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Anxiety-disordered person awaiting TLKR July 28

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I got all my pre-surgery testing done today. I didn't realize I could do it on a Saturday, but I could, and there was nobody ahead of me. I'm glad to be able to cross that off my list.
 
I bought two body pillows today. My husband asked if he could use one before my surgery. I didn't know he had any interest in body pillows!

I have had a lot of anxiety today and depression. It has been hard. I tried not to cry because both my daughters (22 and 17) were home, but I was not entirely successful. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
 
@Daystar You are going to have bad days, it is expected. Need to listen to some calming music.
Wow, I couldn't imagine having a teenager right now. I watch my grandson about 3 days a week and it exhausts me. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
 
@tiredwife thank you for answering. I am in awe of your dedication in reaching out to so many people here. What would we do without you? I really need to listen to my pre-surgery guided meditation CD. I tried to do it at the camp I was at last week, but I kept falling asleep. My daughters are pretty good. They are both adopted. The older one came to us at two days old. She has learning disabilities and is not able to be independent yet, but she is growing up little by little. The younger one came at 15 months old. She is fine, and will be a senior in high school this year. Both girls were adopted through foster care. We also have two birth sons who are grown up. The younger one is 29 and lives in Richmond with his bride of three months. The older one is 38 (spacing not planned!) and lives in New Jersey with his wife and our two little granddaughters. We got to spend last week with them at a church camp which was wonderful. I can't take care of them, though. Fortunately, my husband is in a lot better shape than I am!
 
I don't know anyone who doesn't have anixiey before the surgry. Let face it our lives have become something we don't like so we are doing something that is really big. You will make it. Just take a day at a time. If that is too much Take a minute at a time. I find that when I am uneasy, reading a book, hobby or plan some vacation that take lots of planning and then put it aside and know that its all ready when I am ready. Remember you can only do a day at a time. Having teenagers must be ruff. It is a exciting time for them and not be able to take care of the things that need to be done must be ruff. Come here and write and don''t forget the Social section. It has lot of interesting things to read and games to play. I know if I went thru all that I did, I know you can get thru it also. Take care. Tashia
 
@Daystar Sounds like you have a wonderful family! It takes very special people to foster children! I know you have a lot of Love in you! About the grandchildren, it must be rough not to be able to get down and play with them. Jacob (our 3 year old grandson) would love to have grandpa be able to get on the floor and play with him, hubby tries be he just can't do it anymore. Soon maybe he will be able to again, and you will be able to do more with your grandchildren.
 
We look after our grandchildren, 15 mths girl and 4 1/2 yrs boy, two to three days a week. Grandson was wonderful with my "boo-boo" knee. He loves to use the "claw" to pick up toys -- best use for the picker-upper device! He starts pre-K in late August so a new phase of our life is starting. The kids take, and love, us as we are.
Glad you were able to get the pre-op testing done easily. Take care. J
 
Our 3 year old grandson was great with my husband's knee we let him see the boo boo and then he would avoid it. He still doesn't want to sit on grandpa afraid he will hurt him.
 
Hi, I am in the process of deciding when to have the surgery. I do so much empathise with your journey. I want to thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing your thoughts and concerns. In doing that you are probably speaking to and for many others. How brave of you to be so open. I will be praying that you experience the peace that passes all understanding.
 
I saw my therapist today, and she is going to see if my insurance will cover a house call! I doubt that it will, but I didn't even ask her. We might have a phone session otherwise.
 
You sure are brave to me, there will be lots of people dealing with anxiety who will be v much helped by yr honest sharing.
One of my daughters is a clinical psychologist who specialises in anxiety disorders. I have learnt from her to respect how debilitating the affliction is. Also how secret and often disguised it is by sufferers.

Disclosure of personal struggles takes unusual courage and honesty. Which you have in heaps.
I will be praying for you each day through the process, may you see evidence of the love and special provision of God in some way each day, each step of the way.

BWT what a world we live in, here I am in Sydney Australia , you in Pennsylvania and we are " talking" virtually instantly. It has become a small world.
God bless...
 
Happy to hear you asked your therapist to at least try. I agree that insurance probably will not cover the session but the possibility of a phone session is encouraging. Having said that, the biggest boost you'll get is from the BS community (in my opinion). It's a great resource and open 24 hours!
Can never give TMI here, part of the reason people feel so comfortable opening up and sharing their own experiences.
I have not had time to read much on BS the past week and hope to catch up when I can.
 
I'm a depressed and anxious person myself, and I so get where you are coming from. The thing with our worries is that they aren't coming from a place of logic......they just are. I have heard from many people how painful recovery is - then I came here, and I have read about people just days after surgery who are so much happier. Also I once met a man, on crutches - with a swollen, stitched up knee- who told me that he had had a TKR just a couple of days ago.....and he was smiling. I think everyone's recovery will be different. I'm a way off surgery yet, and I'm telling myself the big bonus is the time off work. Pain is something I am used to now!
 
@tiredwife Thanks for asking! Hard, hard morning even with a little bit of Klonopin. I felt better after seeing my therapist. She advised me to try and keep the blood levels of Klonopin steady, so I took another 1/4 mg eight hours after the first 1/4, and that helped. I want to take as little of it as possible, but on the other hand I'd just as soon not go down the tubes again! I understand that you are feeling better physically? I hope so.
 
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