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Queenie
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*humour!
THR 26 days and I need a hug.
- Thread starter Queenie
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Liphip
junior member
I am laughing out loud at the references to fruit fondling! My hubby could relate I'm sure! We just passed the 33 year mark and although he is not one to be overly emotionally available at times, he has stepped up to the plate during my recovery time. I have been pampered especially on work days when I am still served dinner in my recliner. Yes, my needs are being met but please pass the grapefruit to him!
We had a scare last night and I ended up driving him to the emergency room 25 miles away with chest pain. It wasn't a heart attack but it sure had the symptoms. He hates doctoring but I insisted we go telling him I didn't want to watch him to die in front of me. Only two weeks ago a man younger than he is did have a heart attack in our little town and didn't make it. Diagnosis, indigestion? At that point we didn't really care as long as it wasn't his heart. He had a painful night but feels a little better this morning.
Thanks for letting me go on. We have a busy weekend. Our kids are all grown but our oldest daughter is coming tonight for a visit with our 3year old grandson. He is a dear and I'm excited to see them. Little boy hugs are good for recovery.
Have a good weekend yourselves Queenie and hip hip hooray. I wonder where lodge lady is hanging out?
Here's to good sleep, flexible muscles, and future walks with no limp!
We had a scare last night and I ended up driving him to the emergency room 25 miles away with chest pain. It wasn't a heart attack but it sure had the symptoms. He hates doctoring but I insisted we go telling him I didn't want to watch him to die in front of me. Only two weeks ago a man younger than he is did have a heart attack in our little town and didn't make it. Diagnosis, indigestion? At that point we didn't really care as long as it wasn't his heart. He had a painful night but feels a little better this morning.
Thanks for letting me go on. We have a busy weekend. Our kids are all grown but our oldest daughter is coming tonight for a visit with our 3year old grandson. He is a dear and I'm excited to see them. Little boy hugs are good for recovery.
Have a good weekend yourselves Queenie and hip hip hooray. I wonder where lodge lady is hanging out?
Here's to good sleep, flexible muscles, and future walks with no limp!
hiphiphorray
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OK, let's talk fitness. What I'm about to share is the result of working with personal trainers and many years of research combined with trial and error. I'm not saying that it's the definitive guide, but I hope it helps. In a nutshell:
3500 calories equals one pound. The average adult woman burns somewhere around 1800-2000 calories per day, from just doing normal activities. You can lose weight by either reducing the number of calories you take in, increasing your activity, or both. (I like both.) When you think about the numbers, it makes sense that those "bananas-only" diets which promise you'll drop ten pounds in a week are utter nonsense. You'd have to decrease your caloric consumption by 35,000 calories, which means 5,000 calories per day over a one-week period. Unless you were living at Dunkin Donuts before and then switched to running triathalons in the Alps, creating that kind of deficit is virtually impossible. Instead, aim for losing 2-3 pounds per week.
You can cut your calories by reducing portion sizes and choosing lower calorie options. The portion size reduction is SO easy! Just cut out a third of what you eat. You might feel a little hungry for a day or two, but then you won't even notice. Eat more veggies to fill yourself up. Avoid the empty calories in sweets, alcohol and butter.
'All that said, it isn't just calories in/calories out. Your metabolism plays a role. That explains the person we all know who can eat whatever she wants and never gain a pound. There's a whole science behind the glycemic index (GI) and how your body metabolizes food, but it's too deep a subject to go into, here. Very simply put, low-GI foods make you feel fuller, longer, resulting in lower calorie consumption.
You have the same number of fat cells that you did when you were a kid, so the object is to shrink them. The first 5-10 pounds that you lose will be mostly water that was trapped in your cells.
So, we covered "calories in." Now let's talk about "calories out" through exercise. The concept behind High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) (that I mentioned in a previous post) is to get your target heart rate range up, let it come down and then repeat. The particular activity that you do is not that important, as long as you're exercising at 80-90% of your target heart rate zone on the "up" intervals. It's not just the calories that you burn during the workout that matter; it's the increase in your metabolism afterward that turns your body into a more efficient calorie-burning machine, more like that odious person who can eat whatever she wants to.
Queenie, I don't know if your hip is ready for HIIT intensity on a cross training machine, because the activity is probably weight bearing. A lot of doctors recommend a stationary bike for training after THR because it's easier on the hip and you have a lesser chance of slipping or falling. I'm also unsure about doing squats at this point unless your PT person or doctor OKs them. Squats put a lot of pressure on the lower extremities, and they're easy to do incorrectly. I would pick a HIIT exercise or two and do them with a PT to ensure the correct form, and then you can do them on your own, thereafter.
Here's a typical Tabata-type HIIT routine: warm up with a combo of light jogging, jumping jacks, forward alternating kicks and side-to-side lunges (not too deep, just a knee bend to get a stretch) for about 4 minutes. You'll feel your heart rate coming up, but you should still be able to hold a conversation without panting. Then, begin your first interval. You can choose 20 seconds of high-intensity activity, such as running in place with high knees, followed by a 10-second rest, repeated 4 times, or if you're on an exercise bike or machine, you can have a longer rest interval. I typically do one minute of high-intensity pedaling, following by 1-2 minutes of slow, easy pedaling. Here's the trick: during the high-intensity phase, go full out! You should be sweating, breathing heavily, and your heart rate should be well up into your high target zone (but not past it). You can check your heart rate during the low-intensity phase to ensure that you're not overdoing it. Be safe, but really push it. Get the lead out.
Then, repeat the interval 3-4 times, and follow it with 2-3 minutes of cooling down (easy jogging or pedaling). Ideally, the whole routine should last between 15-20 minutes, including the warmup and cool-down. That means you're really only doing intervals for 12-15 minutes. Don't do more! It doesn't help. You've probably guessed by now that you'll need a timer. I have a sports band that vibrates on my arm when it's time for the next rest or interval. You can adjust the intervals to different lengths. Or, use hubby with a timer or your kitchen clock.
In addition to the HIIT, consider weight training. Muscle burns more calories than fat, even at rest. That's why adding 20 minutes of basic weight training to your routine a few days per week will help to ramp up your efforts. Don't have weights? Use soup cans! Besides, nobody wants that floppy thing under the upper arm.
Also essential: get enough sleep, drink enough water and avoid skipping meals. Numerous studies have shown that ignoring any one of these three things can really sabotage your fitness efforts.
Measure your results by 1) how great you feel and 2) dress size or how your clothes fit. As we've said, muscle weighs more than fat, so I'd rather be a ripped 165-lb. person than a flabby 150-lb. person.
After reading what I just wrote, I am chomping at the bit to get back to all this as soon as my doctor clears it. Yesterday, I cleaned my house, Swiffered my floors, grocery shopped with the fiance and then went out for an appetizer at the pub. A week ago, I was in the hospital. Amazing! BTW, the fiance has one paw out of the dog house because he showed up with flowers, champagne and jewelry on V-Day, but it's still going to take some time for me to get over the man flu ridiculousness.
Good luck with your efforts and keep in mind a silver lining that I forgot to mention: doing the HIIT exercises really boosts your mood, and the effect lasts. Cheers! -HHH
3500 calories equals one pound. The average adult woman burns somewhere around 1800-2000 calories per day, from just doing normal activities. You can lose weight by either reducing the number of calories you take in, increasing your activity, or both. (I like both.) When you think about the numbers, it makes sense that those "bananas-only" diets which promise you'll drop ten pounds in a week are utter nonsense. You'd have to decrease your caloric consumption by 35,000 calories, which means 5,000 calories per day over a one-week period. Unless you were living at Dunkin Donuts before and then switched to running triathalons in the Alps, creating that kind of deficit is virtually impossible. Instead, aim for losing 2-3 pounds per week.
You can cut your calories by reducing portion sizes and choosing lower calorie options. The portion size reduction is SO easy! Just cut out a third of what you eat. You might feel a little hungry for a day or two, but then you won't even notice. Eat more veggies to fill yourself up. Avoid the empty calories in sweets, alcohol and butter.
'All that said, it isn't just calories in/calories out. Your metabolism plays a role. That explains the person we all know who can eat whatever she wants and never gain a pound. There's a whole science behind the glycemic index (GI) and how your body metabolizes food, but it's too deep a subject to go into, here. Very simply put, low-GI foods make you feel fuller, longer, resulting in lower calorie consumption.
You have the same number of fat cells that you did when you were a kid, so the object is to shrink them. The first 5-10 pounds that you lose will be mostly water that was trapped in your cells.
So, we covered "calories in." Now let's talk about "calories out" through exercise. The concept behind High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) (that I mentioned in a previous post) is to get your target heart rate range up, let it come down and then repeat. The particular activity that you do is not that important, as long as you're exercising at 80-90% of your target heart rate zone on the "up" intervals. It's not just the calories that you burn during the workout that matter; it's the increase in your metabolism afterward that turns your body into a more efficient calorie-burning machine, more like that odious person who can eat whatever she wants to.
Queenie, I don't know if your hip is ready for HIIT intensity on a cross training machine, because the activity is probably weight bearing. A lot of doctors recommend a stationary bike for training after THR because it's easier on the hip and you have a lesser chance of slipping or falling. I'm also unsure about doing squats at this point unless your PT person or doctor OKs them. Squats put a lot of pressure on the lower extremities, and they're easy to do incorrectly. I would pick a HIIT exercise or two and do them with a PT to ensure the correct form, and then you can do them on your own, thereafter.
Here's a typical Tabata-type HIIT routine: warm up with a combo of light jogging, jumping jacks, forward alternating kicks and side-to-side lunges (not too deep, just a knee bend to get a stretch) for about 4 minutes. You'll feel your heart rate coming up, but you should still be able to hold a conversation without panting. Then, begin your first interval. You can choose 20 seconds of high-intensity activity, such as running in place with high knees, followed by a 10-second rest, repeated 4 times, or if you're on an exercise bike or machine, you can have a longer rest interval. I typically do one minute of high-intensity pedaling, following by 1-2 minutes of slow, easy pedaling. Here's the trick: during the high-intensity phase, go full out! You should be sweating, breathing heavily, and your heart rate should be well up into your high target zone (but not past it). You can check your heart rate during the low-intensity phase to ensure that you're not overdoing it. Be safe, but really push it. Get the lead out.
Then, repeat the interval 3-4 times, and follow it with 2-3 minutes of cooling down (easy jogging or pedaling). Ideally, the whole routine should last between 15-20 minutes, including the warmup and cool-down. That means you're really only doing intervals for 12-15 minutes. Don't do more! It doesn't help. You've probably guessed by now that you'll need a timer. I have a sports band that vibrates on my arm when it's time for the next rest or interval. You can adjust the intervals to different lengths. Or, use hubby with a timer or your kitchen clock.
In addition to the HIIT, consider weight training. Muscle burns more calories than fat, even at rest. That's why adding 20 minutes of basic weight training to your routine a few days per week will help to ramp up your efforts. Don't have weights? Use soup cans! Besides, nobody wants that floppy thing under the upper arm.
Also essential: get enough sleep, drink enough water and avoid skipping meals. Numerous studies have shown that ignoring any one of these three things can really sabotage your fitness efforts.
Measure your results by 1) how great you feel and 2) dress size or how your clothes fit. As we've said, muscle weighs more than fat, so I'd rather be a ripped 165-lb. person than a flabby 150-lb. person.
After reading what I just wrote, I am chomping at the bit to get back to all this as soon as my doctor clears it. Yesterday, I cleaned my house, Swiffered my floors, grocery shopped with the fiance and then went out for an appetizer at the pub. A week ago, I was in the hospital. Amazing! BTW, the fiance has one paw out of the dog house because he showed up with flowers, champagne and jewelry on V-Day, but it's still going to take some time for me to get over the man flu ridiculousness.
Good luck with your efforts and keep in mind a silver lining that I forgot to mention: doing the HIIT exercises really boosts your mood, and the effect lasts. Cheers! -HHH
OP
OP
Queenie
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Dearest Hippo - thank you, thank you, thank you! 
I'm so touched that you could be bothered to put all that invaluable information together for me(and anyone else who's reading this). I have read it over several times and I hoping my OS will approve it as my new exercise regime when I see him on March 4th.
I'm pleased your fiancé(have you named a date yet?) has one foot out of the dog house, you had me a wee bit worried for a bit there. I've come to the conclusion that women are warriors and men need us!.............yes they do!
My husband wrote a piece on FaceBook on Fri. I don't seem to be able to cut and paste it on here. He's asleep at the moment, so I'll see if he can sort it for me later. Anyway, it's a very funny post that basically says although he doesn't think my job(1950's styled housewife) is particularly stressful, it is on the other hand a completely thankless job. He goes on to say that he's never going to come home again and ask me what I've done today and what's for tea, he wouldn't want to be a housewife and BIG CAPITAL LETTERS how much he appreciates me!! HALLELUJAH!!!.........I've waited 16yrs to hear that. It was worth every second of pain!
Liphip - hope your husband is feeling better. You poor things, what a worry. I think a lot of people have rushed to A&E with indigestion. The symptoms are exactly the same as a heart attack. I can't imagine how you must have felt at the time. Still, that's a pretty good story to tell at dinner parties!
I'm sure a visit From your Grandson will cheer you up no end. 3yr olds are fab. I love the little things they come out with and their innocent view on the world.
I'm not entirely sure where the elusive lodge lady is hanging out. I don't think she has her own thread. It would be great to check in with her though. Hope she's ok and making steady progress.
I'm going to try driving today for the first time with my new hip. I'm only going up and down the lane to test my Emergency Stop prowess.
Keep smiling warriors
Queenie xxx
I'm so touched that you could be bothered to put all that invaluable information together for me(and anyone else who's reading this). I have read it over several times and I hoping my OS will approve it as my new exercise regime when I see him on March 4th.
I'm pleased your fiancé(have you named a date yet?) has one foot out of the dog house, you had me a wee bit worried for a bit there. I've come to the conclusion that women are warriors and men need us!.............yes they do!
My husband wrote a piece on FaceBook on Fri. I don't seem to be able to cut and paste it on here. He's asleep at the moment, so I'll see if he can sort it for me later. Anyway, it's a very funny post that basically says although he doesn't think my job(1950's styled housewife) is particularly stressful, it is on the other hand a completely thankless job. He goes on to say that he's never going to come home again and ask me what I've done today and what's for tea, he wouldn't want to be a housewife and BIG CAPITAL LETTERS how much he appreciates me!! HALLELUJAH!!!.........I've waited 16yrs to hear that. It was worth every second of pain!
Liphip - hope your husband is feeling better. You poor things, what a worry. I think a lot of people have rushed to A&E with indigestion. The symptoms are exactly the same as a heart attack. I can't imagine how you must have felt at the time. Still, that's a pretty good story to tell at dinner parties!
I'm sure a visit From your Grandson will cheer you up no end. 3yr olds are fab. I love the little things they come out with and their innocent view on the world.
I'm not entirely sure where the elusive lodge lady is hanging out. I don't think she has her own thread. It would be great to check in with her though. Hope she's ok and making steady progress.
I'm going to try driving today for the first time with my new hip. I'm only going up and down the lane to test my Emergency Stop prowess.
Keep smiling warriors
Queenie xxx
Hi my dear Queenie, so lovely to read your updates that warm our hearts and fill our cups with laughter again. I think you are doing marvelous and as the wise people say, I don't think we need to be surgeons to realize that it likely very expected that we would all still have aches and pains and niggles and stiffness after such major surgery . I just wish I could fast forward us all to six months from now and we were all comparing holiday notes instead if hip notes 
i am four weeks out in a couple of days and I can't do a straight leg raise ( is this where you lie flat on your back and try and lift the leg up?) for the life of me on the op leg. But who cares , that exercise won't change my life , just want to walk a good distance without pain and eventually without a limp and I'll be the happiest girl .
I think you are doing fabulous going to a recital for2 hrs, now that's the power of love
Overall is your pain less than pre op?
i am four weeks out in a couple of days and I can't do a straight leg raise ( is this where you lie flat on your back and try and lift the leg up?) for the life of me on the op leg. But who cares , that exercise won't change my life , just want to walk a good distance without pain and eventually without a limp and I'll be the happiest girl .I think you are doing fabulous going to a recital for2 hrs, now that's the power of love
Overall is your pain less than pre op?
OP
OP
Queenie
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Hi stargirl
Your sounding more chipper......got your mono back!
Don't worry about those straight leg raises. I couldn't do them either at your stage and so I phoned my physio and she told me that I shouldn't be doing them until I was at least 6wks post op. I have been doing them for a few days now...........really tough, only a few at a time........slowly slowly catchy monkey! But you shouldn't do them until you've spoken to a professional. You've also had a different approach to me, which might make a difference. I promise you, they will come in time. Don't push your body into doing something it doesn't want to do. It's still early days.
In answer to your question.......Is my pain better than pre op pain? Well I won't know until I go for a good long walk. Let me explain.........
Although my pain levels were never a constant 10, I would have ok weeks and very bad weeks. I had osteoarthritis in both hips. On the very bad weeks I had to use a cane. I could stroll around town in relatively low pain but whenever I went on a dog walk for longer than 20mins I would find myself limping home in agony. Dancing, funnily enough has never been a problem(thank goodness). So I made the decision to have a better quality of life and fitness now, rather than wait til I was 60 and regret not doing it earlier.
At the moment the only pain I have on walking is soft tissue, muscle pain. So fingers crossed all will be well.
I'm still sleeping on my back. I've tried sleeping on my operated side but its soooo painful, therefore still not getting much sleep. I keep threatening to have a little drive in my van but as yet it hasn't happened. I don't drive an automatic and I must be able to do an emergency stop. Im a very confident driver but I dont feel strong enough to do this at the mo. I'm hoping my husband will take me out this week. I figure that seeing as driving is such a milestone it will make me feel more positive about my recovery.
Onwards and upwards Warriors.......onwards and upwards!!
Queenie xxx
Your sounding more chipper......got your mono back!
Don't worry about those straight leg raises. I couldn't do them either at your stage and so I phoned my physio and she told me that I shouldn't be doing them until I was at least 6wks post op. I have been doing them for a few days now...........really tough, only a few at a time........slowly slowly catchy monkey! But you shouldn't do them until you've spoken to a professional. You've also had a different approach to me, which might make a difference. I promise you, they will come in time. Don't push your body into doing something it doesn't want to do. It's still early days.
In answer to your question.......Is my pain better than pre op pain? Well I won't know until I go for a good long walk. Let me explain.........
Although my pain levels were never a constant 10, I would have ok weeks and very bad weeks. I had osteoarthritis in both hips. On the very bad weeks I had to use a cane. I could stroll around town in relatively low pain but whenever I went on a dog walk for longer than 20mins I would find myself limping home in agony. Dancing, funnily enough has never been a problem(thank goodness). So I made the decision to have a better quality of life and fitness now, rather than wait til I was 60 and regret not doing it earlier.
At the moment the only pain I have on walking is soft tissue, muscle pain. So fingers crossed all will be well.
I'm still sleeping on my back. I've tried sleeping on my operated side but its soooo painful, therefore still not getting much sleep. I keep threatening to have a little drive in my van but as yet it hasn't happened. I don't drive an automatic and I must be able to do an emergency stop. Im a very confident driver but I dont feel strong enough to do this at the mo. I'm hoping my husband will take me out this week. I figure that seeing as driving is such a milestone it will make me feel more positive about my recovery.
Onwards and upwards Warriors.......onwards and upwards!!
Queenie xxx
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Queenie
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Ha ha ha........typing skills are rubbish!
*You're
*mojo
Xxx
*You're
*mojo
Xxx
millie4162
senior
You are so right Queenie. I think it's hard to go so slowly but it pays in the end. I have have had to go back to 3weeks post op and feeling very frustrated with things. On the plus side all my patience seems to be paying off.
At least when the sun is shining the world always seems to be a much better place to be in ;)
At least when the sun is shining the world always seems to be a much better place to be in ;)
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Queenie
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Dear All
I'm 7wks post op tomorrow, so thought I'd give you the lowdown on my progress.
I drove my van today.......YEEHAAA!!! Felt a bit weird seeing as I haven't driven for such a long time. But I soon got used it it and felt back in the human race, back to normal. Such a good feeling. So now I'll be able to drive my daughter to school without having to rely on my husband. Being able to drive is going to give me the freedom I've been craving for the last few weeks. It is most definitely a step in the right direction.
Although I still feel a bit delicate, I can pretty much do all the housework.......cleaning, hoovering, dusting, changing beds, washing etc. it just takes 3 times as long and I have to stop for the odd break here and there. I don't feel confident to go for a dog walk on my own yet because I can't keep an eye on a dog and concentrate on what I'm doing at the same time.
I can walk around the house(very slight limp) with no cane, but still need a cane out and about. Two reasons for this 1. Still need a bit of extra support. 2. The general public give me a wide birth and hold doors open etc . I will drop the cane when I feel I don't need a wide birth anymore!!
I'm still not sleeping through the night(not sure that I ever will now!), and I can't lie on my operated side because its still very tender(I am a tender soul don't you know.)
Walking downstairs is fine but walking upstairs requires a little more effort and concentration.
Josephine....A question for you. When can I expect the swelling around my rump(incision scar) to go down? It has reduced significantly since the op but none of my jeans fit. Not even the baggy ones! I have put on 7Lbs in weight but most of that has gone on my top half. I really don't want to have to buy any new clothes.
So all in all things are looking up for the old Queenster. I'm now waiting to see my OS and hoping that he'll lift all restrictions and my life will finally feel like its getting back to normal. I know I've now got some serious rehab in the form of exercise ahead of me but both my body and mind are ready for it so..........Bring it on!!!
Sending all you lovely Bonesmart Warriors happy, healing thoughts.
Queenie xxx
I'm 7wks post op tomorrow, so thought I'd give you the lowdown on my progress.
I drove my van today.......YEEHAAA!!! Felt a bit weird seeing as I haven't driven for such a long time. But I soon got used it it and felt back in the human race, back to normal. Such a good feeling. So now I'll be able to drive my daughter to school without having to rely on my husband. Being able to drive is going to give me the freedom I've been craving for the last few weeks. It is most definitely a step in the right direction.
Although I still feel a bit delicate, I can pretty much do all the housework.......cleaning, hoovering, dusting, changing beds, washing etc. it just takes 3 times as long and I have to stop for the odd break here and there. I don't feel confident to go for a dog walk on my own yet because I can't keep an eye on a dog and concentrate on what I'm doing at the same time.
I can walk around the house(very slight limp) with no cane, but still need a cane out and about. Two reasons for this 1. Still need a bit of extra support. 2. The general public give me a wide birth and hold doors open etc . I will drop the cane when I feel I don't need a wide birth anymore!!
I'm still not sleeping through the night(not sure that I ever will now!), and I can't lie on my operated side because its still very tender(I am a tender soul don't you know.)
Walking downstairs is fine but walking upstairs requires a little more effort and concentration.
Josephine....A question for you. When can I expect the swelling around my rump(incision scar) to go down? It has reduced significantly since the op but none of my jeans fit. Not even the baggy ones! I have put on 7Lbs in weight but most of that has gone on my top half. I really don't want to have to buy any new clothes.
So all in all things are looking up for the old Queenster. I'm now waiting to see my OS and hoping that he'll lift all restrictions and my life will finally feel like its getting back to normal. I know I've now got some serious rehab in the form of exercise ahead of me but both my body and mind are ready for it so..........Bring it on!!!
Sending all you lovely Bonesmart Warriors happy, healing thoughts.
Queenie xxx
OP
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Queenie
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Yaaaaaaaayyy Queenie!!!!! you sound like you are progressing fantastic!, and what a joy to be in your van again !!!! Our independence is everything isn't it!!?!. I miss my little car so much ! :( all in good time . I had delight yesterday telling my or that 'the tortoise won the race' courtesy of some gorgeous soul on bonesmart quoting this . She looked at me a little strange and smiled , whatever I know it's true and comparing individual journeys is no indication of how we should be doing . Whilst I am only 35 my muscle atrophy and avascular necrosis was very severe , I don't care if I need an additional couple of weeks on the cane , perfection not progression
Have a wonderful day beautiful lady and keep updating you know I love your posts !!!! Xxx
you sound like you are progressing fantastic!, and what a joy to be in your van again !!!! Our independence is everything isn't it!!?!. I miss my little car so much ! :( all in good time . I had delight yesterday telling my or that 'the tortoise won the race' courtesy of some gorgeous soul on bonesmart quoting this . She looked at me a little strange and smiled , whatever I know it's true and comparing individual journeys is no indication of how we should be doing . Whilst I am only 35 my muscle atrophy and avascular necrosis was very severe , I don't care if I need an additional couple of weeks on the cane , perfection not progression Have a wonderful day beautiful lady and keep updating you know I love your posts !!!! Xxx
Josephine
NURSE DIRECTOR EMERITA
I have? Can't be any worse than mine!
hiphiphorray
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Congrats on the driving, Queenie! That must be a nice feeling, and it must give you such a boost.
Oops, I realized that I ignored your question about my fiance and I "setting a date." Sigh. The truth is that I've had rather rotten luck in the husband department. You could almost write a Country & Western song out of it.The first one walked out and left us high and dry when my son became chronically ill. 'Said he just couldn't hack it. The second one grew another head after we were three years' married, started drinking, lost his job because he couldn't keep his temper and then maxxed out my credit cards. When he began beating the children, I had the b_stard arrested and promptly threw him out on his behind. After all that marital misery, I'm not sure that I ever want to set a date with my current fiance. You know what they say...twice bitten. You, on the other hand, picked quite a winner! I love his appreciation of you, even though it took all those years for him to say it. Awesome.
I totally agree about the housework taking three times as long, about waiting to walk the dog and about using a cane when going out. Good sense, all around.
Cheers, and keep up the good stuff!
HHH
Oops, I realized that I ignored your question about my fiance and I "setting a date." Sigh. The truth is that I've had rather rotten luck in the husband department. You could almost write a Country & Western song out of it.The first one walked out and left us high and dry when my son became chronically ill. 'Said he just couldn't hack it. The second one grew another head after we were three years' married, started drinking, lost his job because he couldn't keep his temper and then maxxed out my credit cards. When he began beating the children, I had the b_stard arrested and promptly threw him out on his behind. After all that marital misery, I'm not sure that I ever want to set a date with my current fiance. You know what they say...twice bitten. You, on the other hand, picked quite a winner! I love his appreciation of you, even though it took all those years for him to say it. Awesome.
I totally agree about the housework taking three times as long, about waiting to walk the dog and about using a cane when going out. Good sense, all around.
Cheers, and keep up the good stuff!
HHH
OP
OP
Queenie
member
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2009
- Messages
- 187
- Age
- 59
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Female
- Country
- United Kingdom
Hi there all!
Although I feel I've come through the other side just thought I'd share the fact that I had a complete meltdown at the weekend(tears, snot, wanting to throw myself off a bridge, packed my bags to leave.......oh yes....you heard it first here people)..........See?.....I AM human after all!!........Actually I come from North Devon, so I'm not sure if that counts.
I thought I was doing so well. But it came up without warning and completely bit me very hard on the old rump. My husband said he saw it coming. I think looking back, I can put it down to the following:-
Lack of sleep.
Not being able to see OS til 10wks, so no restrictions have been lifted(very frustrating).
Going a wee bit stir crazy.
Rump is still very sore.
None of my clothes fit and refuse to purchase more as I already have enough clothes to open a shop!!
Get knackered just running the loo brush around the bowl.
ALL my wonderful family and friends have been great but after 7wks I'm not a novelty anymore.
And the real biggie..............I've realised that my husband and kids can cope without me. On one hand this is fantastic news but its been very hard for this 1950's Styled Housewife who has devoted herself to her family for 15yrs. I know they'll always need me. I really needed my mum at the weekend. But they can survive without me.
I never thought I'd be a victim of this Mid Life Crisis mullarky..........I don't wish I was younger, I haven't started wearing inappropriate clothing, I have no desire to pump botulism into my wrinkles and I haven't started winking at much younger men!! But........I have started thinking.......crikey, I am no longer the centre of my children's world. What am I going to do with my life now? It's been a bit of a wake up call. Now that I'm no longer a sobbing, snotty mess, I have started thinking about all the good I can do out there which has put me back in a much more positive frame of mind.
I guess what I'm trying to say to anyone reading this is that, yes, for most, this is a real roller coaster of a journey but the sun is always shining even when it's pouring with rain(it is you know). One of my favourite sayings, and I'm sure you all know it is......'LIFE ISNT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS; ITS ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN'. Now ain't that beautiful?
Oh hiphiphorray - you don't arf pick 'em Mrs!! Don't get me wrong. In the eight year split that Bass and I weren't together I chose some very unsavoury suitors. What I was thinking goodness only knows. My Mum and I were reminiscing about a few of them at the weekend. Don't sound dissimilar to the fabulous choices you made!!
Sorry, I don't mean to sound flippant but quite often the best way to deal with past horrors is with humour, as you seem to know rather well. I can only imagine how dreadful things must of been for you with a chronically ill child and a husband that can't cope. Another sign of your immense strength.
Hope you're not tiring yourself out with too much work.
Keep on keeping on Warriors!!
Queenie xxx
Although I feel I've come through the other side just thought I'd share the fact that I had a complete meltdown at the weekend(tears, snot, wanting to throw myself off a bridge, packed my bags to leave.......oh yes....you heard it first here people)..........See?.....I AM human after all!!........Actually I come from North Devon, so I'm not sure if that counts.
I thought I was doing so well. But it came up without warning and completely bit me very hard on the old rump. My husband said he saw it coming. I think looking back, I can put it down to the following:-
Lack of sleep.
Not being able to see OS til 10wks, so no restrictions have been lifted(very frustrating).
Going a wee bit stir crazy.
Rump is still very sore.
None of my clothes fit and refuse to purchase more as I already have enough clothes to open a shop!!
Get knackered just running the loo brush around the bowl.
ALL my wonderful family and friends have been great but after 7wks I'm not a novelty anymore.
And the real biggie..............I've realised that my husband and kids can cope without me. On one hand this is fantastic news but its been very hard for this 1950's Styled Housewife who has devoted herself to her family for 15yrs. I know they'll always need me. I really needed my mum at the weekend. But they can survive without me.
I never thought I'd be a victim of this Mid Life Crisis mullarky..........I don't wish I was younger, I haven't started wearing inappropriate clothing, I have no desire to pump botulism into my wrinkles and I haven't started winking at much younger men!! But........I have started thinking.......crikey, I am no longer the centre of my children's world. What am I going to do with my life now? It's been a bit of a wake up call. Now that I'm no longer a sobbing, snotty mess, I have started thinking about all the good I can do out there which has put me back in a much more positive frame of mind.
I guess what I'm trying to say to anyone reading this is that, yes, for most, this is a real roller coaster of a journey but the sun is always shining even when it's pouring with rain(it is you know). One of my favourite sayings, and I'm sure you all know it is......'LIFE ISNT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS; ITS ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN'. Now ain't that beautiful?
Oh hiphiphorray - you don't arf pick 'em Mrs!! Don't get me wrong. In the eight year split that Bass and I weren't together I chose some very unsavoury suitors. What I was thinking goodness only knows. My Mum and I were reminiscing about a few of them at the weekend. Don't sound dissimilar to the fabulous choices you made!!
Sorry, I don't mean to sound flippant but quite often the best way to deal with past horrors is with humour, as you seem to know rather well. I can only imagine how dreadful things must of been for you with a chronically ill child and a husband that can't cope. Another sign of your immense strength.
Hope you're not tiring yourself out with too much work.
Keep on keeping on Warriors!!
Queenie xxx
Nannyannie
senior
Oh wow - I am so lucky with my lovely husband (44 years married in April) who tells me often that he loves me! When I reached my mid-forties, children not needing me at home full-time, etc. he supported me while I went to University for 2 years to upgrade my HNC in Chemistry (passed 1970 - I worked in Pharmaceutical research until I had my 2nd son and nursery fees became too dear) to Bachelor of Education (Physical Science) and be a teacher! Beat my oldest son to Uni by 1 year and had nearly 20 years of teaching until the painful hip won. I may try and do a bit of supply or 1:1 tutoring when I feel recovered.
Anyway, you don't have to do anything so drastic - once you are driving again you could volunteer for all sorts of things if Devon is like Kent, WRVS are always asking for drivers, schools love people to help with reading or clubs...
I could go on, the world is yours!
Best wishes Anne
Anyway, you don't have to do anything so drastic - once you are driving again you could volunteer for all sorts of things if Devon is like Kent, WRVS are always asking for drivers, schools love people to help with reading or clubs...
I could go on, the world is yours!
Best wishes Anne
hiphiphorray
member
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2013
- Messages
- 112
- Age
- 62
- Gender
- Female
Great post, Queenie, and once again you made me laugh out loud.As a professional writer, I can spot talent when I see it. Might you consider writing as a new "something to do with your life?" I believe you'd be quite successful.
I can totally understand your meltdown. We just don't realize how much stir-craziness and lack of decent sleep affect us until we're tossed into situations like this one. A friend stopped by yesterday for tea and, when she left, I realized that I had talked her head completely off, the poor dear. It's like I was starving for contact with "the outside world." She took it rather well. (I am better blessed with friends than mates!)
Speaking of mates, thank you for saying that you've had a few unsavoury suitors in your past, as well. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. And yes, I cope with past difficulties by throwing humour at them, too. My sisters and I recently joked about making a parlor game in which we had to match a neurosis to each man in our collective set of former mates (they've picked some real doozies, too). I once found one of my middle sister's husbands in my kitchen, stuffing ball point pens up his nose. He was a magician, so I suppose it was one of his tricks, but I wrote with only pencils for a while after that. Another ex insisted on walking around the house completely nude. He donned clothing when guests came, but I always found it uncomfortable to select a chair, over there.
I'm happy to hear that you've returned to your usual, unsnotty, sunny frame of mind! Your meltdown probably did you a world of good.
Cheers,
HHH
I can totally understand your meltdown. We just don't realize how much stir-craziness and lack of decent sleep affect us until we're tossed into situations like this one. A friend stopped by yesterday for tea and, when she left, I realized that I had talked her head completely off, the poor dear. It's like I was starving for contact with "the outside world." She took it rather well. (I am better blessed with friends than mates!)
Speaking of mates, thank you for saying that you've had a few unsavoury suitors in your past, as well. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. And yes, I cope with past difficulties by throwing humour at them, too. My sisters and I recently joked about making a parlor game in which we had to match a neurosis to each man in our collective set of former mates (they've picked some real doozies, too). I once found one of my middle sister's husbands in my kitchen, stuffing ball point pens up his nose. He was a magician, so I suppose it was one of his tricks, but I wrote with only pencils for a while after that. Another ex insisted on walking around the house completely nude. He donned clothing when guests came, but I always found it uncomfortable to select a chair, over there.
I'm happy to hear that you've returned to your usual, unsnotty, sunny frame of mind! Your meltdown probably did you a world of good.
Cheers,
HHH
bottomshollow
Former BoneSmart staff member
Liphip
junior member
Queenie! I love your transparency! How did you manage to sum up all our frustration with healing in one post let alone how to adjust to growing children and their ever ending changing needs. Please don't despair, dear Queenie, you are a very talented lady. I am amazed at the comfort you have been spreading around the BoneSmart site some of it to yours truly. Comedy? Writing? Golf? Volunteering? Don't let this bump in the road derail you!
You will move through this and beyond. Give your body the time it needs to recover and then watch out world! Day by day, week by week, we're gonna have a fabulous spring!
You will move through this and beyond. Give your body the time it needs to recover and then watch out world! Day by day, week by week, we're gonna have a fabulous spring!
OP
OP
Queenie
member
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2009
- Messages
- 187
- Age
- 59
- Location
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Female
- Country
- United Kingdom
Crikey O'Reilly ladies...........What would I do without you?
bottomshollow, Liphip and hiphiphorray, thank you for your posts. I do feel a bit manic at the moment and find myself swinging from tears to laughter and back again quite a lot these days. Bottomshollow and Liphip your kind, inspirational words of encouragement made me cry(in a good way....fret not!!) and Hippo..........well Hippo, you never fail to make me laugh. I hope that man of yours appreciates how marvellous you are. You are totally marvellous. I don't know what kind of writing you do exactly but I think you should use your honesty and openness to your advantage and write a book. As long as you let me know the name you write under so that I can purchase said book(a signed copy of course), then boast to all my friends about my marvellous cyber pal!
Sending a big thank you out to all who have communicated with me. Shared problems and funny stories, kind thoughts and love.......thank you from the heart of my well rounded, tender rump. I can't imagine how I would've got through this without you. You are all rather wonderful.......and don't you forget it!!
Big love and happy thoughts
Queenie xxx
bottomshollow, Liphip and hiphiphorray, thank you for your posts. I do feel a bit manic at the moment and find myself swinging from tears to laughter and back again quite a lot these days. Bottomshollow and Liphip your kind, inspirational words of encouragement made me cry(in a good way....fret not!!) and Hippo..........well Hippo, you never fail to make me laugh. I hope that man of yours appreciates how marvellous you are. You are totally marvellous. I don't know what kind of writing you do exactly but I think you should use your honesty and openness to your advantage and write a book. As long as you let me know the name you write under so that I can purchase said book(a signed copy of course), then boast to all my friends about my marvellous cyber pal!
Sending a big thank you out to all who have communicated with me. Shared problems and funny stories, kind thoughts and love.......thank you from the heart of my well rounded, tender rump. I can't imagine how I would've got through this without you. You are all rather wonderful.......and don't you forget it!!
Big love and happy thoughts
Queenie xxx
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