TKR Woohoo! Now I've got two!!

[Jebsw]

Hello all,
I know I'm going to sound rather spoiled and whiny, so I apologize in advance.

As many of you know, I'm really concerned about work. When I had my first knee done in February, it was very slow to heal, no problems,just really very slow. So my sympathetic surgeon ended up eventually writing notes that allowed me to take a full semester (5 months) off from teaching. The next knee was in August, during the summer holidays. It's eight weeks now, and I know many of you are long back at work at this point. But I also know I'm SO not ready. I read TheHistorian who often says he went back to the classroom too early. My earliest date for return is in another few weeks, so I have time. I should mention that I also had major wrist surgery in the summer of 2011, and was going to physio for that til the day before my first TKR. So I had three biggies in 13 months. I just feel tired to the core, beyond just the knees.

I should also mention that the administration at my school has treated me beyond badly while I've been off, for no reason other than that I've been off; everyone I tell is aghast, as in jaw-dropping "who treats people like that?" and "can you change schools?" and "can you sue or something?" badly. So in addition to the physical, there's a lot of emotional baggage surrounding my return. (wrong time of year to change schools, my now-former position is one that sees few openings, etc. ). So I am struggling with trying to separate those two, physical and emotional.

Sorry, this is getting long...

So today I went to see my GP, mainly because of stomach issues: ulcer? reaction to all the meds? ??. But I had hoped to discuss this too, because she knows me well. (Oh yeah, also am on meds for depression.) Anyway, she wasn't in a good mood, so she basically said she watched me walk from my car and it was much better than pre-surgery (that's true and that's good), but because I am only taking percocet occassionally and only in the evenings, (so I can drive), and Tylenol extra strength during the day, that means I'm ready to go back. She also said, and this seems anti-BoneSmart, that if it hurts to do something, it just means I should be doing it a lot more because I'm deconditioned. I know I'm deconditioned, but does the other part make sense? Went to PT after that, and she scoffed at the idea of my being anywhere near ready.

Anyway, when I left the docotor's and got back into my car, I burst into tears, which took my by surprise. I haven't seen the surgeon since staples came out, but I finally see him next week. His original note allows leeway for return, but it needs further notes from him.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. Maybe I'm just venting. Thanks for listening.
j

 

[Jacky48]

J, venting is good, don't worry about that, vent all you want and need to. If your OS will give you an extension for going back to work then great, see that he will, don't forget he works for you.
As for the administration at work, don't worry about what they dish out, when they are in your shoes they will see things in a different light. Putting pressure on you, only effects you and they know it, it's a feather in their cap if it works and you come back because of their pressure on you. Work on your OS to see things your way, and the best of luck to you! I look forward to reading that you had a great outcome on this issue.

Stay well and stay positive my friend!

 

[Debbie_joints]

Awww, Hugs Jebsw. I am so glad I don't have to deal with a boss, well, I do, but married to him...LOL We are self employed with a dairy farm and I do the books. Did it surprise you that the doc watched you walk in from your car?

 

[Dhare63]

Oh J, sorry you are going through this. First, you are not being whiny, and you are far from spoiled. You are entitled to your feelings and perspective.

I know all to well the feeling of being mistreated at work. For 3 years in my prior job my boss made my life a living hell. The toxic environment will do a number on you both emotionally and sometimes physically. If you can't change jobs upon return, maybe you could stick it out until you can find another position. I know that's easier to say than do.

As for your gp, she isn't a specialist and hopefully has no bearing on your going back to work. Hopefully your OS who knows your case well by now, will work with you on a return to work strategy that makes sense. Teaching is very demanding in all ways, and you need to be well in order to be effective. See what he says and let him know where you are at and enlist your pt to provide feedback on her assessment of where you are at. You know instinctively that the gp is off base. We work smarter, not harder here. You aren't training your knee for a race, you are recovering from 3 major surgeries, there is a huge difference.

I am amazed at all you have been through in such a short time. You are a very strong person and brave to deal with these health issues all at once basically. Take some credit and realize that you have accomplished a lot. And having a breakdown was probably long overdue.

I know my words don't mean much. I just want you to know you are well thought of and kind in every way, at least from my vantage point.

Be well and vent away, we are here for you.

Dawn

 

[Nanners]

Giant hugs sweetie!! I am so glad I no longer work, or I know I would be feeling much as you are. I was laid off this past January, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I have now applied for social security disability as with all my health issues, I just can't do it anymore.

I agree, talk to your OS. I am sure he will extend you. And do not go back if you do not feel up to it. Don't let the bullies at your work make you feel bad. They have no idea what you have been thru. Big hugs!

 

[Jebsw]

Thanks!
Jacky, unfortunately, I think they don't want me back. My department head doesn't like me because I have more experience and qualifications than she does and she therefore sees me as a threat. She also prefers the young, new teachers she hires so she can mold them to advance her career: I'm a threat there as I'm too old and stubborn to be molded...or interested in moving up the career ladder, which she also sees as a threat. Idiot. Plus my former library technician doesn't like me, again, because I don't bend to her whims, as I'm supposed to be her boss, not vice versa. She sees that as a threat; she spreads vicious rumors and tells outright lies. Idiot. Really, I'm usually pretty mild mannered at work! And I am pretty darned popular with the students and higher-ups (bragging, oops.)

 

[Jebsw]

Dawn,
Your words mean an awful lot! Thank you. How did you cope for three years?!

I hope my OS will be more open to discussion, anyway. Last knee, I was braced for return (pardon the pun) and he suggested we "blow off the rest of the semester" so I could get stronger for this more recent TKR. Another reason I love him! Did I mention he helped me with my broken ankle a few months before the wrist thing? He was also very caring as I was grieving the loss of my mother in the midst of all this.
I have actually looked at different careers, but my heart isn't there. I love working with teenagers, even though English is a rather esoteric subject these days. I absolutley love(d) being in the library too.I like the parts where I get to help and support the kids, in other ways, or I hope I do. I just don't like the mean grown ups. Tx

 

[Jebsw]

Nanners,
Yess, that's what they are. Stupid, mean old bullies! Sorry about your work situation.
Thanks for the support.

 

[TheHistorian]

I'm sorry you are going through this. However, at the risk of being thought nitpicky, I should explain I am NOT a teacher and do not work in the field of education.

 

[Dhare63]

J, I coped by focusing on the actual people I served, my clients. I knew that I was providing objective advice that was guided by principles and ethics, not what was going to earn the institution more money. Like you, I would not bend to her demands. I wasn't about to jeopardize my licensing and credentials in favor of the bottom line. My clients loved me as did the higher ups, including the president of the bank. When I resigned, the president was furious that I left and chewed out my immediate supervisor for 2 hours for not doing more to make me stay. It's been 5 years and even now, I can get pretty angry about it all. The good news is, I found an organization that celebrates ethics and morals, and encourages free thinking and input to improve things. The hierarchy pays attention and recognizes professionalism. It's not perfect, but nothing is.

Focus on what you can control and give up on what you can't. It will save your energy to fight the battles you have a chance at winning. I made it my full time job to find a new job. I put on my best academy award winning performance when needed, and once I got the new job, left with my integrity intact. You can do that too. But don't give up, the kids need you. Let that be your reason to go forward. I knew if I served my clients well, it would all work out, and it did.

Take care and good luck with the OS. He sounds like the type that will help you with this.

Dawn

 

[Jebsw]

I'm sorry you are going through this. However, at the risk of being thought nitpicky, I should explain I am NOT a teacher and do not work in the field of education.

Oh dear! I'm sorry. I wonder who I'm thinking of, then. Oops

 

[Knitter4444]

Judy. One of the things that I saw in your post is that you are taking a NSAID and having stomach issues. Red flag here and there may be some association.

 

[katydid3]

It is like when you are pregnant and you belly watch when it is kicking and rolling. Maybe, just maybe you guys got babies in your legs. You know as we age everything sags, so your uterus could have dropped down to your thighs...

Hahaha!

 

[Jebsw]

Well, I feel just a tiny bit better. Indulged in some retail therapy, and even got a couple of things to wear to work. Although I haven't been able to get ahold of the HR person, I did speak to my union person. I should have forms for the OS to complete, need them by Wednesday. And apparently it IS possible to do a graduated return to work. Plus he has promised we'll meet with the new principal to discuss how I've been treated, (& bring up the spectre of grievances, etc.) and hopefully resolve some of the more agregious matters. Apparently this new fellow is very good to work with. Now, if my department head would just respond to emails and let me know what novels I'll be teaching so I have time to prep. All of course depends on the OS's view of my readiness to return. Maybe he'll nix the whole thing for now and problem solved!

Knees are doing okayish. Knee 1 is quite sore and increasingly clunky, Knee 2 very warm from today's walking. But I felt better about the walking itself while doing it, though I overdid things again today. My hands got shaky, a sure sign I've done too much. Stomach pains are getting a lot worse...ultrasound is this week. If it's not one thing, it's another. But still, have to be grateful for all the good stuff I have. Tonight I'm over to some friends' for dinner and card games, which will be nice.

 

[Dhare63]

Hi J, so glad you posted, have been a bit worried about you.

Glad to hear that you have some help to deal with the crappola that the workplace has been dishing out. It does surprise me how mean people can be sometimes, I just don't understand it. In the end, the good things you do will start to shine through again in the young minds that you touch! They are lucky to have you!

Retail therapy can do wonders for you! I did some of that myself today, found some great picture frames at a flea market, found a nice sweater, and a few items for Xmas.

I hope you have fun with friends! Enjoy!

Dawn

 

[Jebsw]

Thanks, Dawn. You're very sweet. I don't get meanness either. I honestly try to be nice or kind or whatever all the time. I don't always succeed, obviously, but I don't think I could live with myself if I were consciously acting in a duplicitous or underhanded or mean way to those around me. One of the fabulous things about BoneSmart is that everyone is so nice!
I love Christmas shopping. I'm usually too cheap to buy myself much, but I love buying for others. Recent retail therapy, though, seems to indicate I am willing to spend on myself too. I'm hoping this year I might be able to shop in a mall rather than stores with parking close to their door! Internet is useful for this for sure too, a real blessing over the past couple of years as things got harder.
Starting to wrap my head around the work issue a bit more. Have a bit more time before the preliminary date than I thought, too.

 

[Jebsw]

So I had fun last night, but had to keep getting up to ease the pain. The thing is, it's pain in my first knee's leg. That surgery was eight months ago. Afterwards and for several months, sitting was very painful, even in the car, as the back of the thigh hurt. It hadn't been an issue in quite a while until last night...and all of today. I've iced, etc. I'm finding that leg and knee are really acting up again, at times more painfully than the newer knee. F'rinstance, when I ride the bike or walk for a while, it's that knee which hurts. Ditto for squats, in fact most of the exercises. I feel like if I cut back any more, I'll be doing nothing. Should I be concerned? Thanks.
Josephine

 

[Josephine]

What kind of pain is it? Is it a deep, gnawing pain or intense aching? If it is, you might find this to be beneficial Moist heat for some late term discomfort and intense aching.

 

[Jebsw]

I will definitely try that! The pain now feels deep down, but with an upper layer to it too. Last night it was pretty intense: took a percocet as soon as I got home, something I've not felt the need for for a while now. It must have looked bad, too, as several of the folks I was with called last night and this morning to make sure I was okay, or perhaps needed a ride to emerg!

 

[Josephine]

Well, it won't do any harm providing you take care not to burn yourself! I found it terribly soothing but just wished I could make the heat last longer. There's no doubt that it's the MOIST heat that does the trick. I was in tears most every night with it.