No surgery for me

[anny]

Sometimes it’s hard to remain positive but you don’t always get a choice in life and life isn’t always fair..

Gidget you are one of the most positive people I know.......you're right, life isn't always fair but you respond to each knockdown with some humour and search for the silver lining......I think you would be justified in having a good old paddy, myself! I'm so sorry they aren't holding out some hope for you to walk again, but I think you will still be feisty Gidget even in a wheelchair

It's lovely that your friend has taken a shine to little Lily (think she'd look very swish with that hairstyle, just the thing to show off her eyes. How about you getting a colour job to match her?). Will you and your friend do a 'Lily-share'.....you do the cuddling while she does the hard yards? Such a weight off your mind to know that there's always someone at hand, whom she knows, who can care for her when you can't. We're such softies over our animals, worry more about them than we do ourselves

@Hippielife Gracie is just gorgeous, what a beautiful coat she has, she has a very dedicated mum to keep it like that! I'm afraid my boys have a lazy mum, I take them to the groomer's for the skinhead look every 3 months.....kid myself it's to make them feel more comfortable but it's really cos I don't want us drowning in Charlie's hairloss!

Hope the chest xray went ok Gidget, and that tomorrow is a better day....you're surely due one!

 

[Gidget]

I’ve just had my heart echo. Rehab Doc coming back this afternoon (don’t know why), discharge co ordinator has been with phone numbers etc for subsidised house cleaning and maintainance services since I’m now officially a decrepit invalid who can’t possibly be independent. Ugh...too much. I like my space, my privacy, my dignity, my independence....I should be grateful and I am being as nice as I can BUT.....I wish they would butt out. The one thing I want help with is getting a new wheelchair and I have no idea where that is in the machinations of Government. The OT has been great but Gov Depts....roll eyes.

My physician says I can go home tomorrow and he will arrange any urgent heart tests/treatments as an outpatient. My foot is still very swollen 11 days after the injury but as I’m not permitted to walk, it’s not a problem. It would be nice to be able to wear a shoe sometime though.

Trying to book little dog in for haircut on Friday.

 

[anny]

Hey Gidget - don't totally rule out a bit of home help....gives you more time to zoom round in that new wheelchair (when you get it....officialdom hasn't heard the words 'reasonable time'!) and if you SHOULD one day need it cos you were sick, it might be harder to re-instate it....they certainly make you jump thro hoops to get it here

Yay for going home.....you'll feel more comfortable and settled in your own surroundings. And a photo of Lily please with her new coiffure

 

[Gidget]

Just booked Lily in for Monday for a new do. Good luck to the groomers...she’s a wriggly little thing. I have agreed to home help for cleaning. Community care says it’ll take about 3 weeks to organise.

I have a portacath (implanted port in my chest with catheter to the heart for delivering transfusions, drugs etc). It has a needle in it at the moment which needs to be removed before I go home. The nurse was going to do it this afternoon but they just had shift handover and I heard her say that my Doc wants it left in until tomorrow. Can’t help wondering why. I hope it has nothing to do with the heart echo I had this morning. If I don’t go home in the morning you’ll hear me scream from across the ditch.

I’ve even done an online grocery order to be delivered to my home for the morning...won’t be happy if I don’t get to have my favourite ice cream tomorrow night (calippo).

Looking forward to seeing my two cats too. My old cat, Betty, is the most gentle loving girl who loves nothing more than to sit on my lap for hours. Boots, on the other hand has a quick snog and then stares at the food bowl as if to say...feed me NOW.

I feel a bit of a fraud being on this forum as it looks like I’ll never get hip surgery (unless I break my hip). I’ve already come to like people on here. I will miss the interaction if i have to leave.

Good luck with your surgery. Not long now.

 

[anny]

Hope it all goes well tomorrow Gidget......it's very windy here at the moment, I won't hear you scream so post and let us know you're home safely. I'm sure no-one would mind you staying on the forum, you could be an honorary hippie and you've made lots of friends on here

My Charlie goes to the groomers in about a week, so that he's not dropping hair everywhere while I'm in hospital....he is a big baby, frightened of the hair dryer, so I have to take him in the day before to be bathed, then take him home to air-dry (and make sure he stays super clean) and schlep him back the next day for the hairdo....good job I love him!! He's the one who sneaks out of his bed after lights out to lie by the side of my bed and trip me up in the middle of the night.....he's also the one who unfailingly follows me upstairs to the loo, and sometimes sticks his head round the door in case there's a secret exit in there....such a needy boy Joey (in my avatar) on the other hand is more chilled, but very kissy, and lurves the groomers (could it be all those liver treats they give him?) Honestly, dogs certainly bring out the gooeyiest bits of you don't they! And I'm warming to cats too....I look after my daughter's 2 when she's in hospital, and it's quite sweet the way they recognise the provider of all things food, and meow a pitiful tale of abandonment and starvation

I hope everything goes to plan tomorrow morning, so that you can settle in with your Calippo.....nothing better than a bit (apart from a lot ) of icecream for comfort eating

 

[Mojo333]

So cool about the baby roo. And it would comes back? I would so love that.
Yes, I wouldn't went to dispatch animals in distress or otherwise.
I wanted to go to work with the parks system so I'm practicing my shooting also.. don't know if I'd be able to do it if it came up.
I'm guessing if something was suffering...?

 

[Hippielife]

Gidget... ..hello ...Good news you get to be reunited with all your cats and cutie pie Lily. Home sweet home...couldn’t resist the sayin it is so true. The hospital is the nosiest place, no sleep always someone doing there job checking on you especially when you just fall asleep, and all you can think about is when this stop is over and when you can go home....

It was so nice to see that picture of you outside with you friend. You looked so happy .
Keep posting and always be as strong as you are now!
Send a pic of your kitty?
{{{GENTLE HUGS}}}

 

[anny]

Hi @Gidget .....how are you? Did you escape? Hope you've had a lovely reunion with Betty, Boots and Lily.....let us know when you're settled in

 

[Gidget]

Thanks for thinking of me. I came home on Thursday. I’ve been sleeping a lot in between bouts of hip/knee/back pain. I can’t believe how stiff my joints have become so fast since I’ve stopped walking. I saw my GP today who told me to start getting mentally prepared to having to move to assisted accomodation. The very thing I dread. In the meantime he insists I take every home help service that is offered. I’ve been started on a chronic health management plan which entitles me to free private PT. I will accept this just to keep what little function I do have in my legs. As for the heart failure...I didn’t get the results of the echo before I left hospital so I don’t know how bad it is or if it’s treatable but I do trust my physician to let me know if it was anything that needed immediate treatment. I’m due back in hospital in 3 weeks so I’ll get my answers then.

My little girl Lily had her first full groom today and the groomer said she behaved well. I don’t really believe that but nice of them to say it anyway. My old cat, Betty, looked disgusted when she saw Lily but my other cats’ (Boots) reaction was priceless. Her eyes almost bulged out of their sockets and she went straight up to Lily and licked her all over, kind of like trying to comfort this very different looking dog.

In order. Lily, Betty, Boots.

 

[Mojo333]

Oh the animals are adorable. My Shihtzu is going for a summer cut this week. Can't keep up with his coat when it's long.
Plus he loves outdoors.
I thought when I got him, I would get a fru fru doggie...but he likes to roll in the dirt and wander into things like the pond.
I should've named him Swiffer like the dust mop...as he picks up all of outside and it's like baling hay sweeping up after him.
Glad you will get some at home PT.
I'm hoping heart thing is not too serious.
You are an inspiration to many with your determination.
It strikes me that one should always be mindful that even with tribulations, some such as you deal with so much more.
I met a girl Friday who is 21 and is going blind due to some genetic type of macular degeneration. I struck me I should so appreciate all the beautiful things I could SEE..
Hoping you have some comfort this week.
Love your furry pals!

 

[anny]

Hi Gidget....glad you are home with your furry friends now....your cats are so pretty, especially Betty, a redhead with green eyes.

Sorry things aren't working out so well for you in the longterm....you sound such an independent lady, I can understand you not wanting to be 'looked after'. What does assisted accommodation mean.....communal living, or separate flats with a warden on site? Can you push for more help in your own home so that you don't have to move? Maybe once you've got used to having some home help you'll find a way of letting it increase your freedom rather than make you more dependent, if you see what I mean (haven't been up long and still have brain fog )

I had to laugh at Boot's reaction to Lily's haircut....reminded me of my two dogs. For quite a few years, Joey was clipped but Charlie wasn't. When Joe came back, the transformation from shaggy rug to sleek dog-about-town was too much for Charlie, he thought he was a strange do, and I had to keep them apart fo a few hours till the penny dropped (Joe smelt very different too...the groomer favours a particularly girly shampoo!). Fortunately he's got the hang of it now, particularly as he occasionally goes for a haircut too. Hope you have a good day, looks as if it's going to be nice here (revving up for more rain tomorrow)

 

[Gidget]

Oh dear. Looks like we’re getting a cyclone here within the next two days. As if it hasn’t rained enough already. I’ll have to do airtasker to get someone to move the garden furniture into the garage and make sure everything is secure. My house is only a few years old and is rated for a Cat 5 cyclone so I’m not worried about that but the road leading to my road floods quickly and all traffic including bus services etc stop. So I’ll have to do an early online grocery shop and delivery. Can’t have my pets going hungry! My cats are cunning...I feed them a can of food each morning but then when my Aunt comes in they act like they haven’t been fed and she gives them another can of food. I’ve told my Aunt that they are taking her for a ride but she can’t resist their big pleading pussy cat eyes. They also have an unlimited supply of dry food and they snack constantly all day. I was having problems getting Lily to eat but we found out that she didn’t like her metal bowl. So I bought a lovely ceramic dish just like the ones the cats have and, voila, eating again. Spoilt Princess.

I’m not sleeping well. I don’t consciously think about my future but I just feel unsettled and no amount of lecturing myself is making a difference. I’ve always had the philosophy that a person who procrastinates is a person who stresses less. It’s always worked for me. By the time I’ve decided to tackle a problem it has tended to sort itself out already. I’m a bit OCD with housework etc so I’ll always stay on top of that it’s the subjective things I procrastinate about. I present a front to people and no one in my personal circle is aware of my deep concern about my future...I don’t mean my illness/es but the way I’ll have to adapt and change my goals, principles, wants etc. I’ve always valued my independence, dignity, privacy etc above all else. I’m a very proud person....I hate needing help let alone asking for it. This is my main worry. It invades my thoughts when I least expect it. It creeps up on me like a stalker. I use all the defences I’ve learnt and it’s still beating me. I feel it will defeat me. Even writing this and putting my thoughts into words is frightening me...it makes it more real.

I DO NOT want to do psychology therapy or talking therapy...I just want it to go away. I wish I liked alcohol or sedating drugs but I don’t, so no escape there. I keep getting offered narcotics, muscle relaxers (Valium), slleeping tablets, antispasmodic, nerve pain blockers and on and on.i won’t take them. Hate them. I have dystonic seizures, muscle spasms, twitching, hypertonicity of upper and lower limbs, contracture of my feet etc...still won’t take pills. I’m having Botox next month in my scalp for central vision loss and facial spasms but my neuro didn’t give me a choice about that.

Sorry to vent on here but it’s good for me because I will never meet any of you, everyone has been lovely and it feels safe.

I think I’ve found the word for how I feel and that I hate and it’s.....VULNERABLE. Totally alien to me.

 

[Mojo333]

Oh, Gidget.
We are always led to believe that, aren't we? Mind over matter...if we try hard enough..and Lord you have shown so much steel trying not to let all this beat you down.
Truth of the matter is there are some things we have no control over and bad things happen to good people.
Our bodies are our vehicles, and not our minds and souls...and I know you don't know what to digest and accept and what to fight.
I wouldn't either. I'm probably not being much comfort, but I wanted you to know I'm sorry for this being so hard on your spirit as well as your body...and I do care.
Wishing you some peace.

 

[BeBe]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Gidget}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Mojo posted a sweet comment above and all I can really add is that hug via internet.

For what it is worth I too have that independence thing and do not share much of
my physical woes with my friends. Or even my immediate family.
They know I am having surgery but not the worst of the past years to get to this point.
I just don't share it. Maybe have to change that up a bit.
It would be very alien to me to admit that vulnerability. Just like you.
I totally get the hating needing help but ask someone to help? I've not had to do that
before I've always been the helper.
I'm going to try to be more open with my friends. Maybe that is a better first step
before looking into psych therapy? If I run the friends off then that might tell me something!

Thankfully We have an outlet here on BS.
Love your pet pics so cute!

 

[Gidget]

Thanks mojo and BeBe. I’m mentally doing a bit better...I don’t know if it’s acceptance or denial...but whatever works right?

I received a copy of the letter the rehab Doc sent to my GP.

Just an excerpt or two.

I do not feel that Shirley is a suitable surgical candidate, and with her having minimal ambulation, the risks of hip surgery outweigh the benefits. Her medical history is quite singular and complex. She was anaemic during admission with a haemoglobin down to 78, and required a unit of blood to carry her over to her next transfusion appointment. I feel Shirley is only able to achieve generally stable health status with a dedicated plan of regular transfusions of both CuSO4 and packed red blood cells and she has poor neurological and global reserve for surgery.

I am absolutely convinced that the rehab Doc (who admitted phoning the OS and talking to him about me) talked the OS out of surgery. Maybe it was a fair call, I don’t know, however, I feel it was overstepping her role and boundaries to influence his decision.

Next excerpt.

Shirley really hoped to have progressed to more walking, but due to her generalised reduced tone compared to previous, she does not have adequate proximal leg strength needed for standing and walking safely. Also the ongoing issue of foot positioning with inversion and plantarflexion makes it very precarious for her to stand safely. We are not recommending walking as this will continue to pose a falls risk.

We would be happy to contact Shirley again in 9 months for a reassessment, however, the rehabilitation goals are limited.

Well, I’ll show her! Goals are limited! She’s never walked (pun intended) in my shoes. I’m a survivor. I’m an achiever. I’m a hard worker and begeezes....I’m bloody stubborn.

 

[Mojo333]

Well, I’ll show her! Goals are limited! She’s never walked (pun intended) in my shoes. I’m a survivor. I’m an achiever. I’m a hard worker and begeezes....I’m bloody stubborn.

I somehow knew that is what come from you. How unnerving to read that report about yourself.
I know they have to put down their facts as they know it succinctly, but their clinical observations seem so impersonal.
Well, you took it personal!
I'm with you stubborn Gidget...things can change. Strides are being made every day in the medical field...hopefully they can get your blood stuff right.

 

[Gidget]

I thought when I got him, I would get a fru fru doggie...but he likes to roll in the dirt and wander into things like the pond.

Yes, I thought I was getting a gentle, cuddly Princess...how wrong could I be...loves to pull water lilly’s out of the fish pond and roll in them.

Anny, my Lily smelt like roses after the groomer...for 10 minutes flat..oh well. Your time for surgery soon. I suppose you feel anticipation and dread at the same time. I’ll admit to a little jealousy but I’ve come to realise that having my hip fixed probably won’t help anything but it’d be nice to be without the pain anyway.

I have been accepted for private PT and was given an appointment for Friday afternoon but I received a phone call Friday lunch time to cancel the session. Apparently after reading my notes they decided that the PT who was going to treat me wasn’t senior enough and the new appointment is for Tuesday at 1pm. That’s going to be a big day. Drop Lily at the vet by 7am for spaying/dew claw removal/ baby teeth removal, then appointment for hair cut, then eye test for new glasses, then PT, then pick Lily up from the vets. Not to mention home nursing a dog recovering from surgery that night. As I don’t drive and Uber don’t take wheelchairs, I have to catch taxis between all these appointments...it’s not always easy to get wheelchair taxis when you need them. I’ll need a bit of luck to make all the appointments on time.

In the meantime I did a home hair dye and a general body tidy up (eyebrows, manicure etc) and it’s great how much better it makes you feel.

Got to go and rescue Lily from the Boots cat in a bad mood. Sigh...sister love!

 

[anny]

Wow Gidget....Tuesday is certainly going to be busy....you'll meet yourself coming back! My daughter is lucky and has a wheelchair van now so that she can drive herself (parking, of course, is another story ) but she had to use a wheelchair taxi for 2 or 3 years....she could only make one appt a day, and even then it was hit and miss as to whether she'd get home again, if she coincided with end of school time (they had regular bookings for the kids, and they had priority). Are you in an electric or a manual? we managed better when she was in a manual and could get ordinary taxis, cos the wheelchair would fold up into the boot. Sounds as if Lily is preparing to be a pampered patient, at least for a night or two....maybe Boots will work on her bedside manner....

 

[Gidget]

Unfortunately I have to use a power chair because I get neuro fatigue in my arms...of course, this also means I failed the test to be able to drive a hand control car. They said I wouldn’t be able to hold my arms on the steering wheel for more than 5 minutes before they lost tone. I have the same problem with wheelchair taxis. If it’s school in or out, you can’t get a taxi because they’re prebooked for the disabled kids...I agree they should get priority. I don’t know what you mean that your daughter could only do one trip a day. Was it paid for in NZ? I have to pay just like anyone else here so I can catch as many as I can afford...and they aren’t cheap! I prefer to go by bus and I have a stop right outside my house but unfortunately most places I want to go aren’t on a bus route.

My Aunt has taken Lily for the night because she’s in a ratty mood and my cats and I are NOT impressed. My Aunt has a more authoritative tone with her. I’m planning on having a lovely quiet night.

 

[Mojo333]

Drop Lily at the vet by 7am for spaying/dew claw removal/ baby teeth removal

Lily probably heard what the plan was for Tuesday...no wonder she was out of sorts