TKR Amberpep's Recovery Thread
- Thread starter amberpep
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jerseychick
post-grad
Re: Discharged by doctor today
Great report abby!
Great report abby!
referee54
Former BoneSmart staff member
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Re: Discharged by doctor today
Great news! go for it! You have reclaimed your life!
Those early months can be dreadful, but the sun is shining on you now. Enjoy what you have earned.
Great news! go for it! You have reclaimed your life!
Those early months can be dreadful, but the sun is shining on you now. Enjoy what you have earned.
carousel66
graduate
Re: Discharged by doctor today
MOST Excellent!
MOST Excellent!
sashayinglady
senior
Re: Discharged by doctor today
:happy dance:WhoooHoooo!
Amazing!!!!!!
Darlene
:happy dance:WhoooHoooo!
Amazing!!!!!!
Darlene
OP
OP
amberpep
Sr Bonesmartie
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Feeling very sorry ....
Hi everyone. My son, who is a Patent Lawyer in D.C. is going away on a vacation for 1-1/2 weeks the beginning of September. He has a dog, Charlie, who is a beautiful Vizsla. For anyone familiar with these dogs, they are highly active. My son is a hiker and outdoorsman so Charlie fits him perfectly. He just called me and asked me if I would consider letting Charlie stay here while he was gone. I knew immediately this would be too much for me, but oh the difficulty in saying that. I have a laid-back Cavalier King Charles, and 2 cats. I take Molly (my dog) out 4x a day - down 1 flight - and she's a very calm walker. This would mean I'd have to walk Charlie at a separate time - that would bring it to 8x a day down and up the steps, and Charlie is so high energy, he virtually trots instead of walk. Also, one of my cats (a bit of a bully) has discovered that Charlie is terrified of her. Whenever he's here, Daisy just sits and stares at him, knowing he's afraid. I'd have to keep both cats in the spare bedroom. I know this would all be more than I can do right now .... Charlie is just too hyper, but it was so hard saying no to my son who has been so kind to me throughout this whole TKR. I'm feeling a lot of "mother guilt" even though I did what was best for me. Thanks for listening.
abby
5/24/11 :secretaea:
Hi everyone. My son, who is a Patent Lawyer in D.C. is going away on a vacation for 1-1/2 weeks the beginning of September. He has a dog, Charlie, who is a beautiful Vizsla. For anyone familiar with these dogs, they are highly active. My son is a hiker and outdoorsman so Charlie fits him perfectly. He just called me and asked me if I would consider letting Charlie stay here while he was gone. I knew immediately this would be too much for me, but oh the difficulty in saying that. I have a laid-back Cavalier King Charles, and 2 cats. I take Molly (my dog) out 4x a day - down 1 flight - and she's a very calm walker. This would mean I'd have to walk Charlie at a separate time - that would bring it to 8x a day down and up the steps, and Charlie is so high energy, he virtually trots instead of walk. Also, one of my cats (a bit of a bully) has discovered that Charlie is terrified of her. Whenever he's here, Daisy just sits and stares at him, knowing he's afraid. I'd have to keep both cats in the spare bedroom. I know this would all be more than I can do right now .... Charlie is just too hyper, but it was so hard saying no to my son who has been so kind to me throughout this whole TKR. I'm feeling a lot of "mother guilt" even though I did what was best for me. Thanks for listening.
abby
5/24/11 :secretaea:
KneedyinNJ
member
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Hi,
Is there a neighbor that could help with walking Charlie?
Hi,
Is there a neighbor that could help with walking Charlie?
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Don't feel sorry! You have to do the right thing to keep yourself safe and also not add additional stress. Personally, I do not like to leave my dogs in a kennel for an extended time, but I have had a lot of success in finding dog sitters by checking with local vets, so that might be a possibility.
I have never asked my mom to watch my dogs, but there have been times I've asked her to do things with or for my children and she has had to tell me that it would be too much for her. I've always understood that she would do it if she could.
It's best not to take risks with your health/falling - you did the right thing.
Don't feel sorry! You have to do the right thing to keep yourself safe and also not add additional stress. Personally, I do not like to leave my dogs in a kennel for an extended time, but I have had a lot of success in finding dog sitters by checking with local vets, so that might be a possibility.
I have never asked my mom to watch my dogs, but there have been times I've asked her to do things with or for my children and she has had to tell me that it would be too much for her. I've always understood that she would do it if she could.
It's best not to take risks with your health/falling - you did the right thing.
deezee
junior member
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
I totally get the mom guilt, having 4 kids of my own.
However, you were absolutely right to say no.
As an example, I am just 2 weeks out from my PKR. I have 3 dogs, one of whom is elderly, large, and needs to go out frequently due to medication for a cardiac condition. Yesterday afternoon, no one was around and he absolutely had to go out. I couldn't let him suffer and he will make himself sick before he will have a accident in the house, so me and my cane and Wagner on his leash, attempted to go out for him to relieve himself. He is usually very well behaved, but the urgency had him frantic and he lunged, pulled and ran attempting to get to his "spot." Needless to say, in my weakened condition, I was practically dragged walking far faster than my knee was willing. The goal was accomplished, but I am paying a real price for that right now. NOT a good thing.
I am finding that it is very easy to take on more than we can reasonably accomplish, but by doing so, put ourselves at huge risk of set backs or injury. Gotta let the guilt go - as I tell myself repeatedly day after day after day, REPEAT that mantra...
I totally get the mom guilt, having 4 kids of my own.
However, you were absolutely right to say no.
As an example, I am just 2 weeks out from my PKR. I have 3 dogs, one of whom is elderly, large, and needs to go out frequently due to medication for a cardiac condition. Yesterday afternoon, no one was around and he absolutely had to go out. I couldn't let him suffer and he will make himself sick before he will have a accident in the house, so me and my cane and Wagner on his leash, attempted to go out for him to relieve himself. He is usually very well behaved, but the urgency had him frantic and he lunged, pulled and ran attempting to get to his "spot." Needless to say, in my weakened condition, I was practically dragged walking far faster than my knee was willing. The goal was accomplished, but I am paying a real price for that right now. NOT a good thing.
I am finding that it is very easy to take on more than we can reasonably accomplish, but by doing so, put ourselves at huge risk of set backs or injury. Gotta let the guilt go - as I tell myself repeatedly day after day after day, REPEAT that mantra...
carousel66
graduate
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
I have 4 dogs and also a foster dog right now.
My mom could manage some of them but not all of them, and I understand that.
When I had my LTKR I sent my 2 youngest dogs that were going to be bored out of them minds to some of their doggie friends house to be baby sat.
I'm sure your son understands, if you were to fall or get hurt or even over-do because of his dog I'm sure he would feel horrible.
I have 4 dogs and also a foster dog right now.
My mom could manage some of them but not all of them, and I understand that.
When I had my LTKR I sent my 2 youngest dogs that were going to be bored out of them minds to some of their doggie friends house to be baby sat.
I'm sure your son understands, if you were to fall or get hurt or even over-do because of his dog I'm sure he would feel horrible.
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Obviously your son has never had major surgery and does not know what you have been going through! You absolutely did the right thing Abby! For your sake as well as the sake of your animals. None of you need that kind of stress right now.
I trained dogs for many years. I know exactly what you are saying about Charlie. He needs a firm hand and an owner with tons of energy and attention to give. Right now your attention is on you! Please don't feel guilty!
Obviously your son has never had major surgery and does not know what you have been going through! You absolutely did the right thing Abby! For your sake as well as the sake of your animals. None of you need that kind of stress right now.
I trained dogs for many years. I know exactly what you are saying about Charlie. He needs a firm hand and an owner with tons of energy and attention to give. Right now your attention is on you! Please don't feel guilty!
Bees Knees
senior
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
You did the right thing. I do underdstand the Mom guilt too. Right now we have the grand dog who is a spunky Lab. I can manage but she really needs my husband to provide the extra long:doggieshmooze: walks and energy.
You did the right thing. I do underdstand the Mom guilt too. Right now we have the grand dog who is a spunky Lab. I can manage but she really needs my husband to provide the extra long:doggieshmooze: walks and energy.
tarheel
member
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Abby,
We all understand the guilt, but no doubt you did the right thing. What makes many decisions difficult is that the right solution won't be popular. That doesn't change the fact that it's the right decision.
You have this Bonesmartie's total support!
Abby,
We all understand the guilt, but no doubt you did the right thing. What makes many decisions difficult is that the right solution won't be popular. That doesn't change the fact that it's the right decision.
You have this Bonesmartie's total support!
OP
OP
amberpep
Sr Bonesmartie
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Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Thank you all so much. I'm glad I'm not alone in this "mother guilt" thing.
I appreciate all your support...... it has really helped. I know I made the right decision.
abby
5/24/11
Thank you all so much. I'm glad I'm not alone in this "mother guilt" thing.
I appreciate all your support...... it has really helped. I know I made the right decision.
abby
5/24/11
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
You did do the right thing, hon. These things are hard, but try not to worry about it. In the scheme of life, not being able to do this one little thing for your son is really nothing. You'll have lots of other opportunities to thank him for his caring attention to you. Besides.....wasn't all that devotion sort of a payback for all the work you did raising him?:th_heehee:
You did do the right thing, hon. These things are hard, but try not to worry about it. In the scheme of life, not being able to do this one little thing for your son is really nothing. You'll have lots of other opportunities to thank him for his caring attention to you. Besides.....wasn't all that devotion sort of a payback for all the work you did raising him?:th_heehee:
ladydi8676
senior
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Hi Abby,
I agree you did th e right thing for sure. Even now after 8 months if my sister asks me to take her lab (very hyper) I need to be sure my husband is around otherwise he will pull me over and it is not worth a set back.
Hi Abby,
I agree you did th e right thing for sure. Even now after 8 months if my sister asks me to take her lab (very hyper) I need to be sure my husband is around otherwise he will pull me over and it is not worth a set back.
uktanny
graduate
Re: Feeling very sorry ....
Hi Abby, its so hard to say no to our family, I really understand that. I too love to be helpful and would always try to help any member of my family, but looking after another dog would be too much.
Well done for putting your health and you first, you don't want to set back your recovery
Take care Tan x
Hi Abby, its so hard to say no to our family, I really understand that. I too love to be helpful and would always try to help any member of my family, but looking after another dog would be too much.
Well done for putting your health and you first, you don't want to set back your recovery
Take care Tan x
FrogFeathers
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Re: Feeling very sorry ....
As a former dog-walker, current five-dog owner, and a mother, I'm with the others. You were right in saying no.
After my TKR, I didn't take my own dogs out for over a month. And when I did, I stayed on our deck and used voice commands with them. And they were none too happy. "Yay, we're off the leash! Wait, Mom wants us to listen to her?! Dang!"
And there's no way I could have taken care of someone else's dog!
I've had to say 'no' to my kids a lot because of this stupid knee thing. I'm finally to the point where I don't have to say no. And you'll get there.
As a former dog-walker, current five-dog owner, and a mother, I'm with the others. You were right in saying no.
After my TKR, I didn't take my own dogs out for over a month. And when I did, I stayed on our deck and used voice commands with them. And they were none too happy. "Yay, we're off the leash! Wait, Mom wants us to listen to her?! Dang!"
And there's no way I could have taken care of someone else's dog!
I've had to say 'no' to my kids a lot because of this stupid knee thing. I'm finally to the point where I don't have to say no. And you'll get there.
cotton1958
supremo
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Re: Feeling very sorry ....
I understand also, why you had to say no but don't want to. I sit for my daughter's 10 lb terrier/chihuahua mix, and he can tug.
But after I had a surgery a few years ago, I'd just gotten home and I walked my chow/lab mix, and she saw a shitzu dog, and she flew and I went behind her, and landed on my arm and wrist down to ankle etc. breaking wrist.
Love my dog, but when I do have to walk Reese, the larger dog, I have to be sure no dogs are out, that it's dark and I have to hold on so hard and squat to get some strength and leverage, my joints hurt later. She's getting older sadly, so I hate to not walk her. She should be walked more. Spouse is having a harder time lately too since spraining an ankle 2 months ago.
So in your case, it's not fair for your son's dog either as it needs walking too, not just potty walking, but distance walking.
I understand also, why you had to say no but don't want to. I sit for my daughter's 10 lb terrier/chihuahua mix, and he can tug.
But after I had a surgery a few years ago, I'd just gotten home and I walked my chow/lab mix, and she saw a shitzu dog, and she flew and I went behind her, and landed on my arm and wrist down to ankle etc. breaking wrist.
Love my dog, but when I do have to walk Reese, the larger dog, I have to be sure no dogs are out, that it's dark and I have to hold on so hard and squat to get some strength and leverage, my joints hurt later. She's getting older sadly, so I hate to not walk her. She should be walked more. Spouse is having a harder time lately too since spraining an ankle 2 months ago.
So in your case, it's not fair for your son's dog either as it needs walking too, not just potty walking, but distance walking.
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