TKR Need Help and Encouragement, please...

[speccybecky]

Lynn, I did what you did, lie on the floor with a book and leg up the wall, once. I couldn't get back up!!
I'm with Shelly too. My parents are elderly and live 1 1/2 drive away. i try and get there every other weekend, as does my sister, but I am always telling my mum that she has to tell us if she needs help because we don't know if she doesn't tell us. I m beginning to think she sometimes puts on an act when we are there as she doesn't want us to know and we beleive her ..we always did what we were told!!!

 

[tashia]

WOW, I am speechless, How unblieable this has happened to you. I am a widow myself and live along and my heart goes out to you. I am so glad you found us and you can come here all day and all night if you need to. How is your rest. When I am sad I play music that cheers me all day and all night. I find that if I play the radio all the time the house or apartment isn't so lonely. Have you thought about meals on wheels? I dont know if you qualify but it worth to check. Does your insurance or medical have any social workers that could step in and help. Since you are 60 is there a senior group that could help you. You did check your church, right? You said that you have a grief worker, check with her for resources. I know I am asking a lot of questions but out of all of this I hope you can find something that could help you. You are so strong and I know that you are going to get thru this. Its not fair that you have to deal with this. But sometimes bad things happen to good people and that is you. Have you tried to keep a journel on all of this. Keeping one would help so much. Come to think about it I would keep two, one for the medical and one for my true feeling. Is there any body from the place that you worked that could drop by and see you? or help? When I came to the sight, I felt very alone and very sad. My pain was so out of control and coming here helped me so much. I was here for hours and I meet some wonderful people and true friendship happened. So please keep us posted so we know you are ok. Please stay safe and take care. I am sending you some hugs. There are more that will be coming. Tashia.

 

[BrnEydGrl]

You all leave me speechless! Unfortunately I had a true "pity party" for myself yesterday, sat home alone, did not want to talk to anyone, iced, cried, yelled at my dead husband for leaving, and did not order in. At the end of the night, I went online, saw all my facebook friends wishing me the best and all of you giving me encouragement. My daughter sent me a video of my sweet 3 year old grandson singing me happy birthday. I broke down. I picked myself back up, called my kids and parents, talked to my sweet grandchild, and smiled again. I got through the night stretching the percoset with motrin and sleeping on the couch. Still not much sleep but will take some advice and get some Motrin PM. You are the best!

 

[Jacky48]

Never underestimate a good pity party! Crying cleanses the soul, I always say! I'm so glad you got to talk to your kids and hear your grandson sing you Happy Birthday! How sweet! And, you got to talk to him and your parents!

To bad you didn't get to order out, however there is still today and getting takeout might just lift your spirits a little!

Stay well my BoneSmartie friend, better days have yet to come!

 

[juniper]

BrnEydGrl, You are really new to this recovery thing. Being patient is tough when you are alone and in so much pain. I'm so sorry that it's been so hard. For me, writing down small joys during the day...birdsong, a great book, hearing from a friend...has been helpful. You could write down hearing your grandchild's voice, a movie you see...I made good friends with Hulu when I was recovering. At six weeks I went back to work part time (brought my walker and ice) but I wish I had stayed home resting and recovering about twice as long. I think I'd be further along now. It's almost a year and I am still stiff, but slowly, slowly getting better...able to walk farther, able to sleep better. Going on this site to encourage others helped me too. I probably began doing that at about two months post op. There are so many amazing people on the site...so I found some who I could encourage, and some whose stories inspired me. Once you're ready, reach out. I live in PA too, only I'm just outside of Phila. so not near enough to stop by and visit.

What's been most helpful for you lately? Are you icing for an hour at a time. Everyone told me twenty minutes tops. Josephine set me straight. Icing more helped a lot. And I propped my leg on four pillows. Being gentle and consistent with exercise seems to make the most difference for most TKR recoverers. My thoughts are with you. Good luck. Good ice. Good rest.

 

[jancat]

Happy Belated Birthday, BEG! You are still in the early stages of postop healing, so keep icing and elevating, and supplement the percocet with ibuprofen.
Did the OS want to see you at 6 weeks for a checkup?
Are you in western or eastern PA?

 

[1ELISEA]

OK, I understand a pity party but why isn't someone, you, your children on the phone with the OS today, now, immediately asking for pain control???

Why are you waiting until Monday? Isn't waiting what you have been doing so far? Bother him now! Call him and tell him that obviously he didn't get the message on Friday and that you are in pain now and need help now and don't take no for an answer. Call him back if he doesn't respond within a half hour. Unless there is a history of drug abuse, I don't understand the drs attitude.

I am sorry that you are going through this, but I'm with Trainwreck. No one is going to advocate for you. But it is very hard when you are in a comprised state to take on such challenges; goodness, take care of yourself by having those you love help you.

 

[Josephine]

BEG, you need to read this Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help. And did you try phoning a local church and asking for help? You should, you know.

 

[Pumpkin]

In addition to calling a church for help. You may be able to call an agency that provides in home care for activities of daily living (meal prep, set up, bathing, grooming, dressing, medication monitoring), companionship, picking up the house, shopping, picking up medications, and taking you to the Dr. etc. Usual minimum is 2 hours, cost is between 18 to 25 dollars and hour. All tax deductable.
Good luck to you in finding someone who will help you with your recovery, and a sympathetic Dr.

 

[PhoenixS]

BEG,
I lived from pity party to pity party for about 9 months. Looking back on them, they were all fueled by pain.
I had the opposite issue that you are having after my revision. I had access to an appropriate amount of pain medication, I was too bul-headed to take it. (Another long story I won't bore you with).

I feel so sad for you and wish I could say something profound to make all your hurt go away. Life is sometimes really hard, and you were vulnerable to begin with. Lots of changes in your life compounded by this surgery and a "nincompoop" for an OS.
I won't sound like a broken record, so I won't nag you about advocating for yourself.
But I think you will get nowhere with your OS if you don't show some teeth....
Best,
Sandy

 

[BrnEydGrl]

You all are giving me some great advice. I am icing much more and trying to massage the area. My therapist did that also. I really feel I am beating my head against a wall with a office that really has a "assembly line" practice and have heard some great things regarding this pain management group. I have been told by many that they go by a "manual" basically for "everyone" and after the surgery he no longer is involved with the patient.
I feel that the damage has already been done. I need to look out for myself and stop beating my head against a wall with a practice that basically does not give a darn about their patients. I now have a caring P/T that is taking things nice and slow and if I get a pain management group to help with my pain I should be ok, right? Heck, his office did not want to see me for another three months anyway! ( I saw his assistant post-op at five weeks)
This will then give me time to search for another OS, which I am hearing will be hard. If I could only bend my knee, I could leave the state. My insurance is the same everywhere! My advocate from the insurance company is in touch with me constantly and said she would make ANY phone calls that are needed and talk to anyone. I have an appointment with my GP next month, and I am surely going to let him know that I was devastated he let me down. I am going to ask where he would go for a second opinion. I also now have my grief therapist on board and all of you.
I did call the OS office and asked them WHY did they not call. I was not friendly. I will call them again tomorrow to hear their excuses again. I did tell them I was contacting pain management. I will keep you all updated. I can assure you that after this is over, so that I do not have MORE problems, I am putting in a complaint to EVERYONE I can so NO ONE has to go through what I have gone through.

 

[ElanorG]

I would think there ought to be someone in the Philadelphia area who is really good. Maybe someone who lives around there might know someone?

 

[rvinman]

Hi BrnEydGrl, I just signed up to wish you the best. I had my left knee done Dec. 3 and was feeling a little sorry for myself until I read your story, I have had a walk in the park compared to what you have been through. I hope you will find someone to help with your pain and wish the best to you. I have been reading this forum and it has been very helpful.

 

[speccybecky]

Sounds like you are feeling stronger in yourself. I think that when you get enough pain relief and get it under control you will get on fine and put this terrible start behind you. Hang in there

 

[bottomshollow]

Look out for the little things in your recovery that are getting better and improving---and write them down or put them in a document on your computer so you can haul them out and look at them when you're having a bad day or feel that you're getting no where. It will do a lot to cheer you up and make you see that things really are getting better.

This is a long recovery with lots of ups and downs. So follow the mantra, watch out for all the positive things in your life, and come to the forum any time you need us or just want to share with us or need to vent. We care.

 

[NightQuilter]

Lynn, I did what you did, lie on the floor with a book and leg up the wall, once. I couldn't get back up!!
.

Oh dear SpeccyBecky! Yes, at our point in recovery, the floor is such a long ways down, isn't it! I can imagine you had difficulty getting up. That's why I chose the couch for my elevation. Two weeks after I had my first knee done, I remember having this overpowering desire to just lay on the floor in the sun and stretch and do back exercises. I made it down there, with no thought about the return trip to vertical! It felt WONDERFUL. But then I had to call my hubby for help and it took some time to figure out how to get me up (I am not a petite!). Finally, by propping one arm on the frame of the bed and the other across his stooped back, as he stood up, I was able to elevator up with him. UGLY! But still worth it for the stretch! lol How are you doing now?

 

[NightQuilter]

I had a true "pity party" for myself yesterday, sat home alone, did not want to talk to anyone, iced, cried, yelled at my dead husband for leaving, and did not order in. At the end of the night, I went online, saw all my facebook friends wishing me the best and all of you giving me encouragement. My daughter sent me a video of my sweet 3 year old grandson singing me happy birthday. I broke down. I picked myself back up, called my kids and parents, talked to my sweet grandchild, and smiled again. I got through the night stretching the percoset with motrin and sleeping on the couch. Still not much sleep but will take some advice and get some Motrin PM. You are the best!

GOOD FOR YOU BEG!! That grandbaby singing alone must have been incredibly uplifting! Now, the party's over and you are on your way. I am encouraged that you've heard good things about the pain management group - I hope you are meeting with them tomorrow. And perhaps they have advice about an orthopedist who would be willing to start managing your post-op care. I know neither Philly nor Hershey are particularly close, but between them you have 3-4 teaching hospitals, all of whom must advocate staying ahead of the pain, with Penn State's Hershey Med Center, Temple, Penn, and perhaps Drexel. Perhaps they are worth checking in to. Keep with the ice, elevate, and massage - we'll get that knee bending yet.

You are getting to a better place - I swear simply the sheer force of will by all your BoneSmarties friends are going to help you get to the place you need to be!! Good luck with sleep tonight and solutions tomorrow!!

 

[tashia]

Close your eyes and imagine us standing all around you giving you one big hug. Take care.

 

[1ELISEA]

This will then give me time to search for another OS, which I am hearing will be hard. .... My advocate from the insurance company is in touch with me constantly and said she would make ANY phone calls that are needed and talk to anyone. I have an appointment with my GP next month, and I am surely going to let him know that I was devastated he let me down.

Ahhh... now that sounds like you've got some good plans in place. Good for you!

Perhaps your insurance advocate will assist with finding a new OS if that is hard to do. And a revision specialist OS who is used to taking cases from other OS might be an idea.

While you wait for your GP appt next month, how about proactively looking for another one; get recommendations, research online. Then call that office/ offices and talk to the front desk or make an appt to see that GP; find out if your views of medical care align.

And have a back up plan. Theeeeennnnnn, when you go see your GP, you will be in a position to say "goodbye" if you want to do so.

 

[tashia]

I hope you have a good night sleep.