TKR Second TKR Done, but still not very patient

[Josephine]

Ah, good old TA! I love that philosophy! Though in my counselling training we were taught to view the child, parent adult slightly differently. But I like your definition too. Did you ever read "I'm okay, you're okay" by Thomas Harris? Great read.

Definition of TA: a system of popular psychology based on the idea that one's behaviour and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life.

 

[JackiFL]

Ellen, just read through your entire thread and you are my hero!

You plug away, you rant and rock & roll, you laugh and cry and pound the ground, you're human and healing and witty and going to make your future your own!

It really comes across, though, how hard you have been on yourself.... and I wish I could give you a big hug {{{nbn}}}!

Hugs,
Jacki

 

[patient 99]

good old TA

And my guess would be that Josephine spends a lot of her time in Parent mode <wink>

 

[GimpyGal]

I've barely had time to read a few threads this week as I have house guests.

Ellen, I just wanted to pop in to tell you to be kind to yourself, most of all. I love that you got in your pool!

I also want to say the encouragement on this thread (and all the others, as well) just cheers my heart. What a wonderful group of people hang out here and try to make a difference!

Back to playing hostess - being on my feet too long still takes its toll. Been elevating and icing the past 30 minutes and when the skiers drive up they'll have to finish the meal.

 

[NetballKnees]

@JackiFL .. how lovely of you to visit. I will have to come visit you. Thank you for your very kind words and yes, you are right as are a lot of others on here. I am very hard on myself - much harder than I would be to any other person It might have something to do with being the oldest or something, but I always think I should be doing so much better or working harder or whatever - in everything I do. Except losing weight. I haven't been able to master how to push myself through that consistently.

No-one has ever called me a hero before and I am so un-hero like. As you noticed, I have run the entire gamut of emotions since the TKR, but the majority is sooking. I am actually quite a funny person. I used to be the "funny fat person in the corner" but once I realised that was the "job" I had given myself, I worked a bit on positivity (with the held of a lovely hypno-therapist I have known since he was born) and once I had moved away from that, found I was still quite a funny, witty person. I just wish the forum readers had a chance to see more of that side of me. Soon they will, I think. Thank you so much for the hug. I love hugs and now that the children are all grown and living their own lives, I hardly get any and I miss them so much. I hope everything is going well in your life (I will come and check soon) and your recovery is proceeding steadily.

Big ((((((((((HHHHHHHHHH)))))))))) to you too.

@patient 99 and @Josephine ... thanks for your visits. I have looked up Transactional Analysis and it makes for very interesting reading indeed. I read your post @patient 99 and thought back through some of my posts, and yes, even I as a layperson, can tell when I am being the child, the parent or the adult. And I agree with you patient 99, I think Josephine would spend most of her time, at least on here, as a parent. I have mentioned TA to a lovely friend of mine who has given me a few sessions of hypnotherapy and although he does not know anything about it, he said it sounded like something he should take a look at.

@GimpyGal ... as always it is lovely to have you visit. I have been to see you a couple of times and it is a pleasure to read how your life is starting to resume a normal rhythm. I see you are playing hostess. You really should make them do more. What's the point of having that big scar if you can't milk it for all its worth. They're warning me at work that I probably won't be able to milk it for too much longer.

Another good thing happened last night. I sleep for about 2 hour stretches, but am usually woken up by the need to go to the ladies room and not pain. Oh, and to change sides and knees on pillows. Last night I managed a nearly 4 hour stretch and when I woke and stretched my legs, something felt funny. Then I realised that I had turned over in my sleep (I haven't done that since the op) and my knee was softly nestled on the bed itself - no pillow under it - and it wasn't hurting, wasn't swelling and wasn't any tighter than it normally is. Another little step forward and so far, no step backward.

Appointment with OS on Wednesday. Despite some improvements, the bend has not changed from about 70-80 (at best), so it will be interesting to see what he says.

Once again ... ... to everyone for visiting. I appreciate your support, encouragement and motivation very much.

Ellen

 

[Josephine]

I have mentioned TA to a lovely friend of mine who has given me a few sessions of hypnotherapy and although he does not know anything about it, he said it sounded like something he should take a look at.

Suggest he starts with the book I linked earlier ...

 

[leejaa]

4hrs of sleep and moving the knee - celebration again . Good luck with the OS.

 

[NetballKnees]

Well, what a day. Had second follow up with OS today. I am 15 weeks post op tomorrow. He was very disappointed to see me walk in with a crutch, but when I explained that I used it as a support for the non surgical knee, he was happier. He was very disappointed I had not reached 90degree flexion yet. He asked me to pull the leg back as far as I could and eyeballed it and thought it was at about 85. He said that after the surgery, while I was still under anaesthesia, he could only get it to 95 and that when he tried the flexion on the original joint before he replaced it, it was only at 100. He said not to be disappointed if I couldn't get much past 95 anyway. However, he was very pleased with my extension. He said it was perfectly flat and that the scar was beautiful. He said a lot of people had more trouble with extension than flexion, but shouldn't have been surprised that I would be different. He reminded me the other knee needs to be done. He said he didn't think there was anything too much wrong and he did not want to intervene in any way, but would just let me go on my merry, slow way. So no MUA for me. He suggested I may be sitting too long at work and that I needed to get up at least every hour and stretch and bend. If only it was that easy. He wanted me on bikes, getting my heart rate up and building muscles again. Oh, and he said my fat legs (his exact words - how rude). would also be holding flexion back. :iagree: (unfortunately).

He wants to see me again in April with new x-rays of the surgical knee to check everything is tracking properly and the prosthesis is in the same place he had put it.

Then tonight I went to the gym for personal training - for the first time since the op. My personal trainer, Celeste, who is just a lovely person, was quite gentle with me. We did lat pull downs; shoulder press; bicep curls; chest extensions. We worked at lower weights than back in October, but not much lower. I usually am at a very high weight because I have, sorry HAD, really good upper body strength. Somehow I think my knees will take a back seat tomorrow. I warmed up on the recumbent bike - 5minutes and upright bike - 5 minutes. I was very disappointed with the bikes. For the recumbent I had the seat back as far as I could, but still could only manage backwards and forwards. For the upright, I had the seat as high as I could, and again could still only manage backwards and forwards. I am a long way off doing a full rotation. A couple of times though, I sort of automatically went to pedal al the way around - now that hurt. No amount of hip lifting, seat raising or seat putting back could get me to do a full rotation. In an effort to help me "get my heart rate up", Celeste and I have agreed to do two personal training sessions a week for a few weeks and for one of them to be boxing (I love boxing), but I would be seated on a swiss ball, rather than standing. That should be good for the abs too.

Hopefully, even just the 45minutes at the gym will help me sleep longer than a couple of hours at a stretch.

Anyhoo - that was my day today - with some work thrown in.

Take Care Everyone ... and be kind to yourselves ..
Ellen

 

[Jozilla]

I get mixed up with the time differences and see you have already seen the doctor today! He sounds like a very good doctor and explained things well especially your ROM. We're you able to ride the recumbent bike before surgery? If so then I do think you will be able to do so again shortly.

His comment about your leg size is totally outrageous. I did have a doctor a long time ago that talked like that but he was a longtime family friend with a warped sense of humor. He probably was one of the best doctors I ever had though and I loved him.

I think having a personal trainer is a great idea. I think you made a lot of progress with one session. I always think of restassured's amazing posts and how her personal trainers have helped her so much.

Keep up the good work! I will talk to you soon.

JoAnne

 

[Josephine]

Oh, and he said my fat legs (his exact words - how rude). would also be holding flexion back.

Sadly that's a reality of life all we big girls have to cope with! I get 125 but I know if my legs were the appropriate size for my height (ie BMI of 25 instead of 44!) I'd probable get 135 or more. Same thing with swelling.

Still at least your surgeon was nice and laid back about it. That's a big plus. I so hate it when I see people being stressed out and scared by their surgeon's attitudes.

 

[Ellejay]

Oh Ellen, you wrote me such a wonderful supportive message and now I realise you have had real problems yourself, what a kind caring person you must be to do that.
You've had lots of advice on taking it easy so I won't repeat that, I just wanted to send lots of hugs to you. Your pool episode sounds amazing. I had to take my two year old grandson (& family) to France last summer to get some time with him in a swimming pool, I just loved it, he was so delightful in the water. They live on the opposite side of London to me, so it takes a while to get there and quite honestly the public pools there are not very nice places. Perhaps we can have another holiday together this year so I can play with him in the pool. I'm looking forward to my first swim, not for a couple of weeks yet, hopefully I will find a quiet time at a public pool when I can visit.
Compared to you I seem to be having a very easy time, but that doesn't mean I can't be here for you, to listen and to sympathise. Take care and continue the good work in the pool xx

 

[GimpyGal]

Ellen, I don't know if you realize how inspiring you are. The gym? A personal trainer? I'm two blocks from our clubhouse (at our vacation home) and have yet to use my key to even walk in and get a pool schedule. But, you have me thinking about it! My husband is golfing with friends today and there's really no reason why I shouldn't get myself in the water and paddle around a bit

See what I mean? About inspiration?

I have a different take on your doctor mentioning your fat legs. I don't like my doctors to dance around the truth. I know I'm fat (what fat person doesn't?) and if that's what's holding back my recovery - or hastening the deterioration of my other knee - I want to know it and there's no need to mince words. So many doctors don't bring up weight issues when they should.

My OS was clever at my last visit, though, when I asked what I can do to buy more time with my other knee. His answer was to "golf your heart out and stay active, and 'stay' at a normal weight." Now for me, that means I need to get there before I can 'stay' there, so he got the point across without actually calling me fat. Smart man with a good bedside manner, I'd say!

I'm so delighted you are getting longer stretches of sleep. If I follow your example and increase my activity, I may be able to join you. How are you handling work now? Is it easier than it was a couple of weeks ago?

 

[leejaa]

Ellen, more reasons to celebrate yourself. Gym visit and work outs planned with personal trainer. Pretty awesome. I joined weight watchers again yesterday since they have a program that is weight watchers at work - once a week at 330pm. The reason I am bringing it up is your encouragement that I can lose weight but also the talk at the meeting from the leader and her engaging the people attending was to celebrate oneself and the little victories of that week ie. clothes feel looser even if weight same, going to exercise classes, eating more fruits and vegetables. I think all that translates to recovery also - celebrate yourself and what you are doing and achieving.

All of us need to celebrate ourselves more and as you say be kind to ourselves. Lee

 

[pakline]

Ellen, my sweet girl.........you never cease to amaze me! What a great effort you did at the gym!! You have every reason to be proud of yourself! You have been so encouraging & supportive to me, it's time you had something to rejoice about! Clever girl! We have 39 deg heat today, so again, I'm working on client's finances whilst making sure no-one kidnaps my air conditioner (it's a ducted one, on the roof!). I did PT yesterday & was quite pleased with the result. I did a PB on the arm grinder of 377 in 5 minutes so at least I am keeping my upper body strength happening. Big legs:iagree:..........I have them too - mainly due to the lymphedema (inherited) but I also still have some post op swelling in the knee. It's too hot just now to try the stockings but hopefully next week should be a bit cooler & the right time. Have a great weekend! blessings & hugs. Talk over the weekend. Love, Kerry

 

[NetballKnees]

Hello everyone and thank you so much for visiting and being so kind in your words to me @Jozilla @leejaa @GimpyGal @Ellejay @pakline @Josephine Hopefully I will visit you all today and respond.

GG - what a litle diplomat your OS is. I don't consider myself to be inspiring, but last year when I was going to the gym a lot of the younger members would come up to me after classes or when I was working out on my favourite bikes and tell me how I inspired them and when they felt like giving up or slowing down in the classes, they would look over at me with my dicky knees, knowing I was in pain, but just seeing me continue on was enough to have them continue as well. I really don't know about inspiring - I am a bit dogged in that if I start an exercise I have to finish it. Wish I could be just as determined with weight loss. Go and get in that water GG. It will be great. Just be careful not to overdo it as everything feels so much easier in the water and I had to be so conscious of not doing too much. (Oh, that's right I haven't mentioned about my pool exercise yet. At the end of this thread)

Kerry - I have already been to visit you today. What a lovely happy place your thread is.
Lee - well done for joining Weight Watchers. You will do beautifully, I am sure. And your leader is right. Most people, and definitely I am at the front, need to celebrate the little victories more and just roll over the little setbacks.
Ellejay - thanks for much for your lovely words. They mean a lot. It is lovely to see the children when they are happy in the water. Granchildren are just sheer joy, aren't they?
Josephine - wise words again. I have decided that I am not overweight anyway - I am under-tall. Apparently I should be 7foot 6 (225cm).

Once again, thank you all for your very lovely words and encouragement to me. I do appreciate it so much - probably more than you realise.

Love and hugs to all ...
Ellen (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[NetballKnees]

Back already ... I forgot to mention that last night I went to the local pool with a friend from work and while Heather did her lap swimming, I walked slowly up to the middle of the pool and back a few times and then floated on a noodle and did some gentle bending and stretching of the knee. What I found particularly helpful was to sit on the noodle while it was underwater with the knees bent (kind of like on a chair) and then walk until I couldn't touch and back again. Walking in that bent position seemed to help stretch the leg nicely. If that was not a correct thing to do, someone please feel free to jump on and let me know. I did have to be very careful not to overdo it because everything is so much easier in the water that the temptation was to keep going for ages.

So after gym Wed night and pool last night, and because today is my RDO, I am having a nice easy legs up and icing day.

Take Care All ...

 

[Josephine]

Josephine - wise words again. I have decided that I am not overweight anyway - I am under-tall. Apparently I should be 7foot 6 (225cm).

Well, we don't have to worry about your sense of humour, anyway!

Walking in that bent position seemed to help stretch the leg nicely. If that was not a correct thing to do, someone please feel free to jump on and let me know

Sounds pretty good to me. Well done!

 

[NetballKnees]

Thanks Josephine. If walking while sort of seated sounds pretty good to you, I will continue to do it.

Have a great weekend ...

 

[Jozilla]

Hi Ellen - you sound great as usual! I am the shortest and heaviest person in my family. I seemed to have inherited those genes. My brother and sister are both almost six feet tall and I am 5'2". Also I have no thyroid which was removed ten years ago and created havoc on my metabolism for quite awhile.

Awesome progress in the pool. Yes you are inspiring to many of us! You have worked so hard to get to this point and you always cheering others on.

Tell Sebastian he better watch out in the pool now and I hope you get to visit with him soon. My life is complete thanks to my grandchildren. They remind me to look at life differently.

Hugs to your puppies too!

JoAnne
Xoxoxo

 

[DogLoverx3]

Keep up the great work Ellen!! Glad you're enjoying your gym and pool time!