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Bilateral TKR SusieShoes' New Knees

awww i understand also. had both inlaws living with us when they were too frail to look after their large property in quebec. m.i.l. had a bad fall, in hospital for around 6 weeks and then to nursing home and passed away 2 days later. she had years of pain from osteoporosis but still worked hard every day on their property; huge vegetable garden and flowers. i hope your f.i.l. will adjust to the new surroundings ~ he will be safe and cared for. no need for you or mr. shoes to feel guilty.
 
Stopping in, I have been reading your thread for over a month now, watching you recover from your bilateral and just wow I am so amazed at your recovery! I have loved reading your updates, little stories along the way, learning more about your family and life. I just wanted to comment on your FIL situation, my mom had a major stroke 6 years ago and ended up paralyzed on her left side completely and unfortunately we had to put her in a nursing home because we could not physically care for her. Our house was not set up for that and I had a newborn who was special needs. I beat myself up a lot because I never wanted her to be in that type of place. She also guilt tripped me a lot in the beginning, I was there every day visiting, she would call me at all hours of the day/night etc. Her brain was not right yet. Anyway, today things are better, I visit at as much a I can, talk to her daily just about and while she's not happy there, she is settled. You are so right about putting your own health and life on hold, I did that, I was so very depressed, gained lots of weight etc. In the long run I think you'll all find a peace about it and hopefully he will adjust OK.
 
SusieShoes said:
I would have had the surgery sooner and not made as big a stink about it. Me. What about me? I was a bit of a child about it.
Click to expand...
I don't think that you were being *a child* or selfish in any way. You put off your own well-being and suffered with pain longer than you needed to. You had/have every right to think "what about me"! How much good can you be to anyone if you are not taking care of yourself? Remember, put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST then help others, otherwise you won't be able to help anyone. I do feel for you and Mr Shoes about your FIL, but as everyone else has said, everyone, including him, will benefit from this. He needs that structure and routine, and that is not something he can get without 24 hr care.
Enjoy your trip guilt free. You have more than paid your dues in so many ways!:) :-) (:
 
Aw, thanks so much for all the support. At this point, we (the whole Big Italian Family) are all in agreement about what needs to be done. It really is for the best. We didn't realize when taking FIL into our house how his dementia and decline would also be bad for us. As @SpaceGirl mentioned, we ALL became depressed, gained weight, and developed or worsened health problems. I guess that's what happens when you feel your life is out of control.

I've finally wrested control of my life away from my bossy knees, so things really are undergoing some major changes.
 
I've just caught up on your thread Susie, and all I can say is WOW!!! Obviously, Lefty became tired of being called a laggard, lol, so congratulations on his graduation to pain-free status! And just look at you, side-sleeping with abandon; woot!:yes!:

I've been in your *shoes* caring for a demented elder and though we did our best for two years in our home, at a certain point, professional care became inevitable. It's a tough decision, but you are fortunate in that everyone in the family is in agreement; phew! I never thought my mother would adjust, but....I was wrong! She actually loved her new digs and all the activities they offered! I hope your FIL adjusts well and something tells me he will. :SUNsmile:
 
Lefty just needed more time. He had a lot further to travel, after all, because he was so damaged that he was at 9 pain level for a couple of years. I abused that poor knee for longer than he deserved. He was telling me he needed help, and if he exacts a little revenge, I can live with that. He's telling me he's happy to be getting better. :yes:

We did our best and he has had a good home for two years here and at his daughter's. I'll cross my fingers that he settles in well. Time will tell! So many people have reassured me by relating how their relatives have done well.
 
Hi SusieShoes, congratulations on being an advisor! So many of us have been affected by dementia or ailing parents. It does affect your health! The wear and tear takes its toil! We helped in the care of my Dad and 3 months after he passed my Mom had a major stroke. We had her for almost a year and was able to move her back into her home in Fl with my sister and a caregiver coming every day.

The same month she left we got Walt's Mom who did suffer from bad dementia. We struggled with the decision of having her at home or a facility. They advised us that having her in our home with all the chaos of a large family going and coming would wreak havoc on her. They need routine everyday, something our household does not have! We put her in a secure memory care unit where she was safe. She meant she was walking from our home in Tennessee back to upstate NY and constantly tried to do just that! She was happy there and safe. DH was with her daily. I know I had my knees done sooner than I thought I would have because I didn't take care of myself while taking care of them. Please have peace with your decision and I know you are loving those new knees!
 
No wonder our original issue knees fell apart. We've all walked too many miles as primary caregivers to ailing elders!
 
Wow! Congratulations @SusieShoes .
Am gone a few days...site is down for another few ......and lo and behold: you're an advisor.
Though there's no connection with the site being off line and your "promotion", eh? :-)
It's a good sign: that your talent for positive replies on top of your own experience is very much needed for all newbies.
Re caring for elderly: in a way your FIL is lucky to have had your care, and in the future am guessing he will have you close by as well?

My DHs mum 96 and aunt 100 have a live-in carer but they live 3 hours away by train.
We cannot convince them to move here. There's 17 of us here and only 3 family members there and those 3 hardly ever visit. We end up taking turns driving or taking train every time there is a crisis. Now since December I haven't been able to. They expect my now retired DH to spend more time with them. It's almost always down a battle of wills and guilt laden arguments. Sigh.
They both often forget I had a knee operation and want me to come care for them...drive them places etc.
 
I never realized so many of us have, or have had, caregiver cares. It certainly adds a whole new wrinkle to recovery, doesn't it? And to life. More on that later.

And thanks again for all the lovely compliments and welcomes for my being an advisor. I'm not usually one to accept any kind of formal status on a message board. I just feel very at home here, and look forward to helping anyone considering, or who has had, this surgery.
 
Three and a Half Months: Pinocchio Knees

Today on my morning walk, Lefty pulled a new trick. In addition to click-clunking along, letting me know he's an artificial joint with every step, there was one step where something in his vicinity "gave." How does one describe a pure sensation? Something inside and low on the knee, near Lefty, went zing, then shot down toward my inside ankle bone and up past the top of the knee. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it tingled. The feeling happened mid-stride going into a step and it lasted only as long as it took for the foot to strike pavement. A sensation of something having happened lingered for several seconds. I kept walking, wondering if I should turn back, or call Mr. Shoes to come get me with the car (one block? Seriously?) but the feeling gradually vanished and everything was fine the rest of the 1.5 mile walk. Perfectly normal. Lefty continued to click-clunk and feel artificial.

I was left wondering, "What just happened?" :what:

I get this feeling a lot. My knees are so different, it's kind of a running joke. Righty is all gung-ho and "Hey, look at me! I'm real!" He pulls it off, too. Righty feels, acts, and functions like an original issue knee. If it wasn't for the scar and some remaining tightness under the incision that webs the joint on occasion, I wouldn't even realize there was an implant in there. Righty is real boy-ing it all the way.

Lefty is my Pinocchio knee. He hopes to be a real boy... er, knee... someday. He's been created to look like one, and act like one, but he's having more trouble becoming fully real. Lefty can be a blockhead sometimes. He does the "I've got no strings!" thing, all proud of himself, but then he goofs up and reminds the world he's manmade. Click. Clunk. Minor ouchies. Sleep grumbles. ZING!

The zing was probably something becoming real. Maybe a little bit of scar tissue popped free. Maybe a tendon edged back into place. Who knows what goes on in there? As long as everything keeps working fine, and doesn't hurt me, I'm going with Lefty's flow. We're getting there, one step at a time.
 
Hah, great analogy Susie! That's a new one on me, so if it happens, I'll know it's ok, lol. If only we knew exactly what was going on in there, eh? Yesterday, while heading downstairs to go on our woodsy walk, my knee did 'The Wobble." It's not enough of a movement to cause complete collapse, it's just a momentary glitch. I know that now, but Mistah happened to be a witness and he does not know that. Needless to say, he was overly concerned and thought perhaps the whole walk idea should be deep-sixed. Hmm, no. And it never happened again the rest of the day. :what:
 
I experienced zingers when I went back to teaching around 12 weeks. Sometimes I was sitting and the zinger would cause my knee to pop up as if a dr had struck it with his hammer. I usually yelped in surprise and my kids thought it was hilarious. But as you said, it only lasted a minute and was more of a shock than anything.
 
:goodpost:Zingers are no stranger to me, too. My zingers have also caused my knee to pop up, like @KarriB. I wouldn't be surprised if it does have something to do with scar tissue loosening, or perhaps nerves making connections. After an episode, I've noticed a little more looseness in my knee. I haven't experienced @Pheebs52's "Wobble," much, though. (Gee, something else to look forward to!) I'm thankful for your sharing, as it normalizes my experiences, knowing that others have had similar things happen.

Good for you, to continue your walk and not panic. I have a friend who has gone walking with me. She watches me closely, and at every hesitation or stumble, she asks if we need to turn around. I appreciate the concern, but I keep reassuring her that it's all part of the process. :bored:
 
Hmmm, I experienced what I labelled as *zingers* early on, in the first 3-6 weeks. They were very sharp, stabbing, knife-like sensations all over the incision area. I *knock-on-wood* haven't had any since, but now I'm wondering if these were not authentic zingers, just some sort of imposter or prelude to the real thing where the knee actually pops-up?

Oh, the things that we all feel
So bizarre, and yet so real!
 
Trouble is, it's hard to describe sensations. Zinger, as a word, covers a lot of ground!

Yes, @KarriB, that sounds pretty much exactly like what I had. A little like a doctor struck it with a hammer. My leg was already off the ground, so it went nowhere other than to feel strange. If I'd been sitting, I bet my knee would have jumped!

@Polkadot, most things in life and knee recovery don't warrant panic. I find most of these oddball sensations to be more annoying than frightening. Serious pain. A loud crack and inability to bend or walk... those would scare me. But this morning it was more, "Seriously, Lefty? You're doing this now? Why aren't you healed already?" Yes, I talk aloud to my knee. People look at me funny sometimes. :umm:
 
I too have experienced all sensations explained I. Previous posts on this thread.not fun! However, thanks to this forum, I know these zingers are a normal aspect of the TKR healing process, so I'm not too,worried when it happens.


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