THR On the other side of surgery

[Jamie]

Definitely take your pills. Even having a low level of pain can greatly impact your mood and will interfere with any attempt at sleep. And eat a little something as well. Then lie down and try for a nap. I always find comfort with a little heat to cozy my body up for sleep. You might try an heating pad over your tummy for that warmth and comfort.

 

[Layla]

Barbara,
Forty minutes away is not that far to drive. Understandably it is for you right now, but that is a normal commute time to work for some people. Many church goers thrive on the type of service you could benefit from. Visiting the sick, or those in need. Giving, encouraging, caring, acting in compassion. Don't sell your former church members short. Send out an SOS either through a phone call to the pastor, or if you know someone, please reach out. There may be many that would sign up for a meal delivery, come and clean or just offer a listening ear through a visit. Don't assume they won't be interested or they'll think it's too far, until you hear that.
I am sure it sounds overwhelming and its easy to retreat to bed when you're feeling confused or conflicted. I think you should make a list and slowly check items off one by one so you feel you have a measure of control over all of this.

Just an example.
1) Find resources to help you locate care for hubby

2) Reach out to your old church and even a local church. Call directly, talk to a pastor, explain your current situation and ask if there are church members that may be able to help on a temporary basis. Let the leadership reach out to church members and get back to you.

3) If you don't hear back, order groceries online and drive to pick them up if they don't deliver so you have food in your home that sounds appealing other than meatloaf for a week. You need your strength for energy for healing.

4) Find a local cleaning service to come one time and you will feel better about your surroundings which will give you peace. If what they charge is reasonable and they do a good job, have them come again in a couple of weeks.

Don't let paralysis set in (doing nothing but ruminating over present circumstances) which can happen easily when we're overwhelmed. Work toward obtaining the peace of mind you need while healing. Use this time to take care of YOU. Give yourself the TLC you need and deserve.

Check in with us multiple times daily if you need to, we'll be here for you.
@barbloki

 

[barbloki]

able to get some much needed rest last night

I got an hour here and an hour there of sleep. Woke up at 1am and had diarrhea in the bed so had to get up, strip the bed, and throw it all in the laundry. I tried sleeping in the recliner but that didn't work so I made coffee and sat at my computer for a while. Once the mattress pad was dry I remade the bed and got a couple hours of sleep. I think I got about a 1/2 hour nap today when the phone rang and woke me up. I'm exhausted and going to lay down again and try to sleep. Hopefully the phone won't ring or I won't have to get up to pee.

 

[Layla]

Good to read you got some sleep. I hope your digestive issue was just a "one off" and you're feeling better today. That had to be unexpected as well as the need to do laundry in the middle of the night. You're certainly having your patience tested, Barbara. You need a break. Sleep well!
@barbloki

 

[myglasshalffull]

My gosh, just so many challenges. My grand daughter had blood clots in her lungs just prior to her graduation 2 years ago. We almost lost her so these embolisms are nothing to fool around with.
She was transferred to a hospital after collapsing at school and in placed ICU. She had two ports inserted down into her lungs to deliver heparin to break up the clots.
I’ll check back in with you later today. I’m home all day.

 

[barbloki]

I slept for almost 7 straight hours. WOW! First time since my surgery 6 weeks ago.

It's Thanksgiving and I can't say it's a "happy" one but I'm thankful for this group and many other things.

The hospital decided to postpone hubby's surgery until today so I'm on pins and needles right now. I feel like I should get up and clean the whole house or just do something physical. I can't just sit here. Hubby just called and told me they are taking him now. They are going a tube in both sides of his neck and feed the tube into his lungs which will stay there for 6-12 hours, depending on how long to dissolve the clots. I feel so bad for him. He's never been sick in his life. Never been in the hospital. Now he's been in the hospital 3 times in 3 weeks. 2 groin surgeries and now this. They say bad things happen in 3's. I guess we are done after this.

I really need to figure out what to do today. I'm not used to being alone.

 

[myglasshalffull]

I’m going to watch the Macy’s day parade, then the dog show, then football. That’s my day. I’ll check in with you now & then.
The procedure they will be doing to your husband is what my granddaughter had done. Then she was on Eliquis for several months. The crazy part of her developing these clots were never expected cause she eats so healthy & goes to the gym all the time.

 

[barbloki]

Thank you for the good ideas for keeping busy today. I love the Macy's parade and usually watch it every year but I forgot about it today. My brain isn't working well. I also usually watch the dog "football" on animal planet. So cute. I don't think I will watch football without hubby but I plan to watch the half time that Ericka Kirk is having. I enjoy the music of those artists. I would have forgotten that it was today if you hadn't mentioned those shows so thank you.

I really believe my husband's clots were due to negligence of the hospital. They did surgery and didn't put the massage things on his legs nor prescribe even baby aspirin at home or getting up and walking. So he came home and stayed in the recliner basically 24/7 except to pee and get his dressing changed. When he comes home I will be making him get up every hour. I'll set a timer on the phone that goes off and annoys him until he gets up. lol

 

[Layla]

That's some awesome sleep. Good for you!

I like, myglasshalffull's, idea above about watching the Macy's parade. Later on today you could watch some holiday movies on Hallmark or Great American Family channel, if you have those. It will get you in the holiday spirit for when both you and hubby will be feeling stronger a month from now at Christmas time.

There is also some entertainment here on BoneSmart in the Social Area. some threads you may find interesting to read through, or add to. Here is a link - https://bonesmart.org/forum/view/social-room.11/

Thanksgiving is what you make of it. You can make it a day of gratitude, reminding yourself of the blessings you do have. It may feel difficult to count those now, but they're there. It's just a regular Thursday for our Canadian and UK friends, so you're not alone. Please do not get overly ambitious in your boredom and clean your entire house. You'll end up paying for it later on. Take another day of rest and relaxation, along with some easy chores or exercises. Try to build on that sleep when you're able, our body does it's best healing while we sleep.
@barbloki

 

[Layla]

I plan to watch the half time that Ericka Kirk is having. I enjoy the music of those artists. I would have forgotten that it was today

Are you meaning the Super Bowl in February?

 

[barbloki]

Are you meaning the Super Bowl in February?

Oops. Yes, I was talking about the super bowl. I guess I got that mixed up with the Thanksgiving football. You can tell I'm not a sports fan. But I am going to watch the parade and the dog show. That will keep my mind busy.

 

[Hip4life]

@barbloki Give yourself permission for it all: taking it easy for some TLC, looking past what “needs” to be done around the house, saying no to a long drive to the hospital (that’s what phones are for,) saying a big NO to having to do intensive rehab care for your husband when he’s discharged. You do NOT have to sacrifice yourself in service to others. As with your last THR: your body WILL reach its limit and make you take care of it: another heart attack, a stroke or whatever it takes. Then how much good will you be to anyone?

Like @mendogal I also have 40+ years of acute health care and rehab experience. Time after time, I saw the caregiver, already dealing with their own issues, getting sick and being hospitalized because it all was too much. As a wise woman once told me, “No” is a complete sentence. It’s okay to put yourself first, even if it’s only occasionally. This is certainly the occasion! YOU saying no, not your husband, puts a whole different set of planning in motion. It would be the same as if he had no one at home. There is no other option except rehab by you advocating for yourself and saying you can’t do it. You even have the best, legitimate excuse: you are recovering yourself! Blessings and lots of hugs to you on this day for thanksgiving.

 

[myglasshalffull]

just finished watching the parade! I love Santa! I’ve been watching a bunch of sappy Christmas movies too! I could probably write the script but still love them.
Hope you can get more relaxation in today. I know you are very concerned about your husband and that’s very normal! But give yourself a little grace. Order food to be delivered. I’m a big fan of door dash! Treat yourself today!

 

[myglasshalffull]

I’ll be back to check on you later and see how your day is going!

 

[Pumpkin]

@barbloki
Thinking of you and your husband today, please let us know how he is doing.
We are recording the Thanksgiving Parade to watch later, when we have our salmon lunch with all the fixings that go with salmon. Tomorrow we will have turkey with the family.

Hope you can relax today, and your husband's surgery is uneventful.

 

[barbloki]

more relaxation in today.

I laid down at 12:30 and woke up at 2pm, only because I had to pee. It was a good nap. I have the TV off today. I'm just not in the mood for watching anything. As for doordash, I doubt any of them deliver out here in the country but even if they did, I have no real desire to eat. I made myself pancakes for a late breakfast so I'm still full. I'm just chilling this afternoon. I think I'll take another nap.

 

[barbloki]

Hubby called and said the surgery went well. They put a catheter on each side of his neck going down into his lungs and medicine is going in there to dissolve the blood clots. He has to lay there for 6-12 hours and they will check to see if the clots are gone. He wasn't sure how they check. Maybe a CT scan or something. He was planning to watch football this afternoon and knowing him, he'll be watching through his eyelids. lol

I think I'll take a picture of my hip scar to post. I haven't taken one since Nov 21st.

 

[Jamie]

Good news about your husband’s procedure. It sounds like he’s in a hospital that knows exactly what to do in these cases. And good for you for listening to your body. It’s going to take a while for your body to get well rested again, so any napping you can do will be wonderful for you. I agree, though, that feeling better shouldn’t translate into a major cleaning project. That would probably do more harm than good. It sounds wonderful to hear a positive tone to your posts. Good rest can help put things back into a proper perspective and should improve your mental as well as physical strength. We’re here if you need to chat a bit…..

 

[mendogal]

Just checking in and sending you a hug!!!!

 

[barbloki]

Thanks @mendogal

I've had a good day. I napped from 12:30 to 2:00. Got up for a while, then napped from 3:00 to 5:20.

I just spoke with my husband and he said they just took the catheters out of his neck and he's getting ready to have his first meal of the day. He said he feels good so that's a plus. If he's back to normal and can start doing stuff around the house and waiting on himself instead of me doing every single thing then I think it will be fine for him to come home. All I'll have to do is change his dressing and take care of myself. I think I can handle that. He can do the cooking and cleaning and laundry and get his own food and water like he was doing the first 3 weeks after my surgery. Plus he was still working full time.

I guess I'll have meatloaf again for supper. That's 3 days in a row.