Questions galore! & Second Thoughts

[ditzy dinah]

I realized I am a control freak! I need to come to grips with the fact that I can not control everything about my surgery or recovery. All I can do is have an influence on the outcome. I hate being dependent on others and I hate asking for help. This experience is going to be a lesson in life!

Yeah Janis Me too!! I haven't make the list yet, but I am sure it is coming! Your awareness is impressive, wise words, particularly the bit about your role being not so much control as having an "influence on the outcome". I think you have got that spot on!

This experience is going to be a lesson in life!

Ain't that the truth!!

I am also concerned because my husband does not have a clue as to what he has signed up for

Yes, I am worried about that too! I am worried that mine is expecting my recovery to be faster than it is going to be. When I try to gently point this out to him, he tells me I am being negative, when I think I am being realistic! I am also concerned that he will blame the slowness of my recovery on my not working hard enough on PT omigawd!!
I am sorry that you had such a ghastly time with your sinus surgery. It sounds just miserable. You may be less mobile this time around, but hopefully less uncomfortable...lets hope so. Maybe when Craig sees how much assistance you will need in the early days, he will be happy to be of use to you, and will come up trumps! He may have felt powerless to help you last time. I am inspired by others who have described their recovery as a time of letting go and letting the healing take place in its own time, as has Judy B above. I guess we have to aim for that too. If we can find that calmness, then perhaps anger won't follow. However an emotional "melt down" or two seems to be par to the course! Oh well we will just have to go with the flow!!

 

[Jsankowski]

Maybe when Craig sees how much assistance you will need in the early days, he will be happy to be of use to you, and will come up trumps!

Last night, Craig and I watched a "live," TKR on Youtube ...well he watched I could barely look! Anyway, I said to him "now you know when you are off with me I might just be in "lala land," and not really need anything but help getting up," and he said "so are you telling me I will be wasting my time taking days off from work?" Oy VEY! By the way, I do not think I shared, my husband has Aspergers. So empathy is NOT even in his makeup! Craig will be off with me the weeks I have surgery and then my Momma will be taking care of me! Thank goodness!

 

[Lovestoread]

Thank goodness for Momma!

 

[kneeper]

Always nice to have mom take care of you.

 

[ditzy dinah]

Wow Janis, you are so brave...don't let anyone put one of those live op videos anywhere near me just now!! Might be interesting if I wasn't about to have this op!! Oh dear oh dear...must be a challenge living with Aspergers! See where you're coming from....great news that you have got Momma coming in to save the day!! Peter is still going along trying to convince me that I am going to be just fine....but this is NOT going to be a walk in the park...he is just not listening. Today I was telling him about the toilet frame and raised seat I am going to get, and he was telling me I won't need them! I am going to have 2 stiff knees go figure!! I just want anything that is going to make life a little easier while the healing begins!

 

[Lovestoread]

Dinah, that raised toilet seat is a godsend! I like mine so much that it might just become a permanent fixture. Janis, get whatever you need to make life easier for you post-TKR.

 

[Jsankowski]

Dinah get the seat! I decided to replace both of my toilets ... a friend gave me an excellent price on two ADA toilets and I jumped all over the deal. My vanities are close enough to the toilets that I can use them to support myself getting up and down. One less thing I will have to worry about. Love my Mom being there, she will know what to say, how to help and what to ignore. Oh and I have to say my Mom makes the best chicken noodle soup! I do not eat chicken or noodles normally BUT I will eat her soup! I already put my order in!​

 

[Jsankowski]

Oh dear oh dear...must be a challenge living with Aspergers!

Lol! it is an experience, he can be self-centered and as I said no empathy but he tries and loves me! There is no grey area, everything is either black or white. I can not just drop hints or clues I have to be very direct. If I need something I must ask. I can not put my feet on his lap and say oh my feet hurt sooooooo bad and expect him to know that means please rub my feet. I have to say "please rub my feet they hurt". If I am in pain he does not see it unless I say I am in pain! He also has his "projects" which are his priorities. Our yard is a project and it is beautiful, but I know the yard comes before anything ...even me. When I am recovering I will need to remember all of this and if I am not getting help I will call my Mom over sooner!

 

[referee54]

Dinah, that raised toilet seat is a godsend! I like mine so much that it might just become a permanent fixture. Janis, get whatever you need to make life easier for you post-TKR.

Yes---it is a great thing to have and makes things---ahem---much easier!

 

[Gaborik2013]

If you look on eBay and Craigs List you can find them pretty inexpensive. I wouldn't be without mine.

 

[Travlingirl04]

I came home from the hospital with a walker that I used all of two days.....however I discovered that if you push it over the toilet you can still sit and it is a great help getting up. So that is where I left it for my first 2 weeks at home. You can also look at thrift shops for some of those things. Our local hospice has a shop that has lots of good equipment. I pick up a pair of crutches that looked brand new for $5.00

 

[Lovestoread]

My town has a "nurse's closet" that people donate to. I borrowed a cane prior to my first knee surgery in June. I still have it and don't need to return it until late September. They also have walkers, crutches, etc. you might want to check with your town.

 

[Jsankowski]

I bought a cane at an Artisan's outdoor market it has purple peace signs carved on it ...goes with my hippy dreadlocks! The woman who made it measure me and cut it down. I am ready to rock ..I am painting my walker this week and decorating it!

 

[Jsankowski]

For my surgery I will have an epidural, conscious sedation and a peripheral nerve block ...my concern is hearing saws and hammers. Anyone have my cocktail combo remember anything? When I had my daughter I had a C-section with epidural and I remember yelling at the doctor that my knee was twisted and they need to straighten my leg out on the table. The doctor said you should not feel that, I said listen "why would I make it up straighten my knee!" I could not feel pain but I could feel tugging and twisting.

 

[kneeper]

I think the "happy juice" we get is conscious sedation. You aren't really aware at all but if they need you to cough or do anything they can communicate with you. I think that's what I was told for my colonoscopy anyway. is that true? Josephine

 

[Josephine]

conscious sedation

Hmmm, can't say I've ever heard of that particular term before. Perhaps it's what I know as light sedation, something, to my knowledge, that definitely wouldn't be used during major surgery such as joint replacement. C-sections are different as it's intended for the mother to be introduced to her new infant as soon as possible. Colonoscopy is also different as it's a minor procedure. In joint replacement, it's heavy sedation akin to being naturally asleep except noises and other stimuli won't rouse the patient. However, they are able to cough and swallow and thereby protect their airway. It all depends upon the type of drug used, the dose and any top-ups given.

 

[Jamie]

The key will be to talk candidly with your doctors once you get to the hospital. Tell them ALL that you don't want to hear or see anything and they will make that happen. They have a whole basket full of options to get the job done and keep you comfortable.

 

[Lovestoread]

I had an epidural with sedation....that's what they told me. Whether it was "conscious" or not I don't know. Didn't seem "conscious" to me. The one thing I told the anesthesiologist both times was that I did not want to hear or remember anything! With the first one I remember a voice saying he was going to put a tourniquet on my leg. Next thing I knew I was in recovery. The second time I recall the OR staff scurrying around and the doctor saying hello. Again, next memory is is recovery.

 

[kneeper]

I certainly felt like I had had a great nap when I woke up from the knee surgery.

 

[ditzy dinah]

The one thing I told the anesthesiologist both times was that I did not want to hear or remember anything!

That's just what I'm going to do...totally agree with that one!! and I am reassured on reading that everyone on here who has had that experience says it has worked out well!