Anxiety-disordered person awaiting TLKR July 28

[Karringtyn]

Hi hon. I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. My RTKR was in February. It wasn't easy, it was a rough rode for a bit, but it was manageable. I was honest with my surgeon, scheduled appts with my therapist and made sure I took Xanax like I was prescribed. My anxiety actually improved after surgery because my knee was so much more stable and I felt the confidence come back. I did suffer from depression...but it was also mid winter blues and I couldn't handle being stuck inside......KNOW your triggers ahead of time. USE this site. There are MANY people (like myself) that understand....people are on this site all hours of the day.....I am heading back into surgery August 1st and it looks like I am going to have a TLKR...I will know more about that after the surgery......

Am I glad I had my knee replacement??? YESSSSSSSSSS! It is SOOOOOO worth it. Recovery from surgery is temporary!!

 

[new knee in June]

@Daystar
I feel for anyone who has this disorder I was tested for everything, nothing... I don't
Know if Anxiety caused my problem or my problem caused my Anxiety
Either Way, I keep hoping it will go away, but after 14 years I think I am stuck with this for life
I thought my body would adjust, but it still sends my into an Anxiety Attack every time.
Sincerely,
Diana

 

[Daystar]

Other things I'm anxious about: I was involved in a fairly minor car accident in March. My 17-year-old daughter, who had 20 hours of driving experience or less toward the 60 she needs to get her license, was driving home from play practice at school. I was the licensed driver accompanying her. We went a different way because of construction. She stopped at a 2-way stop, thought it was a 4-way stop, and pulled into the path of an oncoming car which hit our rear driver-side door and spun us around almost 180 degrees. The driver side curtain airbags deployed. I stupidly had my left leg up on the dashboard, which I never would have done if I had been conscious of it, and my leg got flung to the left. I immediately knew that my hip or my back had been injured, as well as my left knee. My husband took us to the ER later. We both had x-rays. My daughter was ok. My films showed moderate degeneration of the hip, which I didn't know about, and "significant" degeneration of the spine. My knee was a mess, but that had nothing to do with the accident. I didn't really care too much about the knee, since I knew I was going to have it replaced eventually. The knee got better, back to baseline, but I still have nerve pain on the left side of my back, actually in the buttock. Sometimes my foot tingles. I went to PT for months, but it didn't help. That's where I am now. It seems to be getting worse. (The car was totaled, BTW.)

I don't know what I'm going to do after the TKR. I'm going to have to lie on my back, which makes the pain worse. I have an adjustable bed, but I can't get into a position that is comfortable for my back. I need to lie on my sides, but I won't be able to do that after surgery. (I am starting to get pain even when lying on my sides now.) I am so angry with myself for my stupidity which has caused all this unnecessary pain which is probably going to be permanent. This has raised my anxiety level a lot. I feel trapped, which is never a good thing for anxiety. I want out of this whole mess, but there's no way out. Waaah! (Autocorrect suggested waka ah. What in the heck is that?)

 

[Daystar]

Thanks so much, @Karringtyn. There do seem to be a lot of people around here who have or have had anxiety and depression. I think depression goes with my anxiety. If the anxiety is controlled, I'm not depressed. My anxiety is having a field day right now, though!

 

[kneeper]

Sorry you have the added issue of your back going on. You might have to be creative with a system of pillows after your tkr. We've had some people here who've had back issues (unfortunately I'm blanking at the moment) so perhaps someone will be along with suggestions.

 

[Karringtyn]

Body Pillows have become my best friend. I used three after surgery....it was what helped me. I know a lot of people used recliners...I don't have one...but I did ok on the bed and on my left side...(Had right knee replaced) once a few days passed. The more I thought about it the more my anxiety skyrocketed....it's starting to happen again with my upcoming surgery.....My depression hit me hard once I weaned off from pain killers (which I hate...but are crucial to recovery!)...We are all here to listen...to encourage...My story is in my signature if you have some time and want to check it out.....

 

[Daystar]

@Karringtyn You are the best! I am going to get at least one body pillow, probably more. I see a lot of other people don't like sleeping on their backs either and that body pillows and king-size pillows are helpful. Just knowing that I probably won't have to spend days lying on my back has calmed another of my worries. Another reason I don't want to sleep on my back us that I have neuromas in both feet, and they can get extremely painful when I sleep on my back. The only way to stop the pain is to turn onto my side. Sometimes I have to actually put my feet on the floor to get rid of the pain. So that worries me, too. Also, I can't wear any kind of socks on my feet at night, as that triggers the pain. There is no way I can have TED hose with feet. I have to remember to tell the OS that I will cut the feet off any kind of socks he might put on me.

I have been reading your story. I'm only up to where you just got home, and you mentioned the water/alcohol ice packs that I read about on the forum. I made one bag of that a couple weeks ago to see what it is like, but I have been wondering if anyone used these. So I'm excited to see that at least one person did! I don't know if I will have an ice machine at the hospital or not. I asked my OS's assistant about it, but it was as if she had never heard of ice. She said that would be a good question to ask at the class, whenever that is. I would like to save the money for an ice machine if the water/alcohol works. The one I have seems very heavy, though.

Back to your story....

 

[Jozilla]

Lots of people here have used your ice bags so they should work fine. My hospital also provided ice machine which was covered under my insurance and for me worked very well.

I have severe degeneration of the spine also. Cervical, thoracic and lumbar. I use a heating pad on my back a lot. Many days i had ice on my knee abd heat on my back! I also knew my knee was getting better after tkr when my back started hurting more. I do see a neurologist for my back pain on a routine basis. He helps me deal with a lot of that pain with medication, spinal injections, PT. I also have mortons neuroma in my feet. When my knees are both done and I am well recovered I will deal with them. Fortunately I think my tkr has helped my foot pain. Be sure you get new shoes/sneakers for after your tkr! That was a very important tip I received from BS.

Lots of support here - you are going to be very well prepared!

 

[Daystar]

@Jozilla Thanks for the suggestion about new shoes. I'm reluctant to do it because I'm already spending so much money on everything else, and my shoes were expensive. I've had the neuromas for many years. I saw a podiatrist a couple times. He gave me cortisone shots (ouch!) which did not help. As long as they only hurt at night once in a while, I probably will continue to ignore them. (If I go barefoot, it feels like I'm walking on marbles, though.)

I just found out today that the only ice I'll be getting from the hospital is one large pack that has to be put in the freezer. Now I'm trying to decide if I should buy a Cryo Cuff. I would use it again when I get the other knee done, plus my OS had told my I'll need shoulder replacements eventually, and I could use the Cryo a Cuff then. Although I'm resolutely relying on magical thinking to help me avoid shoulder replacements!

 

[tiredwife]

@Daystar I would be very leary of cutting the feet out of ted hose, I would be afraid that might cause the feet to swell up. I'm not sure, talk to your doctor before doing that. The thing about new shoes is that your old shoes are worn to your old way of walking, after knee replacement you will walk right and the old shoes will try to make you walk the wrong way.

 

[Daystar]

@tiredwife I don't think I would actually cut the feet off, but the neuroma pain is intense...around an 8. And I get it about 100% of the times I forget and wear socks to bed. They're the same socks I wear in the daytime, but something happens when I've been in bed for a few hours. I am really scared about the compression stockings. I can't imagine how you can put those things on after you have had knee surgery. I had to wear one when I had a DVT a few years ago for no discernible reason, and I could barely get it on. I didn't have to wear it at night at least.

I saw somewhere about the necessity for getting new shoes, and it does make sense. I have been wearing these shoes for several years, and they are worn down and ugly. But they cost over $100 and have inserts for the neuromas. I'm definitely not getting another pair when I have the second knee done! Whenever that is.

 

[tiredwife]

@Daystar Can't remember how long hubby had to wear his, I would put his on for him. Maybe you could wait to change them out on your PT days so they can help you. I know my husband didn't wear them as long as they wanted him to, he's never had a clot. The pair he had was getting nasty so we switched him to some knee high support socks he has. That way I could wash the ted hose out. Hubby got a new pair of shoes and hadn't wore them very long before his LTKR, so he wears them now. His next knee will be the 6th of August so we will probably will get new ones after that, luckly he has only wore his work boots a couple of times too.

 

[Daystar]

I'm so scared! I don't think I can do this, but I don't really have a choice. So many things are weighing on my mind, and I'm filled with anxiety. I was reading posts from the recovery side, and I don't think that was a good idea. I kept running into the statement that TKR is a "brutal" surgery. It seems like so many people are not happy with their outcomes. I'm not a brave person or a stoic. I dread the thought of months of pain and struggle. I dread the thought of being sick from pain meds, of being constipated, of having 8-plus pain from my neuromas, of having nerve pain in my back, etc, etc. Mostly I dread the anxiety and depression that will come. If even people who have never been depressed get depressed after a TKR, what hope is there for someone who is going into the surgery already depressed? I keep thinking I'm going to cancel this, but then I think of a woman at my church who cancelled her TKR a few years ago and now she can barely walk. Her valgus deformity is extreme, really almost unbelievable. Her doc told her it's too late for a TKR. So there really is no way out, but I'm terrified.

 

[tiredwife]

@Daystar I wish I could make all your fears go away. All I can tell you is that my husband (who is now 6 weeks 1 day) hasn't been depressed since surgery. He was so anxious before the surgery his face broke out! The worse pain he has had was a 6 while in the hospital when his thigh muscle cramped, and they fixed it with meds right away. He says other than the muscle cramp (which was a one time thing) he only had a few short bursts of 5 pain. The grinding pain before the surgery was completely gone after, as was the sharp 'bee sting' pain he would get all the time. He no longer, upon getting up, has to stand still a few minutes to get his knees to go. We made sure the PT knew not to push him to pain. Overall, because of the stairs in the house and he is always overdoing it, his pain level is now a 2 and he has been off narcotics for a few weeks. A lot less than before surgery. You need to trust your medical team to keep your pain managable. He actually had to agrue with his surgeon to do his second knee sooner at 10 weeks. You can do this!

 

[kneeper]

I just found out today that the only ice I'll be getting from the hospital is one large pack that has to be put in the freezer. Now I'm trying to decide if I should buy a Cryo Cuff. I would use it again when I get the other knee done, plus my OS had told my I'll need shoulder replacements eventually, and I could use the Cryo a Cuff then. Although I'm resolutely relying on magical thinking to help me avoid shoulder replacements!

Having done/doing tkr recovery both ways, I'd recommend getting a cryo cuff or some such. Especially with you knowing you'll need the 2nd knee done I'd think it's a good investment. And if you use the frozen water bottles it is fairly convenient. I use the polar ice machine & supplement with gel packs at other times.

I hear you on the magical thinking. I've got a shoulder that someday will likely need replacing too. :(

 

[Daystar]

@tiredwife Thank you so much for responding. I feel so alone. My husband is a good person and he will help me, but he doesn't understand that I'm not going to be recovered in a couple weeks. He minimizes everything...I maximize everything. I got a bunch of stuff for constipation yesterday, and he told me I just need to eat raisins. He scoffed when I said I need to get new shoes. If he were having this surgery, he would go into it with little preparation figuring he would deal with things when they came up. I drive myself crazy trying to prepare for everything that could possibly happen. I have extreme emotional reactions, and right now I feel like my life is over. I probably should take a Klonopin, but I worry about that, too! Really, I'm hopeless!

 

[Daystar]

@kneeper I'm getting a Cryo Cuff! I made an offer on eBay yesterday for a used one in excellent condition with a medium size knee pad. I offered $50 (it had been reduced already from $100 to $70), and they accepted my offer. I'm happy about that. Hopefully it works right. Everyone seems to love their ice machines!

 

[tiredwife]

@Daystar With your husband it is a guy thing. If I hadn't taken it upon myself to do the research for my husband we wouldn't have been prepared for all he was going to face. I think he is grateful that I did. I suggest you have him watch the video of the TKR surgery, you can find it on line and I think it might be in the forum's library. Then he might understand what you are facing, but don't watch it yourself! Often men seem to minimalize things when they are really worried about them, he probably acts that way because he is afraid if he shows you he is worried about it you would become more nervous. You take care of yourself and try to not worry so much, I know -easier said than done. Maybe read a good book or watch a movie to get your mind off it for awhile.

 

[Jozilla]

I have to say this is one surgery that you do indeed benefit knowing what's going on. If you are anxious take the meds if you need to. I had a script for 30 pills as I was so afraid and never used one if them. I somehow came to trust the anesthetist which for me was the most difficult part. In the hospital there were ten if us recovering with knees. I am not kidding you when I say the 8 men were all dying and me and another woman were ready for everything. We did so much better than the men in our group. My DH couldn't believe it. I really think it was from reading here. I also expected the worse scenarios but it fortunately did not happen that way. I will prepare the same way this time and hope it is just as good! As far as shoes go I only bought one pair of Clark's and wore them every day for 6 months. Then I bought one pair of sneakers which I will wear until my next surgery. You did great with the ice machine! There are bargains out there you just gotta look!

 

[Chihuahuan]

@Daystar My best advice to you at the moment is to see whoever treats you for the anxiety disorder and stay on your medication regimen. Do you have a therapist who can help you through this?
Having a TKR is a stressful time for anyone.
These are the shoes I bought --caused no problems with my neuromas --in fact they are much better since the surgery. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GPOR9I/?tag=ate362da-20