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THR On the other side of surgery

Please have a serious discussion with your husband’s medical team about what he’s going to be able to do when he is released from the hospital. He will most likely be on serious blood thinners that require frequent testing in a doctor’s office to be sure his blood is clotting properly. This could last several months. He will also likely tire more easily for some time, so don’t expect him to jump back into normal activity. He feels better now because he was seriously ill and that obviously has improved. Discuss the benefits of him spending at least a few days or a week in a rehab center where they can do all this for him. It may be possible to get a home health agency to come to your home for the blood tests if they are required for a while.
 
Well sounds like yourself occupied for today. Happy your husband is feeling better. They did ultra sounds on my granddaughter to check if clots were broken up.
He’s not going to be able to do a lot if he comes home. He will be weak. My granddaughter had to take it very slow & she was only 19 & in good shape other than the clots.
After about 2-3 weeks they let her back to yoga but nothing real physical in the gym.
Well I’m signing off for today. I have to be up & out of the house early tomorrow. Hope you get a good nights sleep.
 
Good Morning! Hopefully you had another good night of sleep.
barbloki said:
If he's back to normal and can start doing stuff around the house and waiting on himself instead of me doing every single thing then I think it will be fine for him to come home.
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Given what we heard from, Jamie, and, myglasshalffull, in regard to her granddaughter, your husband likely won't have much energy, nor be self sufficient for some time. I doubt he'll be doing any cooking, cleaning, laundry or prepping his own food, so the responsibility to have his needs met will fall on you.
barbloki said:
We saw his surgeon today and were told that this wound dressing will take 1 to 2 months so this is going to be a daily thing for me while I'm recovering from my hip surgery. I feel it in my hip every time I bend over him to dress the wounds.
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It was only three days ago that you shared this with us, Barbara. It would be sad to see you put yourself in this position once again.

I am afraid that in being alone, missing hubby and worrying about him that you're losing sight of how this was negatively affecting your well being and you'll end up in the same place, sleepless, tired, overworked and overwhelmed.

Wondering if you have any idea when he'll be released from the hospital? Or if you've looked into options for temporary care for him until you're both stronger?
 
I guess a lot of things are going to last several months around here. My recovery. His wound care. And now his blood clotting care. He's been out of work for 3 weeks and really needs to get back to work. If he can sit in a chair fairly comfortably, he plans to go back to work on Monday. It's annual review time and he has a lot of reviews to write.

His surgeon told me on Tuesday at his appointment that this wound care will go for 1 to 2 months. He also didn't remove the drain on Tuesday like we expected.

We already tried getting a nurse to come dress his wounds but of the 10 home health agencies in-network with insurance, all of them said no. Some days it gets changed 4 or 5 times because every time he has diarrhea or a bowel movement, it has to be redone because it falls out. I think one day I did it 6 times. A couple of times he had to poop in the middle of the night so I had to get up. There's no way a home health nurse can help with that and he refuses to go stay in a rehab facility. He wants to be here to take care of things around the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking out the trash) and taking care of me. I don't know what else I can do except deal with it. It is what it is. Other people have it worse than I do so I shouldn't be complaining. I'm going to make the best of it and do the best I can.
 
barbloki said:
There's no way a home health nurse can help with that and he refuses to go stay in a rehab facility. He wants to be here to take care of things around the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking out the trash) and taking care of me. I don't know what else I can do except deal with it. It is what it is. Other people have it worse than I do so I shouldn't be complaining. I'm going to make the best of it and do the best I can.
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PLEASE have a in hospital meeting ASAP with the social worker and discharge planner or case manager, you, and your husband.
He is NOT going to be able to do those things he wants to.
You are NOT going to be able to meet his wound care needs.

Other people's situations don't matter at all. You're not making the best of it; his denial of reality is making it the worst possible discharge plan.
 
Hubby just called and said he's being released this afternoon. I have to go pick him up. He plans to go back to work on Monday. He said the wounds in his groin don't hurts as much so he thinks he'll be able to sit on the donut pillow. He said the dr gave him no restrictions and said he would feel fine but if he gets tired to "listen to your body." Yeah, like that will happen. Anyway, I can't force him to go to a facility. He's a grown man and this is his home. If he wants to be here then I can't stop him.

I've had a lot of sleep this week while he's been gone and I feel pretty good. I just went and picked up an online grocery order so we have everything we need for a week or two.

I appreciate everyone's advice and care here. I know the situation is not ideal but it is what it is. As we get older, I'm sure there will be other times where we have to take care of each other. It's the price you pay when you live in the boonies and have no family. Not only that but even if we did have someone nearby, I wouldn't want them touching his crotch every day. It's one thing when it's a nurse or a stranger but not someone you know and see on a regular basis. That would be just too weird for me. I'm keeping the hospital bed rental for another month so that we can keep raising it up high so I can reach and not bend so much. If we didn't have this hospital bed I don't know how I would have done it.

I haven't done my PT exercises yet today so I should get busy.
 
barbloki said:
he refuses to go stay in a rehab facility. He wants to be here to take care of things around the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking out the trash) and taking care of me.
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Hopefully you feel supported by your spouse when it comes to your physical and mental wellbeing.
It's great you're feeling re-energized after having a couple days to yourself, Barbara, since hubby's unwillingness to spend time in a rehab facility puts the entire burden of his care on you. As an outsider looking in it seems like you're carrying a lot on your own. It doesn't always feel like you're getting the support you deserve. I hope I'm wrong.

You're right, hubs is a grown man and you do share a home, so if you feel you have the strength and stamina to be his nursemaid, housekeeper, cook, launderer, chauffeur and handle wound care 24/7 then he should be well taken care of. I can understand as his spouse being his caregiver IF you weren't recovering from major surgery, but that's not the case. I hope changing the dressing doesn't continue to cause pain in your hip.

I'm sure none of us were suggesting a friend or neighbor volunteer to be involved in the care of his wound and dressing changes. It's understandable that neither of you'd be comfortable with that.

Wishing you the best. I hope this weekend is a peaceful one for both of you.
 
Layla said:
nursemaid, housekeeper, cook, launderer, chauffeur and handle wound care 24/7
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Luckily hubby is no longer out of breath or getting exhausted from walking to the bathroom, aka, no more blood clots. That's what was causing all the problems. He did the dishes last night and is changing beds and doing laundry now. He's going to vacuum the house today and tomorrow he's going to cook the turkey that's been in the fridge thawing since Monday. We'll have our Thanksgiving meal 3 days late. He's going back to work on Monday and he's going to drive himself to the doctor on Tuesday. The only thing I still have to do (hopefully only once or twice per day) is change the wound dressing.
We went to bed at 7pm last night and we both slept great. I woke up at 2am and he woke up at 3am. My hip feels good right now except for that one spot at the top of my incision that had the scab where I guess I pulled one of the staples. I have no pain and no swelling. I've been off the Advil/Tylenol for over a week now and my stomach is happy about that.
I know it sounds silly but I am very happy to have had my toenails cut last night. They were really bugging me, getting snagged on the blanket because they were too long. Hubby was a little nervous that he would cut too short but he did a good job.
I need to do my PT exercises today. I skipped yesterday. One is standing at the kitchen counter and rocking back and forth, shifting my weight. Another is mini squats over a chair stacked with pillows on it and a ball between my knees to make it easier on my knees. And finally I step up and down on a 4 inch step. I use my front door stoop for that. Since it's 23 degrees outside right now I'll wait until later to do that one. My goal is to be able to go up and down the stairs. I can't get up there right now unless I do the "up with the good, down with the bad" thing.
I'm feeling really good today.
 
Well sounds like you both have everything you need and are both handling the challenge. I wish you well.
 
Great news!
Thankfully you're getting some relief from handling it all. This should allow you to concentrate on your own recovery at almost seven weeks post op. The situation is looking brighter. Have a nice weekend!
@barbloki
 
Anyone else have arm pain from using the cane? My arm right above my elbow hurts. It makes me not want to use the cane but without it I limp. Also, I slept on my right side with a pillow between my legs last night and woke up with right hip pain. <sigh> Now both sides ache.

Still having sleep issues. I woke up at 1am, wide awake. I wonder if I stop napping during the day if I will sleep better at night or if this is my new normal for now.

I'm excited to be having our Thanksgiving meal today. Hubby is preparing the whole thing, like always. I can honestly say I've never cooked a turkey in my whole life. I wouldn't be able to bend over to the oven to put it in and take it out anyway.

We only had to change his wound dressing twice yesterday so that was nice. Not a lot of bending for me. And actually, the bending doesn't hurt so much now. I messaged my surgeon the other day about when can I start bending over to pick things up from the floor and he said I can start doing the wide stance and the golfer's bend. I've dropped the cane a few times recently and was able to pick it up myself. I'm making small progress.

My incision still hurts a little in the one spot at the top. Hopefully that will get better soon. I wonder when I will be able to sleep on that side? That's the side I always sleep on (left side). Maybe that's why I can't sleep well.

I hope everyone has a nice relaxing Sunday.
 
Good Morning!
Many experience pain from using a cane. You may feel it in your wrist, shoulders or throughout your arm.
Make sure your cane is the proper height. When the cane is at your side the handle should reach the crease in your wrist, if it doesn't, adjust accordingly. Make sure you're holding it with the opposite hand from your healing hip. You can purchase cushioned handles if you don't already have one and it may help. You can ice the sore areas of your arm, just as you iced your hip. You do need to continue using the cane until you're no longer limping.

Sleep issues are also common in recovery. It's often because you're lying still for a long period period of time then feel stiffness and pain when waking. It's also often difficult to get comfortable and to give up familiar and favored sleep positions early on. You can try avoiding naps during the day and see if it helps, or if you do take one, make it short, set a phone alarm if you need to. See if it helps. I'll leave an article below on side sleeping.

mendogal and I left some tips for sleep earlier in your thread under posts 69 and 71. Check the info out and see if there's anything you haven't tried.

If your incision is still bothering you, you really should check in with your OS's office tomorrow and see what they say. They may want to schedule an office visit to confirm whether it looks okay, or request that you share a photo with them. I don't think you should ignore it. Better safe than sorry.

Happy Sunday!
@barbloki
 
It's been a great week. I haven't felt this good since the surgery (7 weeks 3 days now). I actually surprised myself and was able to stand up from a chair without using the arms. I guess the mini-squats the PT has me doing are helping to strengthen my butt muscles. I can only do about 5 full sit-to-stand and then my thighs and knees start burning. This week he assigned me 2 minutes of side stepping at the kitchen counter. Phew, I'm getting my exercise steps this week. I'm still needing the cane for my heel toe walking. As soon as I try to put down the cane I start limping. I'm not there yet but I'm working on it. I was able to go upstairs with the help of the cane so that's progress too. Before I wasn't able to lift that left leg high enough to get up the step. I can't put all my weight on it but the cane takes the extra pressure off.

Hubby went back to work on Monday and has worked a full week. He's back to mostly normal stuff around the house, doing laundry, taking care of the dishwasher since I still can't bend that way, taking out the trash, and putting daily lotion on my extremely dry feet :). The doctor said the medication he's on does not require any check-in's for blood work (it's called Eliquis). He goes back in January and they said he would probably go off the medication. We learned a lesson from all this. If you have surgery, you need to have those things put on your legs that massage and squeeze them to prevent blood clots and you probably should take a daily baby aspirin, or two, once you get home until recovered. My hip surgeon had those things on my legs as soon as I got to my room and I was instructed many times to do ankle pumps constantly when I got home and to get up and walk every hour when awake and take baby aspirin AM and PM for 8 weeks. I don't understand why hubby wasn't give those same instructions. He must have had the blood clots before we even left the hospital because that first night home he was panting and out of breath. I just assumed he was anxious about having a 2nd wound to deal with. Two surgeries in two weeks was too much. Oh well. Live and learn.
I bought some Vitamin E oil to put on my scar now that it's healed up good. I'm hoping it will help with the one area that has a bit of a raised edge. I see my surgeon on Thursday the 11th for follow up and xray. I expect a good report.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
 
Glad to hear both of you are improving since your husband getting his problems taken care of, and you finally being able to focus on your healing.
Keep up the good work, you will get there as you heal.
 
Finally good progress!!! So heartening!
 
You're doing well...making steady progress. That's great news! Best Wishes for the appointment with your OS next Thursday. Happy Weekend!
@barbloki
 
Eliquis is a good medication. I’m glad that’s what was prescribed for your husband. It sounds like he’s doing very well. I know this is a big relief for you.

And you are doing great also! This is so good to hear.
 
I saw my surgeon yesterday for 8 week followup and x-rays. He said everything is looking good and I'm off restrictions BUT he said not to do things that hurts. He said I can start stretching so that eventually I can reach my left foot to cut my toenails. I can now bend past 90 degrees. His only caution was if it starts to hurt... stop. He said to let pain be my guide. He reminded me that I'm still healing and he wasn't concerned about how far along I am with PT. He was more concerned with what PT is having me do when I told him that the PT had me lay on my back and forced my knee back towards my chest and it hurt. He told me not to do that again.

I so wish I could go to the PT facility that is affiliated with my surgeon's office. Those PT people are more experienced at posterior hip replacements because that's the only type my surgeon does. I went there after my right hip replacement and they were great. They personally know my surgeon and they know what exercises to have me do. Unfortunately, I have moved 1 hour away since that surgery and I don't want to make that trip twice per week, especially in the beginning of recovery when sitting in the car was so painful. So I'm going to a place that is closer to my new home and the therapists there only deal with surgeons who do the anterior approach. I'm guessing that the recovery is different and the exercises are different since the butt muscles are not affected.

I see my surgeon again in 4 weeks and I hope to be off the cane by then (12 weeks post-op). If I'm not off the cane, I may ask him to refer me to the other PT facility and make the 1 hour drive for a few weeks. I definitely don't want to walk with a limp for the rest of my life.

The other thing we discussed is why my right thigh is still numb since the surgery. He said it could be from when they gave me the spinal shot in my L2/L3 area. They may have hit the nerve. He said to give it 6 months to heal. Huh, never heard of that before. I sure hope it heals because it's very strange to have a numb thigh. Sometimes it tingles and sometimes it feels like an electric shock.

But overall I'm doing well. I didn't even get depressed this time around. Last hip replacement was brutal. I fell into a deep dark depression and I was afraid that would happen again. I'm glad it didn't. My life circumstances are different this time so I think that has a lot to do with it. I should go back and read what I wrote in this group and see if I mentioned any of it.

I'm looking forward to being able to do my Walk At Home videos with Leslie Sansone. I've gained some weight since the surgery due to lack of exercise. Once this hospital bed is gone from my room I will have space to start exercising. The bed goes back to the rental company on January 5.

Hope everyone is doing well.
 
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