Not sure if anyone remembers me??
Hello Everyone,
I was here a bit at the end of last year, beginning of this after a TKR on 11/11/10 that didn't go as routinely as planned. I was diagnosed with significant femoral nerve damage afterward. Now that I am approaching my one year "anniversary" I wanted to check back in here. I find it kind of humorous to classify it as an "anniversary", as I always feel anniversaries are something to be celebrated, and truth be told, if I could I'd go back to 11/10/10, walking in pain and with a limp... and would still be far better off than I am today.
But... life is what it is. And we deal with the cards we've been dealt. I am 46 years old and will (most likely) forever walk with the aid of a crutch - which protects me when my knee gives way (happens all the time), as I do not have the nerve/muscle ability to catch myself. I take Percocet on a daily basis, just enough to lessen the deep throbbing ache - nothing helps the nerve pain, and anything stronger makes me foggy and unable to function - so you learn to live with the pain. Standing up, bending my leg on my own I cannot bend it more than 45 degrees, if I brace my foot on the ground it bends to 80 (this is after MUA). Stairs will forever be one at a time. I need a leg lifter to get in and out of my car - speaking of cars, I had to get rid of my brand new SUV that I bought 3 months prior to my TKR, as I was never able to bend my leg enough to get in the front seat again. (Try trading in a brand new car that is only a few months old... you seriously take a beating on that!!). I cannot sit in regular seats on planes, trains, movie theaters, or concert/sports arenas. In a regular chair I have to sit on the end of it, as I cannot have the edge of the chair press against the back of my thigh (sends pains down to my ankle). I have to park in handicapped parking because the door on my car has to be wide open in order for me to sit down in the driver seat, use the leg lifter and lift my leg over the door in order to tuck it in under the dash. I don't take walks. I cannot ride a bike. I continue in PT, which will likely be a lifestyle. I'm back to work after 7 mos. off. I'm a Realtor and showing and sellling houses is kinda tough, but I take my time and my clients are wonderfully understanding. The list goes on folks.
Because the femoral nerve feeds the quad muscle and the quad muscle manipulates the kneecap, my kneecap doesn't track correctly and is out of place. It causes intense pressure, pain and swelling and when I bend my knee there is a "block" of some sort in there.
I can accept (usually) these cards I have been dealt. I have my moments though, if I must be honest. I have seen spinal surgeons, neurologists, neurosurgeons, orthopedic doctors - having gone to Manhatten over the summer to see a specialist there - with the hopes that someone can shed at least SOME light on how this happened. Sadly, no one knows if it was the tournniquet or the spinal epidural. Different doctor have differing opinions. I am noticing that "like" doctors stick together - even if they don't know one another. And NO doc is going to "take down" another one. I'm not even talking from a legal aspet... I just want to know how this happened to me.
I've have EMG/NCS in 12/10 and again in 8/10 - which showed improvement but no regeneration of the nerve. I cannot straight leg raise, nor can I "kick" my leg out from the knee down. My OS is clueless. In fact the last time I was there he actually said, "Jill, you scare the **** out of me. I have no idea what the heck went wrong". Probably the first honest thing he's said to me since Nov. In his attempts to give me "answers" he has offered to go in and just "remove my kneeap altogether" or "go in and just start digging around", both things that I of course laughed at, and the OS in NYC confirmed that you NEVER have your kneecap removed.
Tomorrow I am seeing a local orthopedic surgeon for another opinion. It's like I keep digging and digging.... hoping a doctor somewhere will have some answers. One thing all medical professionals seem to agree on, is that while I have shown some improvement, albeit very little, it has taken me this long to see this little bit... the chances of me ever being fully recovered are slim to none.
The one thing that terrifies me is that I know eventually I will have to have my other knee done, and one thing I have noticed is that it is taking on a whole lot MORE of the "load" now, and getting sorer and sorer day by day. Its the only leg I can use to get out of a chair, off the toilet, it supports me on each stair one by one, I rest on it more and more to give my "bad" leg a rest... etc. How will I EVER get the nerve to have that one done??? Aaaaackkkkkk!!!!!
I have spoken with an attorney (2 actually) and have been told that there is no legal recourse. Not because I signed something (signing something does not give an MD "permission" to harm us just because we signed it), but because nerve problems are so hard to prove in court. Nerve issues can occur even when the procedure is done by textbook standards and it has to be proven that the doctor did something wrong. In my case, we don't even know what caused it and wouldn't know who to go after anyway. I haven't given up on it yet, but right now I'm concentrating on trying to figure it all out from a mental standpoint and just dealing day to day.
Once again.... I've written a novel. I've said it before... it's like therapy to put the words down. I have supportive friends and family, but no one gets the pain thing unless they have lived it themselves. Thank you for listening. I know I should be here, in this place, with all of you more... people who understand and know.
Thank you for taking the time to read through this... it is very much appreciated.
United Kingdom
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