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TKR PolarBear60's Stryker Triathalon Journey (Right)

I agree with Paula. I had to tell my male friend tonight to clear the table. We had Chinese take out. This was after I had told him how tired I was. Males just don't get it sometimes.
 
sistersinhim said:
It's amazing what some people never see those things that need to be taken care of. Maybe we have spoiled them!
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I know that's true in my case, but I think my husband was already spoiled when I got him. He was raised mostly by his mother, grandmother and maiden aunt, so he had three women doting on him and waiting on him. Our first marital argument happened when he ran out of clean socks, because I refused to crawl around, looking for his dirty socks under the bed. Now, nothing gets washed if it isn't put in the wash basket.

He's a good man, but very literal and not at all intuitive. I have to be very specific about what I need him to do. It's no good saying "The rubbish is ready to be put out." I have to say "Put the rubbish out now, please."

Breaking the jobs up into little parcels isn't too bad, Jean, but do watch out you don't join the ODIC.
 
@Celle, I think the old ways of women taking care of the house and children are still ingrained in a lot of us. I remember as a child both parents worked full time in their dry cleaning business. They would come home from work and mama immediately would start dinner and daddy would sit down and read the paper and watch the news. After mama washed the dishes after dinner, she'd wash or iron our clothes. And on their day off daddy would go fishing and mama and I would clean up the house. I asked her about why daddy gets to sit and do nothing or go fishing while she still had to work, and she said it was because she was a wife and a mother. Back then as a child I realized that this was not fair! Though I did become a wife and a mother, I also worked full time and my having to take care of all the household duties alone really aggravated me. Those marriages didn't last and I think seeing what my mother went through all those years ago still weighed heavily on my mind and I ended up resenting being, what I thought of as, being used. Mothers should teach both sons and daughters that the running of a house is a job for both husband and wife if both work outside the home. I believe working together in the home would strengthen our marriages. Of course, men don't clean the way we do, but everything they would do to pitch in would be so appreciated. Being women we are trained from an early age to see what needs to be done and do it while men are trained to look at the bigger picture and to leave the little cleanup things to us!
 
@sistersinhim that is one reason I live alone. My friend can go home and do his own laundry and clean his own house and I will do mine. It works out well. When we eat out we always split the tab down the middle. He is good though if I need help with something and ask he will help me. He knows I would do the same for him.

@uva55 I love your sense of humor. I wish I could come up with retorts like that. People ask me how I spend my day and my response is like my day BORING.
 
I have found most males are not suggestive beings. So they respond better to statements like, "please mow the law" as opposed to, "the lawn needs mowed". Women are extremely suggestive and would act on a suggestion such as, "the dishes need washed".

Now I need to ask a male friend to put together a telescopic chain saw for me. It's been sitting in my dining room ecer since he carried it in from the porch last week when I had him for dinner. I did say that it needs put together, but nothing, nada. :umm:
 
He must be waiting for you to ask him to put it together for you. You are so right, men need direct statements, while females act on suggestions. I hadn't seen it that way, but it is obvious! I just find it so hard to ask for help for things that I think should be obvious. That is my problem not theirs!
 
@sistersinhim you are so right, I'm very lucky, my husband does pitch in, and he was raised in a home where his mom never worked outside of the home and his dad never lifted a finger in the house, my hubby will clean, do laundry, cook, specially since I had my surgery I have not had to ask him to do anything, he has done it on his own. He has never minded helping me out. Now I I was a little worried the day we got home from the hospital and I asked to get me an ice pack and he asked me where they were, really??? haha, I guess he was just tired after spending 2 nights in the hospital with me.
 
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sistersinhim said:
You are so right, men need direct statements, while females act on suggestions. I hadn't seen it that way, but it is obvious! I just find it so hard to ask for help for things that I think should be obvious. That is my problem not theirs!
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I'm also very independent and will try to do it myself before I ask for help, but when I do I don't feel guilty, I take care of him when he needs me, and I do it out of love and enjoy doing it, it's a two way street!
 
Clara, you have a gem. It's wonderful when two good people have each other.
 
Oh yes, Clara, you are so blessed! Give him a hug for me!
 
@PolarBear60 I just received some free cards from an environmental organization. One is a polar bear. On the cover is a picture of a polar bear and it says, "Advice from a POLAR BEAR - Live Large - Be Thick-skinned - Sniff out opportunities - Learn some good icebreakers - Be fearless - Keep it cool!" I thought of you and send this too you as a get well card!
 
Thank you, FloridaGal! Love that message from the bear.


Jean

RTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 June 2016 LTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 April 2015
Right Knee Arthroscopy: 25 July 2006 Left Knee Arthroscopy: 10 February 2005
 
I love the polar bear message, too. At this stage of recovery, he'd probably tell you to "Chill out" and concentrate on resting, elevating, and icing.
 
I believe you're right!


Jean

LTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 April 2015
Right Knee Arthroscopy: 25 July 2006
Left Knee Arthroscopy: 10 February 2005
 
Back from a visit with my PCM that was scheduled with my hospital discharge. Not sure what it was all about, but my doc days it sounds and looks like I'm doing well. Next appointment with my OS on the 11th. They'll remove the staples then. Got home and the home health nurse was waiting -- she'd tried to call, but I had my phone off while I was in the doctor office.

I guess the nurse visits are part of the home health package. I understand the need for one to get things started and to do the discharge. Today's visit may have been justified, but she's coming back on Monday? Sounds to me like they are racking up the holiday rates they know my insurance company will pay without question. All this when they repeatedly tell me they are just a phone call away. Fine. If you're a phone call away, leave me alone unless I need you. At most, once a week is fine. At least I was able to sent the Occupational Therapist packing with a phone call. The PT is seeing three times a week, and she checks all the vital signs.

The insurance company pays home health and PT 100% of what they bill no questions asked, but my doctor and the clinic get paid almost as low as ten cents on the dollar of what they bill. I'm a little annoyed by that.




Jean

RTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 June 2016 LTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 April 2015
Right Knee Arthroscopy: 25 July 2006 Left Knee Arthroscopy: 10 February 2005
 
No wonder pt wants everyone to keep coming to pt. I politely told mine that I didn't need it and she said she was going to tell on me. Gee, maybe I'll have to go the the principle's office!
 
I told my home health company that I didn't need a nurse to come because I could take care of the incision myself. I had just PT come to my house and only for two and a half weeks. She was the one who removed the staples and she checked my blood (via a meter) so that my Coumadin levels were maintained at the levels my OS wanted. She called OS and they told me the dose to take. So tell nurse you don't need her if you want.
 
I told the home team that I didn't need them since I was going to go to out-patient PT and they happily discharged me at two weeks.
 
I don't get why you need a home nurse. After I was released from 10 days in the hospital and transition unit a nurse came the first night to teach us how to use the PICC line/med pump, then a nurse came weekly to change the dressing on my PICC line and I had a seeping wound! You apparently have no issues and the wound is covered. It doesn't make sense.
 
And they aren't even going to remove the staples. I want the PT. she does useful things for me. I get the nurse needs to see me at the beginning and to discharge me. But the rest of this seems like too much.


Jean

LTKR (Stryker Triathlon): 21 April 2015
Right Knee Arthroscopy: 25 July 2006
Left Knee Arthroscopy: 10 February 2005
 
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