Bilateral TKR The Historian - recovery diary

[bottomshollow]

Neil, you are being much too hard on yourself. Your expectations exceed your body's ability to meet them this soon in the game. You're only 1/3 of the way through this recovery. You still have most of the way to go. Please go back and look at all your posts, and see just how for you've some so far.

With going back to work full time, you are doing so much more than you realize. Your body is still undergoing a lot of changes from where it was before surgery.

As I recall, there were some set backs in the beginning and then things began to progress fairly rapidly. Now you're in another holding pattern. Please, please give yourself a break---and for goodness sake (or badness, if you prefer) pick your chin up off the ground, put a smile on your face, and keep on truckin'---'cause you ARE GOING TO GET THERE---just not as soon as you want to.

Here is the biggest hug I can find--- 'cause you really need it!

 

[BJ Mac]

I am sorry that you are feeling this way, Neil.

CAN someone come along and encourage this man??? I am about 6 weeks behind him and feel much the same way.

 

[Roy Gardiner]

Its now four months since I went under the knife and I feel less than awesome. I'd hoped I'd be much further along by now. Instead I'm still struggling to get out of chairs and my stamina is in the basement.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way, Neil.

CAN someone come along and encourage this man??? I am about 6 weeks behind him and feel much the same way.

It takes time. Neil, you have several extra very serious issues compared to other BTKR people like me, but you have continued to progress -- just a bit more slowly. I still struggle to get out of chairs, and I weigh 82kg (180lb), a bit less than you!

I was, by any normal standard, extremely fit before surgery -- 200 miles a week on the bike would be perfectly normal and unremarkable. Now, it's not possible for me, and won't be for months. You also are a keen cyclist, but have been hampered by knees and other physical issues -- and you are back at work full time! It's no wonder stamina is compromised.

Give yourself a break, you are too hard a taskmaster upon yourself.

BJ Mac, at six weeks behind, i.e. 2 1/2 months post op, it's no surprise you are down. You are healing at a terrific rate, yet it feels like nothing's happening because there's so much to heal! It does get better, little by little, every day.

 

[Janet2012]

Its now four months since I went under the knife and I feel less than awesome. I'd hoped I'd be much further along by now. Instead I'm still struggling to get out of chairs and my stamina is in the basement.

It's a good thing we ARE awesome, since we can't always FEEL awesome! This is what I figure - the first year is healing and recovery, physical therapy and working out the niggles, return to basic strength and going through the motions of athletics.. The NEXT year is the year to work on stamina and athletic gain and accomplishment. First things first!

 

[TheHistorian]

I was, by any normal standard, extremely fit before surgery -- 200 miles a week on the bike would be perfectly normal and unremarkable. Now, it's not possible for me, and won't be for months. You also are a keen cyclist, but have been hampered by knees and other physical issues -- and you are back at work full time! It's no wonder stamina is compromised.

It's not even a matter of fitness. I've always been a man who just does things - I'll light a candle rather than curse the darkness. Six years ago I got fed up with being 400 pounds, so on my own I lost 160 of them. I wanted to learn to ride a bike, so I taught myself. Despite my failing knees, I tried to ride across Pennsylvania in 2011 - I failed, but I tried. I want to backpack on a major long-distance trail (not the Appalachian Trail since its so overhyped). I planned a cross country bike ride. In short, I do things, and do them in a big way. And now for the past four months I struggle to get out of a chair and can't keep up walking with my 72 year old mom. Nor do I find it easy to keep my weight under control while dealing with the lack of activity and the dietary restrictions from Coumadin.

Being fat, sedentary, and a victim is what I lost weight to escape from. And now I'm being forced back into those roles. No wonder I'm depressed.

 

[Leisa]

It's a quiet, hot-as-a-jalapeno-pepper July afternoon in Alabama. My knee (LTKR on 8/6/12) is killing me as the rain rolls in so I decided to RICE and read "The Historian's journey". What I gleaned from my read (and hey, wow.. 20 pages.) It's a roller coaster it seems, as I read the first day in the library. One step forward, two steps back, repeat... Your progress appears amazing to me, your weight loss (kudo's). You have family support, community and friends : ) The people on this board are so very nice: ) Your faith sustains you : )
I understand it gets discouraging but I think you are too hard on yourself. It seems to me you have come a really long way in a short amount of time.

I look forward to following more updates as it encourages me as I approach my surgery date. All the best to you.

 

[bottomshollow]

What Leisa said. You are only a victim if you allow yourself to be. You don't have to be sedentary. And you are not fat---just pleasantly plump---and you'll take care of that later when things get better and THEY WILL GET BETTER!

You now and you later when you get over this funk

 

[TheHistorian]

OK, here are two small positives.... I can drive my car for the most part without thinking "I just had knee replacement, I have to take special care." And the time it takes me to shower and dress for work is just about the same as before surgery.

 

[TheHistorian]

Deciding what to do with my scheduled vacation time. I wanted to drive out to Ohio and ride with friends in the Cuyahoga National Park, but between the 8 hour drive, my lack of riding time, and the expense I've scrapped the trip. My current plans are to visit a friend in Western PA and ride some rail-trails. Shorter drive, shorter rides, and less expense. Now I have to get riding if I want to justify the trip.

 

[bottomshollow]

Then get crackin' bro. A mini vacation may be just the ticket to a better outlook on everything. Low energy level does tend to bring us down and make us depressed---but we have to fight it all the way.

Cycling with friends seems a good way to do it. Be good to yourself.

 

[Leisa]

Yea! Mini vacation. I personally think those are the best. They refresh your batteries w/o lots of expense. I have one last weekend of horse camping planned (even in this heat) before my surgery.
Have fun Historian.

 

[Janet2012]

Deciding what to do with my scheduled vacation time. I wanted to drive out to Ohio and ride with friends in the Cuyahoga National Park, but between the 8 hour drive, my lack of riding time, and the expense I've scrapped the trip. My current plans are to visit a friend in Western PA and ride some rail-trails. Shorter drive, shorter rides, and less expense. Now I have to get riding if I want to justify the trip.

Sounds like the right ticket! From my vantage point at five weeks,

 

[TheHistorian]

I hope to return to the West Penn Trail, near Johnstown, PA. I was there two years ago:

 

[TheHistorian]

The photo is from an overgrown overlook. The trail runs across the bridge, one of four Pennsylvania Railroad bridges the trail uses. The Conemaugh River loops back and forth along the trail. The trail is downriver from Johnstown - famous for the 1889 flood.

 

[BJ Mac]

Beautiful!!! I hope that you get to do this, and enjoy it. It looks amazing.

 

[TheHistorian]

Beautiful!!! I hope that you get to do this, and enjoy it. It looks amazing.

West Penn Trail runs from Blairsville, downriver from Johnstown, along the Conemaugh 4.5 miles to a closed off tunnel. I have no intention of hiking up the mountain and down the other side to get around the tunnel, so I'll turn around there. As I did in 2010:

 

[TheHistorian]

While I'm out there I might visit Johnstown again. See the city that refused to die. 2010:

1889:

Site of the South Fork Dam, which collapsed and sent 20 millions tons of water downstream to Johnstown. The dam topped out where the observation platform is.

 

[Roy Gardiner]

Being fat, sedentary, and a victim is what I lost weight to escape from. And now I'm being forced back into those roles. No wonder I'm depressed.

And you have shown that you don't allow yourself to be forced indefinitely. My money is on you to win.

 

[zjrog]

Ooh boy, where to start. How you doing brother? I'm up to my armpits in alligator stew myself and haven't been on much, but I have been keeping tabs on you here and FB. 4 months is a great milestone. And considering what you had done and where you are going, I'm very impressed. We've had words about where things can go, what to expect... No sense going over them. Here you are, refusing to give in when honestly, others just sit. That isn't you my friend. Moving forward isn't always easy. And, well, setbacks get in the way. I admire your honesty about how you feel, and where you think you should be. But as you well know, the body rules in matters of the body, and you, are merely along for the ride. Time is something you have plenty of. We all do. Patience, is NOT a virtue *I* am personally blessed with. Work, the drudgery of mere existence all take their toll. And yet, we keep swinging, not simply "tilting at windmills". Of late, I've had too many "bad days". For any number of reasons. I'm muddling through as best I can, and with help and support of very close friends. And a beer or two now and again. I can tell in the gym if I'm about to do something stupid or if I can finish the workout. I pick the fights I have to fight, not the windmills that taunt me...

I think you are doing fine, Neil. If *I* had any patience, I'd share it with you...

 

[TheHistorian]

We've had words ....

Is there ANYONE I haven't had words with at some time or another?!? I put the quarrel in quarrelsome.