Well this has been a day that I would rather forget.
My 2nd period students were off the wall this morning- I'm not sure why, but they were- and my patience was worn about as thin as it can be. My next two blocks got the heads up from some of my 2nd block students and were a little calmer, but I should have guessed that the way my school day went might be a sign of what is to come...
At the end of the day I headed to my appointment with the Physiatrist. I thought I knew what I was going in to since I had done research, read the articles on here and on other websites- but I was wrong. I sat there in the Dr's office, she asked me a few questions, touched my leg a few times and said that the ortho that had referred me to her had mentioned an EMG so she asked, "Do you want to have an EMG done?" and I said, "well, isn't that why I'm here? Because the OS thought I had some nerve issues?" and she said, "ok. I guess we can do that then if that's what you want." and then packed up as if to leave the room.
As she was packing her stuff up, she said, "do you have any questions?" and I thought to myself, "about what? She hasn't said anything or helped me in any way..." but I didn't say that, I said instead, "Yes, I have a question. Is this it?" and she said, "is what it?" so I responded, "there's nothing else to this appointment?" and she said, "no, that's it for now," and she ushered me out the door to make an appointment for an EMG (next Tuesday ~ May 10th.)
I honestly don't know what to think right now. It's not like I expected a cure, but I guess I thought maybe a hint of what she thinks could be wrong- or maybe a hint of what I could do for the time being to help with this. But nothing. This is my 3rd Monday in the past 4 Mondays that I have come home let down. Every time I go into an appointment I try to convince myself to not allow too much hope, but I do hope because that's just in my nature- and then a few minutes later I am feeling discouraged because there is nothing out there to help me in the present time. Yes, there might be something that is picked up by the EMG, but that is still a week away and it is like I am constantly waiting and waiting and waiting and the pain is still here. I still can't stand up without usually muttering "ouch" and the process of sitting down is the same thing. I still can't walk more than 10 feet without wanting to cry and without my knee becoming so stiff later on that I can't soothe it, and I still can't do what I had this knee replacement for- live life as I've always dreamed of. Freely and without pain.