it's a day of rest. I think that this may be a good thing. When I was training for a 65 mile bike ride a few years back, when I had a big training day, the next day I would have a "recovery ride", a gentle short ride. This was so my muscles that had been worked the day before could rest and recover.
I can sympathize with you about the friends sort of ignoring you. Right after the surgery, there were calls and flowers, lots of outpouring of concern. That dried up within a few weeks. I realize they have there own lives to muddle through, but we are sitting at home away from our normal routine and our minds just start to over-think and worry about thing we normally wouldn't bother with. I don't have any children still living at home, just two dogs and they're not talking, so until the hubby comes home, it's pretty lonely. It doesn't help that it's still feels like winter with a fresh coating of snow every morning, some spring! Hang in there, we'll all get through this.
—Susan
I do think most people expect you to be almost healed by around 4 weeks and that certainly is not the case. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I also think knowing how much activity to do is a tricky business. If I feel good, I'll go for it, then the next day more muscle pains appear. So then it's a day of rest. I think that this may be a good thing. When I was training for a 65 mile bike ride a few years back, when I had a big training day, the next day I would have a "recovery ride", a gentle short ride. This was so my muscles that had been worked the day before could rest and recover.
I can sympathize with you about the friends sort of ignoring you. Right after the surgery, there were calls and flowers, lots of outpouring of concern. That dried up within a few weeks. I realize they have there own lives to muddle through, but we are sitting at home away from our normal routine and our minds just start to over-think and worry about thing we normally wouldn't bother with. I don't have any children still living at home, just two dogs and they're not talking, so until the hubby comes home, it's pretty lonely. It doesn't help that it's still feels like winter with a fresh coating of snow every morning, some spring! Hang in there, we'll all get through this.
—Susan
Thank you all. Some very salient points. I could slap myself for the bloody cake actually. My husband is Kurdish, and today (spring solstice) is his new year. I thought that it would be something of a treat for us. Of course, that's what online ordering is for.
The good news is, I had a very positive physio appointment today. She was happy with my progress and gave me a load more exercises to build up the muscle deep in the hip, and *drumroll*:
- I can come off crutches. She said I can walk unaided in the house, and use a cane to go out for as long as I need it.
- I can sleep on my side! Yay.
I could have kissed her - it felt like a real milestone.
We went out for a coffee to celebrate - my first non medical trip outside for a month.
The good news is, I had a very positive physio appointment today. She was happy with my progress and gave me a load more exercises to build up the muscle deep in the hip, and *drumroll*:
- I can come off crutches. She said I can walk unaided in the house, and use a cane to go out for as long as I need it.
- I can sleep on my side! Yay.
I could have kissed her - it felt like a real milestone.
We went out for a coffee to celebrate - my first non medical trip outside for a month.
Nannyannie
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Firebrand - great to see you are more cheerful this evening, party (but with a takeaway!) to celebrate Kurdish New Year! Having just seen the weather forecast on the TV I think we all need something to celebrate.
I know I'm 16 weeks in but I am just as bad at asking for help - I do still get very tired. Friends may actually be worried about "bothering" you, not ignoring you.
As for those wretched stockings, when the district nurse took out my staples at 12 days she said I could stop wearing TEDs as I was fairly mobile by then (only to the bathroom and kitchen for drinks, etc.) They were actually starting to rub sores round my toes and on the back of my heels in bed so were doing more harm than good. Nobody seems to have any hard evidence as to how long you need them.
The new exercises - take it gently!!!!!! Think how long it took for the muscles to turn to jelly, start slowly and build up gradually. Marathon, not 100metres. And working - because I was worried about being out of the loop,I made the mistake of going back to work full-time too soon after a hysterectomy 8 years ago. I suffered and ended up having to take more time off. A hard lesson, realising that I am not superwoman!
Have a good evening!
Anne
I know I'm 16 weeks in but I am just as bad at asking for help - I do still get very tired. Friends may actually be worried about "bothering" you, not ignoring you.
As for those wretched stockings, when the district nurse took out my staples at 12 days she said I could stop wearing TEDs as I was fairly mobile by then (only to the bathroom and kitchen for drinks, etc.) They were actually starting to rub sores round my toes and on the back of my heels in bed so were doing more harm than good. Nobody seems to have any hard evidence as to how long you need them.
The new exercises - take it gently!!!!!! Think how long it took for the muscles to turn to jelly, start slowly and build up gradually. Marathon, not 100metres. And working - because I was worried about being out of the loop,I made the mistake of going back to work full-time too soon after a hysterectomy 8 years ago. I suffered and ended up having to take more time off. A hard lesson, realising that I am not superwoman!
Have a good evening!
Anne
I made the unilateral decision that I'm stopping the stockings. It's been four weeks, and like Nannyannie, they are making my skin sore. As well as slipping over my toes in the night and cutting off the circulation. From what I've read, others get to ditch them before this point, so I'm just going to have to take my chances.
bottomshollow
Former BoneSmart staff member
![[Bonesmart.org] Can you hear me from the other side?](https://data.bonesmart.org/attachments/8/8723-e94c976da5479bf01ce4bd8d15507d6f.jpg?hash=6UyXbaVHm_ "[Bonesmart.org] Can you hear me from the other side?")
You won't be taking much of a chance, so don't let it worry you for a moment. There is absolutely no proof that they prevent blood clots---they may help circulation a bit---but if you're up and about you don't need that. I think they're used as a CYA for the OS in case of problems since some folks will sue at the drop of a hat.I wore mine in the hospital and at inpatient rehab---but once I got home---in the trash they went!!!
Take care and keep us posted. We care.
![[Bonesmart.org] Can you hear me from the other side?](https://data.bonesmart.org/attachments/8/8724-2e148d80260bda88e8845f2509bfebd5.jpg?hash=LhSNgCYL2o "[Bonesmart.org] Can you hear me from the other side?")
I was told I should wear them at night for six weeks. Which means taking them off and on for the shower at least. From what I've read, and from the fact that their application is so inconsistent, I think that the risk of me developing a blood clot in the next two weeks due to not wearing them, is a risk I'll take.
designergirl
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Firebrand I never had to wear those stockings at all. I had blood thinner injections for 4 days and the leg pump things in hospital, then only 1 aspirin everyday for a month. No problems at all for me. I think you'll be fine without them and since you won't be annoyed by them, better attitude for healing.
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