Sorry in advance, scrambled brain alert - I haven't slept very well for various reasons and still feel unsettled. I can't figure out how I'm feeling. On one hand I know that I absolutely must follow my OS instructions to use the crutches again on the other hand the inpracticality (is that a real word?) of this is great.
I was absolutely buzzing a couple of days ago, marvelling at how I could walk without bone one bone pain, I'd been to a standing only concert and danced too...:...I walked around London on Monday this week, having taken my son to see the sights, I did need my stick to do this but hey, I couldn't have even thought about those things this time last year.
I know that this crutch business is only a temporary set back but its really bothering me. I really need the psoas problem to calm down. I've tried the stretches and the chiropractor approach, decreasing activity doesn't seem to help either. The OS, who I totally respect says this may be the way forward so I have to do it.
Already I'm disobeying orders......I got home from the appointment and retrieved the crutches from the garage. Go to the kitchen, prop the crutches up, make a coffee, then think 'ah, how do I carry coffee when using 2 crutches?' So I just used one crutch - totally not taking the full weight off my left leg.....he said he doesn't want me to stop doing things, ie. Ok to drive. but how can I do stuff ? It was easy post op, I physically couldn't move around without the crutches. How can you reconcile being totally capable of walking around unaided 90% of the time with having to use crutches 100% feeling like fraud?
I'm going to have to face up to informing work at some point today. I think that will be a difficult conversation. I think I need to talk to my GP to get a note. I know that if I don't stay off work I will not be able to comply with the OS instructions. I think maybe once I'm using just the one crutch after a fortnight I may be in a different position then. Things are very unsettled at work at the moment and being off again is really not a good thing.
I think I will feel better once I've informed work and know what they have to say. I feel quite tearful and don't want to cry. I know I need to pull myself together and deal with it........sorry again for the whining, just need some support from you guys who may understand where I'm coming from.......its the feeling fake thing that is bothering me most I think. How would you feel and what would you do in my situation?