TKR Second TKR Done, but still not very patient

[ARHip]

Netballknees,

This is not only a place to encourage, post our story and challenges, it is also a place to rant. When you get discouraged, the BEST thing you can do is pour out your frustrations. This, you have done very well. This you were supposed to do. For healing, physically and emotionally, you needed to do this. This IS part of your healing.

No one of us KNOWS what tomorrow holds. We make educated guesses. We encourage. We help each other remain strong. But we do not know. Yet, given the way things typically work and normal recovery, we can hope things will get better. My prayer for you is that your courage will be strengthened, love around you will be multiplied, and your knee will get better!

 

[Jozilla]

Hi Ellen - it is okay to have a down day and we are here for you. Your posts on my thread are always so kind and full of good advice. I think the stairs are very hard and probably use the most muscles out of any of my exercises. I only go one step at a time. My pt has been great but he will not let me do more than 20 steps in any one session and that is just up and down one step. I do think they are helpful for me but maybe if you just do them once a day while at work and only one at a time. I have good rom but I don't care if that's the way I have to do steps the rest of my life. You are very hard on yourself probably due to your athletic background. I could win an award for doing barely anything the last two months and have really enjoyed being so lazy. I know that is not the norm either so I need to get myself moving a bit more. For me the worst part of recovery has been a lack of energy issue. You will continue to improve just like the experts here advise you though it is a long process. Your rom will improve for several months so hang in there. We care!

 

[Josephine]

The last few days at work I have been going into the stairwell twice a day and walking up one flight to the landing and back down again and then repeating that (so twice). Then I have been putting my legs (one at a time) up on the second step and bending into the knee until loose and then straightening the leg and trying to touch toes to stretch the hamstring. I have been managing the stairs well and can even go up one step at a time. It is not pretty, but I can do it. It is only twice up and down the flight and the bend and stretch for a few minutes and I did feel good afterwards. BUT, I had today off work as my leg was so swollen and tight I could not get into the car let alone drive it. I have been crying a lot of the day. I am so scared.

Yes, of course you are scared - you kind of put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger! In other words, you did too much for your first try at stairs! Gee wiz - how about starting with just once up and down for a few days, then twice for a few days, then doing the bending into the knee thing just once or twice for a few days and do on? That would still have resulted in some swelling and pain but probably not quite as much.

But the main thing you need to get your head round is that these extra activities are bound to result in a pay back of swelling and pain. You can't avoid it. So instead of allowing yourself to go into 'scared out of your wits' mode is to expect that 'this' activity will result in such an event. It's normal. You've not damaged anything. We all had to go through this. Juts know it will happen and next time you have these great ideas (and it was/is a great idea) just break it down into smaller bits and build up slowly. Okay?

what if I never get more of a bend; what if I can never ride the bikes at the gym again, what if this is as good as it gets for me and worst of all, what if I can never get down on the floor again and play with my grandson In a matter of a couple of days I have become a blubbering mess. I am lost - I don't know what to do any more.

Life is full of what-if's. So what if these do all happen - whatcha going to do about it? The same as we all do, just get on with life and play it out the best we can under the circumstances.

All of life of a gift, my dear. There's no point in anguishing over things we might not be able to change - what if they don't happen anyway? You'll have wasted all that time and emotional energy grieving over nothing! Be glad for what you've got, a lovely grandson who wants you to come on the floor with him - I'm sure he'd be just as content to sit on the settee with you!

That must mean I am a dancer because I am a Fred Astaires

Now, if you can come out with a brilliant gag like, there's plenty of life in the old gal yet!

 

[jeano]

Ellen, dear, you need to embrace your inner lazy person like Jozilla and I did. I was the biggest lump imaginable. Except for PT and maybe waddling to the kitchen I took it EASY for as many hours of the day and for as many days as I could. YOUR KNEE IS IN CHARGE and YOUR KNEE is going to LET YOU KNOW IT everytime you decide to be your own worst enemy. Despite the fact that I was the sweetheart of PT because I was doing so marvelously well and had such great ROM I managed to overdo it spectacularly by RIDING IN A WHEELCHAIR (knees were flexed too far and for too long) and paid for several days with decreased ROM.

You cannot take giant steps. Your 7 league boots got misplaced at the cleaners and there is nothing you can do about it. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you got!

Now that I have your attention, let me tell you a little story. About 20 years ago my gang at work went to a little artsy fartsy village for a team building day. We had lunch, did fun things in this quaint little town. There was a skate rental place and a great rail-trail so we all decided we would RollerBlade. (One of us managed to get herself seriously injured doing this, but I digress). The pack skated off without me and I was trying to sort out how to not fall down. I had ice skated once in my life with disastrous results, and I had roller skated maybe once as well. And I was over 40 and had sprained both ankles about a million times. On the roller blades I'd wobble and fall and wobble and fall. I was getting banged up pretty thoroughly but since I had knee pads and padded gloves it was going to take a long time for me to get beat to a standstill so I persevered. Suddenly a fellow driving past screeched to a halt, jumped out of his car, and asked if I needed help. He was a rollerblade instructor and it was my lucky day, because he gave me a free lesson out of the goodness of his heart. His lesson took about 30 seconds. He showed me how to push out instead of stride forward, and he watched me try to follow his instructions, and he repeatedly said "Take baby steps. Take baby steps." Then he drove off and left me to it. When I took baby steps I stayed upright and was skating or close enough. When I stopped taking baby steps I fell down.

Try baby steps.

 

[leejaa]

Ellen, I am so sorry you are in despair again. I know you are frustrated and someone said it is probably hard on you since you have been so much more athletic most of your life. I believe, you will again but it will take time, especially with the non operated knee misbehaving for you.

I realize I am doing so much better than you but still the knees keep getting a bit stiff and some swelling, especially the right newer one. It is annoying and so much worse for you.

Someone at a meeting today said you cannot eat an elephant in one bite- you have to take small bites. Start nibbling - I hear elephants are low calorie so that you will not gain weight.

So impressive that you are going to do the gym - but again - listen to Josephine -- you need more elevation and rest after working so pace yourself -- you know pace and patience sound alike. So what if the house is more dusty than you are used to - heck at the rate I am going with work and hours I might have to wait till retirement to actually have a clean house. Luckily, the cat and dog do not mind and if husband does not like it he will have to do it.

We all care about you so do not mind that you have a rant here and there - it is therapeutic and cleansing. This is the place for it. You are so supportive to so many others on this forum.

 

[NetballKnees]

Thank you all so much for your posts. Lovely to see someone from the hip area come over to help give me a reality check ... @ARHip and thank you for your support. I appreciate the time you took in coming to visit Jean, Lee, Jo, Josephine and Judy and for your, as always, supportive and encouraging posts.

I have just re-read my last post and boy was I wallowing in it. I basically just sat down and it poured out my fingers on the keyboard. I don't like to burden the children when I am like that. It is not their job to comfort me, rather my job to comfort them. Similarly, I do not want to dump the lot on my friends. They all have their own lives and worries and quite frankly, some of them are getting a bit tired, I think, that my knee is STILL causing so much angst. That's why this site is such a godsend.

I am home from work again today and as it is a long weekend, will have had 5 days off to recover from my stair episode. I must admit I am still a bit lost and unsure, but will have to keep saying PATIENCE over and over again to myself. Believe me Jean and Jo, I am a very lazy person. When I'm not doing gym or working in the house, I am quite happy to just sit. That's why I am a bit surprised that all this sitting is getting to me, but I guess it is because I can't do the necessary work to make the sitting so appealing.

So I will listen to everyone and take baby steps (by the way, great story Jean). Great advice Judy and Josephine.

Lee - don't ever sound even remotely slightly uneasy that you are doing better than I am. I am genuinely happy for anyone who is doing reasonably well as I know what a hard journey this is. You too, have had your problems and needed all your strength to get this far. I am a bit disappointed in my own strength of character, or lack thereof. I will have to keep my eyes out for that low calorie elephant. I actually love elephants. They're such beautiful creatures and have such wonderful family values.

So once again, thanks wonderful Bonesmart friends for propping me up when I needed it. And thanks again ARHip for taking the long journey across from the hip forum.

My love and hugs to you all ...
Ellen

 

[pakline]

My dear sweet Ellen.....I am so sorry that you've had a rough episode this week. I do understand your pain, I understand your frustration & your disappointment. I spent about an hour surfing the net this morning (prior to reading your post of yesterday) & discovered several web site forums about knee replacement & without exception, they ALL gave the same advice,....patience, time, being kind to oneself, letting the frustration out, accepting help, &they also emphasised that IT WILL GET BETTER & all your/our/my tears will be healed along with our knees. The more we push ourselves, our knees, the slower improvement will happen. I know it is very hard to grip that, but to just believe that it will happen, we will heal, we will get back to a normal life, does create, within me, a certain calmness. Please be kind to yourself, love yourself, love your knew knee, & above all, feel free to come here amongst your friends, & let it all out. You have helped me so often.....I hope my cyber hugs will help you. Sleep well dear friend...tomorrow is another day & it WILL be better than today! Hugs & blessings. Kerry

 

[kneeper]

You're definitely right--this is a safe place to pour out your frustrations. Knee recovery sure can be a rollercoaster.

 

[NuNe4Me]

It sounds like you may be pushing yourself TOO hard. Your body views this as a trauma, and you need to give it time to heal. God may have let this experience happen to you to teach you the value of patience. There is no other way through this, but with patience.

Know you are not alone,

 

[leejaa]

Ellen, we all have our moments. Just remember pace yourself and patience.

OK, enough of the advice-- now for the elephants -go to www.elephants.com. This is a elephant sanctuary in Tennessee, United States. They do great work for elephants and they even have an elecam so you can see them in real time. They are NOT a zoo so no visitors but letting the elephants live safely and get taken care of. Many of them are former circus elephants and some have had such sad lives and yet they bond and care for each other here. They even had one elephant and dog who were best friends. The stories are there on line. They are magnificent and smart and beautiful creatures.

Many hugs to you. Also, let's celebrate that you could do the stairs --. Pretty awesome. Lee

Some snow for you since I cannot send any of our frigid temperatures to your heat wave

 

[DogLoverx3]

Aww sweetie, I'm sorry you're so down. You are absolutely allowed to throw yourself a pity party and be self indulged (heaven knows I do it all the time) ;-). I know you want to move things along and have some semblance of your old self back. I think we all have concerns about when/if its going to happen and by and far, you have been more positive and patient than most. I must tell you though, although I'm thrilled that you conquered the stairs, I think you overdid. Big time. Not only did you go up and down the stairs (twice), but you were taking them one at a time? That puts a LOT of pressure on your knees. I live in a 2 story house and have only attempted the stairs once. I wish I never needed to walk stairs again. Although you wanted to insure that you could do it, there wasn't a need and I totally understand getting carried away and wanting to keep going.

You're only 3 months out and stairs are hard to master. If you read through threads, most people can't even do one leg stairs for 6 months. You did it at 3. Sure, you're paying for it today, but you did it! Now you know that although you should probably take the elevator ;-) when you are faced with a flight of stairs in the future, you won't need to be a afraid.

As for your ROM, it will come. I won't tell you to be patient as that would just be hypocryctical of me. Here's something that a friend once told me (that I'm still working on following) - DO NOT worry about what may or may not happen in the future and enjoy what you have today. If you're always busy looking down the road, you'll never see what's right in front of you!

Please be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up. You overdid. Lesson learned. I did it last night too and am in the same boat with not being able to bend my knee this afternoon. I know that it is temporary though.

You will get to the gym and you will do upper body exercises, use the treadmill (gently) and you will work your way up to being able to do more. I have every confidence in you!!!

xoxoxoxoxox

 

[Josephine]

I have just re-read my last post and boy was I wallowing in it. I basically just sat down and it poured out my fingers on the keyboard.

I think you just described the objective of BoneSmart!

I don't like to burden the children when I am like that. It is not their job to comfort me, rather my job to comfort them

Oh come on now! You do your children a disservice by excluding them. I am quite sure your children would be very upset if they knew you had that mind set. Besides which, this is a great character building opportunity for them and a great relationship builder for all of you. Look at it in reverse - if they were in distress or depressed, I am quite sure you'd expect and want them to share it with you, no? That's what families, friends and relationships are all about, sharing.

 

[pakline]

So very true @Josephine - my daughter was wonderful - school is about to resume, so she now has to concentrate on getting 3 children ready for another year of education & has just started a new job, so I had to take second place (rightly so). I felt like a ship lost at sea for a few days until my husband (who does not cope with drama, pain, or having his plans changed, at all. He can also be VERY moody & uncompassionate) offered to drive me to my out of town job.... & has become very helpful since! I feel loved once again! Miracles can happen.

 

[NetballKnees]

all you lovely, caring fellow Bonesmarties for taking the time out of your own busy lives and recoveries to help make me feel better. Kerry, Lee, kneeper, Ellen, Josephine and Annie. I appreciate all your efforts and advice.

Now for some GOOD news - today I got in my pool. I love swimming and love the water - water is so calming and restful. I have been unable to get in because there are no gradual steps into the pool, no ramp etc. The first step down onto a platform ledge where the littlies can splash in shallow water was too steep of a step down and I have been scared to even attempt it. It is definitely not something I could do by myself. My eldest, David, his wife Kim and my beloved Sebastian, together with his 4 year old cousin, Kayden, came over for a swim today. I was determined I would not miss this opportunity to spend some time in the pool with them. So, thanks to the use of David's very strong and capable shoulder and the help of a landscaping rock on the pool edge, I put my left hand on David's shoulder, my right hand on the rock and stepped down with my right leg first, then my left and I was on the ledge. Then I used David's shoulder again as I stepped down to the step and I was in the pool. It felt so good. I did some gentle walking around the area where I could touch the bottom, did some very gentle and little squats and then simply towed Sebastian around on the pool noodle and caught him as he jumped in from the ledge (no fear in that child). It was amazing. To get out, surprisingly I did not have to wait for a flood to float me out, I put my left hand on the rock, David grabbed my right hand, right leg out first and David hauled me up. Easy. OMGosh, I loved it so much feeling the water flow over me.

Today, in this dance of one step forward, 4 steps back, I am content.

Love and hugs to all ...
Ellen

 

[Jozilla]

Hi Ellen - your swim and visit with Sebastion sound heavenly. What more do we need in life than love and time spent with family. Have a wonderful weekend! Sounds like you are off to a great start.

 

[Josephine]

Brrrrriliant!

 

[leejaa]

Fantastic. So happy for you.

 

[kneeper]

Your time in the water sounds like just what you needed.

 

[jeano]

I betcha some very gentle stretching and exercising in the pool will help that ROM, too. (Always provided you dont decide you need to tow a rowboat while frog kicking or anything like that, you little overachiever, you!)

 

[patient 99]

Hi, Just caught up on your thread. It makes interesting reading when instead of getting daily updates, you can read a thread over several days/weeks. So much of the excellent advice is directed at your knee. But so much of your problem isn't your recovering knee its what's going on in your head.

Ellen, are you familiar with Transactional Analysis? Very briefly it divides a person into 3. The Adult, which is rational and deals in facts and reality. The Parent, which is concerned with caring and nurturing. And last, but by no means least, the Child. The Child - sometimes full of fun, sometimes full of fear and scared to death.

When I read your messages its very clear when you are in your Child - your scary child. You cry, worry, play a game of `what if' etc. Next time Scary Child gets in the driving seat, get your Parent and your Adult to have words with her - Scary Child will listen, I'm certain of it.

ps: and while your having a talk to her, give Scary Child a cuddle - she likes cuddles.