Today was another lazy day. I fell asleep in the chair last night and woke up very early and then off to bed. Didn't get up till noon. Then I was still tired so I went for a nap and woke up at 8 in the evening. My feet also hurt but now don't. I was tired and now I feel so much better. I find that I can go for about six days then I crash for a couple. It was hot out today so why not sleep.
My hip is also lots better but the swelling is still there a little. This is so common for me in the summer. I go for a couple of days then I crash. I have always done that so its so good to be back to some normal. I would love to go to the ocean this summer. That is my goal for this summer. It finally to the place where I can make a goal. Finally I feel almost human.
I do have to be careful with my feet. I do need to get some shoes this week. They are about a full year old. I hope I don't need some new inserts. In the summer I don't wear shoes much inside for that fact I don't wear shoes in the Winter either inside the apartment. I did a list of all my sewing stuff this week now I need to make the way I want it. Cut and paste I believe is the way. I haven't done this since college. Yes, I had trouble spelling in college also.
This week is my one year anniversary on my left knee. WOW did this year pass fast. All I wanted was to get out of pain and being able to walk without a cane or a walker. I did that and so much more. I can know drive without pain. Go shopping and go to weekend events. I am now looking for a another dog. I felt so defeated before the surgery. In fact I didn't have much hope for the future. I was in so much pain I didn't know how much longer I could put up the pain. My life was on hold and all I was doing was going from one moment to other moment. I had no dreams to speak of but get out of pain. It consumed me 24hrs/7 days a week. I would take pills every four hours hoping for relief more than three hours. That isn't much of a life to say the least.
After surgery all I could do for four days was cry because it was all over. No more surgeries were planned. My journey started 2006 with finding out I had Cancer. I almost died a couple of times after surgery to get rid of the cancer. Very weak to say the least the doctor told me it would take me a couple of years to get my strength back. In the process I noticed my knees hurt but I thought it was because I had been in a coma for almost a month and was so weak from that. Finally I went to the doctor and found out I needed two new knees and a new hip. Finally it got so bad I couldn't walk any more so I started my journey of replacements.
I had my right knee done first and I did have a so so recover because I was still in so much pain with the other knee and hip. The next year I got the hip done and by then I was terribly depressed. In fact I had no hope thinking that I was going to get better. Every day I would reach deep inside to gather the strength I had to take the day on. I also found out that my Cancer medication was not working so the anxiety was in the roof. Finally after only six months after the hip I took on the left knee on.
This was the best move I have ever taken. This was the last thing I needed before starting to go up hill. I also had found this group after the hip. I found hope here that there was going to be a tomorrow. I started not to dread the next moment because I finally got pain control with the last knee done. Finally after three years of hell I finally had moments of peace and free from pain. I was still very concerned that I needed surgery on my feet but I noticed day by day they were starting to stop hurting and getting stronger. Was this to be my future not pain in the feet? The answer was yes. Having both knees done and a hip put them in the right position. Hope for the future finally came into my mind.
As each day, week, and month I found less pain, anixety and in there place became strength and hope. Was I to have a future? The answer was YES. It surprised me greatly and I found Angels like
Josephine,
Jamie bottomshollow, and
Poppet,
Pumpkln who wouldn't let me go into deep depression and feel like not worth anything. Also many other would stop by and give the strength to carry on.
As I write this I realise how defeated I was when I came here. I had no hope for tomorrow or hope to get out of pain. I just went thru the motion and day by day it got better. Finally I could say I was glad to be alive. There is no words to say to all of you for helping me make it. I know their are many that no longer come to this site but they did give there time to say Hi and in doing so they left HOPE in my heart.
welshjane comes to my mind of those who I will never forget what they said.
God does work in so many ways and brought so many to this site to help me in the climbing on my hill. Well I am at the top now and travelling down to the other side. How do you say thank you for all those who helped me. I find there are no words that I can say to tell you how much it means to me. I know I have meet life time friends. That is so wonderful about this place. It helps you in the life changing events and you get friends to continue your life in bright sun and a bright future. I know now I have a future which will be more bright than dark. Life does throw you challenges but its the way you look at them that seem to make the outcome.
I know that I had the best of doctors to help but the soul needs to be healed also. We all have our own roads to walk and travel but coming here I get help with the traveling my path and helping other travelling theirs. I came here so wounded in the heart and soul other than having physical pains. Now that I am healing in all places I find myself looking for the future like my sewing again is so alive again. So is my travelling to other places have come alive. When I wake up first thing in the morning I don't have to deal with pain in my heart and soul and physical being. I look onto the day wondering what am I going to do today that I haven't done in years? I find that I have moments of excitement of thinking of what things I want to do and will have to work forward too.
I am looking for another pet which I haven't had for a while. Now I want a dog instead of needing one to take care of me. I have no idea on what kind of dog God will give me for travelling with me on my path. God brought me here to get well and to help those who need help in their journey. Before I came here the internet was not a friend. In fact the thought of sharing anything was not going to happen. Now I must say in a way it saved my life. I can come here at any time and get hope or give it because I have so much to share. I hope to stay here and help here because this surgeries are ruff and demanding to heart and the soul plus it being very physical.
I know so many people here that maybe in some day I will meet some. I have a big family here and all over the world. On New Year night I attend the party here with my great friends. I look forward to it every year. This is my family of many and will grow bigger as new people I will meet here. I now come here knowing that I can help someone and say Hi to my friends and family. God bless this group and the staff who I call Angels. I thank the doctor who started this group for having the foresight of how difficult this surgery is. God Bless you all in your journey. Please everyone do take care. I hope you can read this without double spacing. Tashia
United States
will come into your life when you are ready, not a moment sooner!
I'm glad you feel like life is picking up to a wonderful pace-- good for you!! have a lovely lovely lazy weekend! I think I'm going to try to get out to church-- will be nearly two weeks since surgery, and the church is only 5 min from home....I can leave if it gets too much! Dragging my family behind me...
so it would have been wrong all round. Next week 
