Take your pain meds because you need them---I, too, was worried about addicition. My OS told me, "Listen, you are taking these because you are in pain. You will know when you do not need them anymore." He was right.
I just want to be able to drive my daughter to school in the morning (like I use to) and be able to feel like I can run around with her now
I began driving at about 4 1/2 weeks or so---and the first trip ---only a half-hour of errands---wiped me out! I know how you feel---these little trips mean so much to us, and they themselves are a little glimmer of normalcy that we all crave so much.
Once you are off of the narcotic pain meds, you may consider short little trips. You need to be able to perform an emergency brake. You will be wiped out---but you will get back out into society again! It is slow-- a little bit at a time, but it feels great.
I do very little lower-body lifting now---it is more aerobic than anything. When I go to the gym, I do aerobic weights and at least an hour of elliptical or stationary bike. I am not lifting heavy anymore---but I still feel great when I leave---it does destress you, and it is very much like a club. The lifting I do now is normally in a manner that I am not using my legs as a foundation---I use the Nautilus machines and benches---stuff like that. Admittedly, my life has changed, and I am not lifting heavily anymore, bu I can sacrifice that readily for what I receive in return.
One new "toy" that my gym has is a mountain bike simulator---it has a video screen, clipless pedal, so you can clip in, and shifters, and you work out on video-trails as long as you want. I like that, as it is not really as mindless!
When I was recovering from the BTKR, I would go to the gym on Saturdays and hop on the exercise bike and use the exerbands to stretch and to strengthen my leg muscles---I would also do gait drills, as my gait had issues after the surgery.
I would then hop in the sauna and the steam room and try to stretch my quads and hammies.
Afterwards, I would shower and quickly go home and ice/elevate.