TKR Pain 2 years after TKR

[Eeek]

Oy! I have one dog. I could not walk her alone till I was about 3 months post surgery. She pulls, we walk down a hill and I just wasn’t stable enough to manage her on my own.

It’s hard though...this stuff makes everyone grumpy sometimes, though I hope your husband will chill. My husband wanted to attend a conference about 6 weeks after my surgery....so I had a friend come from the US to babysit and walk the dog. She wanted to come anyway, so it was great.

 

[lovetocookandsew]

I think sleeping in different rooms after this surgery makes perfect sense. Somebody needs to get a good night's sleep! Your sleep patterns are off for now, so hubby is better off where he can sleep uninterrupted, unless he's needed. Two tired and cranky people, one of whom is recovering from a TKR, is a recipe for disaster, so if at least one of you is well rested, it is a much better scenario. (I'm only awake right now, when I'm usually asleep, because my company has an early flight and hubby took them to the airport)

You can only do what you can do, and if he expects more, tough! He'll just have to take things as they are, not as he wishes them to be. My husband is the opposite-he expected things to be much worse, from past experiences with me after surgery, and is pleasantly surprised this time around, as are we both. Last time he took a month off work to take care of me, this time he only needed a week off after I came home from the hospital, but because we had company he only went 2 days this past week so he could hang out with them some. Monday he goes back to work every day as I'm able to manage pretty well. I still need help but he makes sure I have everything I need nearby and/or easily accessible and I'm good for the day. The best way to be after this surgery is to have no expectations; rather take every day as it comes. It's a long recovery with many ups and downs, and both of you will be better off not expecting you to recover at any specific rate, but just take each good day as a blessing and handle each rough day as a team.

 

[Mollymax]

Well hubby and dogs have now left. Can't believe I cried like a baby and told him I didn't want him to go but he has some business to attend to so needs must. Feeling very lonely now though. Daughter and family will be here by tomorrow afternoon and staying till Friday when hubby will return.

You seem to be doing really well lovetocookandsew. Your husband must be happy that things are so much better for your this time round. You have a lovely understanding husband. My hubby is too I suppose. He just doesn't show it and as I have always been a very strong person I suppose he isn't used to me being laid up.

Sitting here wondering if I am missing him or the dogs more and they have only been gone 30 mins

 

[Spex10]

Aw. Chin up. You can do it!
Has that pain subsided? I've never had lymphoedema (thank God!) so I can't comment on how it might feel. I certainly don't have any groin pain.

 

[lovetocookandsew]

Use this alone time as a refresher. Always having someone around wears on me a bit-I like to be alone at times to do what I want, and just enjoy some quiet. Having someone always home has it's benefits, but also it's frustrations. Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, and relax at will with no one to disturb you.

Yes. my hubby is a great help when I'm sick, or recovering from surgery. He waits on me as much as I need, without smothering me, he's willing to do whatever I ask, and never gets cranky about it. I also show how grateful I am for his help by thanking him every time he does something for me, and praising his efforts. I also try not to complain when he doesn't keep things as clean as I like, but just know that I can take care of my home again the way I like later on. But if I really can't take something like my kitchen totally cluttered, he'll fix it for me without getting his panties in a twist.

 

[beachy]

Oh Mollymax! I know what you mean about the hubs. I found this site several months ago and was aghast when I read about the recovery. Hubs and I both had a cavalier attitude about the recovery and it was from true ignorance. As I began reading more on BS the more anxious I became and he thought I was exaggerating. He finally came around after reading articles I sent him. Then he ran into people he knew that had the surgery and they told him what to expect as caregiver. He's come around and now has a "whatever it takes to get you better" attitude. Point is I had more time for him to understand what is involved. But, those first months after finding BS were tough trying to make him understand how our lives were going to change at first for the worse then for the better.

Have yourself a good cry. You probably miss the dogs more at this point Do you have friends (besides us LOL) that can help you until your daughter arrives?
Hope your day improves.

 

[Rhodyrhody]

It's just frustrating. I never sleep during the day. Hubby is good at that and it annoys me... Lol. I slept again roughly 4.30am to 6.30am but have been awake since then. Its now 7.30. So I guess I managed 3hrs sleep last night. I have extremely restless legs which isn't helping.
Sorry to moan folks.

No apologies necessary...I (and probably many others) have come to this board to get insight into something that's going to have a big impact. It's clear there will be ups and downs, any look at those, even through another's eyes, is helpful...good to know the possibilities ahead of time. I will say, I'm very (very) good at sleeping (if we go to bed at the same time and I brush my teeth first...I can be asleep before she gets there) and hopefully that's not one of my problems, but I guess you never know. Hope that issue clears for you soon. Hang in there!

 

[Eeek]

@Mollymax - especially if you‘re a strong, handle it sort of person, it‘s easy for partners to be unrealistic in their expectation. Even patients are unrealistic.

And I think there is some anxiety, which makes people cranky.....your partner doesn‘t know exactly what you are experiencing, so it‘s easy for him to be uncertain....and in my experience uncertainty breeds irritability.

But, you‘re doing a great job. And it‘s not a straight trajectory up to improvement, but you‘re getting there, right?

Hope you have a great weekend and enjoy your daughter‘s visit!

 

[Mollymax]

Thanks all. Managed to make my tea and now sitting watching tv - not there is much on. Place is very quiet without hubby and dogs. He called a little while ago and said he will call me again before bed time. Can't believe how how much I am missing him. I normally enjoy my time when he is away. Not looking forward to the night time on my own though.

Have been trying to read up on this nerve pain in my hand and it is suggested I try rubbing in magnesium oil onto my wrist before bed. I do have some here as i used it when out walking on my thighs as if i walked a great deal of miles i got terrible cramp. So I will give it a go. Just wondered if I should rub some onto my upper thigh tonight too (Well away from wound even though dressing still on) it might help the cramp I am getting. What is your advice 're this?

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Daughter will be here tomorrow with 10 year old grandson and 10 month old grandson - the baby that wasn't well. I haven't seen him since he was ill so looking forward to that.

 

[Spex10]

Sleep well. Lovely to see your daughter and those grandchildren!

 

[lovetocookandsew]

Have a wonderful visit with your family. Just don't make the mistake of doing too much or you'll pay for it (I did too much one of the days when everyone was here; even though it didn't seem like I did much at all, I was up a lot more than usual even though I wasn't actually working. I think that's the reason my knee is still more swollen than it was) Tonight might be a good trial run to see if you can sleep by yourself for a time until your sleep patterns are more usual. If not, you can enjoy watching TV or reading, or make some tea and a snack at 3 am, without worrying about the dogs or hubby being disturbed. Plus this time will show you that you can be on your own successfully when the need arises.
Do you have a laptop or nice size tablet? If so, there are tons of things you can find to watch when you have nothing on the TV. That's why I won't run out of shows. I have the Directv Genie which holds a zillion gigs and I recorded a lot of stuff before my surgery, plus the things it's set to record as usual, plus I downloaded a ton of stuff onto my laptop, plus I have Amazon Prime, Youtube, etc.

 

[Celle]

Just wondered if I should rub some onto my upper thigh tonight too (Well away from wound even though dressing still on) it might help the cramp I am getting. What is your advice 're this?

It's probably pain from having a tourniquet on your thigh during the surgery. Try the oil. It may, or may not, work.
It's OK to use heat on there as well - just keep the hot bag/bottle well away from your knee.

I'm sure you'll manage just fine by yourself tonight. You can do this.
Just make sure you keep your phone right beside you, so you can call for help if you have an emergency - not that you're going to have any emergency, but it's reassuring to know that you could summon help.

After my first knee replacement, my husband had to go away on business one week after I was out of hospital.
He was away for three weeks. I was a bit lonely, but I managed.

 

[Mollymax]

Lovetocookandsew I have my laptop and plenty box sets to watch if need be. I also have several films downloaded onto my tablet. Yes it will be good to get up for a cuppa tonight instead of lying worried I would disturb hubby and dogs by getting up.
Celle I will try the oil tonight and see if the thigh relaxes. I always have my phone beside me but you are right I probably will be ok. It's just nerves. Your husband had to go away very quickly after your op. It's good you managed. 3 weeks must have been lonely.

 

[sistersinhim]

There are many of us who are divorced and had very little help during our recoveries. If we can do it, you can do it! You'll be surprised how well you will do alone. You just might enjoy it!

 

[Celle]

We knew in advance that my husband was going to be away shortly after my surgery,so we made lots of plans to make life easier for me on my own. He phoned me every day, morning and evening, so he wasn't completely out of touch.
It all worked out very well.

 

[nuttybrunette]

Mollymax, I read your thread and I've been away for a day and so much has happened here. LOL Lets' see...dogs, I have 3, including a 100 pound 11 month old puppy. I love them around and can keep my mind off of myself sometimes. I found that a squirt bottle with water in it works well to keep them at bay. I only had to actually squirt them twice. Now I just hold up the bottle or make the squirt squirt noise with my mouth and they back away.

My hubby jokes now that bedtime is 2 AM. We always go to bed around 10-11 but my midnight I'm up rolling around in discomfort. It finally settles around 2, then we can sleep. I just received a Tshirt from Zazzle that says "I survived my wife's knee replacement" Someone on BS mentioned it and I couldn't resist. Tho giving it to him now might have been a bit premature-I'm at 10 weeks. Like someone else said above...I also read some of BS to him, so he could see I was normal. Now he even quotes some of you.....really funny.

You mentioned thigh pain. I have it too. Dr office says its prob from tourniquet. Josephine said at 10 weeks, prob not that anymore. It just feels like bone pain to me. I have no suggestions as I haven't found a way to curb it, but wanted to tell you I can certainly relate. There are some IT band stretches you can do that might help. Look in the library for those.

Hope you continue to heal and maybe get some sleep!!!

 

[Mollymax]

Morning everyone. Day 18. Thanks for your chats. It really helps talking to you all and getting your thoughts and seeing how you all did. I makes me realise it is possible to cope with this.

Well the good news is I slept.. . I spoke to hubby about 10pm then one daughter called 10.30pm. I then went to bed at 11m and read one chapter of my book. Woke at 1am for toilet but went right back to sleep after. I then woke at 5am for toilet but again got back to sleep eventually getting up at 8am. I can't believe it. Now this may be a one off but boy was it good to not be distressed during the night. Even the numb fingers didn't hurt. I wonder if using the magnesium oil on them and wrist helped or maybe I was just so tired I slept through the uncomfort.

Now to shower and breakfast and relax before 2 children descend for 5 days.

 

[Celle]

Well done, Molly!
I'm glad you slept well, too.
Now enjoy time with your children.

 

[Spex10]

Great news. It's amazing what a difference a good sleep makes. Possibly it helped that you had the bed to yourself?
I slept better too and didn't get up till 7. A record since the TKR.
Have a leisurely shower and get all set for the family coming. Lovely!

 

[Mollymax]

Wound this morning. Took the dressing off after my shower. Not sure whether to put further dressing on it. It is very dry looking but I wonder if that's the glue that was used. It hasn't seen water since the operation and still has remnants of the pink stuff they put on my leg. Any advice what I should do now? Is it safe to shower after this now and let it get wet? Sorry I wasn't given much advice so not sure what the best thing is to do.