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THR Very Scared

scaredincayce said:
Hello, I have severe right hip arthritis with two labram tears. I was always an athlete and my hip/groin started hurting seemingly out of nowhere. I'm 64 and have no known medical problems. The surgeon I saw back in February 2024 recommended a hip replacement. I am petrified of having complications such as infection or joint loosening. I'd like to hear from anyone who had extreme fear prior to your surgery and how you dealt with it. Please, please help me. I'm very depressed and all I think about is my hip. Thank you all so much.
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I am not much older than you and like you I was very fit, a marathon runner and road cyclist. The fear is the fear of the unknown, many people have complication and sometimes it is due to their own fault. My posterior surgery was performed in late March, I have never had any form of surgery and like you I was concerned, I now realise that often this fear is reading too much on line about what can go wrong, BIG MISTAKE! but my advice to you trust the procedure and especially trust your surgeon. I am six months down the line at four months I was back on my road bike climbing hills, I am back at the gym five days per week, but I have been careful, I have pulled back on the cardio and started strength and weights, I have two PT's per week and as much as the exercises I am shown, I know how to do these, I have the coach with me over this past 3 months and his advise and knowledge has been invaluable, because lets face it he has a better understanding of the mechanics of the body, in truth I would not be so far down the line as I am now if it were not for him. Today I was sleigh pushing on the running machine, who would have believed that certainly not me, each week I am thankful for each mile stone and I am looking forward to my first road race in the spring. One more thing!! I no longer have the groin and hip pain, I can throw my leg over my road bike, whereas before surgery I had to lay the bike on the ground to get on. So please be brave without this surgery you will be held back and as someone who has been very fit this is something you do not want to do. So I doff my cap to you and wish you well
 
One thing I will advise, is avoiding threads that are clearly dealing with a complication. I avoided them like the plague because they'd send my thoughts to "the bad place". The great majority are back living life and catching up on all they've missed out on. It is natural to look for information while preparing, but it is helpful to focus on positive stories and outcomes. Reading about others misfortune can create unnecessary anxiety, so please don't give into that temptation, if that's a reality for you.
 
One thing I want to tell you is how wonderful all my day of surgery preop experiences have been!

You arrive and the nursing staff knows folks are scared, so as they ask all the questions they're required to they are patient and kind, whether it's answering questions, bringing you warmed blankets to stay comfortable in the skimpy gown, or dimming the lights to help you relax.

You usually don't meet your anesthesiologist until you're in the pre op area. When they tell you this it can seem off putting because their role is so important.
But I have met with at least eight different anesthesiologists or nurse anesthetists over the decades that way. Every single one has taken as much time as needed to fully explain what they plan to do AND to really listen to and address my concerns and questions. As a result they might be the specialists I hold in highest regard, which says a lot coming from this retired career RN!

Everything in preop is focused on you having the best possible experience in a stressful situation so you feel supported.
 
I also had a very pleasant experience just as, mendogal, above. Wondering if it will ease some of you anxiety to focus more on the day of surgery and how quickly it actually progresses...

Each person I encountered the morning of surgery was warm, kind and professional. From the nurses, to the anesthesiologists, to my surgeon. They kept the mood light, the conversation easy breezy, we even shared laughs as they prepped me and verified information. You can inform them that you're feeling anxious and they will give you something to take the edge off. It does help.

The entire team works together, no one is indifferent as they want the same great outcome as you. It will be just another day at the office for them, doing what they were trained to do and what they do best, a team effort, perfectly orchestrated. After some time and once the prep is well on the way, you'll be moved to the OR, it will soon be "lights out" and then the magic will happen! Your OS and his team will respectfully, carefully and skillfully FIX YOU.

It is a wonderful feeling when you wake up and realize surgery is in the rear view and your sole focus will be on healing and getting back to all that you love. You will also be surprised at how quickly you adapt, fall into a routine and make progress. It's one of the best things I ever did for myself and I'm certain you will agree one day.
I hope you have a peaceful evening! We're here for you always.
@scaredincayce
 
Hi. I've been torturing myself over fear of possible infection. I play it out in my mind like this: What if I'm one of the unlucky 1 percenters who down the road wind up with an infection deep in the joint and they have to remove it and put spacers and antibiotics in the joint area and I'm non weight bearing for several months. Would I be in a wheelchair or could I at least get around on crutches??? I absolutely cannot stand the thought of being in a wheelchair. Am I the only person in the world who catastraphises like this? You all seem so strong. I wish I could be like you. You overcame your fear and now you're back to living.
 
Hello and Happy Friday,
We all experience anxiety to varying degrees. I am so sorry you seem tormented. We're not all strong. You reach a point when you're not living life as you once did, so you take a chance for a brighter future. We are not promised tomorrow, none of us, there are illnesses and accidents to name a few that can change our lives in an instant. However, it doesn't keep us locked up in our homes, you trust that things will work out as they should and you take a chance.

If it turned out to be worst case scenario, you'd deal with it. We have many stories here of those that dealt with and triumphed over infection and revision surgeries. Infections after surgery are rare. Surgeons take numerous precautions to prevent them. The odds are in your favor that you won't get an infection, so try to focus on that. I suggest you speak with your OS about your concerns. Understanding the process fully, may alleviate some of your fears.

Try to focus on all the positives when you're tempted to fear. The benefits of surgery are pain relief, improved mobility which will enhance your quality of life. You will love the result!

Have you ever tried deep breathing or meditation to help manage your anxiety, it may be worth looking into.
If it helps you to come here and share your fears, continue to do so. We're always available, lights never go out and we do care.
Best Wishes for peace of mind today.
@scaredincayce
 
Hey op, i had to “choose” a hip replacement at 38, when my youngest (of 3) was only 18 mos old. I had my own business that I’d have to walk away from for months (I thought) while I recovered, and my insurance was terrible so it would cost me about $4k out of pocket, not inclusive of pt. Plus the simple disbelief that I was only 38 needing a hip replacement! So I was scared too.

I ended up needing my second one done about 5 years later and I didn’t hesitate to get it done. I waited to get that first one done which caused other issues in my body - lower back, knee, shoulder. Everything.

So 1. Waiting while you worry is hurting other parts of your body. 2. The damage is done. It’s already been done. It’s a choice to schedule the date of your surgery but the surgery itself is not a choice. You need a hip replacement. 3. Looking back to that period before surgery — I was depressed. I was depressed because I was an athlete who was now disabled. I couldn’t sleep because of the pain. I was out of my mind. You are probably out of your mind right now with stress, pain, lack of sleep.

This surgery is so safe — it will be great. You got this!!!!
 
I don't have much pain sleeping or sitting. I only have pain with limping when I walk. I am going to see a PCP and get a referral for psychiatry. I am depressed. This hip has taken over my life. Also, adding to all this is that I lost my wife last year to cancer. I'm all alone here, so I have very little support. But, I do appreciate all of you here who have been so encouraging. I can't say enough how much I appeciate your kind words.
 
scaredincayce said:
Also, adding to all this is that I lost my wife last year to cancer. I'm all alone here, so I have very little support.
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. I'm sure your loss still feels fresh / new.

You're never alone here, so lean on us, we'll help see you through. Scheduling an appointment for some professional help was a big step. Good for you!
 
Oh, I'm sorry to read about the loss of your wife after her battle with cancer, @scaredincayce. It's not surprising that you are struggling with anxiety and depression. You are wise to get a referral for psychiatric care (talk therapy + medication really changed things for me).

And, as Layla said, know we are are to provide support and encouragement whenever you need it.
 
You've had a lot to carry on your shoulders and in your heart. I applaud your taking steps towards addressing your losses and fears.
 
I doubt anyone goes and has their hip joint replaced without a significant amount of fear and apprehension. I refused for 5 years due to fearing that at 75 I might risk cognitive decline due to the anesthesia until two things happened.
I finally found a surgeon I knew intuitively I could trust completely, who not only had a great reputation as a surgeon but also as an empathetic human being which to me was even more important, and also was willing to work with the absolute minimum local anesthesia. I had only the spinal.

This was October 8 last year. I was deteriorating rapidly both physically and emotionally. If you wait long enough I believe this is what eventually happens to everyone. Things accelerate downhill. Fortunately, I was able to have the surgery a week after that first meeting due to a cancellation that came in during the office visit. And due to the empathy of my surgeon

THR is elective surgery and I suppose that I could have waited even longer before finding him, or even lived the rest of my life in a wheelchair as a defeated old man. We do get to choose, but I urge you to not wait too long. Scheduling may be 4 to 6 months in the future. You need to plan ahead.

Superceding whatever particular fears you have will necessarily be part of your new life, as much as the prosthetic, as much as the entire experience of recovery, which no matter how hard that is, or because of how hard it is, will be something that will improve your life immeasurably. You have no idea what a difference it will make.
 
scaredincayce said:
Hello, I have severe right hip arthritis with two labram tears. I was always an athlete and my hip/groin started hurting seemingly out of nowhere. I'm 64 and have no known medical problems. The surgeon I saw back in February 2024 recommended a hip replacement. I am petrified of having complications such as infection or joint loosening. I'd like to hear from anyone who had extreme fear prior to your surgery and how you dealt with it. Please, please help me. I'm very depressed and all I think about is my hip. Thank you all so much.
Click to expand...
Hi! I had my hip replacement on the 1st Oct. 11days in now. I had a spinal injection and a sedative before the op. Didn’t know a thing, thank heavens. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Nevertheless, everyone that I know has been so positive about the eventual outcome but nobody told me how very tough this first few weeks were going to be. Make sure you have good support and expect to feel down. I’m told that the first two weeks are the worst, after that.. the sky’s the limit!
 
@Starshine
Thank you for your encouraging message to, scaredincayce.
We'd love to offer you the same support since it sounds like you may be having a bit of a rough time in these early days of recovery. I believe you will appreciate looking back at your journey by keeping a journal of your progress on a thread of your own. We also have Recovery Guidelines to share. We'd love to have you...please join us!

A link of you need it - https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/starting-a-new-thread-and-posting.57719/
 
It is completely normal to have fears before surgery. I think you need to slow down your mind a little bit so you don't stress yourself out as much. Good for you for looking up resources online and being so vulnerable with very common fears. It's already been said but hip replacements are probably one of the most common surgeries out there and have very high successful rates.
 
scaredincayce said:
Thank you Deni444. I wish that somehow someone would force me to have the hip replacement. It's like having a choice makes it more agonizing. Does that make sense? Do you think you will eventually get your hip replaced?
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I understand completely and I'm a terrible example because I've let my hip make the decision for me. I admire the people on here who were braver and got help sooner. Yes, I'm referred to have surgery and now waiting for a date. The waitlist is currently about 15 weeks at my hospital, so maybe it will be in February 25. My next decision will be to accept that my left hip needs replacing too. To be honest, I'm not dwelling on it but I'm going to have to decide whether to get the ball rolling soon after my right hip is replaced. My left hip doesn't cause me too many problems but it also has severe stage arthritis. I have to face facts and understand that if I avoid addressing it, I'm going to decline back to where I am now despite having a nice new hip on the right. Hindsight is a great thing. Based on how miserable I am now, I'll schedule the second hip replacement. I just want life back. Has a nightmare trying to navigate the shower this morning, even with board seat over the bath and grab handles. I'm literally dreading walking from my bedroom to the kitchen. My greenhouse is sat with peppers unpicked because I can't face the struggle across the garden. I've really coped well up to now but it's like I've just got weary of every task feeling like an endurance test. I honestly would love you to be able to take my experience as motivation to save you from what I had to experience. I really understand that sometimes people need to feel they have reached the end of the road. That is me but I really wish I'd have got the hips done 2 years ago. Based on the recovery stories on here, I'd most likely be living a pretty active and full life now.

All the best on your journey xxx
 
I feel
For you!
I put off my first hip
Op and was then forced to wait three years to get it done on the NHS during which time it became agony and really affected my quality of life. That was in 1998 and it has been great ever since.
When it was obvious my other hip was going too I pestered the surgeon for a cancellation as this time I knew the consequences of waiting too long.

Spinal plus a touch of general anaesthetic. They know what they are doing and were very reassuring. I was terrified first time around.

Please get some help for your anxiety to enable you to go ahead… best of luck!
 
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