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Bilateral THR Oh 'dreams' exactly as visioned

Well, I can well imagine, @mikeycat, that you are really hoping 2019 will come to a close, with all needed surgery done and, finally, perhaps, a better year ahead. Here's to 2020 and some healing and an end to pain. You have really been through the ringer. I hope the second hand surgery on the 18th goes well, and you'll be able to feel some real relief in that hand shortly. As with hips, you only have two hands so this should be the FINAL surgery. Hang in there--you are such a courageous lady, dealing with all these complications with as much fortitude and grace as possible. I am in awe! Hope this midweek day goes well for you.
 
Thank you Barbaraj. I wish it were only me but my son is having issues. It breaks my heart but anyway thank gawd he has decided to return here for his last year at the university. He has 6 courses and really tough tough stuff and of course he wants A's. I told him to reduce the load but he wants to graduate with his peers. He switched programmes and as such had to take more courses. He wasn't able to take the 4 he usually does in the summer because it was at another university and preference was given to them.He is under enormous stress.

I have got word that I was given priority for an arthritic programme at the university around here and yippee I dont have to pay but I have to get clearance from my OS which is no biggy.
Saw my family doc who thinks I have PTSD from all the trauma of pain--ha.She doesn't know the half of it.She is extremely helpful and compassionate.I walked and went up countless stairs to the metro here to get to my doc's office. I was out over 5 hours busing and riding the subway. Well I was bushed and slept for 2 hours when I arrived home at 4. This am I am happy to report not stiff but rested so a small gain wouldn't you think? I can't rid myself of this teariness and sadness though. This isn't me and hasn't been me for over 14 weeks since surgery--really struggling.
 
@mikeycat It's hardly surprising that you are struggling - you have had so much to contend with, so many setbacks. I really hope that you can get back on an even keel soon.
 
Oh, @mikeycat, it must be so hard dealing with not only your own physical pain and the stress from that, but now dealing with your son's struggles as well. Our youngest son struggled in college, too, and he was on the east coast and it made things much harder. He also at one point was considering a return home to finish school but, in the end, decided to stay in Florida. He ended up taking longer to finish his degree but, in the end, for him it was the right decision. But I remember those days of trying to counsel and support him from 3000+ miles away, and it was very, very difficult. You have my sympathy for sure. I hope once he's back in school he'll recover and do really well his final year. I think your tears and feeling of sadness are very understandable. I think until this second hand surgery is done, you'll continue to struggle. But, maybe after that if you're still feeling depressed (and PSTD from all that pain sounds reasonable, unfortunately) you could consider some form of counseling to help you deal with these feelings. And it's great that you are going to be able to access that arthritis program for free! Whooppee! Free is good, and let's hope it's a top notch program which will bring significant relief going forward. Hang in there, it's been a long road for you but you are, I absolutely believe, going to get better and things will be looking up.
 
Thanks Barbaraj. My son is still in school. He wont leave school. It is his raison d'etre. He is a true academic.He had scholarships in various places all the top schools in Canada and even Kansas.He was accepted at Harvard and Princeton but no undergrad foreign scholarship. His issues never deter his studies--he is actually accelerated in his studies in spite of changing programmes one must do the core courses in that programme which is why he did 4 every summer save the last. He will finish with his peers. School is McGill University just 20 minutes away from home. He lived downtown near campus but is back home. But he maintained the math course which only 20 were accepted to. But the demands on achieving in today's world and especially the schools he went to is enormous.We try to reduce his stress but he says school is what he is.But he wants to work after graduating and get his masters, phd later.For school he has immense focus.

I have to get a medical clearance form from my OS for this programme so I am sending it to his nurse who is in contact with me.My doc also suggested someone for anxiety--she believes it is due to all this surgery and pain and former awful stuff re physical pain years ago.
I appreciate all the people here and I believe I am blessed for it.
 
Thank you linette333. I hardly recognize myself--not this happy-go-lucky sort anymore since the last 4 months--well a true test of me and I am failing abysmally.
 
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time of it @mikeycat
It seems you're recovering well from your BTHR, but dealing with additional issues and spinning your wheels in a sense. Hopefully your doctor will suggest a mental health professional who can help you process through all you're struggling with lately. It must be difficult to enjoy the progress you're making when you're constantly running into road blocks. Possibly anti anxiety or anti depressants could be used as a bridge to get you from where you are, to where you want to be. It may help. It's dicfficult to see you continually struggling. Hopefully things begin falling into place soon. :console2:
 
@mikeycat I am catching up and see where you had one heck of a travel day and you weren't in too bad of shape afterward? That is wonderful!
I wish I could send some healthy good energy over to you..but know I am going to try! And you can't duck and avoid it.. please don't be so hard on yourself and think you should be happy go lucky. You have been through a heck of a year.
I've noticed several of your posts on other's threads and you are so friendly and supportive of them. You still help people even while you are struggling and in that regard, I think you have super powers!
You shall over come this and I think it will be sooner than later. Praying that I am right!! ((hugs))
 
How are you doing CricketHips? You too have had recent surgery and still find the time to moderate and support in spite of your own issues. That is amazing and magnanimous of you as well.
At least I have read several books which makes me not feel so useless. I do make dinners and shop at the corner and do laundry and beds and sweep but I would like to feel purposeful. I have volunteered for most of my life and was considering doing volunteer work at the super hospital here or an education center that would entail leading seniors in discussion but I have no energy and still have pain in my hands, arms etc. I get excited than my energy wanes like a fallen flower. Hubby says to focus on myself for the next year. He must be kidding.
 
mikeycat said:
I have residual time left and can use it for anything ,massage therapy included
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Sounds great! I wish UK PTS were more hands on. It seems to be not the same here as I experienced in the States. Nice but not too touchy feely. Go for it!
 
mikeycat said:
Hubby says to focus on myself for the next year
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He sounds fantastic. Remember on planes they say put your own oxygen mask on before your children's. Its true. You have to take care of yourself so you can have the strength to take care of others. Lovely of you to think of others when you are still struggling yourself. :thumb:
 
@mikeycat It's okay to be depressed at points in our life. We never know when it can strike, but sometimes it does. Don't be hard on yourself. In time, I think you will feel better and the depression will lift after healing begins. And it can run its course, it can take time to feel better.
You sure must be so proud of your son....
 
Good morning! I’m doing well @mainegirl1
I’ve found that the mornings are the hardest.
It will be so nice when the morning stiffness is completely gone, it improves weekly so it shouldn't last much longer.
Being productive vs. resting? :good-bad:
I’ve made the choice to rest! I knew early on that this hip was going to be a bit more difficult and acted accordingly.
Thank you for your kind words, I’ll update my thread over the weekend, just for you!
 
Wow, @mikeycat, I think your husband's advice to take this coming year for yourself is SPOT ON! You say you are interested in volunteering to help others, just turn that around a bit and focus on helping yourself. You absolutely deserve it, given the incredibly tough and debilitating year you've had. It isn't selfish to care for yourself, it's actually pretty smart--if you don't take care of yourself, you won't have the energy or focus to care for anyone else. Read, garden, mediate, whatever it takes to allow yourself to rest and recharge. With your son returning to the area (and he sounds amazing--nice work, mom and dad!) he'll probably need some support from you and as he's now closer, you'll be in a position to offer that more readily and easily. Ease up on yourself, you are doing remarkably well all things considered and I agree with @CricketHip that despite feeling depressed and low yourself, you've been able to post on others' threads with supportive, friendly messages--that is a form of "volunteering" which is much appreciated by the lucky recipients (including me). As always, hang in there--deep breath, chin up, smile and "fake it till you make it". And have a good Saturday.
 
mikeycat said:
I do make dinners and shop at the corner and do laundry and beds and sweep but I would like to feel purposeful
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Please don't minimize your contributions. The activities you mentioned serve a purpose. Shopping for groceries, preparing meals, cleaning up afterward, doing laundry, tidying the house are all useful, and worthwhile contributions to you and hubs life. It may be boring and feel unfulfilling but you very recently experienced major surgery in the form of bilateral hip replacement and may need to temporarily lower expectations for yourself.

I'm quite sure, unless you're superhuman, that your energy stores are still depleted. This all takes time @mikeycat and while boring and frustrating at times, there's no hurrying this process. In addition to this, your carpal tunnel issues, bites / infections have been a huge drain on you mentally and physically. You still need extra quiet time and rest.

Consider scheduling a few counseling sessions, in addition, carve out time for yourself doing things that bring you joy and recognizie that your contributions in life are beneficial. This will all go a long way in bringing you peace of mind. You can do this, mikeycat, I know you can and we'll be here to support and encourage you until you feel you're on more of an even keel.

Sending a warm hug and best wishes for brighter days ahead. :loveshwr: :friends:
 
Hi @mikeycat
I have had 2 clinical depressions in my life. Had a severe back injury @ 26 and the getting better wore on and the resulting mental state frightened the heck out of me, I was just a kid, really, but by Gods providence found help, both for the physical and mental.
At 50 I was going thru menopause and developed Menieres disease, a hearing and balance disorder, that had as its symptoms terrible tinnitus, vertigo without warning, and hearing loss in the affected ear. This time when I began to not eat, not sleep and be not my usual cheery self, I knew what was up, got both counseling and medication and began to be ok.
My hips are bilaterally done but staged as you see by my signature. The past few days have been difficult for me, my mental state has been not optimal, but I will do what I need to to get better. Forewarned is forearmed!
For me as a nurse and a Christian, I feel body mind and spirit are one. This state I am in is familiar, and no fun, but I can manage it.
You dont need a purpose, Mikeycat, you are beloved child of God, and that is enough. But as for the purpose stuff you'll get there. You have had such things happen to your body, it has been hard on all of you if that makes sense. I feel like a lot of my days I'm not doing what I could/should be doing either. But you and I had trauma that we need to heal from so we can be the healthy peace-filled people we're meant to be!!!! Will keep you in my prayers every day.
 
@mikeycat you are doing way more than the average person would given all of the things/surgeries you've been dealing with! You are way stronger and way more helpful than you give yourself credit for. You've always been a great cheerleader and in my corner from day one and now add to that everyone else on here that you've supported. Oh, and you do all the stuff you do around the home, caring for your hubby and son!

Useless, NO, tired, YES! :friends:
 
@Calgal, Cecropia, Elf1, Barbarj, LAYLA, CricketHips, ahipgma, ceezee Thank you everyone for your kind words. It has made an immeasurable difference. I sympathize/empathize with all who have had many issues, surgeries and all kinds of foreseen and unforeseen events. Life is truly traumatizing,it is also truly amazing as well. I have seen many things in my life as have all of you. It is the unconditional support and encouragement here that have truly made a difference in our lives.There are many people far worse off than I and I am well aware and my hat is off to them I surely do admire the strength and courage it takes to weather such hardships.I truly don't know where they get the guts. I like to know what I am dealing with so I can prepare for the onslaught. I find when I deal with my own issues without outside interference I fair better. Unfortunately I had to allow others to intervene and I find I am left with the coping part which was caused by 'them'.I really don't know when the dust will settle and it is perhaps the unknowing which is responsible for the undoing.
 
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