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TKR Hopefaith's Ups and Downs of Recovery

I thinking I am having a hard time emotionally decreasing the pain meds. I am again teary frequently. Is this common in decreasing them? I am doing it slowly, still on Tramadol, actually trying to go to just Tramadol and Tylenol. I am crying a lot. I am so discouraged right now. A very dark time again. I wonder if you all get so very tired of my depression with all of this? Moving used to be the best anti-depressant I knew. I can't move yet. (I mean aerobic type moving.)
I know this isn't a forum about difficult life events, so I hold back about my very difficult break up in the midst of this brutal recovery. But I am in so much pain and fear about it. (emotional pain)
I do have some questions. I still have difficulty lifting my leg off of the bed. I can do it about 10-12 times before it hurts. But my leg is not completely straight.
Also, when you all talk about "the bend", do you mean all of the time? I have stiffness a lot, so my bend is not that great because of stiffness and the infamous "tight band" feeling. So, when I hear about these really high bend ROM, do you mean you can do that in spite of that above mentioned feeling. I just wonder if I am way behind in my knee recovering.
Thanks for "listening"
~hopefaith
 
@hopefaith I am sorry you are having such a tough time. From what I understand, getting a straight leg is tougher than getting it to bend. As for ROM I don't think it is what they get all the time. I know for my husband it is what he was able to do really pushing himself, not what it does naturally. He has a lot of 2 steps forward, 1 step back times. He gets a lot of the 'tight band' feeling, expecially in the morning. His PT taught him to lean on the kitchen counter with the leg out behind him and gently stretch it out, and then bring it forward (with the other leg out behind) and gently bend it. This seems to help with the stiffness.

From what I read on a lot of different forums, depression is a part of TKR. I believe it is because everyone gets tired of feeling helpless and in some ways useless because of their limited abilities while they heal. From what I understand that feeling goes away as you start to heal. Most everyone hits 'walls', stalls out, and has set backs. I've seen it in my husband. His way of coping is if he has a bad day, he doesn't do as much. He tries to keep mind busy so he doesn't dwell on it so much -he does crosswords, builds model cars (which he hasn't done in forever), and watches movies on Netflix.

Remember everyone heals at a different rate, it has a lot of variables including how much manipulating they had to do to get your leg straight. Your muscles have a memory and if you walked 'weird' for a long time they want to go back to that way of walking, so they are fighting your new straighter leg.

I quess what I am trying to say is 'hang in there'- this too will pass.
 
Yes, the bend will vary. You might get a "maximum" bend at some point in the day but then later be a bit stiff and not bend as much. I think the important thing is the trend day by day and week by week.
(I need to remind myself of this too).:wink:
I would think if you can lift your leg off the bed 10 times that's pretty good.

I'm not surprised you feel down with a tough personal situation on top of the knee recovery.
 
Hi @hopefaith, I am sorry for all that you are going through. I bet when you named your thread you did not think it would be this up and down did you? You cannot compare yourself to others when it comes to weaning of of the meds or getting your ROM. This is what my OS said to me today when I was comparing to others. He said everyone heals differently and as long as I am seeing progress, I should just let it flow.

The fact that you have so much else going on in your life makes your recovery that much more difficult. Please do not worry about sharing your pain on the forum - we are all here with you and will help in whatever way we can. We are your shoulder to cry on and your friends to laugh with.

Hoping that things calm down for you soon.
xo
 
@71Beetle that's why I chose that name. My lifetime struggle. And sometimes like now I do need others to hold those for me. So thank you. :yes:
 
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Oh @hopefaith, sorry you are in that place again, hang fire now is not the time to be decreasing your pain meds. You need them. No I will never tire of your posts. I and everyone else on bonesmart are here for you whenever you need our support. Each of us has our 'roughs' and ' smooths', some of us more than others. Post away, please do not bottle it up. My emotions are yoyoing all over the place at the moment, but I know that when I am low I can depend on all my bonesmart friends to lift my spirit as you can.

After my original TKR it took me ages to get a straight leg lift. My knee bend at the moment comes and goes depending on how stiff it is.

Just had a long phone call from son, I wrote this an hour ago, I will post it now
 
Hi @hopefaith, thank you for your kindness regarding my procedure tomorrow. I'm sorry you're so down right now. Don't put yourself under too much pressure hon, there's no need. This is a slow, INDIVIDUAL, recovery. We all recover differently.

Like you I am prone to depression and countless times I've wanted to go back on medication during this period, especially when things have not gone so well. However, thanks to people on this site, I've actually managed it fairly well. Although I must say that the lows were indescribably awful, like a black abyss wanting to swallow me up. I have fought so hard against it and I think I may have won so far.

You are only just gone eight weeks post op, which is no time at all in this recovery. Please don't force yourself off meds until you are certain that you are pain free enough to do so. It is very hard to get back on top of pain relief once you fall through it. I couldn't bear to think of you suffering pain needlessly. You've gone through some dreadful things that would challenge the best of us with the TKR to cope with too. You are doing fine. Your leg raises are fine. Just do what you are comfortable with, the rest will follow as you heal. You are one very brave, supportive and caring lady. It's lovely knowing you're around with your friendly comments and support. Thank you x x x lots of love and a great big hug....love Nana moon 27 xxxx
 
I'm sorry you're having a rough time @hopefaith . Life, in addition to this recovery, can be very difficult sometimes and paired together - oy vey. I think you know what a tough time I've had with my recovery. I just hit 6 months a couple of days ago and can only now truly say that things are getting better. It took me forever to get my leg straight. No amount of exercises would do it. What finally worked was just proper heel-toe walking. You're just 2 months out. At that point I was still 5-7 degrees short of straight. As for the bend, I am one of the fortunate ones with great bend but that changes from day to day and yes, when I overdo and when my leg is stiff and swollen, my ROM is less. Keep in mind though that it's more than just numbers. I may have 145 flexion, but I still can't get off the floor on my own. There are people with much less flexion who can. I really do think numbers are just that - numbers. I truly did not start to see improvements until month 3. I know I was/am on the slower end of recovery, but the thing is, we all get to the same end point. Some of us just take the scenic route to get there.

I know it's just words, but I understand how difficult your breakup must be on top of everything. You will get through this. Not as quickly as you would like, but you will and hopefully sooner than later you will come to realize that you are better off this way. It took me almost 2 years and meeting someone who treats me wonderfully to realize that the man that I thought was my soul mate, just wasn't. He was none of the things that I deserve and he always made me feel bad about myself. I'll never understand why I put up with it for so long or missed it when it was gone even, but there it is. You're a good hearted, strong and determined woman and you will get through this.

We're all here to listen - be it knee issues or otherwise ..... you'd be hard pressed to go through someone that at least one other person on here can't identify with or offer support for. xoxoxoxoxo
 
@hopefaith

I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now - but I totally understand. :console2:

Your body has had a lot to cope with - the physical drain and energy loss due to the surgery and the emotional drain due to your relationship break-up as well. It's not just the drugs that make you depressed - it's the whole package of surgical trauma, healing, energy drain, frustration, sleeplessness and emotional stress.

It's still early days on the knee recovery scene, so don't try to cut back in the drugs too soon. You won't get addicted. Some people need to take these heavy-duty medications for more than 3 months. Some ease off sooner - everyone's different.

If you find you are getting so down that it worries you, ask your regular doctor for some anti-depressants to get you over the worst.

Take care, my dear!
We're here for you.
 
I hope you are feeling better. I agree if you need antidepressants ask your GP. I was already on them when I had this surgery which I am sure helped me. Please take care - you will get there!
 
Why is it that the possible side effects of antidepressants are so depressing?
[Bonesmart.org] Hopefaith's Ups and Downs of Recovery
 
@Celle Thank you so much for your kind words. They really do help. I have been on anti depressants for many years. I am going to the doc this morning who prescribes them. They need to be adjusted!
@Jozilla thank you for your words of encouragement and I missed wishing you birthday greetings. I am so sorry and feel bad about this. So very late Happy Birthday!!:flwrysmile:
@DogLoverx3 Thank you so much for your thought filled note. It really does help hearing from you as your recovery has been a challenge at times. The reminders help. I have, on the stress scale about 5 of the top stressors, so it is no wonder I feel this way. I am so happy you have met someone who treats you well! (Keep us posted). :yes:
I keep reading all of your words from the past day as it is a very hard time for me. I feel cared about as I read them. Isn't it amazing how a site like this exists? I hope I encourage you a little of how you've helped me.
x x x
~hopefaith
(Sorry for how weird this formatted)
 
Hello @hopefaith, I haven't been reading many other threads other than Nana moons, as wifi is a bit difficult on my trip. I did quickly read through your recents posts though and I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. A TKR is enough to cope with, and it is then you need someone you can rely on, if you have personal problems as well it must be particularly bad for you just now.
The last thing you need to worry about is painkillers or ROM. Your bend will increase gradually, you are still early on in your recovery, and if you need Tramadol, keep taking it, it worked brilliantly for me and you just know when you can start to cut down. If it still hurts you are not ready to cut down. I'm sure you have lots of exercises already, one I found quite helpful for getting a straight leg was lying on my bed on my stomach, a weight around my TKR ankle, with just my knees to feet hanging off the bed. It hurts a bit, so don't do it for too long.
I do hope that you feel better soon, I am thinking of you xxx Ellejay
 
@Ellejay You are so kind. Thank you for your post. Thank you for your caring words. Yes, it has been so hard to have this crises happen right after this surgery. I have done that exercise, but not with weight. That is a good idea. It hurts after about 3 min. without a weight, but maybe in time I can try a weight. How are your knees doing? I know the "other" one was started to act up about a week ago? How is your TKR doing on such an active, fun holiday? Have you still been bicycling? I bought a brand new bike with the higher handle bars last summer and alas my knee couldn't ride it. So, I dream of taking bicycle rides, short, medium and then long. I look at it longingly. (:
So nice to hear from you,
~hopefaith
 
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