Bilateral TKR Nensi_New_Nees

[Celle]

Oh Nancy, I truly sympathise (and empathise) with how you're feeling! To tell you it's the blues and they're quite normal isn't much help, I know. It's also normal for your emotions to be very fragile. I used to get angry so much more easily than usual.

I remember one day (to my shame) when I yelled and screamed at my poor husband, just because he couldn't read my mind and didn't immediately guess what I needed him to do. I had a real little tantrum and the poor fellow fled to the other end of the house and hid there for about 3 hours.

This recovery is a strain on both marriage partners and your husband is older, so he's vulnerable, too.

You're in the dark days of recovery, when your mind says you should be doing more, but your knees are saying "Not yet, sister!" Where are you in recovery?? (TKR)

As for increasing your activity, let your knees be your guide. If you do something additional, see how they feel in the next few hours. If they don't hurt more, swell more, or get stiffer, then that little bit more is probably OK.

Having both knees done together could give you a double dose of the energy drain, so factor that in as well. But, when all is said and done, the BoneSmart guidelines are just a guide. They're not set in concrete - you can experiment by doing a bit more, or a bit less, and judge the effect of that activity by assessing how your knees feel. Don't go adding a whole lot of extra things all at once, and "Listen to the knees."

 

[Happydale]

A dear dying friend of mine told me one of the hardest aspects of her final days was being so self absorbed that she couldn't deal with others or any issues that arose. I didn't tell her how I could understand that because there were points during my TKR that I felt the same way. It was that I was traumatized and so fully ensconced in my recovery that dealing with other things like household repairs would put me over the top. In my case, it was a broken washing machine. While we're all self absorbed, surprisingly the world keeps turning. I think that's the rub.

Nobody seems to have a linear recovery road - their roads take twists and turns, mountains and valleys. But another thing I notice is that we can be in a bad place for a bit, but then we have days of great improvement. Our caretakers have a rough road as well, taxing their tolerance and energy in so many ways. Good news for you: you don't have to go back next year to have the second knee done. In short order, you will have two functioning knees that will put you back in the drivers' seat and allow you to return to loving your life again. I hate to end with a cliche, but it just fits: Hang in there, Nancy. All the good is heading your way soon.

 

[nensi]

Thank you all for sharing with me, symphathizing, empathasizing, helping me put things in perspective. Bit by bit it is working. Celle, sistersinhim, Happydale, liam2015, sooz58, gertie, Jajakio.
Decided yesterday that we would go out for early sunday dinner to a local cafetaria style restaurant- giving my son a break from cooking and cleaning up the kitchen and giving me a change of scenery - even briefly.
As for the (D)H, not so sure how that is going to work out, but at this point I gonna go with the late great Gilda Radner....but @liam2015, I had no idea that she was a "late" !
I am recognizing my own concerns in thread after thread - having planned out certain time frames for recovery, we are constantly being confronted with the big bosses (knee or knees) timeline and they certainly have the power to enforce those deadlines.
Okay ! Nuff about me, gotta catch up with you guys and read the inspirational thread which Sara pointed me to....

Hey just one last anecdote - here in Belgium when people read my name - Nancy - they pronounce it so that it sounds like Nooooon-cee, through the nose, sounding very uppity.
Not my name !
So at the suggestion of my (D)H, I spelled it phonetically as Nensi and had a little mor success!

 

[VW54]

I always think of a song, maybe it was by Sinatra for his daughter? "Nancy with the smiling eyes"
Know it?

 

[sistersinhim]

I hope your dinner out will help all of you. This emotional rollercoaster, unfortunately, is normal. Sometimes, I thought I was going manic depressive! It does get much better! You are so helpful to so many people, so know that you are much appreciated!

 

[Thesoutherncook]

This journey is a long and winding road, one that is totally controlled by your new knee (s). For many of us, patience is not our strong point. I found my first TKR to be a humbling experience. Use this forum and those of us on the path with you to its fullest advantage. We're all going through, have been through or will go through the same and/or similar frustrations! Tie a knot in that rope and hang on!!

 

[rubyyarn]

@nensi, I am sorry this had to happen. I wish I had something wise to say to make it better. Maybe it was just time for an air-clearing and things will be normal soon.

 

[nensi]

I always think of a song, maybe it was by Sinatra for his daughter? "Nancy with the smiling eyes"
Know it?

Yep @VW54, my Italian American daddy named me Nancy after that song and sang it often to me over the years.i think it was "laughing eyes"

 

[nensi]

All together, we were gone for an hour, and everything went well! Knees and legs in th front seat of our VW Touran, no prob ! Unbelievable how slowly I walk but it's not temporary, right ?
Really did me good to be among people, little kids, lots of activity...but after that hour I was really glad to climb into my nest of pillows, ice flaps and duvet...
My knees were not tired but I could feel the swelling coming...

 

[nensi]

I hope your dinner out will help all of you. This emotional rollercoaster, unfortunately, is normal. Sometimes, I thought I was going manic depressive! It does get much better! You are so helpful to so many people, so know that you are much appreciated!

Thanks @sistersinhim, it was good for me and definitely not too much. I pretty much paced myself the rest of th day. Thanks for the compliment, wasn't really aware that my musings help - that's great !

 

[nensi]

@rubyyarn
Y'know at this point, I am just going with the flow. I am slowly, reluctantly, kicking and fighting all the way, getting the idea that I pretty much have too. Really the only choice or control I have is to toe the line between too much and not enough activity – trial and error all the way. And what worked yesterday doesn't necessarily work today, or tomorrow. Whatever...step by step.

 

[knit2tog]

I am so sorry you are down. It frustrating to have to mind want one thing, but the body say not yet. I struggle with this too. Some days I handle it better than others. This is the place I come to when I need cheering up. I can't wait to see Boris' new sweater.

 

[nensi]

@knit2tog - Amen to your comment on BS as the place to be for comfort and inspiration !
I seem to have reconciled myself with being in this no mans land in between surgery and rehabiliation or maybe "healing zone" would be a better word for it! Lazy day today after a lazy weekend. Tomorrow our family PT is back from vacation - feeling a little bit apprehensive about that. And tomorrow afternoon our pedicurist is coming - she has had both knees done and it'll be great to see her. My feet think so too !


Sent from my iPhone using BoneSmart Forum

 

[Chattalyn]

@nensi I think you are recovering very well. I imagine it's very hard to figure out the line between doing too much and not enough. Hang in there. You're helping others you don't even know.

 

[Canada35]

It will feel great to have a pedicure and visit with your friend. She will understand where you are and be gentle with your new knees! Enjoy!

 

[SusieShoes]

I love the term Healing Zone. You are in the healing zone, and doing all the right things. It's natural to get impatient, I think. We're geared to want results. Our society today moves so fast we expect to see results quickly. Phone calls, texts, computers, online shopping and delivery--even surgery only takes an hour or two (if bilateral), and we're sent home almost right away. Surely recovery will come along any minute, right? Only it doesn't. Our bodies are prehistoric throwbacks. They still take as long to heal as did any ancient Mesopotamian. At least we can count our blessings that the surgery is modern. But the healing... just as long as 10,000 years ago.

You have such a lovely nest, and helpers, and so many modern conveniences to distract, entertain, and enable you to enjoy your convalescence. Not to mention, we're all around to help however we can!

 

[nensi]

] Omigosh, look at the fine print on my crutches !!

 

[nensi]

Well said, @SusieShoes, hail Susieshoes !
Y'know, I was unwilling to watch the real tkr surgery before my operation. I am usually immune to blood and gore for the sake of science and sating my curiousity, but it was just too "up close and personal". Just thinking about it made my stomach churn (and still does).
Had I been able to watch it, I would have been much more patient with the healing process, methinks.
And yes, things happening outside of my microcosmic cocoon here, have tasked me to count my blessings and I had soooooooo many, it worked better than counting sheep and I sailed right into my lovely afternoon nap!

 

[liam2015]

re your crutches "yes you can" ~ reminds me of "the little engine that could" lol!

 

[sistersinhim]

How appropriate your crutches are! I love the inspiration!