TKR Need Help and Encouragement, please...

[tashia]

Beg, I just came over to say HI. Its ok to be down but try not to stay to long down. I do know you have a lot going on and you are doing so good. You may not feel it but you are. You may feel that you are in a holding pattern but while you feel that you can still dream. Please take care and let us know you are ok. Tashia

 

[tashia]

Beg, are you ok. I know you said you felt like you were getting depressed. Please let us know you are ok.I think I just remember you had a appointment today. How did it go?

 

[bottomshollow]

Hope you're feeling more positive today. It's important for your physical and mental health to keep that chin up and find the good things in your life and count your blessings.

Take care and keep us posted. We care.

 

[BrnEydGrl]

Thanks for the hugs. Yeah, I have been pretty down in the dumps lately. Really has been hard to pull myself out this time. Sometimes I wonder if my "timing" was bad, but I was in so much pain before the surgery.

Been seeing my cancer therapist and she is a big help. I am trying to do all of your suggestions. Soooooo hard sometimes. I have been going to sleep with the TV on, it helps. I love music, I keep that on mostly all the time, but then I hear a song that brings back memories and I am back where I started. Just a roller coaster I guess. I know the knee doesn't help my depression and the depression doesn't help my knee. I am on anti-depressants and they help as much as they can. The doctor says there is not a magic Pill...so true.

I am still doing my exercises and it seems like the swelling comes and goes. I will be so glad to see the new docs the end of the month. There seems to be a "little" more bend but I don't think it is much. The pain is a lot less so I am taking less meds. I am doing the "cocktail" and that seems to be helping. I see Pain Management on Monday. I was thinking...do I need them, since I am not feeling too bad now? Then I remember that who knows what is in store for me. I try not to think about it. Such a awful experience this has been.

My son has been calling daily and my daughter called and put the little guy on Skype with me. So cute, he runs in the kitchen and grabs "peas" to put on HIS new knee. He saw me, once with Peas on my Knees, and can't seem to forget it.

I am just taking it a day at a time. Tomorrow is a new day...hugs to all.

 

[bottomshollow]

Sleep tight and have sweet dreams tonight.

 

[tashia]

I was getting concerned about you because I hadn't heard from you. Honey I know you are on a roller coaster but you will make it. The pain in the knees are getting better and will even get better in time. The pain in your heart will do the same. I know what you mean about hearing something and brings back memories, it is a tear jerker but a good cry does clear the pain. You had some real ruff times that came your way. For some reason it came all together. I'm so sorry it happen but there is a reason. I don't know what it is but it is what it is. Just take a step at a time. Hows the weather where you are? We did have some rain but thats it. Tonight we are surpose to get cold. Have you gotten a stuff animal yet? When you get stronger you can start going out more and that will help so much. Did I tell you its ok to yell also? Stay with us and we will help thru the knee. Please be gentle with yourself because you are so special. Here are some hugs coming your way. ><>>>>>>Hugs >>>>>> Tashia

 

[BrnEydGrl]

(big sigh) Last night I had such awful nightmares. I think I am so worried now about a MUA. I just feel I can't take another day of pain. I finally am so much better in that category I never want to go through what I have been through again. I keep reminding myself I will have a new doctor on the 26th and tomorrow I meet with the pain management doctor. They won't let it happen to me again, right?

I have been reading peoples experiences and it scares me so much. I will be three months post op when I see the new docs. Will they want me to have one right away? I don't even have anyone to drive me there to get it done! My friend that flew out from Colorado said she would come again anytime. Should I ask her? To book a flight last minute would be so costly. I need to book at least two weeks in advance. I don't know what to do.

I guess the fear is creeping in. I am so tired. I do not know what my bend is, I know it is better but not much. The swelling is getting better but it always comes back when I am up and moving for a couple of hours. I am doing everything, icing, elevating taking my meds. Well, now I am taking the "cocktail" and a occasional Nucynta when the pain and ache comes back. (maybe once or twice in 24 hours.) Nucynta is just like percoset, supposedly
.
It just turns my stomach upside down even thinking about it, but I need to plan. I don't have anyone to help and I think I will at least need someone to drive. The old doc said "its nothing" but he said the same about the TKR, a lie. So many people have different opinions. Some say, it was nothing and others say it was worse than their TKR!

Finally, I rarely have pain, but I don't know how much longer I can walk around like this. Maybe the bend is 60-70? I can't walk up steps, only one at a time.

I get so sad when I think I am that "small percentage" this happens to. I tried to do everything right and just hate that the old doc blamed it on me. When I told my home nurse, she was furious and said he does that all the time. She said I did everything right. I really hate feeling sorry for myself. There are soooo many people that have it worse than me. Knowing that still does not take away the fear or the pain.


I just had to unload. I hate coming here and always being so negative. I am usually not a negative person!

 

[speccybecky]

You say you 'rarely have pain' but that you have swelling. Are you sure you don't need to keep on the painkillers, surely the swelling cause s pain and discomfort , a different pain maybe but it is still pain. And you really are still very early in recovery , I know it feels like forever but it s still really early. Be kinder to yourself. It is a long haul and you are at the beginning f the roller coaster ride. Think how far you have come not how far you still have to go

 

[BrnEydGrl]

Thank you Nancy. I know, I have to remind myself how much better I am. I could not even lift my leg for a week or longer. I can't even remember!
Yes, when the swelling gets bad, that is when I take a pain killer. I guess my old doc had me so trained not to take them! I still don't even know if I should be still taking them? I am just trying to take them when I need them and that is sometimes only once or twice a day. I am not on any type of schedule. I try to use Tylenol first and see if that works. I guess all this talk of addiction scares everyone. I have read the library but when you have a doc and nurses like I had, they have really drilled it into your head! I hope this pain management doctor is good. After all I have been through I don't think I could handle another awful doctor. I am keeping my fingers crossed! My whole life I have had wonderful doctors and hope to add more to "that" list.

 

[PhoenixS]

Hi BEG,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling down. This is part of the roller coaster recovery from a knee replacement.
You have a great deal of company in the "small percentage" group.
There are quite a few of us here who have had "challenging" recoveries. Many of us post here to vent so please do not take the "horror stories" to heart.
I stopped posting my experiences because I didn't want to frighten others, because in the scope of knee replacements, we are really a "small percentage" and most people move on to live happily with pain free knees.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I do believe it, even though sometimes, I see a train...
Know that what you are feeling is very normal. It also doesn't help that folks post their progress, which they should, but it does make us even more aware of our detour from the bell curve of recovery.
Talk therapy is wonderful and helpful, and the anti-depressants help as well you are doing all the right things as you say. It is tough.
I also think that you need a bit more pain relief than what you are doing. Swelling is also a sign of pain. You really need to get more comfortable in order to really work the knee.
Please go to Pain Management. I went and the best thing I did for myself was to get adequate pain relief (which took a while).

Pain and depression are linked with each other, you cannot rid yourself of one unless you treat the other. You are already working the depression part (seperate from grief, which just adds to the problem). You must attend to the pain.
Believe me, I have walked (hobbled) in your shoes.
Sorry for the long story. I just feel your frustration and sadness in your posts.
XX
Sandy

 

[Buddhabear]

Sandy, you are so right to remind us that pain and depression are linked. BEG, yesterday I took the pain meds, and the cortisone shots were kicking in and working, and I had hours with relative comfort, not pain free, but everything is relative! I took a walk after our big blizzard, got some fresh air, and when I came home I was less depressed. I lit some smelly candles and took a long bath and slept all night. We have to take the good moments when we can get them - and hang on.

 

[speccybecky]

Take the painkillers! I was told that if I took them for the right reason I.e. pain then I would not become addicted.
I even decided in my head that I was taking them and if I did get addicted then I'd deal with that down the line when I was feeling better!
Needless to say it didn't happen and I weaned off gradually when I no longer needed them.
I know t doesn't feel like it but it IS still really early and I'm just so sorry you had such a rotten start.
Here in the uk it seems to be different as we are discharged from hospital into the care of our GP .

 

[BrnEydGrl]

What would I do without all of you!!! It is only 2:30 in the afternoon and I actually "counted" the times I have gone up and down the stairs. TEN Hmmmm I was working on my journal, as you all suggested, so I can let the new docs and pain management docs, what is going on. I have not used my cane in over a week when I am out and about. I can feel the tightness even though I have elevated and iced practically all morning...EXCEPT going up and down stairs. (feeding cats, getting new ice, getting the paper, lunch, breakfast, coffee and on and on) You are right, I do need to "chill."
THEN I came here and read more posts.... Most help me, but then, the MUA posts. Arghhhh! What if these new docs want to do one? My ROM is really really bad. WHEN is a MUA needed? I get so confused. I search all over the web and they are done regularly. I mean, if I don't get one, am I ever going to walk again? I mean walk like a normal human, not Quasimodo dragging his leg along. I want so much to TRUST another doctor! Of course the last one said I had to do it NOW that the window is closing. Again, WHEN is one actually helpful? I hate to sound like a "broken record", I have no one to bounce it off of.

 

[tashia]

Brn its ok to say all this. I do know that having a person in physical present is better, or so much better, but this is the way it is right now. You remeind me of the pain I went thru by being by myself. It did get better, I still have moments of being alone being so painful but it is tired to pain. I really think that once the pain gets under control you will feel so much better. If the knee is still swollen the ROM won't be there. I know it scary, it took a long time for me. Please know its ok to write here what you feel. You do have people that care. We are here. Please take care and maybe do less. See if that helps your leg. If the weather is ok stand outside and get some fresh air. Tashia

 

[karmigirl]

BEG,
Stand back and take a big breath, then let's take things one at a time. You will first see your pain management Dr. tomorrow, let him work on the pain issues with you, if he prescribes more or new pain meds then you will need to take them on schedule, this will help with your swelling and pain. If you wait until you are already in pain it is much harder to get it under control. Then you will have a few weeks until you see your NEW OS and let him decide if you need an MUA or not. I don't think there is any window of time to have it done. IF he then says you need the MUA you will be able to schedule it at a time so you can arrange for your friend to get into town to help you. It is not something they are going to do that very day. Your swelling just might improve enough after the PMDr. sees you that your ROM may make some improvement.
Please relax and rest a bit more you mentioned your swelling is worse when you been up on it for a couple of hours, you should not be on your knee for that long a stretch. Do a bit and then take a break for awhile and be kind to that knee. I know you feel like it has been forever already but it is ONLY 3 months and those 3 months have not been with proper care. YOu really need to keep that in mind that you have been set back in your recovery because of Dr. NONO.
You have a great plan now just let it happen for you. We promise things will get better and you will be able to walk "normal" again it just might take you a bit longer because of the bad deal you have been dealt. We really care about and you and are pulling for you all the way, don't ever feel bad about coming here and "letting" it out on us, that is what we are here for. TAke care of yourself, tomorrow is the start of your new journey.

 

[tashia]

Brn, When I get that way I was told to at night just before bed time to write one thing I am greatfull for. And if I could think of more then write them too. Take a day at a time. Then everytime I felt really down I was to look at the list. Don't get into tomarro until tommow. I see my computer is having problems spelling. It does that once in a while. Just for today I have friends that care about me even thou I haven't meet them personality. Take care. Tashia

 

[60mom]

I just had some thoughts for you. I am one that had the MUA and have been in pain since. But I also am getting much better range of motion. I bet it is 115+ and it had dropped to about 85 right before I had it done. So For that I am glad it was done. Not sure why it is so painful for me, but it isn't excruciating. I just need pain meds but can't get any. If I could take them regularly I would be fine. So since you get to go to pain management tomorrow I would be more talking to him about how to manage your pain if and when you have the MUA. That way just because you are not in need of them as much right now, you might be if they do it. That way he isn't questioning why you are there and you are not feeling guilty for going. You need to go and get the answers not just for the possibility of an MUA but also for you in the future to find what pain management works best for you since some don't, so you are never put in this situation again. If you decide to have the MUA there is a plan in place and he can be an advocate for you. You also might be taken more seriously if you have a pain management doctor. If your like most who have the MUA you probably will only need them for 1-2 weeks but if you do have some issues like I am having everyone will be ready to manage it. I imagine pain management doctors work with your other doctors so you shouldn't get the run around. But those are good questions for tomorrow. Let us know how it goes tomorrow because I am seriously thinking that may be my next step.

I pray for you to get the answers and care that you deserve. Also that in time your knee no longer swells, hurts and has 125 or more range of motion.

 

[tashia]

Hi, I thought I would come and say HI. Another day, Wow just think all the days you have already done succesful. I notice that you had lots of trips up and down the stairs. I think it may be to many. Is it possible to cut down some trips? Thats just a thought. I am so glad you joined us. In time you will be able to go to other posts and encourage people. When you read the stories remember its theirs not yours. Be easy on yourself because you are very important. Tashia

 

[Jacky48]

Hi BEG, I hope today went well for you! You have been through one heck of a couple of days worrying, worrying and worrying some more, you poor lady! You are going to worry yourself sick my friend! I know seeing a new doctor is scary, because you don' know what they will be like, however that being said, I assume you researched this new doctor and you were comfortable enough with what you saw, to make an appointment with him! Now you need to trust your own judgement and wait and see what he has to say! Whatever happens, you are a strong lady, and you'll make through, again trust yourself!

Cuddle your furry little friends when they let you, cause know about cats and they'll let you pet them, when they're in the mood, and then scat.... they're gone when they've had enough!

Stay strong my friend, you've come so far!

 

[karmigirl]

Hi BEG,
Just curious how did things go today at the Pain Management Dr.??? Hope it went well and you got some answers that will let you rest a bit easier. Please let us know how you made out.