I really struggled with this decision as well, and put it off until I realized that this was my only option unless I was willing to spend the rest of my life giving up more and more of what I wanted to do, and depending more and more on others to help me.
While I had seen a few things online from people who stated that they wished they had never had it done, I decided to approach it as a numbers game. Overwhelmingly, it appeared that the outcomes were positive, and I decided that I would do everything I could to control the factors that were within my control.
I was selective enough about my surgeon and the hospital to fly to another city to have it done even though there were surgeons available in the city near which I live. Part of what drove my decision is that the local hospital AND the local surgical center have a really poor track record for infections. The surgeon I went with was recommended to me (by a PA that worked for a local OS), and he said that this was all he did. He was board certified, he taught the procedure to others, he was the go-to guy to fix other surgeons' bad outcomes, and pursued continuing professional development. While I didn't know this at the time I made the decision, it turned out that four separate health-care providers I came in contact with at the hospital said he would be or had been their surgeon of choice for this procedure. He told me that he had done thousands of these, and had never had an infection. These were the factors I could control to stack the odds in my favor for a positive outcome.
I also educated myself about this as much as possible. I didn't find this site until after surgery, so you're ahead of the curve there. I ran across a random mention of metal allergies, recalled that I have sensitivities, mentioned it to my surgeon's nurse, and they changed the implant that was used due to that conversation. Having read up on it, I think the implant I received was a very good choice for me. Had I not had that reminder, I might have had to deal with an implant that was causing problems for me down the road. Another factor in my favor.
I picked my timing: both young adult children out of the house, one took the dogs with them, wrapped up a very busy work year, weather is favorable this time of the year (no ice to contend with). More factors in my favor.
Your factors will be different because your needs and circumstances are different, but if you approach it that way, you maximize your chances of coming out of this with a positive outcome. I accepted the fact that I might not make it through the surgery alive--minimal chance of that, but possible--and decided that this was a risk that I was willing to take. The limitations were affecting the way I lived. I used to be house-proud and did a lot of yard work, kept the house and garage and yard and woodpiles neat. Slowly over the years I gave up more and more, and turned a blind eye to how my mobility affected my quality of life. Over the last six months I did less and less grocery shopping, and finally started to make use of a pick-up service where the store did the shopping for me. Many times I would go out to eat at drive-throughs for lunch at work because I didn't have lunch-makings at home--the store trips were avoided. Yet I wouldn't use a riding cart--that was for old and crippled people.
There's a point where you just weigh things out, realize there are no guarantees, no absolutes, and make a choice to go for it or not. It sounds like you're there, and I congratulate you on having made the courageous choice. Fortune favors the bold.
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