Oh
@Daystar Cindy, I feel so bad. For reasons unbeknownst to me the internet Gods have not been alerting me to updates to your thread. I'm all caught up now though. You've been suffering so badly with your anxiety and worrying.
First, please do talk to your doctor or therapist about Buspar. I only occasionally had dizziness with it and when I did it only lasted a few seconds. Like the room taking one quick spin and it was over. And that was not every dose or every day. I never did figure out why it happened or why it didn't.
Because I was having daily, some days ALL day long, panic attacks I became so depressed. It was awful! I had nausea 24/7 and would sometimes go days without eating a thing. When I did eat it was maybe a couple of crackers or something. I lost over 50 pounds (needed to but not that way!) and was absolutely miserable. I was working at the time and I forced myself to go in but I literally counted the minutes until I could come home again and lay down and sleep. All I wanted to do was sleep. When I was asleep I didn't realize how horrible I felt. My husband has described it as watching me melt away. Horrible! Horrible!
My panic began following a very bad and violent car accident in 1996. Eventually after a year of dealing with the anxiety and depression I was diagnosed with PTSD (I had thought and believed my son had died) and given proper medication to deal with it. After only a few days on Buspar (it took a lot of convincing on my part to convince the doctors that the depression was a result of the anxiety and not the other way around) I finally began to feel better. I stayed on Buspar for about 5 years because I was so scared of the panic attacks returning. Eventually though I got brave and took myself off of it and much to my delight I stayed panic free until I suffered the loss of my dad and then my mom 3 months later. I had to briefly go back on it for about 2-3 months and have been off it since. That was in 2010. I still worry excessively but no panic attacks at least. Some days I feel I come close to going back over that edge but haven't for more than a few brief times.
I'm not sure what Klonipin is. The only anxiety type drug I was ever given before the Buspar was Xanax. I'll never forget that day. I had been to my doctor in a complete panic. I was a mess! Sobbing and crying, begging for something to make it stop. He gave me an Rx for Xanax. I went to the pharmacy and had it filled and came home and took one. I was sitting in my chair and in about 20 minutes, for the first time in over a year I felt NORMAL!!! I just sat there and cried. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel normal. How sad is that?
My wish for you is to find your normal again. And I pray your surgery goes remarkably well and you can put your recovery worries behind you. Please don't give up on finding an answer to your anxiety. It is worth it to keep fighting. The version I gave here for my battle is way over simplified. Just don't give up!!!
(((hugs)))
United States
