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Bilateral TKR SusieShoes' New Knees

That is fantastic news Susie!!! You must feel like such a weight has been lifted without having to worry about or deal with pain on a daily basis! I have every confidence that you will reach all of your goals!!!:yes!::spin::happydance::dancy:
 
Yeah for you, lefty, and Mr. Shoes!!! What a great report - I'm so happy to hear of your great progress. Aspirational for us laggards. :cheers:
 
that is wonderful news about your left knee now being pain-free, caught up to your right. you can start planning more adventures now if you haven't already.:hiking:
 
@liam2015, adventures might have to wait just a little longer. It looks like FIL will be going to a nursing home, so maybe we will start cruising again. And I do have an upcoming trip to Wisconsin to visit mom, siblings, and a son and some grandchildren! That'll test my knees however we travel (still not decided about that). But yes, I look forward to some adventures!
 
First....Congrats to you !!!!!! Wonderful to have another advisor aboard. Second......sorry to hear about your FIL. Life can throw a curve ball here and there that's for sure. Prayers everything goes as well as possible.
 
What a great report on lefty. I love reading about your successes, while acknowledging your struggles. You are definitely the poster child for tkr!
 
I know that it tore me up inside when I had to move mother into a memory care unit. I had to sneak out a back door after hiding in my MIL's room there. The next day I visited and she was completely settled in. She would ask about driving by her old house and I said I was busy that afternoon but would do it later. I do believe she did well with the stable structure and activities they provided. I was secure knowing that she was in a safe environment and that when we visited, I only had to be social and not be doing the minutiae of care giving. The staff loved that she was mostly happy and giggled a lot. She was there 4 1/2 years and has been gone nearly 2. :angel:
 
Oh, @Arttie, I hope that's what will happen with FIL. That he won't be angry, but instead find happiness and peace because he will be in a safe, structured place. His dementia had gotten to the point he barely knows us, and he had forgotten how to walk and how to climb stairs, or bathe himself. He just forgot how to shave this past week. It's so sad for all involved. We fear he will fall, and we cannot care for him to the extent he needs, at least not without terrifically costly home improvements. Your mother must have known on some level how loved she was, and I'm sure she enjoyed your visits. You are the angel. :angel:
 
@SusieShoes, it's time for your FIL to go to a safe facility that knows how to deal and treat him. Mama got so bad, that she had awful night terrors and would actually get up and call 911 and then hide under the bed before we could get her settled. The last two years she didn't even know who I was. Hopis was a God send. They made sure she had all she needed including her meds. With the sale of mama's house, I was able to put her into an assisted living home that had a dementia unit. It was heart-breaking to have to do this, but I was unable to take care of her anymore. You are making the right decision for all of you involved. And don't let anyone put a guilt trip on you. Some might try.
 
Thanks, Paula. We expect the move soon, perhaps any day. I doubt anyone could put as much of a guilt-trip on Mr. Shoes and his sister as they have done to themselves. Italian-American families are experts at guilt. I'm even feeling a little guilty because I made such a big deal out of having my knees done--I'd been holding off because I didn't want to be a burden while they were caring for their dad--and pretty much forced my surgery on them by saying I couldn't wait any longer. Kind of selfish of me, but the pain was so bad. But I think I drove home a little how limiting caring for Dad has been for all of us. We're putting off surgeries, our own health care, all vacations. Another person controls our lives. If I'd only known for sure I would have a good recovery and feel as good as I do now, I would have had the surgery sooner and not made as big a stink about it. Me. What about me? I was a bit of a child about it.

As you and others have pointed out, it's a heart-breaking decision. We just have had to admit we are not super powered and cannot do it all.
 
Don't allow yourselves to feel guilty at all, Susie! I saw my mother deteriorate into dementia and it's heartbreaking, but there's nothing you can do to prevent it. My mother didn't recognise me and although she was a sweet little old lady, she didn't seem like my mother at all.

You and your husband and his family have done all you can for your FIL and now it's time for him to have professional care. My mother was happy in the nursing home where we had to place her.
 
Before placing mama, she went through her mean stage. It was awful trying to deal with her then. It sounds like your FIL hasn't gotten there yet. You do not need to have to deal with that. Your knees are far from healed and having a completely unreasonable, mean person around that even gets violent could be injurious to you. Of course, dad might not even get into that stage. I hope not. It is extremely trying. Talking about patience! Wow, a tkr is a drop in the bucket compared to that! Do not be guilt ridden. You are doing the best for your FIL. He needs professional help and you need to relax and heal.
 
Susie, when are you heading to Wisconsin? I'll be there in mid-November to visit my parents west of Madison.
 
We'll visit Wisconsin either in late September or early to mid November. It all depends on Mr. Shoes' schedule. I go to Milwaukee to see mom and my siblings, then spend a day or two in Wausau with one of my sons and his kids. @PolarBear60 , your parents live in a pretty part of the state! :)
 
Doesn't sound like our paths will cross, but I hope you have a wonderful visit. My dad's brother and one of his sisters lives in the Milwaukee area. I'll be paying a visit to one of my mom's brothers who lives "up North."
 
Well, should our paths ever cross, let's find a way to meet up! So far, it doesn't sound like we're related. :wink:
 
@SusieShoes I am feeling for you on the FIL front. My Mom also descended into dementia and it was not a pretty ride! As with @sistersinhim a mean, violent side emerged that was so not my non-confrontational Mom! We had to put her into a home and she eventually became non verbal before her death. Your knees, your overall health, your mental health and the health of your marriage become additional really good reasons for wanting your FIL safe and well cared for!
Enjoy your vacation and your grandkids guilt free!
 
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