Hi,
Maeve: Don't compare your walking with mine. After all, I am living like a hot-house plant ... have not been on a bus, subway, cab, or car in six weeks. Have not been doing hours of physio as you guys call it (I love saying physio more than "PT," which is so boring) like you have. My surgery I suspect was a lot more routine than yours. You know what I"m saying: can't compare our journeys. The one thing I *can* do and am thrilled to do is walk my apt. bldg. corridors. My apt. is too small to have the walking space for practicing walking, so it's the bldg. corridors, which are carpeted and nice and big enough for a nice walk back and forth, all day. Josephine's activity article does mention walking as part of PT, so since that's the one thing I can do, I do that. I also do very very basic PT exercises the hospital gave me. You and others here have progressed beyond these, I am sure. So I expend my energy getting strength from walking. I also must be strong enough to walk at work in a week. I will take a cane, though. And I still must use a cane outside. I'm glad to hear much of your physio was paid for. The coppayments for us all is a nightmare. For anyone who has the means and resources to get to and from physio and find it is beneficial, that's terrific. I don't think it's feasible or even necessarily works for everyone.
I actually have not been very impatient with my progress, but I have had the work deadline to work toward, as I have mentioned in nauseating detail earlier and elsewhere, so I have no choice but to want to speed things up. I am a turtle, very type B--but livin' in a type A world full of hares! So I am pushed to 'speed it up' for their expectations (work people). It tis what it tis. I know from what others have posted that even the nicest coworkers can tend to think that because we've returned to work, we are "all better" and for them, work life has been moving onward and they are not going to be thinking about me and my limitations the way I am. I am freakout out about the chronic lower back pain because I don't want a repeat of pre-op pain at the office where I am standing in someone's office or in a corridor, talking, and all I can think about is my screaming pain. I can't even run errands or meet friends for anything that involves standing where I don't get to sit, because of the back pain. So that's my reason for having been blue and down. I am today feeling more hopeful that it will resolve itself. No reason to think that other than merely wanting to.
Thanks to you and everyone here who has been supportive. Please know that I do not for one nanosecond think that my particular trials and tribulations are worse than anyone else's, and I know that I have not had to endure things that others have. I do count my blessings; but simultaneously worry about pre-op pain and limitations. I wanted to be in the "the pain is gone and I have a new life and can't you see it on my face" camp by the time I return to work, and am sorry it's not the case. But I will work on myself toward accepting that and finding the inner grace to behave nicely rather than like a cranky old broad
Thank you to
TeeEm for those Toilet Tips! Yes, the "handicapped stall" at my office's loo does have one grab bar, on the right-hand wall; a diagonal one. My PT said just what you said: that getting up will be the big hurdle. She thinks I'll have to grab hold of that bar and have my cane in my left hand. Every day I am going to take that plastic stinky toilet thing off my toilet at home and give a very careful trial run just to see what I can do. So far my right knee gets a sharp pain when I try to get up, and that scare me.
Any thoughts about getting rid of the plastic toilet thing once we are done with it? I have no room for it in my bathroom or apartment. I tossed out the box it came in, too, as I didn't want PORTABLE TOILET SET RISER WITH HANDLES in a big box for all visitors to see. Noplace to hide that box. I thought that charitable organizations did NOT take bathroom stuff like this as donations, but I could be wrong. Maybe we should start a crafts thread where we come up with ideas for disguising/decorating those toilet things to blend in with our decor ... maybe some type of camouflage paint.
Songlady: I'm so glad to hear you have figured out a routine/protocol for dealing with your back spasms. I know you are not minimizing mine, so no worries! You use the word "spasm," which sounds more drastic than mine. My pain is just a constant one when I walk--whether with the cane (which I need when I walk outside) or whether without the ane (when I walk inside on those corridors). I would guess that the pain is worse when I am walking outside for a few blocks and when I am standing as in standing in line somewhere.
I am heating the area a lot; taking tylenol. Afraid to fire up the heavy artillery pain meds (which for me was Norco) again after having been off them for more than a week, though I appreciate your advice about this. But the Norco leaves me lighthead-ish after a few days building up in my system, and I can't afford to be anything but crystal clear once work begins (in a week). I will ask the OS at checkup time about it. I had to postpone some socializing stuff with friends because it would have involved standing and I knew i wouldn't be able to alleviate the pain. And had to exit stores where I wanted to run errands because it involved standing and waiting for 20 minutes and I coudln't stand it. See, THIS is the pre-op pain I wanted the surgery to fix. I can't strap on a heating pad in a store (hey--that's something else we should invent: the portable heating pad; maybe bring back the 1980s fanny pack as a fashion statement and then hide within it some type of heating pad for when we are out and about and away from an electrical outlet).
Am trying today to not be weepy and without hope. But it's hard. I can at least still practice walking and when I live in my controlled environment for the time being, it's not too bad.
ByGosh, I am so glad your back and gait issues got solved with the help of your doc and PT! Yes, the pre-op gait thing being so off and damaging is quite real. Thanks to you on bonesmart i ordered new shoes! Baby needs a new pair of shoes! Ugly old sneakers just like my pre-op years, but they worked the best for me then, so now they are feeling the best for me now. It will be a long time before I am sporting sandals--which with my ugly Howard Hughes toenails (thanks to @LeeAnn for that analogy), is a good thing. No flats or cute shoes for a long time, but that's okay.
I will ask my OS about a cocktail such as the bonesmart one and see what he says.
Hi to
zauberflöte: Hope your recovery is going better. You are still new to all of this! Please do not hang your hope on mine or anyone else's. They aren't the same. I can be without hope about my back pain and knee pain, but that has no bearing on whether you should be hopeful about your recovery. We are all so different sounds trite but it is the greatest truth here. And the nasty truth that no one, even I, wants to say is this: Some of us--hopefully in the minority, and I do believe it's the minority--don't have reason to have hope their lives will have improved drastically. You read about it. For a lot of reasons--and not necessarily the surgeon's fault--stuff happens or has happened already and people don't have the glowing "my pain is gone, my life is all better, everything is roses."
As for my pal, trust me: She does not trot around. In fact, that's why I look up to her. She is 82/3, doesn't try to be the fittest, bestest senior in school, just lives her life. Her aches and pains appear to be just par for the course for that age. I still encouraged her to check it out with her doctor, so maybe she can get some relief. But the cool thing is that her aches have not impeded her life too much. Which is wonderful. And it goes without saying I am thrilled for her, as she and her husband (the most adorable couple) are at their ages still working full time, riding the subway to and from work, and always are going to the theater and concerts, in the nosebleed sections. They aren't type a, workaholic types. Just plugging along, still able to do a good day's work and their bosses have kept them on. She told me she wiill not cry one bit when she has to retire, as she doesn't particularly love going to work. But the point is, she CAN. She is the kind of senior I hope to be at that age: not impeded; able to live a productive life.
She has been lovely about calling or coming by religiously and asking with total compassion how am I feeling (as opposed to a frantic "What is your progress???" question, like it's a race or competition I'm in) and is sad when I tell her the bad stuff, and is joyous when I tell her the good stuff. She lets me feel what I feel and never chastises me with "Count your blessings" as if I don't know to do that. THAT's a truly supportive friend, in my book. She looks great for her age, but does look like a senior and like a frail one at that. She's not one of these uber seniors with the botox and other **** done to herself to make herself look young; doesn't dress silly. Without thinking about it, she seems to just live and look like her age. But in the process gets around. A true role model for me. I adore her. I'm glad for the chance to talk her up here. Sorry for the length of this post1 But thanks toyou and all of you who have given me much support, compassion, and laughter!!!
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