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TKR TS’s lopsided recovery'

DLR

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@traceys my knee still gets warm at times, often an anti inflammatory will bring it in line, it will be interesting to see if Celebrex helps.
I also was identifying with your multi colour scar, at times it’s quite pale in fact about 3 inches of it remains that way, the rest can turn dark almost black with walking or a hot bath...weirdest thing never know what colour it will be
 

gecko

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Oh me too a nice smooth red I think :)
@traceys I had the same issue before I took over counter anti- inflams yesterday on both knees, I think you are right it seems to be connected to the inflammation that is going on inside :)
 

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@traceys
Hey Traceys. Sry you are having some difficult days lately. I've been thinking about dry needling too, have to find someone to do it though. I read through your posts for this week and can understand how annoying that "catching" feeling is when bending. That feeling also comes and goes for me. Lately it's been sticking around.
I keep thinking it's all due to this relentless internal swelling and dont mean to sound trite but I think time takes time- At least that gives me hope that things will turn around eventually. I'm in Connecticut and it's supposed to get warmer for a few days, actually supposed to reach the 50's. I keep getting invited to go places with friends and family and keep declining because my kneecap is having tracking problems again and that catching feeling causes me to stop and wince. I dont like being out and around people when that happens, just me.
Take Care and wishing you better days ahead.
 
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traceys

traceys

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Pt done for the week! :yahoo:

Considering how rough a week it was things were interesting. The knee was so stiff on the way there I struggled to get up the 12 steps properly in the -18C wind but I was determined.

Pt said my knee was indeed quite warm and visibly swollen by 2cm over the good one. She did my stretches and then wanted to check range but did it in 3 different positions and what a huge range!
Laying on my back sliding heel was 75.
Sitting up with it hanging over edge and me pulling it back was 80.
Laying down with my hip flexed letting it drape over her arm only she estimated 90-95.
:skep:

Pt also tested my quads and decided to add 2 strengthening movements to my list but NO WEIGHT machines she said.
:bignono:

Then my massage therapist beat the crud out of my quads working out the tight bands and while painful as :censored: it felt sooooo good after. She said things felt and moved better this week.

Now on to date night with hubby :martini:
Have a great weekend all and thanks for pulling me through another week!
 
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traceys

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Warning: post is going to be whiny and a disorganized rambling but I need to vent :bawl:

I’m having a really bad day...make that days.
I try to be positive on here and even when I’ve had setbacks I find something good or minimize it but for some reason I have slid into a real funk and am so sad and realize I’m really frightened over my knee progress or lack of.

I feel like it’s never going to get better.
What if this is my new normal? What have I done? I had constant pain but at least I could live. Now- no pain like I had but I am not living and what if I can’t do all the things I still wanted to??

I still can’t walk without my cane and it looks horrible.
I don’t have pain 95% of the time but it always feels like it’s too tight. Like there is no space in the joint to bend
I still can’t voluntarily bend to past 75 but gravity will take it a bit more.
I can’t voluntarily straighten it try as I may and then I lay on my stomach and it drops after a few minutes completely flat.
I still don’t sleep more than an hour at a time unless I medicate because I can only lay two ways.

All I can see lately is everything I can’t do because there is so many. Even my little victories seem so hollow now.

I’m sorry. I know everyone is used to me being so upbeat and encouraging and humorous but I just don’t feel it now.
I’m thinking I should see if my OS will meet with my pt and I and have a good talk.
Maybe I need an Mua.
Maybe I did something wrong at the start and messed it up.
Maybe he’s seen this before.
Maybe I’m just exhausted finally after all these months of trying.

Thanks for listening. Sometimes just giving our fears a face can start the process of dealing with them.
 

Jockette

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:console2::console2::console2::console2:
Oh, Tracy, I wish I could hug you in person right now. I don’t really have any answers for you, except that you are exhausted and when we are exhausted it’s hard to cope.

This is a big surgery and you’ve had so many over the years. That has to be a factor in your recovery.

None of us know for sure what our outcome will be. We all go into this hoping for the good outcome. Though it seems like a lifetime, it’s too early to assume this is all you’ll get.

Have a pity party, we all need to do that once in a while, I’ve had plenty of my own. Then you’ll be able to pick yourself up again and move forward, an inch, a step, a day at a time.

We all care about you and we’ll listen and hug any time. :console2:
 

Mom2Lucy

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Hey Tracey, don’t worry about venting. I think this healing process is extremely difficult. You’ve had so many knee surgeries and treatments, I wonder if your body and brain all need a longer reset to re-establish the new body as the one to work on and heal.

Like you, I have lots of tightness in my new knee, plus a little more pain I think, from what you’ve described. I can bend further than 75, but I can’t comfortably lie on my stomach for more than a couple of minutes. (And I only do that for chiropractor treatment on my back), which is driving me crazy with what the chiropractor is describing as “jammed facets”.

Like you, I still have a lot of problems with sleeping, I’ve tried Tylenol pm with no success, and I’m not sure the melatonin is doing anything.

I’m saying all this because we’re all in this together and you are not alone in your worries and concerns. My added worry comes from having to resume full time work after one more week of part-time, and part-time has been difficult.

We do have to give our fears a face, amongst ourselves on this forum, so we can work them out and share solutions as well as the fears themselves. When I try to express a fear or concern elsewhere, I’m met with puzzled expressions, or some attempt to downplay my situation.

I hope you know how much we all care on here, hugs to you.
 

donnag1108

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I don't have the answers either but I sure wish I did. I am truly sorry to see your feeling like that but I don't think this forum is only for when we are having good days.

Often when we share things we really have no idea the impact it can have on others. I am sure there is someone else who may read this and be feeling many of the same things so just by nature of you putting it out there may help them feel less alone.

I remember in the middle of the night I was awake yet again and feeling pretty crappy and totally alone and got on here to see a post from you. Just seeing it in that low moment made me feel so much better.

None of us can be strong all the time and I don't think we have to be. I will keep you in my prayers that your situation improves soon but in the meantime vent away if you need to. Everyone on some level here while the circumstances may vary I'm pretty sure understands at least to some degree.
 

Jockette

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When I try to express a fear or concern elsewhere, I’m met with puzzled expressions, or some attempt to downplay my situation.
This is so true for me, also!
Often when we share things we really have no idea the impact it can have on others. I am sure there is someone else who may read this and be feeling many of the same things so just by nature of you putting it out there may help them feel less alone.
I agree!
 

grandma chris

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Oh Tracey I'm so sorry you're having this rotten time! I have no words of wisdom but I do share your fears. No matter how upbeat or positive we try to be its inevitable that we have occasional loss of confidence. Please try to take comfort from the responses you've had tonight and the knowledge that most of the threads we read here have positive outcomes - even though sometimes they are a long time coming. I also wish I could give you a big hug right now. I hope you feel better in the morning. :console2::console2:
 

Larryhg3

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@traceys you should never feel bad about coming here to vent. I wish I could hug you in person. With your history it is unrealistic to expect anything close to a “typical” recovery. That is the lecture I got at PT two weeks ago. It didn’t help me any more than it will help you. This recovery flat out sucks sometimes. For me it happens when I see people who are “breezing through” regaining ROM while I struggle for every degree of flexion. Then I get angry and rant about functionality over ROM until the next PT where........you guessed it we work really hard on gaining ROM ending with a disappointing measurement. Bah

You are surrounded here by people who completely get it. Come here positive or negative, happy or sad, upbeat or depressed. We are here to hold your hand and walk you through it.
 

Jockette

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There comes a time in our recovery when we have to stop struggling for every degree and just let the knee/leg continue to heal. We have little to no control over healing. We have control in that we can slow it down by doing too much. We can’t speed it up, but we can give it the best opportunity to progress at its own rate of moving forward by just giving it the Time it needs. Trying too hard doesn’t work, it only frustrates us. The knee does not care about our timetable, it only cares about its own. And for each of us, that timetable is different.
 
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Jockette

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We ALL need to remember it’s not exercising that gets our range of motion back, it’s Time:

Time to recover.
Time for pain and swelling to settle.
Time to heal.

Our range of motion is right there all
along just waiting for that to happen so it can show itself.

In the general run of things, it doesn't need to be fought for, worked hard for or worried about. It will happen. Exercise as in strength training is counter-productive and in the early weeks does more harm than good. Normal activity is the key to success.

Most of you know by now that my knee is not doing well. Even with my poor outcome my ROM has increased and my whole leg has relaxed since my one year checkup. There really is no need to struggle for every degree, it will come in time. For me, it was in my second year of post op.
 

Larryhg3

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@traceys I sincerely hope you find your way through this tough period. I am here for you always even if it is just to be a sounding board
 
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gecko

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Oh no @traceys , I am so sorry you are having such rough go of it at the moment , you know you can come vent here as often as you need, we are all here for you, just as you are always there for all of us, this may sound a little corny but I read this verse in a special book of mine and I have always loved it and believe the analogy to be true.

We are each of us Angels
With only one wing
And in order to fly
We need to embrace each other

I believe this to be so very true with this revovery , its not something we can or should do alone
Sending loads of squishy hugs , and bucket loads of love and healing prayers:angel:Chris
 

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@traceys, (((traceys))). That's a great big tight hug for you right now. You have been such a huge help to so many of us and carried us on your shoulders. Now, it's our turn to carry you. Remember that prayer works and you have tons of us praying for you!

You are not alone. Not all of us have had a perfect recovery. Mine was really good and about 2 years later started to fall back. You have given me much encouragement through my trials and are a huge blessing! We are here for you any time of day or night you need us! We care deeply!
 
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traceys

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My apologies for the bulk call out but so much easier for my swollen bleary eyes

I hope you know how much we all care on here, hugs to you.
I also wish I could give you a big hug right now. I hope you feel better in the morning.
We all care about you and we’ll listen and hug any time. :console2:
I remember in the middle of the night I was awake yet again and feeling pretty crappy and totally alone and got on here to see a post from you. Just seeing it in that low moment made me feel so much better.
@traceys thank you for being honest and vulnerable ... it is so hard this journey and you have been through so much already. Thinking of you
You are surrounded here by people who completely get it. Come here positive or negative, happy or sad, upbeat or depressed. We are here to hold your hand and walk you through it
We are each of us Angels
With only one wing
And in order to fly
We need to embrace each other

I believe this to be so very true with this revovery , its not something we can or should do alone
Sending loads of squishy hugs , and bucket loads of love and healing prayers
@traceys, (((traceys))). That's a great big tight hug for you right now. You have been such a huge help to so many of us and carried us on your shoulders. Now, it's our turn to carry you.
This planet may be massive and I know you are scattered all over it but I really wish I was able to hug each of you personally. I have been crying for the last 24hrs and trying to get my head in order and putting words to things. Poor hubs is at a loss what to do. He is trying to be optimistic with the standard “you are overreacting. It is all fine. Be patient. You are improving and don’t see it” but it’s making it worse so he is just sitting by quietly.

I drugged myself massively with a sleep med my fam dr gave me last yr for when I absolutely have to. I take 1-2 a yr they are so scary but I had to sleep. Today we did groceries. I walked the store using the cart no cane. After about 20min my knee was so tight and stiff and aches but I finished. Then had to make dinner as son came home to see me after hubs told him how I was feeling. No real pain, just achy and super tight again now.
I’m going to go have a few more cries now that the house is quiet again but wanted to pop in and thank all of you for the messages here and the amazing letters via dm. I wish there was the right emoji avail for it

Will check in later
 

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