Thank you so much for the support. It was pretty emotional. I could feel my heart breaking into pieces. I got to the church early with the family and went immediately to sit in the sanctuary so I was out of the way when people started to arrive. Well, they had a lift seat that looked like it was from the 60's to get up the stairs. I didn't feel comfortable using it, so I just did the steps on my own with my crutches. I did approximately 17 steps up, and then back down again after the service was over. And I did it! I think my knee is much more capable than I even know, but I'm scared to push it. One thing nobody ever really says after replacement surgery is that you have to learn how this new joint actually works. I am in the middle of that phase. Anyway...
There were 5 people that spoke, her brother Darren, me, two friends, and her daughter Bella. I had a really difficult time getting through mine, but I did it. My dad actually came up to where I was standing to stand next to me for support, whether because of my knees or because my heart was breaking, I'm not sure. My boyfriend walked up to check on me too once I was seated again. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Bella was sitting in front of me and she came back and gave me a huge hug. I was just a mess, but a lot of people were there and many of them were emotional too. Little Bella spoke about her mom and how nice she was and how she took care of her all the time. It was hard to watch her crying and missing her mom. She's only 8 so the concept of death is new. I know where she is interred, so I'll go to visit her often. I begged off hanging with the family (way too many people, many of them being super loud and her uncle is a loudmouth...) I could handle that so I came back home and took a nap.
My knee did surprisingly well and it does not really hurt at all, especially after 2 days in a row of less elevation and resting than I'm used to. I was beginning to worry that I was missing that "magical" moment when the knee gets much better really quickly, but I think I'm on the cusp of it now. I just hope it holds out until Monday when I see my OS. I have this whole plan in my head that he'll let me have the RTKR in the middle or end of November. I think he will, and I can be persuasive when I need to be!
So, that was my day. Thank you for your kind words of support. I think they helped, but it was always going to be a really heartbreaking day no matter what.
Jen
United States
Take care, thinking of you today and hoping you don't push yourself too hard.
